


BONDS

by Psithurisma



Series: BONDS [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, M/M, Magic, Magical Realism, Romance, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Soulmates, soulbonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:24:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 108,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5804320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psithurisma/pseuds/Psithurisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To most people, a Soulbond was like a fantasy, a far-away dream that could only be lived through those sappy romance movies everyone cried over. Soulbonds were incredibly desirable, but to Hongbin, it was his worst nightmare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This series was sparked from my troubles finding so many a/b/o verse fics with dubious consent, and the trepidations with consent in the a/b/o verse itself. I wanted to make an a/b/o fic where everything was consensual, so here it is!! (Albeit, a super long fic).
> 
> Tags for this chapter specifically: self-hating Omega, (non-illegal)drug abuse, many emotions 
> 
> I have a private twitter for fic; I tweet about scenes that aren't written, or things that happened in the past, please add me on @psithurisma and i'll add you!
> 
>  
> 
> update:  
> i have created small playlists to play as you read, if you like to do that!  
> i'll put more songs as i find them, but so far there is:  
> [Hakyeon](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDCAXPb-l0Ip4zi1UFSHezdQ)  
> [Taekwoon & Hongbin](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDDIUPq8PcUVhkrJ_iEuw5Zo)  
> [Hyuk](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDDFc8a-wUHdY0gkUP3Qs2gF)  
> Also, if you find any songs you think suit any of the members, please tell me [here!](https://ask.fm/xfaunalyn) If I like them, I'll add them to the fitting playlist!

Hongbin bit into his toast, scrolling through the morning news on his tablet that was haphazardly popped up against his toaster. There had been another break-in nearby, though lately they had only been targeting small shops and stores, where the odds were better of finding things worth stealing than houses. Hongbin nonchalantly sipped his tea, though his sigh when swallowing shuddered slightly. His hair was slightly damp, washing it twice over with the strongest scented shampoo he could find, his skin scrubbed thoroughly. The smell of vanilla and strawberry followed him wherever he went, but really, it was only to cover his insecurities.  
  
Hongbin was an Omega, and hated himself for it. So he tried to hide it in every aspect of his life.

He took the Beta Pill; medication that shielded your scent and instincts as an Omega from other people, and instead turned you into, at least externally, a Beta. They even managed to suppress the majority of some heats, or made them at least bearable, so you didn't succumb to rutting into your mattress just for a release of some sort. Hongbin shuddered at the thought.  
  
"I've taken my morning Pill." Hongbin said out loud, staring at the bottle as he noted that he has taken it. Soon after he stated it to himself, he downed one, washing it down with some tap water. His nose crinkled in distaste, but he didn't complain (not that he had anyone to complain it to, anyway). Hongbin was of the opinion that anything was better than being found out that he was something as ridiculous as an omega.

He then sighed, dispensing the crusts of his toasts into the bin and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He had slipped the Pill bottle into his bag, in case he wasn't home until after dinner (better to be safe than sorry).

He ignored the text from a whining Sanghyuk about how he missed the bus (his own fault, really). He wondered, as he walked down the steps outside his apartment, whether Sanghyuk was annoying because he was an alpha or because he was just Sanghyuk. Probably both. All alphas he had met were at least somewhat annoying, at least in his humble opinion. Especially if they knew he was an omega. Though that's why he took the Beta Pill, so they'd treat him like a Beta - like a _normal_ person - and to this day, no one at his university knew. Not even Sanghyuk.

  
  
  
  


Taekwoon’s smooth hands took the wheel, driving with no rush, relaxed. Driving had always been therapeutic: something he had missed in the wild. He pressed his lips together, eyes flitting out the window every so often. The growling of the car was somewhat questionable, but considering he’d gotten it for so cheap, it was decent enough. Hakyeon, next to him, was downing one of those pills that even _smelled_ like Beta, and Taekwoon’s nose scrunched up in distaste. Hakyeon met eyes with him and gave a small smile, screwing the cap back on.  
  
“Count yourself lucky.” He said simply, placing the bottle in the drink holder.

Taekwoon’s eyes flickered back over to him, the corner of his lip pulling to the side a little solemnly. “I do.”  
  
Hakyeon just smiled and settled back in the seat, eyes returning to the window.

For a long time, Hakyeon didn’t have to worry about taking them. It was only in the past couple years did he have to begin again. Bonded or mated pairs had their own scent, a scent that meant _this person is taken._ No one could mate with a currently mated pair, but because Hakyeon’s soulbond was fractured from his soulmate’s death… he had to take them again. At the thought, Taekwoon frowned, hands gripping the wheel tighter as he turned a corner rather sharply, Hakyeon’s lithe frame swaying suddenly.

“Sorry.” Taekwoon murmured.   
  
Hakyeon just smiled in response, though Taekwoon didn’t have to look at him to know it was sad. None of Hakyeon’s smiles were truly happy anymore.  
  
Taekwoon pulled up to the university, turning a little to say goodbye but Hakyeon was already climbing out of the door.  
  
“Wait-”  
  
“Hm?” Hakyeon blinked, popping his head back in, the car door still open. Taekwoon looked up at him, his eyes meeting Hakyeon's.  
  
“What time will you be home?” He asked quietly.  
  
Hakyeon’s face softened. “I have a few lectures today. Plus I have to tutor some kids, so I might be home a bit late.”  
  
“Mm.” Taekwoon just nodded, gazing up at him. “Be saf-”  
  
His words came to a sharp halt, his entire body flinching like he'd been electrocuted.

His muscles tensed to the point it hurt, and his pupils dilated. Short of breath, Taekwoon’s head began to turn left and right, his hands scrambling as he sat up, looking around wildly for something unknown. His heart hurt, yet it begged for something he couldn't understand. It felt like someone is in danger. Someone he loved. His hand wretched the door handle and pushed it open as if the car had begun to cave in on itself.  
  
“Taekwoon-?”  
  
Taekwoon had clambered out of the car, panting to the point of wheezing. He turned on the spot and narrowly missed a passing vehicle. His body was pulled away from the road by Hakyeon; worried that he was completely and utterly disorientated. Hakyeon had grabbed him by the arms, hands curling over the man’s tense biceps but Taekwoon was still trying to twist his body free.

It was so unlike Taekwoon, thought Hakyeon, he was usually so controlled, what was wrong-  
  
Taekwoon looked up and over Hakyeon’s head, his eyes locking on to something. “Mate.” He had murmured, taking a step forward and made Hakyeon walk backward. He was using all his strength to hold Taekwoon back.  
  
“Taekwoon stop it, we’re in front of my work-”  
  
“ _Mate_.” Taekwoon growled, and the sound scared Hakyeon. He stared up at him as if seeing but not believing. His eyes were still stubbornly fixated on something over Hakyeon's head.  
  
“Mate?”  
  
Taekwoon’s hands were shaking and lifted to Hakyeon’s shoulder, pushing him away. Hakyeon stood in front of him again, and Taekwoon whined, lips pulling back into a grimace. “M-Mate… Soulmate… Soul…”  
  
“ _Soulmate_?” Hakyeon shrieked, finally looking behind him to see one of his students. It was the flower boy from one of his courses, brown hair falling just above his wide eyes. Lee Hongbin, a third year.

They made eye-contact and Hakyeon could feel Taekwoon shudder under his hands. “But he’s a _Beta_ -”  
  
“Soulmate.” Taekwoon _whimpered_ , a sound Hakyeon had never heard come out of Taekwoon before. It sounded like he was heartbroken. It hurt Hakyeon’s own heart, the familiar sting of pain made him wince.  
  
Judging by how Hongbin was shaking, he could feel it too, _knew_ it. His hand was fisting at the fabric around his chest as if his heart burned. Taekwoon went to take another step, eyes wide with desperation, but Hongbin flinched back and before they knew it, Hongbin had sprinted off like a frightened rabbit.  
  
“Soul…” Taekwoon winced as Hongbin disappeared around the corner. His body lurched, forward again, though by this time Hakyeon had him pinned up against the side of their car, eyes wide.  
  
“Taekwoon-” He said sternly, watching as the Alpha’s back pressed against the cold of the car, his chest panting heavily. “Taekwoon, calm down.”  
  
“Mate…” Taekwoon’s glazed eyes were slowly coming back to focus, especially now that Hongbin could no longer be seen. Coming to, his breath slowing down, his lips pressed together to gulp down breaths. He shuddered and his fingers curled into quivering fists.  
  
“Taekwoon.” Hakyeon stared at him, though it was so hard to ignore the flashbacks this gave him from his own experience. He only prayed that Taekwoon’s Soulbond would turn out better than his own.

Taekwoon had calmed down enough to be keeping eye-contact with Hakyeon. “I…”  
  
“He’s your Soulmate.” Hakyeon said quietly, but firmly. “He’s your Soulmate, and he’s one of my students, but he’s run away. He’s scared, so don’t... by any means, go after him. I’ll… see if I can talk to him, or something. You’ll meet, I promise, Soulbonds can’t be ignored.” He tried to give a reassuring smile, now guiding Taekwoon to sit back in his car.  
  
“Drive home. Breathe. Eat something, sleep.” Hakyeon said quietly, his face creased with concern as Taekwoon sat in the car, hands still clenching. He looked up at Hakyeon like a lost puppy, not the usual brooding Alpha. “Let me talk to him. He’s scared, he’s taking the Beta Pill, he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s Omega. If you see him something bad might happen-”  
  
Taekwoon was now coherent enough to speak, despite being breathy. His eyes were wide, innocent, like a small child. “But he’s my Soulmate.”  
  
“Do you want to upset him?”  
  
Taekwoon’s mouth closed immediately, lips pressing into a thin line as he forced himself to look away, starting up the car again.  
  
“I’ll see if I can come home earlier tonight. Jaehwan should be home--”  
  
“Wait--”  
  
Hakyeon just frowned, though seeing how innocent and pleading Taekwoon was, his face softened. “Mm?”  
  
“What’s his name?”  
  
Hakyeon just gave a gentle smile, eyes fond. “Lee Hongbin.”  
  
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon whispered in awe.

“Bye, Taekwoon.”  
  
Taekwoon nodded wordlessly, eyes returning to Hakyeon as he walked away. His trail of sight lifted over to where Hongbin had disappeared. Every atom in his body was compelling him to chase after the man, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.  
  
He doesn’t want to frighten Hongbin.  
  
_Hongbin._  
  
He’d only heard the name once, but he knew he’d never forget it.

  
  
  


 

  
_Soulmate_.  
  
Hongbin had run away, sprinted down the halls he usually couldn't walk slower down. The fear bubbled in his throat despite his entire body pleading to him. Some kind of magic was trying to pull him back to the man that Hongbin's mind could only describe as _Mate_. No, he didn't want this. He was on the Pill. This was meant to stop these kinds of things right? Hongbin staggered into the restroom, his long legs tumbling over each other as collapsed into a cubicle, locking the door shut. His knees gave way, him and his bag crashing onto the ground. He was wheezing, panting, his forehead on the cubicle door, his eyes watering. He didn't know what this was, but it itched under his skin, under his very own sub-consciousness.

He swivelled to the toilet to dry wretch over the seat, trembling. He hadn't forgotten to take the Pill. He'd distinctly remembered that he had taken it last night and this morning. So why did it feel like he was bonded to that stranger... that Alpha? He had heard, somehow, that quiet ' _Mate, Soulmate_ ," that the man had murmured as what had looked like Professor Cha holding him back. His teeth clenched, another shudder going through with him. Soulbonds were so rare that most people didn't bother with them, were happy to fall in love with whoever they desired, not let something like a rare opportunity for destiny to take its path. Hongbin felt sick. He was the last person to want to have this kind of destiny stamped upon him without a choice.  
  
_I'm not an omega._ Hongbin chanted to himself desperately, unable to see the ugly bathroom tile due to the welling of his tears. _I am a Beta, I am a Beta, I am a Beta._

It's the same thing he had been telling himself for years. 

His eyes squeezed shut, tears escaping through the corners of his eyes, his breathing only becoming more raggard, panicky. He turned, unzipping his bag suddenly and snatching his bottle of Beta Pills. He turned it to read the back label, almost dropping it from his shaking hands.

Better-B-Beta _should not be used during pregnancy or people with heart conditions, and should be avoided when taking other medication. Do not take more than prescribed by your doctor._ Better-B-Beta _only works on omegas who are not under Soulbonds, and are rendered ineffective in the presence of Soulmates. Side-effects include, nausea, headaches, drowsiness..._

Hongbin's hand was brought to his grimacing lips to muffle the wretched sob as he read that the Pill was ' _rendered ineffective in the presence of Soulmates'_. He felt ill. He couldn't do this, he wouldn't allow it. He doesn't want it-- he found himself unscrewing the cap of the Pills, putting one in his hand, though through his tears, then found three, four, popping them all in his mouth. Surely if he just took more, it could work on that man. They hadn't even met, only linked eyes, so why was his own subconscious yelling at him through the medication to run back to him? He found himself in a daze, losing count of how many Pills he consumed in his hysterical panic and slumped against the wall, glazed eyes and shuddering breaths.

To most people, a Soulbond was like a fantasy, a far-away dream that could only be lived through those sappy romance movies everyone cried over. Soulbonds were incredibly desirable, but to Hongbin, it was his worst nightmare.

 

  
  


Hakyeon had come home, slightly shaken at the least after finding one of his students not only missing from the Lecture Hall after sprinting off, but later found passed out in the bathroom. Hakyeon hadn't found him, but he had certainly seen the ambulance take him. He rubbed his face tiredly, a drawn out and exasperated sigh drawing from his lips as he took out the keys of their house, unlocking the door and shuffling in, closing the door softly behind him. He slung his shoulder bag off, dropping it lazily by his shoes as he slipped out of them.

Their house was deceptively big, more long than wide, and two stories. Outside, it didn't look like anything much; an old and oddly coloured (light blue, brown and white) terraced house, but it was homely. It wasn't perfect, crumbling and discoloured here and there and a plethora of climbing plants up the bricks but for Taekwoon, Hakyeon and for the majority of the time, Jaehwan, it was home.  
  
Hakyeon didn't know if it was because his Soulmate had died in the wild, but he was glad that they were now living in the city. He didn't think he would be able to return. Some people, like Hakyeon when he was younger, had the intrinsic desire to go back to their roots and form packs - usually wolves that still had the power to shift - and live in the wild, off the wild, and let their wolf instincts run free. Now, the high majority of people lived in urban areas, as the ability to shift into wolves had become much rarer. As Betas very rarely had the ability to shift, and as most of the population were Betas (the last Hakyeon heard, the percentage was about 60%), it was becoming more and more uncommon for people to return to the wild, where a city's laws could not be regulated.

Though of course, people often made packs in the city. Really, as there weren't territory wars or (at least as often) fights, city-dwellers began to look at them as families; however for all intents and purposes, it was a pack. Hakyeon and Taekwoon had returned to the city to get out. For a change, to heal from what had happened, but also avoid being under another Alpha. It had been two years, but sometimes it was like it had just happened yesterday for Hakyeon. Soulbonds were like that. Though lately, Taekwoon had been considering to begin a pack of his own in the city, Hakyeon and Jaehwan of course included, but with the new soulbond, Hakyeon wondered how that would affect Taekwoon's quiet aspirations.

Hakyeon made his way up the stairs, the croaking floorboards ruining the purpose of still wearing socks to quieten his footsteps, but a small part of him knew that Taekwoon would already be awake. Hongbin and Taekwoon hadn't officially bonded yet, they hadn't mated or claimed each other, but the link was definitely there. Now that they had - despite, rather, unofficially - met, Hakyeon wondered if Taekwoon could sense any of aspect of Hongbin’s current state of being.   
  
On the top step, he almost ran into Jaehwan, who looked a little distracted. Hakyeon looked up at him as they met eyes, he was smiling as always, though he seemed fidgety. Hakyeon's eyes glanced down at the rather messy apron Jaehwan was wearing.  
  
"Ah, hello, back from work?"  
  
"Mm." He gave a nod in affirmation. "Cooking?" Hakyeon asked quietly.  
  
"Baking," He gave a small smile, though his eyes didn't match the expression. They looked concerned, and Hakyeon supposed he knew the reason why. "Lots of baking."  
  
"You're stressed? Stress baking?"  
  
Jaehwan frowned, and his head motioned over towards where Taekwoon's room was, a hand raising to scratch the back of his head. "No, for Taekwoon. I just came up for Taekwoon. He hasn't eaten anything all day. Just been in bed staring at the walls when he hasn't been sleeping or drinking coffee. So I brought him up cookies." He gave a small grin, a little light in his eyes.  
  
Hakyeon gave a small, sad smile, sighed and looked down in thought.  After a small silence, Jaehwan gave a small frown. "Did Taekwoon... really meet his soulmate?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Yes, well, kind of?" Hakyeon frowned and looked over at Taekwoon's door. "His mate ran off before he could even introduce himself."  
  
"Oh..."  Jaehwan shoulders visibly slumped, squinting a little in thought. Then, he patted Hakyeon on the shoulder. "You should talk to him. I think he's been waiting for you."  
  
Hakyeon didn't really want to explain to Taekwoon that Hongbin went to hospital today, and his face must have shown the concern, as Jaehwan had him ruffling Hakyeon's hair with a small smile. Hakyeon found himself leaning into it before Jaehwan left, walking down the stairs and humming one of those advertisement jingles on television. Hakyeon sighed, running his hand through his hair before walking down the hallway. He slowly pushed open the door of Taekwoon's bedroom.

"Taekwoon?" Hakyeon said almost inaudibly as he opened the door.

Taekwoon had curled up on his bed, a king size that was quite low to the ground. His broad body was covered by a white sheet messily strewn around him as if he had restlessly rolled around in it. His hair was a mess. Taekwoon had faced away from the cookies and glass of milk placed on his bedside table, untouched. He looked horrible, and his heart gave an awful ache at the sight.

"Taekwoon?" Hakyeon repeated, and Taekwoon lurched at his voice, sitting up almost immediately. It had apparently made him nauseous as he clutched his head with both hands,  dipping his chin into his chest.

"If you're sick I can come back-"

"No." It was amazing how such a brooding and intense man could have such a quiet and soft voice. If not for how his alpha scent and aura practically dripped from him where he went, Hakyeon knew he wouldn't have been taken seriously. When they had been in the wild, some cocky wolves had underestimated him, though were quickly proven otherwise. Taekwoon patted the bed wordlessly for Hakyeon to sit, and he did so without question.

Slowly, Taekwoon looked up. He looked pale, squinting through long eyelashes, his fringe hanging just above his eyelids. Hakyeon gave a fond smile, before reaching over and taking a cookie, presenting it to him. Taekwoon moved his face away, frowning grumpily like a child.

"Eat." Hakyeon insisted. Taekwoon just flashed a glare at him and looked away once more. "Or I won't tell you how he is."

Taekwoon's breath hitched. He turned back, contemplating it before slowly taking the biscuit and taking a small bite. When the milk was presented to him as well, he gave another childish glare before sipping begrudgingly.

He put the milk back, though thumbed the edge of the cookie absent-mindedly. Hakyeon knew Taekwoon was waiting for him to say something, so he inhaled deeply before speaking.

"You haven't ... officially met, or touched him, or talked to him, or mated," Hakyeon began gently, face kind. "But are you able to pick up on Hongbin's emotional states?"

Taekwoon frowned before he replied. "I don't know,” He paused, glancing away. “It's strange." He said finally. "It's like a... bad radio reception. Static, but sometimes it's like I can tune in for a moment before it goes again. I think... it also influences... the way I feel. I don't know it's ... I don't know." He looked down, pressing his lips in a thin line.

Hakyeon looks down. "What emotions ... did you feel?"

"I felt... pathetic," He said quietly. "Hopelessness. Though I wasn't sure why, it just came from the static... I felt it suddenly." His eyes looked up, and the amount of concern in Taekwoon's usually intense gazes hurt him.

Hakyeon's eyes lowered. "No two Soulbonds are the same." He began. "Ra-- me and... him were able to speak with our minds, of sorts. Press images or memories into each other’s minds. Send calming visuals when either one of us was upset, for instance. The static would be because you haven't developed a relationship yet. Though this sounds similar to how it was for Ra... Ra..." Hakyeon stuttered, his eyes flitting to everything but Taekwoon and swallowing hard. It had been two years. Two years, and he still could so rarely say his name.

Taekwoon's hand rested on his forearm. "It's okay." Taekwoon whispered. Hakyeon felt like he wanted to cry. He wondered if there was ever a moment where he wouldn't burst into tears if he only allowed himself to dwell on those thoughts. Hakyeon gave Taekwoon a grateful smile, and sighed shakily before continuing.

"It sounds similar to how me and... and Ra.... _Ravi_ were. There were other things, of course, but at the moment we should focus on Hongbin."

Taekwoon's eyes widened a little when Hakyeon mentioned Ravi's name, and his head nodded jerkily when he mentioned Hongbin's. It was like Hongbin's name alone affected him like the person itself is, and Hakyeon could only smile a little wryly. He knew the feeling, even now.  
  
Hakyeon gave a small sigh. "Hongbin wasn't in class today," He began, eyes meeting Taekwoon's, having his undivided attention. "We found him in one of the bathroom cubicles. He'd taken too many Beta Pills at once and he'd passed out."  
  
Taekwoon paled, his eyes wide as he stared away. His fingers were twitching, as if holding himself back from getting up and sprinting to the hospital. Taekwoon's face usually showed little to no expression, but his eyes were so anxious his face didn't have to move to let Hakyeon know how he was feeling.  
  
"He's alright. He didn't take enough for it to be life-threatening. Beta Pills can't really kill you. I got a phone call before I left telling me he was being taken care of and that he'll be home tonight. He might not be at school for a few days." Hakyeon added quietly.  
  
"I caused this." Taekwoon murmured. Hakyeon frowned immediately, his hand taking Taekwoon's forearm and trying to squeeze it reassuringly. "It's my fault."  
  
"It's not. It's not you specifically. It could've been anyone. He's scared, I don't know of what specifically, but he's scared." Hakyeon sighed as Taekwoon's hands kept shaking.  
  
"It's my fault." He kept mumbling, and it was strange, seeing Taekwoon like this. He wondered what Taekwoon would be like around Hongbin, once they had mated, what Taekwoon was like with a Soulbond. He felt himself warm at the thought. Hakyeon thought to himself that Taekwoon would most likely be a wonderful soulmate. He was a good man. Though, right now, he couldn't seem to be calmed down.  
  
"His name is Lee Hongbin, he's a third-year taking Ancient History. He's specifically interested in European History, and is particularly fascinated in the Ancient Greeks and Romans. He's taking Latin. He's a good student, and he has a nice smile and-"  
  
"He's going to be okay?" Taekwoon asked, so quiet.  
  
Hakyeon nodded, smiling gently. "Hongbin will be fine." 

Taekwoon looked down and nodded, pink and curved lips pressing into a thin line in concern. Though when Hakyeon began to rub comforting circles into his back, he visibly relaxed, sighing slowly. "Sorry," He whispered, head hanging onto Hakyeon's shoulder. "You're probably the last person to want to talk about soulbonds."  
  
Hakyeon gave a small laugh, though there was only wry amusement. "You know I'd do anything for you." Hakyeon says quietly.  
  
Taekwoon hums in agreement, eyes flitting shut. "And I, you."

  
  
  
  
  
  


"You really didn't have to-"  
  
"Of course I did. You can't drive like this." Sanghyuk was supporting half of Hongbin's weight. Sanghyuk fumbled with the Hongbin's keys, opening Hongbin's dorm door for him. He had picked him up from the hospital, as he had visited as soon as he heard it had been Hongbin in the ambulance. Hongbin gave a half-hearted grumble of appreciation that Sanghyuk couldn't understand.

He slumped Hongbin onto the couch, whose limbs flopped like a doll. Sanghyuk slung Hongbin's bag off his shoulder too, then allowed himself to take off his shoes.  
  
“Won’t your mother be worried?” Hongbin asked, knowing that Sanghyuk’s mother would be more worried about his absence than his own with Hongbin being hospitalized.  
  
Sanghyuk put his shoes against the wall as he spoke. “Mum? She won’t know I’m gone, she’s back in hospital.” Sanghyuk gave a small, almost emotionless smile. Hongbin didn’t know whether his stomach churned from guilt or from taking so much medication.  
  
“Oh…” Hongbin’s jaw clenched as his eyes flickered away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”  
  
"That’s alright. Hungry?"  
  
"I just got my stomach pumped, Sanghyuk."  
  
Sanghyuk paled a little, looking away. "Well I dunno, I-"  
  
"I'm just tired." Hongbin said quietly, looking away. Sanghyuk hadn't asked any questions, though the way his mouth was hesitantly opening and clamping shut, Hongbin knew he wanted to. His dark circles weighed down his cheeks as he gazed tiredly up at them. "What?"  
  
"Stomach pumped... of what?"  
  
Hongbin's lips pressed into a thin line. He didn't want Sanghyuk to know. He didn't want anyone to know. He couldn't. He wouldn't. "I took too much of something I shouldn't have."  
  
"Oh." Sanghyuk said quietly, though frowned at the fact he hadn't been given a proper answer. "But you're going to be okay, right?"  
  
"I suppose so." He said quietly. "They wouldn't of discharged me otherwise."  
  
"Right." Sanghyuk nodded, mostly to himself. He seemed relieved and Hongbin gave a small smile.  
  
"Thanks, Sanghyuk."  
  
"Hey, don't mention it." He looked almost sheepish.  Hongbin offered a small smile in return, looking up into Sanghyuk's eyes and found nothing but concern for him. A pang of guilt hit his chest and Hongbin sighed. Sanghyuk was a good friend, but he was scared to tell him. He began to fidget, the corner of his mouth turning down in concern. Sanghyuk sat down on the couch next to him, head craning to look into Hongbin's eyes.  
  
"We haven't been friends for that long," He admitted. "But you can trust me, okay? Who am I even going to tell?" 

Sanghyuk gave a smile that was probably meant to comfort Hongbin. It didn't. Sanghyuk could tell anyone. Words were heard, spread. The safest place for a secret was in the keeper's mind. It also wasn't the matter of people knowing as much as that people would treat him different. Would Sanghyuk treat him different, if he knew he was an omega? See him as a lesser being, an object of desire? Hongbin's throat went dry at the thought. An alpha might be kind, but to Hongbin, the beast was there. Was always there. He couldn't trust any of them. Not one, and yet Sanghyuk was looking at him with eyes that seemed so genuine.  
  
"Hongbin..." Sanghyuk said quietly, as if choosing his words carefully. His eyes flitted away briefly before returning to him. "Are you an omega?"

Hongbin flinched and hated himself for it. He looked away, his throat coming out croaky as he choked out a "N-no."

Sanghyuk sighed. "There's nothing to be ashamed of--"  
  
"You don't know what it's _like_." Hongbin hissed, looking up at Sanghyuk with more malice than intended. Seeing Sanghyuk frown made him duck his head a little in apology, grimacing a little. He took a deep breath before he felt like he could continue. "Everyone looks at you as if you're some kind of... sexual object. I hate it. I'm not... not just something to mate. I'm not weak. Just because I'm an omega doesn't mean I'm submissive and defenseless. Some kind of... pathetic damsel who needs an alpha to protect me."  
  
"I don't think you're-"  
  
"When I'm on the Beta Pill," Hongbin interrupted, voice shaky. "People treat me as if I'm human, like I'm an equal. Not the way I smell or my wolf caste, but my personality. Who I am. Like they should."  
  
He could barely look through his tears, his cheeks hurting from grimacing. "I didn't want anyone to know. But now I know that I have a Soulmate, I swallowed as many pills as I can. I wanted to hide it. I don't want a Soulbond, Sanghyuk. I don't want it. I thought if I took enough he wouldn't be able to tell next time he saw me, I-I'm... I'm..." He had begun to sob, his chest heaving in ragged breaths, wheezing and shaking as he inhaled. As he looked down at his hands, hot tears fell upon them, his vision blurry. "I'm doomed. Everything is going to go to shit, and I know it. I _know_ it."  
  
Sanghyuk’s eyes widened at the mention of a Soulbond and a Soulmate, but then his eyebrows dipped in concern, voice going to that of a soft tone. The pitiable tone. The same tone Hongbin’s mother used when she knew she was about to say something he didn’t like. "Hongbin..."

"Don’t … don't tell me otherwise. I'll have to meet him eventually, and he'll expect me to be a good little omega." He gave a wry laugh that ended in a whimper.

"You don't know that--"  
  
"All alphas are the same." Hongbin cut off abruptly, looking down at his hands.  
  
There was a pause. "Do you think I'm... like that?"  
  
Hongbin said nothing, and instead shot him a look that made Sanghyuk's jaw clench and look away. There was a small silence, in which Hongbin wiped his tears, now feeling more relaxed than before. He gave a shuddering breath.  
  
"I like Sanghyuk, not the alpha inside you." Hongbin said quietly.  
  
"And I like Hongbin, and I like you for you, not because of your wolf caste." Sanghyuk offered a small smile, in which Hongbin offered a smaller one. "And if I ever do something or say something stupid, hit me. I'm a late bloomer and I... really can't help it sometimes. Really."  
  
"You won't have any problems anyway, but if you do, I will." Hongbin replied with a small smile, but then he sighed. "I'll still be on the Beta Pill."  
  
Sanghyuk nodded.  
  
"Will you keep my secret? About being an omega?" Hongbin asked in a small voice, worried what Sanghyuk will do with this information.  
  
Sanghyuk blinked in surprise, jerking back a little. "What? Of course."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
Sanghyuk smiled, raising a pinky finger up in the air. Hongbin smiled despite his watery cheeks. Sanghyuk could be so childish. He raised his hand, curling his pinky around Sanghyuk's and holding it there. "Promise."

  


 

“How are you feeling?” Sanghyuk asked a couple of days later, setting down the bags of food he’d bought for Hongbin. Hongbin was sitting on the couch, a blanket draped around his shoulders as if he had a cold, not an unwanted soulbond. He had hardly acknowledged Sanghyuk even when he let himself in. Eventually, Hongbin looked up at him and squinted. It was if he were frowning through a headache. Hongbin mulled the question over.  
  
“Hungry.” He decided, and Sanghyuk grinned and collapsed on the couch beside him, opening a bag of crisps and nudging Hongbin in the ribcage perhaps a little too hard: Sanghyuk didn’t know his own strength. Hongbin jerked, but perked up at the smell, looking over as he dipped his bag into the packet and then ate his crisps slowly. Sanghyuk watched him, how his eyes appeared dazed, not truly being able to focus. It was the third night since his encounter with his Soulmate, and when Hongbin wasn’t emotional, he was dazedly quiet and absent-minded. When he was like this, Sanghyuk knew he couldn’t mention anything about the Soulbond, otherwise he might trigger Hongbin’s anxiety. So all he could do was to be there for him.  
  
Sanghyuk blinked over to the television, which Hongbin had been watching. “Oh, it’s a music show. B1A4?”  
  
Hongbin nodded, and Sanghyuk gave a sly grin. “Gongchan?”  
  
Hongbin nodded again, but not before sliding him a small glare. Sanghyuk snorted: ah, there was the old Hongbin.  

Sanghyuk preferred girl groups personally, but he didn’t mind the boy idols either. Omega idols in general, Sanghyuk found himself liking subconsciously. Sanghyuk couldn’t think about the omega idols for long, otherwise he’d feel his wolf instinct want to kick in. He had to try to control it, he mentally reminded himself as he uncomfortably shifted on the couch. Returning his attention back to Hongbin, Sanghyuk eyed him, a smug grin on his face.  
  
“He looks cute.” Sanghyuk tried to bait his weakened friend. Hongbin’s cheeks were growing warm, and so he snatched the chip packet from Sanghyuk’s fingers, stuffing his face with more crisps.  
  
Seeing Hongbin inhale a whole chip packet, he asked quietly: “When did you last eat?”  
  
Hongbin blinked, frowning again as he looked down at his fingers, contemplating. “Yesterday.”  
  
“Hongbin, it’s dinner time.” Sanghyuk sighed, slumping his shoulders a little. Hongbin looked a little guilty as Sanghyuk then stood, walking over to the kitchen. “Come on, I’ll make you something.”  
  
Hongbin found the will to stand up, bringing the blankets with him, not caring in the slightest as it dragged across the carpet and against the heels of his feet.  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He leant against the counter, his hands gripping the edge and sighing. “Resisting the magic for a whole week… it’s hard. I can’t keep up like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags: Leo/Hongbin, angsty Hongbin, angsty Taekwoon, supportive Hyuk, supportive Hakyeon. THE SOULBOYS SUFFER 
> 
> That's basically this chapter in a nutshell.
> 
> As always, you can ask questions/contact me on my [ask.fm!](https://ask.fm/xfaunalyn)

  


As predicted, Lee Hongbin was absent from both lectures and tutorials for three days. Well, a whole week. Hakyeon had sent him a couple of emails, though stopped since he had begun to sound like a concerned mother.   
  
"Professor Cha."   
  
"Hm?" Hakyeon looked up over his glasses - that were only for show actually, not that his students knew that. It was Sanghyuk, the alpha that seemed to refused to stop growing. He had taken Latin as an optional subject.   
  
"Hongbin... is going to come to university tomorrow." Sanghyuk said this a little hesitantly, as if he wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Hakyeon's eyes widened, sitting back a little.   
  
"Is that so? Is he alright?"   
  
"Yeah, kinda..." Sanghyuk idly shifted his weight on either foot, wondering if he should say something or not. Hakyeon looked at him patiently through his glasses, mulling things over himself. He knew that Hongbin and Sanghyuk were friends, but now knowing that Hongbin was an omega, he wondered if there had been anything between them.

Sanghyuk’s alpha scent was fresh and raw, seeped from him without provocation. Hakyeon knew that Sanghyuk would probably still have trouble keeping the Wolf under wraps. Late bloomers were particularly unpredictable, Hakyeon had seen it a lot in the wild. Though, his train of thought was interrupted as Sanghyuk seemed to decide to leave, turning on his heel. However he stopped to grab an empty chair from the front row, picking it up and placing it in front of Hakyeon’s desk. Sanghyuk then lowered himself onto it, obviously nervous. Hakyeon put his pen down, his fingers knotted by his lap as he swung a leg over another, giving Sanghyuk his undivided attention.  
  
“Professor Cha, I…” Sanghyuk frowned. “I want to talk to you. Can we talk? Are you busy?”   
  
Hakyeon just smiled a little, cheeks raising. He thought Sanghyuk was endearing. “Well you have already taken a seat, so I don’t see why not.”   
  
Sanghyuk flushed a little, and Hakyeon caught himself smiling at him. It was an odd feeling.   
  
“Well, uh… Hongbin told me yesterday, he saw you uh… outside the school, the day he was hospitalized…” Sanghyuk was obviously hesitant about his words, treading carefully, and he hastily cleared his throat.   
  
Hakyeon blinked, his face dawning in realisation. “Ah.”   
  
“Do you know… ?”   
  
“That Hongbin is an omega? Yes.” Hakyeon said quietly, suddenly very glad for the fact that the lecture hall was empty. It was not polite to talk about a person’s Wolf Caste if they had chosen to keep it hidden. However, Sanghyuk visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping to the point that Hakyeon wondered just how tense he had been.   
  
“Okay…” Sanghyuk swallowed, nodding. “He’d told me not to tell anyone, but if you already know, then I’m not breaking my promise.” His eyes flickered up to the Professor, who was giving a small smile, as if he thought Sanghyuk was _cute_. Sanghyuk huffed haughtily, eyes widening as he almost squeaked. “I don’t like breaking my promises!”   
  
Hakyeon’s eyes flashed in amusement. “I understand, go on.”   
  
Sanghyuk nodded, sliding Hakyeon half a glare as if he didn’t want to be rushed, his cheeks slightly pink. “You were restraining Hongbin’s Soulmate, right? His Soulmate… to-be.”   
  
Hakyeon nodded slowly. “Are you asking this because Hongbin wanted you to ask? Or -”   
  
“No, no,” Sanghyuk interrupted, shaking his head. “He wants me to forget about it, he’d kill me if I knew I was talking to you about it. I think he wants to forget about the Soulbond himself. He doesn’t want it, but, you can’t… ignore a Soulbond right? That’s magic. Once you know who your Soulmate is… isn’t it… kinda like end game? You can’t… stop magic once it intervenes right?”   
  
Hakyeon nodded, his face falling a little. “Right. It’s not something you can control or stop.”   
  
“So… Hongbin is going to have to face him… sooner or later. He can’t keep running.” It was more a statement than a question, but Hakyeon nodded regardless: confirming it. Sanghyuk sighed, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted. His voice went quiet. “So… you know him, the Soulmate, right?”   
  
“Yes. I have known him for a long time.”   
  
Sanghyuk met Hakyeon’s eyes, and the latter was surprised by the amount of concern they showed. “Is… Is he a good man?”   
  
Hakyeon blinked, though then his face softened, a fond smile spreading across his face. “He’s the best man I know alive.” He replied, quietly and deeply sincere.   
  
Sanghyuk smiled, at that, the corners of his lips pulling up a little as he nodded. “Good, I’m… I’m really glad.”   
  
“He’s scared, isn’t he?” Hakyeon said softly.   
  
“Terrified.” Sanghyuk nodded, smiling ruefully. “He’s… he’s…” He knew he was going into what would be considered too personal to be talking about, but Sanghyuk forced himself to say it. If Hakyeon knew Hongbin’s Soulmate, surely he’d be able to help out. To stop Hongbin from suffering. “... He hates being an omega. There’s a lot of self-loathing inside him. He hates alphas too, I… I’m worried about him. He locked himself in his apartment for a whole week and I visited everyday, checking up on him. Resisting magic it’s… it’s not good for you.”   
  
Hakyeon leant forward, hands resting on the desk before him, voice quiet. “I know you’re concerned, but with things like this, don’t push him. You can’t. In this situation, Hongbin himself is the person who has to say that he wants to meet his Soulmate, and only then, is it okay.”   
  
Sanghyuk nodded, eyes wide. “Of course -”   
  
“Don’t tell him that we discussed this. Thank you for telling me, however. I plan on talking to him, since I… I think we have a lot in common.” Hakyeon smiled, but Sanghyuk thought it looked rather sad.   
  
However, Sanghyuk blinked at the Professor’s words. “A… lot in common? But you’re a Beta…” His voice trailed off in confusion, but noticed where Hakyeon’s head tilted to: towards a small bottle just beside his folders. A Beta Pill bottle.   
  
“Hongbin isn’t the only one taking them.” Hakyeon said quietly, and Sanghyuk’s face fell in realisation.   
  
“Oh…” Sanghyuk then seemed to pick himself up, nodding. “Okay. Then… then I’ll let you talk to him. I’ll just…”   
  
“Just make sure he’s okay, and looking after himself.” Sanghyuk nodded at his Professor’s words as he stood.   
  
“Thanks, Professor Cha.” He said quietly, bowing before leaving.   
  
Hakyeon watched his frame fumble up and out, as if his mind was still catching up with his growth spurt, watching Sanghyuk’s back with fondness.

  


  


 

Taekwoon had been working at Jaehwan’s cafe to pass the time. He’d found, after the first couple of days of trying to deal with the magic strain, laying in bed was no longer going to help. Being alone to his own thoughts seemed to be counter productive, as being alone with his emotions, undistracted, meant that he had to deal with Hongbin’s (the connection still fuzzy and unstable) emotions as well. While he was concerned for his Soulmate, what frustrated him the most was that Taekwoon couldn’t do anything, because he wouldn’t force anything onto him. Onto Hongbin. Hongbin. It was like his very name had him stop what he’s doing to recover.   
  
Jaehwan had noticed that Taekwoon had been distracted, absent-minded. He’d been pulled away from the cash register as he had just found himself staring blankly at it in front of a customer.

Hongbin’s emotions pressed into him suddenly, and the surge of frustration completely distracted him and pulled him away from his surroundings. 

He remembered Hakyeon telling him, as he sat down behind the counter and began to pour bowls of dry food for the kittens, that Hakyeon and Ravi could send thoughts, memories, images, into each other’s minds. Taekwoon wondered, even though they hadn’t mated, if he could do that, send comforting emotions or images over to him. He wondered if Hongbin was okay.   
  
“Taekwoon, you’re overflowing the bowls. They’re only kittens. They won’t eat it all.” Jaehwan said, frowning a little, though his voice had traces of amusement. Taekwoon flinched, looking down and noticing the kibble had begun to topple over the edges of the bowls, muttering an apology as he tried to scoop some kibble back into the bag. Jaehwan had looked around, seeing there were no customers that needed assistance, and then proceeded to sit down with Taekwoon. He helped him clean up the mess as kittens had begun to waddle their way over at the smell of food.   
  
“This Soulbond is getting to you, huh?” Jaehwan said quietly, picking up a kitten as it gave a small squeak in protest.   
  
“Mm, it’s hard to live with … when you’re separated from them.” Taekwoon replied quietly, absent-mindedly rubbing a kitten behind its ear as he talked. “The magic is beginning to strain on me physically too, my body isn’t taking it well.”   
  
“Do you think Hongbin is picking up your emotions too?” Jaehwan asked, eyes wide, sitting cross-legged before him.   
  
“Maybe. But then, he might not know they’re my emotions…” Taekwoon frowned, the corners of his lips simultaneously curling down.   
  
Jaehwan’s mouth twisted in thought. “Well, if it turns out that I can do anything for you, just ask, okay?” He then smiled, a little hopeful, and the sight relaxed Taekwoon some as he nodded. Jaehwan had always seemed to have this ability to change the mood of a conversation, to easily provoke people into a calm or happy state. Taekwoon had wondered before if that could also extend to making people angry or upset, but the man who was currently playing with two kittens before him seemed like he would never want to in the first place.     
  
“You should bring him here.” Jaehwan said thoughtfully. “The kittens might make him feel more at home.”   
  
Taekwoon just gave a soft smile and looked down, but found himself considering it.   


  
  
  
  
  


“Welcome home.” Taekwoon’s voice rang out as he heard Hakyeon dump his bag onto the ground by his kicked-off shoes. It was something the man did everyday, a moment of familiarity that made Taekwoon smile fondly to himself as he heard Hakyeon’s footsteps coming down the hallway.   
  
“Thanks,” Hakyeon replied belatedly, looking down at the pasta Taekwoon was currently stirring. “Smells good. Is Jaehwan home?”   
  
“He’s locking up shop. He sent me home…” His voice trailed off as he began to cut mushrooms. “I think I was a burden.” He added, not looking up at Hakyeon.   
  
Hakyeon leant against the black counter, pale blue dress pants complementing the slender curve of his hip. His white dress shirt had begun to pull out from under his pants. He crossed his arms and looked at Taekwoon in concern, though his fingers quivered as he tucked them into his arms. It was like Hakyeon was holding himself together.   
  
Taekwoon sighed before he elaborated. “I kept becoming absent-minded. I couldn’t think straight. I’d completely zone out in front of customers.” Taekwoon stood straighter, frowning at himself. The knife slipped out of his fingers. He leant against the counter, his hands gripping the edge and sighing. “Resisting the magic for a whole week… it’s hard. I can’t keep up like this.”     
  
“You’re lucky that you’re not mated,” Hakyeon mumbled softly, eyes falling from Taekwoon’s face to his shoulder. “A week without seeing your Soulmate is unbearable.”   
  
“Mm,” Taekwoon only nodded, the heel of his palms now against his eyes. It was obvious his mind was occupied with other things.   
  
“Are you still picking up his emotions?” Hakyeon asked, eyes flitting up.   
  
“Yes.” Taekwoon finally looked up, his frown seemingly permanently etched on his face. Hakyeon really didn’t think it suited him. “I’m worried about him. When I… I do tune in to his emotions, it’s only… negative emotion. Dread, worry, fear, it’s like … he’s afraid of me.”   
  
Hakyeon nodded slowly, knowing this for a fact now. Taekwoon had slowly returned to chopping up the vegetables, as if to distract himself from his thoughts.   
  
“What can I do?” Taekwoon’s voice was desperate, pitching high at the end like a child. His voice was barely heard over the knife slicing and hitting against the chopping board, harder and less precise as Taekwoon’s emotions bubbled inside him. “I can’t do anything, I can’t see him, I can’t talk to him, I can’t… reassure him.”   
  
Taekwoon began to get a little shaky, his fingers unstable. Hakyeon pulled against Taekwoon’s forearm, guiding him away from the kitchen with a small sigh. Taekwoon’s breath had become audible, almost raspy as he was sat down onto one of the chairs at the dining table that Hakyeon had pulled out for him wordlessly. Hakyeon then pulled up his own chair, sitting in front of him and clutching Taekwoon’s hands.   
  
“Taekwoon.” Hakyeon began, trying to look into the man’s eyes. Taekwoon seemed adamant at keeping his eyes down onto their hands. “Can you feel his emotions now?”   
  
Taekwoon nodded. “He’s scared.”   
  
“That’ll be because he’s going to school tomorrow--” He raised a finger as Taekwoon looked up, alarmed, halting whatever Taekwoon was going to do. “I want you to concentrate on those emotions. Mentally grab them. Imagine a hand taking them. Don’t let them slip through your fingers.”   
  
Taekwoon nodded, looking down, squeezing his eyes shut. Once his shaking lessened, Hakyeon slid a thumb across Taekwoon’s hand in soothing strokes. “Now, think about Hongbin and press the emotion you wish to give him instead. The thought of the emotion, the idea of it. It won’t be easy as you’ve barely bonded yet.”   
  
“I’m trying.” Taekwoon whispered, and Hakyeon leant over a little, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead as if to calm him like a mother would with a child.   
  
“I know. Keep going until the feeling fades or lessens.”   
  
Taekwoon just nodded, and the two sat for some time, Hakyeon like a statue compared to Taekwoon’s quivering stature. After a few moments, Taekwoon visibly relaxed, his fingers that had been digging small crescents into Hakyeon’s hand loosened. Hakyeon raised his head, looking at Taekwoon softly as he seemed to regulate his breathing, inhaling deep, extended breaths.   
  
“It’s gone. I think he’s alright.” Taekwoon’s tiny voice whispered, his face creased in anguish. He shivered, as if he had realised that night had fallen, that the temperature had dropped. It was like he had spent all his energy on making sure Hongbin had some kind of peace of mind. Hakyeon smiled softly, his fingers running through Taekwoon’s hair as the latter breathed a thank you.   
  
“Go and sit down on the couch. I’ll continue the dinner.”   
  
Taekwoon looked up at Hakyeon, as if about to protest, but with a small moment of eye contact, he sighed, staring down and nodded in defeat.   
  
“Come on.”   
  
Hakyeon held his hand, leading Taekwoon to the couch as if he were a child. Hakyeon sat him down in front of the television and even pulled a blanket over his lap. Taekwoon shot him a glare, one that told Hakyeon to _‘stop babying me.’_ Hakyeon just smiled, beautiful but sad, the one Taekwoon was used to. The alpha watched Hakyeon leave as his eyes slowly went to the television.   
  
By the time Hakyeon came back with the bowl of pasta, Taekwoon had slumped against the arm of the couch, head nestled into one of the cushions, sound asleep. Hakyeon wrapped the bowl in cling-wrap after he had pulled on another blanket onto Taekwoon’s limp body, glad that he was finally getting rest.   
  


  
 

  
  
Hongbin had felt sick looking at the amount of chapters he’d missed out on on his textbooks. There were words in Latin that he hadn’t even learned, and while Sanghyuk kept him up to date with his classes, there had been an uncomfortable feeling lingering in his stomach. He had taken a week break from his part-time work at the nearby fast-food restaurant, knowing he had just enough to cover himself for at least a week, but the fact he was neither going to work or school was horrible for his work ethic.   
  
He knew he couldn’t run for much longer. Magic wasn’t something you could avoid, he knew that, but he had already begun to wake up with cold sweats. The instinctive desire to run out of the house was beginning to become unbearable and he was fighting the pull towards wherever his subconscious told him to go. Sometimes, he felt unbearably numb, his heart weighing heavily in his chest, his bones feeling as if they weighed twice the amount they were supposed to. He knew, looking down at the page of his empty notepad, that if he let himself walk out of the house, the bond magic would be able to pull his instinct and bee-line towards the man that he was apparently destined with. His _Soulmate._ He grimaced at the thought, dropping his pen as his fingers fell lax, burying his head in his hands for what seemed like the upteenth time.   
  
It was beginning to hurt, strain him mentally, physically, spiritually. He had begun to get chest pains, like his ribcage were beginning to curl into his lungs. He couldn’t do this much for much longer, he knew it, hated it. He didn’t want this. Hongbin found himself in another shaking episode of anxiety, pulling at his hair, his waterlines _burning_ by now with how much he had cried.   
  
His long limbs found themselves fumbling back onto his bed, his sanctuary. He huddled under his blankets, pretending it was his own personal force field. In the blankets, cocooned like some kind of caterpillar, he was safe like this, he told himself. Happy.   
  
Who was he kidding.

He was crying, shivering. His hot tears soaking his blankets that his head had bowed into. He was scared. So scared. Scared that this man that he was meant to mate with could be controlling, dominating, cruel. That he'd expect Hongbin to submit, to change, to drop everything for him, change the future that Hongbin had planned for himself. Sanghyuk had told him that his Soulmate was destined for him, made for him, so he’d have to be suited to his tastes, like some kind of Perfect Boyfriend Machine.  
  
Hongbin didn’t need him at all. He didn’t want to know who the man was. He didn’t want to know what he was like. He curled into ball, hugging himself under the blankets. His fingers gripped his shirt painfully hard, fingernails digging into the skin underneath.  “I don’t want this.” He moaned to himself. He didn’t want to find out what the man was like, he didn’t want to see him again. He wanted the magic to go away, to leave him alone, to leave his head alone.   
  
He was scared, he was so scared… he was…   
  
Hongbin’s breathing began to slow down, his fingers loosening from bunching up the fabric of his shirt. It was like he had taken emotional pain killers, the negative feelings beginning to slowly ebb away.   
  
He was … relaxing.   
  
His muscles wound down, sinking into the mattress. It was strange. He’d just been so distraught, so why, _how_ had he relaxed? He sniffled. It was like he couldn’t even get himself to be upset, the calming feeling overriding the anxiety that had been rattling his bones. It was as if he had taken a sedative.   
  
He was hearing a voice within his head that wasn’t his, repeating as if some kind of soft, gentle chant. The voice was so light, feathery, a repetitive lullaby. _You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Rest. Sleep well._ It seemed almost melodic, and Hongbin couldn’t help but to think he’s heard it before. Maybe it was from a movie he watched as a child. Maybe something from a dream.

Hongbin’s eyes were burning, sore from crying, finding that it was all too easy to comply and close his eyes. His head turned into the pillow, exhaling slowly into it... The absence of negative emotion was strange, but Hongbin was glad for the final peace of mind.   
  
Then, finally, he fell asleep.

  



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin hung his head, his hands covering his eyes that had begun to burn with tears. Crying: always crying. “What do you know, how the fuck do you know what I’m going through.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Panic Attacks, Emo Hongbin making Hakyeon Emo, Everybody's Emo

Hongbin woke up to his alarm, woke up to the sound of _responsibilities_ as his limbs found will to move and halt the continuous ringing to silence. Groaning into his pillow, he realised what the alarm meant, eyes gazing over his bed and squinted over at the calendar where Sanghyuk had circled today’s date with an obnoxiously pink highlighter and multiple exclamation marks.   
  
As Hongbin rolled out of bed, he knew down to his very bones the reason he was standing was because he’d promised Sanghyuk. Promised Sanghyuk that he’d go back to university, and he was an utter fool for doing so. He scowled, throwing his shirt over his head and taking a long-sleeved one, checking the striped pattern for stains before he hung it over his arm and finding some pants on the way to the shower.   
  
Finding the will later to make himself some toast, he sat at the counter, rubbing his eyes as he read the morning news on his tablet, not that he was really taking in much. He had packed his bag, his pill bottle next to him in a reminder to take them before he left. His bones had begun to ache in away that Hongbin didn’t know what was causing it. It wasn’t his muscles that were sore as if he’d slept in an odd position or done a lot of exercise, but his _bones._ Hongbin hadn’t done any biology study since high school, but he was pretty sure there were no nerve endings in bones. Maybe he’d ask Sanghyuk about it.   
  
There was a knock - well, Hongbin was inclined to say it was someone trying to smash the door with their fist - and Hongbin flinched. Seeing the distorted silhouette, he sighed, sliding off the seat and padding over, opening the door and already craning his neck up in expectation to the man’s height.   
  
“Hongbin!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, and Hongbin almost cringed as Sanghyuk took his shoulders, beaming at him. “You even got dressed! I thought I’d have to pick you up out of bed.”   
  
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Hongbin mumbled, but Sanghyuk just grinned and Hongbin felt like he wouldn’t be able to remain sour at him for long.   
  
“I’m glad though. You’ve had breakfast?”   
  
Hongbin nodded, and Sanghyuk glanced at his phone, brushing past Hongbin as he walked into the house. “Oh, we better get going. The traffic can be bad at this hour.”   
  
Hongbin glanced over a little incredulously as Sanghyuk picked up his bag for him. “You’re driving me?”   
  
Sanghyuk gazed up from his phone, a grin spreading across his face as he pressed Hongbin’s bag against his chest. “Of course, especially if it means you’re definitely going to school today.” He then nodded very seriously.   
  
Hongbin slid him a glare as he was escorted out of his own home, his bag bundled up in his arms. He smiled a little though, as Sanghyuk wrapped an arm around his shoulders fondly as they walked to the car. He began to talk about things Hongbin, frankly, wasn’t too interested about. He elbowed him in the ribs to to break out of the Sanghyuk’s hold and climbed into the car.   
  
Sanghyuk was still talking as he put his keys into the ignition and began to steer onto the road. “... and then that guy was ordered to leave the Lecture Hall, cool, huh? Professor Cha can be really authoritative when he wants to be. He’s kinda cool.”   
  
Hongbin was only half-listening, gazing away as he put his bag at his feet. After awhile, he sighed, frowning to himself as he watched buildings pass his window. “Hey, Sanghyuk…”   
  
“I mean, he’s really kind, but also has that kinda unpredictability, you know? It makes him kinda h- yeah?”   
  
Hongbin looked over slowly as Sanghyuk drove.  “My body aches.”   
  
Sanghyuk frowned, glancing over at Hongbin before his eyes returned to the road. “Why, did you sleep funny?”   
  
“No, it’s… it’s not my muscles it’s… my bones.”   
  
“Your bones?”   
  
“Yeah, it’s like they rattle inside, sometimes they feel numb, either way it… it doesn’t feel good…” He sighed, readjusting himself on the seat. Sanghyuk sighed audibly, suddenly looking hesitant. Hongbin frowned, raising an eyebrow.   
  
“Well, Hongbin… you know…”   
  
“Know what?”   
  
“It’s probably the magic. Your magic is affecting your body now too, since you’ve been resisting it for so long.”   
  
Hongbin’s teeth clenched together. He looked down at his hands, saying quietly: “Well, the magic can go fuck itself.”   
  
Sanghyuk blinked, glancing over at Hongbin whose eyes were hard and almost angry; Sanghyuk had never known Hongbin the type to swear, and didn’t know how to reply. Luckily, he didn’t really have to, as they were at their destination, Sanghyuk pulled his car up a block away to avoid having to pay for parking. Hongbin, a little amused by the thought, found the tension in his muscles melt away.   
  
They began to walk into the university together, his backpack a familiar weight on his shoulders. Sanghyuk was unusually quiet, which was usually somewhat of a blessing to Hongbin, though Sanghyuk’s troubled expression irked him a little. “Are you alright, Sanghyuk?”   
  
“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”   
  
“Thinking… about what?”   
  
“I want a smoothie.” Sanghyuk muttered, eyes flitting towards the cafeteria, and Hongbin gave a small smile of amusement. Their eyes then met and Sanghyuk gave a smile. He glanced down at the time on his phone, and nodded to himself. “We’ve got time. Do you want me to buy you the Mocha one you like? You know, in celebration that you’re back at school.”   
  
He nudged Hongbin playfully in the arm, though Hongbin only blinked, and with generous curiosity, asked: “You can afford it? Usually you’re so frugal since when spending your mother’s money…” It was partially why he was surprised Sanghyuk volunteered to pick him up; he barely drove to save on petrol. His mother had wanted him to focus on his studies, and even though she was much too sick to work herself, gave Sanghyuk allowances from her savings so he could live comfortably. The way Sanghyuk’s eyes shuttered as if about to close Hongbin off made Hongbin grip Sanghyuk’s arm. “You’re… you’re not working, are you?”   
  
Sanghyuk frowned, looking down. “It’s just at a corner store. A couple of days a week. The pay is decent.” He was mumbling, somewhat resigned, his hands slipping into his pockets.   
  
“But your mother-”   
  
“I can’t keep… spending my mother’s money. I can’t, I… she’s not getting any better, Hongbin, the worse she gets the more I just… simply can’t do it. This way I can buy her things, too. Make her smile, even if it’s for a little while.”   
  
Hongbin’s hand slipped from Hongbin’s arm, his eyes lowering a little before looking back at him again. His voice went raspy as the saliva fled from his mouth.  “Your mother…”   
  
“...Doesn’t have long to live.” Sanghyuk said quietly, and Hongbin wondered if it was the first time Sanghyuk had admitted it to himself outloud.   
  
The corner of Hongbin’s lips curled down and his gaze lowered, not knowing what to say. His hair was then rustled. Hongbin blinked up through his now-dishevelled fringe to see Sanghyuk putting on a smile, though they both knew it was mostly bravado. “Let me shout you, just this once.” Hongbin’s face softened at his words, and nodded.   
  
  


  


  
They had finished their drinks by the time they had to go into the lecture, sliding into their usual seat as Hongbin took a notepad out. Sanghyuk did the same, a smile sneaking across his lips as he swayed in his seat a little. “It’s nice having you back here. I was beginning to feel lonely.”   
  
“We only have one lecture together. I wasn’t there for one day.” Hongbin grumbled, squinting at him, though Sanghyuk only grinned at him.   
  
“Are you going back to work soon?” Sanghyuk asked, fingers twiddling his pacer, only to realise it needed refilling.   
  
Sanghyuk leant down to his bag to get his pacer refills as Hongbin replied casually.  “Yeah, I have a shift this week. I can’t afford to not work for too long.”   
  
Sanghyuk nodded once his face reappeared from under the desk. He began to slip the stick of lead into the mechanical pencil when Professor Cha entered the room, the usual binder tucked under his arm. Hongbin flinched as the lead snapped under Sanghyuk’s fingers.   
  
“Be careful.” Hongbin mumbled, picking up one of the fragments and rolling it between his fingers, though Sanghyuk didn’t respond. Hongbin blinked up, raising an eyebrow to see Sanghyuk’s eyes transfixed on his lecturer. Hongbin frowned, wondering what Sanghyuk was looking at, but there was hardly anything off that he could see. Professor Cha’s white pants hung snugly at his hips, his black dress-shirt tucked in smartly. Professor Cha always seemed to put effort into his appearance, especially compared to other Lecturers. Hongbin had one that came in singlets and sandals (with socks; even for Hongbin who didn’t care too much about fashion, it irked him), though that teacher went for a more casual approach.

Everything about Professor Cha seemed professional; like he’d graduated from a well-known university - at least, one probably better than this one - lived his life in the city, like a respectable adult. The Professor smiled at them all as he said hello, his eyes seeming to sparkle in greeting underneath the dark round frames of his glasses. It was standard, something he did every week, yet Sanghyuk was acting _weird_. Gawking. Hongbin pulled a face, nudging Sanghyuk with his elbow as the boy jolted a little.   
  
“What’s your problem.” Hongbin inquired, looking up at him as Sanghyuk visibly swallowed, and gave a nervous smile. Hongbin squinted at him, and looked over at Professor Cha. “No.” Was all he said, accusingly.   
  
“Shut up.” Sanghyuk snapped, his shoulders raising as if wanting to curl up in defense, trying to make himself feel small.   
  
“Professor _Cha_ ?” Hongbin hissed at him, leaning towards him and staring incredulously.   
  
“He… he just looks _good_ today, okay?” Sanghyuk flushed as he squeaked mid-sentence. Hongbin slowly grinned, an awful, shit-eating grin. Flustered, Sanghyuk began to babble. “It doesn’t _mean_ anything. He just looks kinda hot. I guess. Shut up!” He yelped in exasperation, and Hongbin was finding it hard not to laugh out loud.     
  
“I didn’t say anything.” Hongbin replied, sticking his nose in the air with a smug grin. The tips of Sanghyuk’s ears were red now, fingers fumbling as he pushed more lead into his pacer. His eyes flitted over to the Professor interestingly, his voice somewhat vacant. Professor Cha had begun his Powerpoint. “It surprises me though.”   
  
“What does?” Sanghyuk replied, a little haughty, and Hongbin saw him write what was on the projection. The pacer was making something closer to angry cuts into the paper than actual letters.   
  
“You,” Hongbin replying, unable to hide the incredibly satisfied smile stuck on his face. “Being into older men.”   
  
Sanghyuk looked like he was about to explode of embarrassment. “I just thought he looks good today.” He mumbled: defensive.   
  
“He wears stuff like this all the time.” Hongbin replied immediately, but Professor Cha had begun to walk around as he spoke. Professor Cha seemed to never be able to keep still when he was talking. Sanghyuk just slid him a glare and Hongbin’s mouth twisted as he tried to force down a smile. He picked up his pen and began to jot down some belated notes.   
  
Though as he kept writing, something felt off. He frowned at the thought, lowering his pen. He took a shallow breath, and began to roll the pen between two fingers, thinking that it felt different. His body felt different, like someone else’s, a different person’s blood flowing through his veins. He wondered if it was the magic, some kind of side effect from denying the Soulbond. He frowned, lips pressing together as he guessed that was probably the case. He re-adjusted himself in his seat, and went to force himself to write more notes, only to look up and catch eyes with someone a couple of rows in front of him. A boy had looked back right at him, staring, and the sight made Hongbin straighten a little, eyes widening. His tongue poked through his dry lips, wetting them, glancing over at Sanghyuk who was already looking at him as well, the same agitated expression on his face. Sanghyuk opened his mouth to speak but hesitated, lowering his pacer.   
  
Hongbin’s hands were now beginning to shake from anxiety, his eyes widening. What was wrong? What was off? His brain scrambled, wondering if there was something about him that people would stare at. Did he have something on his face? But Sanghyuk would of told him. Did he smell? No, he showered this morning, he couldn’t be: that was ridiculous. His heart then jolted with realisation, and as if Sanghyuk had heard his deepest fear, murmured in his ear.   
  
“Did you take your pill this morning?”   
  
Hongbin’s entire body felt like it gained weight with dread, his jaw clenching as he looked down. He hadn’t. He slowly shook his head. Sanghyuk pulled away, and Hongbin didn’t look up to know Sanghyuk’s grave expression. He never skipped. He never did. He was always so careful, that’s why he didn’t even suspect - it wasn’t even his first thought - Hongbin stared down at his half-finished note, though the words were just squiggles to his frantic brain.   
  
He’d left them at home. Sanghyuk had grabbed his bag and they’d left. Hongbin completely forgot about them. He wanted to run out, but making a scene would only make it worse, and his anxiety had him rooted to the spot. His eyes slid to Sanghyuk, who had paled a little, obviously thinking something of the same lines. His eyes were incredibly apologetic.   
  
Someone coughed behind him, and Hongbin flinched, glancing back and seeing the person giving a small yet curious glance before looking back down at their paper. Or maybe Hongbin was just assuming things. He didn’t know. He just wanted to get out of there.   
  
His brain was so full of paranoia that he had completely forgotten about Professor Cha, and it was only when the man’s voice was getting closer did his head bow. He thought back to when he saw him with the man - his Soulmate - and felt now physically ill at the fact the Professor most likely already knows he is an omega. At the rate that his hormones were coming back, all the students surrounding him would know too.   
  
Hongbin wondered if it were possible that he could hide under the desk without anyone noticing. The chances were probably slim. He glanced back to see Professor Cha begin to walk down the row beside his seat, hands linked behind his back as he usually did while he talked. Hongbin could hardly tune in, his brain buzzing with agitated wasps of worry, and he was gripping his pen so hard it felt like it might begin to crack under his fingertips.   
  
It seemed like a millennia as the Professor made his casual way down, as if he had no idea of Hongbin’s current emotional and hormonal turmoil. He walked by, and the Professor gave Hongbin no mind, until his hand slid something smoothly onto Hongbin’s table. The Professor simply kept walking, acting as if he hadn’t done anything, and Hongbin bleakly stared at what had been put on his desk before he finally registered what it was.   
  
He snatched it, his face colouring as he put it on his lap and covered it with his hands. He inwardly cringed as he heard it rattle, though uncurled his hand to see a Beta Pill bottle cupped within them. He gave a shuddery sigh of relief, unscrewing the cap and downing one of the pills without water, his face cringing at the unpleasant feeling.   
  
Hongbin sat like that, head bowed with his hands clasped firmly around the bottle as if doing everything he could to hide it from anyone in the room. He blinked, biting down on his lip, chewing the skin off. He tried to control his breathing. He wanted to cry, and the feeling made his hands quiver. The Professor had known he must take pills, had known, upon smelling Hongbin’s omega scent beginning to waft through the room, that Hongbin must have forgotten to take it. Why did Professor Cha, a Beta, have one of these Pill bottles? Did lecturers have them on hand in case an omega’s scent got too strong, or forgot to take them? Hongbin curled into himself, his face feeling hot, exposed, nails digging crescents into his skin. He wondered if everyone had seen the Professor slide him the Pill bottle. Would they know now? Would they treat him differently for it? He cringed. All this hard work, all this hard work… for _nothing._   
  
The lecture seemed to go on for a century, and Hongbin never recollected himself enough to take any more notes. When Professor Cha announced the lecture was over, everyone seemed to stand except himself and Sanghyuk, who he hadn’t made eye-contact with for over half an hour.   
  
“Hongbin…” Sanghyuk’s voice sounded so concerned, and his hand brushed against Hongbin’s shoulder: he flinched, badly. A sound so pitiable escaped Hongbin’s lips and Hongbin felt like he was about to collapse. Sanghyuk retracted his hand immediately, but then Hongbin stood up, the chair scraping against the floor painfully. Hongbin, sight blurring with tears, began to pack his things, hands shaking. He zipped up his bag, clutched the pill bottle in his hand and staggered down the stairs, Sanghyuk following closely behind. “ _Hongbin._ ” He called again, sounding exasperated.   
  
“I don’t want-- to talk, I-”   
  
“Hongbin.” A different voice. A firm voice. Hongbin heard the last of the students leave the hall and only then did he look up. Professor Cha stood in front of him. His expression was kind, but not full of pity. It was a look of understanding, and Hongbin’s face twisted unpleasantly. _What would he know._ Hongbin moved to walk past him, though the Professor blocked his path, and Hongbin almost gave a whine of defiance. He looked everywhere but the man’s face, unable to bring himself to.   
  
“I would like to talk to you.” Professor Cha said, not unkindly, though there were no questions about it. Like Hongbin didn’t have a choice. “I would also like the pills back, preferably.”   
  
Hongbin’s eyes widened as he stared at the ground, a spot beside the Professor’s left shoe. He gave a shuddering sigh of defeat, his body visibly slumping. “Let’s go to my office. I’ll make some tea.” Hongbin hadn’t looked up, so he hadn’t seen the Professor smile at Sanghyuk, who flushed visibly. “I’ll see to him.”   
  
Hongbin was coerced, feeling the Professor’s hand hooking behind his back in what Hongbin figured was supposed to be comforting. It was simply more embarrassing, like a parent pulling a snivelling child off the playground because of a grazed knee.

He was lead, wordlessly, to the Professor’s office. It was well lit, a pleasantly modern appearance. It was also homely, the Professor had added a few choice pot plants, bright green leaves draping over the windowsill. He gave a shuddering sigh as the Professor pulled him a chair in front of a small, two-person table pressed against the window. Hongbin sat down in the chair slowly, wiping some tears that had escaped on the way over. His fingers gripped at his pants, bunching the fabric as his muscles tensed so much it was painful.   
  
“Tea?”   
  
“No, I… had a drink earlier.” He mumbled, finally finding the will to look up at him. The Professor frowned, though seemed to turn away to get something anyway. Hongbin found an opened packet of biscuits in front of him, as Professor Cha sat opposite him casually, draping a leg over the other. He realised the man was graceful in his movements, the man’s lithe body flowing as if to music.   
  
“Have a biscuit, Hongbin.” He finally said, gesturing the packet.   
  
“I’m not hungry.” Hongbin replied quietly.   
  
“Eat one.” The Professor demanded, his hand pushing the packet over to him.   
  
Hongbin took one between two fingers, taking a small bite before lowering it near his lap. This situation reminded him of something, and then he got hit with the pang of nostalgia. Voice still slightly shaky, he murmured: “Who are you, Professor McGonagall?”   
  
He watched as the Professor seemed to relax, somewhat, taking off his glasses and folding them, placing them onto the table. He smiled wistfully and his face smoothed out pleasantly. Hongbin felt the tension between them begin to wash away as the Professor spoke fondly. “Oh, I loved her. I wanted to be a teacher like her, strict, but caring. Unfortunately that didn’t really turn out, plus I can shift into a wolf, not a cat.”   
  
Hongbin blinked. “You’re a shifter?”   
  
The Professor’s eyes widened in realisation as if he hadn’t realised he’d let that slip. “Oh, yes, I am. But don’t go spreading that around. I’ll get treated like some kind of circus act before long.” He laughed as he waved dismissively, but it was only fond. He looked down, and picked at his pants idly. It was only now, up close and seeing the man like this, did Hongbin think there was something off about every time he smiled. Like he wasn’t truly happy. “Since shifters are becoming rarer and rarer. Evolution, apparently, or perhaps children aren’t being taught to hone any magic that they have.”   
  
Hongbin just sat, taking more bites of the biscuit before eating it all at once. It wasn’t half bad. He was already thinking about a second one: but that thought made him realise he didn’t want to be here for another biscuit. He wasn’t about to sit through some lecture about how he should feel, about how he should act.   
  
“Professor Cha…”   
  
“You can call me Hakyeon, I’m not teaching.”   
  
“Hakyeon, then.” Hongbin said, a little impatient. Hakyeon tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, before Hongbin spoke again. From his free hand, he passed Hakyeon the beta pill bottle, seeing it slide across the table. Hakyeon gazed down at it and then up at Hongbin as he stood, who wanted to take his leave. “I’m thankful for you giving me that, I am, but I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”   
  
“I think we need to.” Hakyeon replied bluntly, looking up at him.   
  
“I really don’t think we do.”   
  
“Hongbin, I know what you’re going through better than any-”   
  
“ _Stop it_. Don’t. Just don’t.” Hongbin hissed, now looking down at the table. He felt his voice choke on his own emotions again. His fists clenched at his sides. “Stop assuming you know what I’m going through. Why does everyone say that - you don’t know how I’m feeling, how can a _beta_ know-”   
  
“I am not a beta.” Hakyeon said, cutting between Hongbin’s words so smoothly Hongbin forgot what he was going to say next. Hongbin’s voice faltered, hearing the words that Hongbin was too afraid to say to himself.   
  
“You’re not a-?”   
  
Hakyeon’s head gestured down at the pill bottle. “Whose bottle did you think that was?”   
  
Hongbin stuttered, looking down at it. “W-Well I thought… you’d have it for omega… students…”   
  
“No, they’re mine, and I take them with both breakfast and dinner. I am an omega, Hongbin. Now sit down.” Hongbin found himself sitting down obediently, staring at the Pill bottle. He swallowed, staring down at his hands. So Hakyeon was an omega, but that still didn’t mean he understood what Hongbin was currently going through. He frowned at the thought. He couldn’t tell Hongbin he should be accepting of his wolf caste when he took Beta Pills himself.   
  
Hakyeon sighed: he had obviously not wanted this to be turned into an argument. “I want to help you.”   
  
“With what.” Hongbin’s voice contained more venom than he meant, and his eyes flickered up in apology. Hakyeon just gave another one of those smiles that somewhat bothered Hongbin: never truly happy.   
  
“With your Soulbond.”   
  
Hongbin physically reacted, his body jerking in surprise. Of course, Hakyeon knew. He was restraining the man, that man. He felt the saliva flood from his mouth. “I don’t… want help…”   
  
“Hongbin.” Hakyeon began again, now leaning over the table. Hongbin cringed, and he felt like Hakyeon was only pitying him. His voice was so concerned, his voice almost desperate at this point. “Hongbin, I understand what you’re going through, I can help.”   
  
Hongbin hung his head, his hands covering his eyes that had begun to burn with tears. _Crying: always crying._ “What do you know, how the _fuck_ do you know what I’m going through.”   
  
There was a silence: Hongbin had been expecting Hakyeon to snap back at him, retort, but he didn’t. The fact Hakyeon didn’t say anything made Hongbin slowly look up, and seeing Hakyeon’s expression had his stomach swoop with a guilt and dread. Hakyeon’s smile was very forced, bitter, the corners of his lips twitching as if he were struggling not to allow another emotion show. It was then, did Hakyeon blink rapidly and looked away, and Hongbin’s hands fell slowly to his lap when he realised Hakyeon was blinking away tears.   
  
“Because... I was in a Soulbond.” Hakyeon finally said, his voice so carefully void of emotion.   
  
Soulbonds could never be broken; that was what everyone knew about them. Unless, one of Soulmates died.

Hongbin almost sobbed.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hongbin croaked, feeling hot tears fall onto his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”   
  
“I know.” Hakyeon said softly, and it was so unlike his usual tone: his speaking voice, his teacher voice. It was fragile. Hongbin grimaced, hanging his head in shame.   
  
“I want to help you.” Hakyeon began again, his voice slowly getting stronger. Hongbin could tell he was forcing himself too. “I want to help you, because I don’t want to see you both suffer any longer.”   
  
“Both?”   
  
“Your Soulmate,” Hakyeon began carefully, looking at Hongbin squarely. “Is my best friend.”   
  
“Oh,” was all Hongbin could reply with, swallowing down another shaking breath.   
  
“I know Soulbond magic all too well, Hongbin. You can’t keep going on like this. Physically, mentally, you can’t. It will run you down to the point you can’t recover from it.”   
  
Hongbin’s jaw clenched almost painfully. “I don’t… I don’t want to be bonded with. I don’t want to be claimed, to be… to be seen as someone lesser. I don’t want to be a… a _good little omega_.”  
  
Hakyeon only smiled sadly. “You’re playing on romanticized stereotypes, Hongbin. Are all omegas mindlessly submissive, weak, damsels, and unable to form an opinion?”   
  
Hongbin frowned in confusion, answering the obvious: “No.”   
  
“Why would all alphas be their own stereotypes?” Hakyeon asked simply, offering Hongbin a smile.   
  
“They do, though, because of their instincts-”   
  
“Alphas have their wolf instinct, the magic influence, yes, but they are not restricted by them, as we are not with our own. Omegas may be more passive by nature, but society has told us that omegas are weaker, but that’s only because throughout time, conservative governments were usually run by alphas, so why would they bring themselves down?”   
  
Hongbin frowned. He’d heard all this before, but he nodded, sighing. “I know. They tried to oppress us so they could control us, and our society is only an example of their past actions.” He said it emotionlessly, like reading it out of a textbook. He had. It was through the phase of which he was trying to justify to himself that being an omega was okay: in the end, the self-help books didn’t work.   
  
Hakyeon just looked down at his hands. “One thing that society has correctly told us, though, is that Soulbonds are the most desirable thing in the universe.”   
  
“I don’t think-”   
  
“Your Soulmate is made for you, Hongbin. The universe created you both knowing you were meant to be. And that is that.”   
  
“The universe should of _asked_ me first--”   
  
Hakyeon looked like he wanted to stand up and hit him to knock some sense in him. Hongbin’s eyes widened, and he immediately stopped talking. He noticed how Hakyeon’s fists quivered. He had made Hakyeon frustrated to the point he was trying desperately not to do anything reckless. He was fighting back tears again.   
  
He leant forward, eyes serious and angry, his voice almost hissing, “you don’t have a choice. You’re both suffering. The longer you do this, the longer your Soulmate goes through this torture, too.”   
  
He swallowed. “He’s…”   
  
“Every time you feel a negative emotion, your Soulmate feels it. The magic is torturing him for it, too. He’s affected to the point he can’t do everyday things. He’s incredibly in tune to your emotions considering you haven’t met. Just last night, I had to teach him how to send calming emotions back to you just so he could have a peace of mind. He made you feel better, and then he collapsed and slept for twelve hours straight. You’re exhausting him: exhausting each other. You have to stop this.” Hakyeon spoke with little to no pause for breath, voice desperate and hurt and frustrated. Realising how much he had said, and seeing the distraught look on Hongbin’s face, he calmed himself. He visibly swallowed before he continued, in a gentler tone. “I know you’re scared. It’s a scary thing, but Hongbin, you can’t keep running. For both of your sakes, but… your Soulmate… he means a lot to me. I can’t keep seeing him like this.”   
  
His voice was so brittle, cracked, like Hongbin could say another wrong thing and Hakyeon would completely shatter. He swallowed, as he realised that perhaps in a way he’d been somewhat selfish; that his Soulmate, somewhere, was suffering right now. Sure, he didn’t want a bond, he didn’t want anything to do with this man, but he didn’t want to make a stranger suffer. Hakyeon had taken a biscuit himself now, biting and chewing loudly as if to try and help himself relax.

“I’m sorry.” Hakyeon finally murmured. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like a guilt trip. I just… it hurts, seeing him like this, and not being able to do anything for him other than telling him to hold on. He’s like a brother to me.”  
  
“No it’s… I understand…” Hongbin replied quietly. “I suppose I would feel the same. And… and you can tell him it worked.”   
  
“Huh?” Hakyeon blinked, looking at him.   
  
“Last night, I… was really upset, and the next I knew… I was… I felt really content. Relaxed I… didn’t even think too much about it because I was so exhausted. I didn’t even _think_ of-”   
  
“That’s great to hear.” Hakyeon replied, and Hongbin startled, looking up to see the man smiling a little. Hongbin stared at the fact it was even genuine. “I’ll tell him, he’ll be very happy.”   
  
“He’ll…” Hongbin blinked, and it hurt now, his waterlines burned. He bit his lip, looking down almost shyly. “What’s he… what’s he like?”   
  
“Your soulmate?” Hakyeon just smiled fondly, leaning back onto the chair as he looked off in thought. “He’s quite odd, but in an endearing way. He isn’t a talkative person, always thinks before he speaks. He has an intimidating appearance: he’s not very expressive. But, he’s a very kind person, and gets shy easily. He likes babies and animals and coffee. I can see him glowering at me for saying this, but he’s a big softy, really.”   
  
Hongbin blinked, taken aback. “He sounds like some kind of book character.”   
  
Hakyeon gave a small laugh. “Yes, I suppose he does.” He looked at Hongbin then, tilting his head to the side. His eyes twinkled. “Would you like to meet him?”   
  
“I…” Hongbin gazed down again, and didn’t speak for a couple of moments. Finally, he sighed: resigned. “I suppose I have to.”   
  
“Great!” Hakyeon grinned, clapping his hands together so loudly from his excitement that Hongbin jumped a little. “You can meet him on Tuesday at the kitten cafe our friend owns.”   
  
“Tuesday?” Hongbin cried. “ _This_ tuesday? But that’s tomorrow?”   
  
Hakyeon just grinned, and his eyes glinted of a mischievousness that made Hongbin feel filled with dread. “It’ll be less time to worry about it, I suppose.”   
  
Hongbin looked down; he supposed Hakyeon had a point, but still, it was happening too fast, there was no way he could… but then his hand was clasped, held gently by both of Hakyeon’s. He looked up, and Hakyeon had rounded the table and knelt before him. Their eyes met, Hakyeon’s eyes and smile were kind, so kind.   
  
“You need to do this. For yourself.” He said sincerely, squeezing Hongbin’s hand gently. Hongbin found himself unable to say no.   
  
“O...okay.” Was all he said, and it caused Hakyeon to smile so wonderfully, so genuinely, it gave a painful ache to Hongbin’s heart. How long had it been, since Hakyeon had smiled like that?   
  
Hakyeon’s hands slipped away and stood up, and took a pack of sticky notes and a pen by his desk behind him, scribbling something down. “Here’s the address, come over at twelve. If you somehow lose it, here’s my number, so put it on your phone now. That way you have _no excuses._ ”   
  
Hongbin made a face, and Hakyeon laughed.   
  
Hongbin found himself exiting Hakyeon’s office with a sticky note clasped in his hands, and a new contact in his phone. He had been staring at the ground, and hearing his own name made him look up. Sanghyuk had been sitting outside, and judging by how quickly he shot up at the sight of him, had been worried.   
  
“H-Hongbin.” Sanghyuk stuttered, his feet stumbling for a moment as he made his way over to him. “Hongbin, how are you?”   
  
“I’m… I’m okay.” He replied, still frowning, though lifted his face to meet Sanghyuk.   
  
“What did you speak to Professor Cha about?”   
  
“The… Soulbond, and stuff.”   
  
Sanghyuk seemed fidgety, looking down at him, asking softly in case he had begun to walk on eggshells. “Oh… oh, um, what did he say?”   
  
Hongbin looked down, swallowing before he spoke. “I guess I’m meeting him tomorrow.”   
  
“W-What?” Sanghyuk blinked, jerking back a little, giving an incredulous smile. “I mean, that’s great but, tomorrow? Do you want me to come with you?”   
  
Moral support. Hongbin founding himself liking the idea. “Yeah that… that might be good.”   
  
“Plus, if he does something stupid I can let him know.” Sanghyuk raised a fist, motioning as if he was going to punch Hongbin’s Soulmate.   
  
“D-Don’t hurt him, what if that also hurts me? What if I also feel it?” Hongbin’s hands went to his chest, tapping it.   
  
Sanghyuk blinked, suddenly looking concerned. “D-Do Soulbonds work like that?”   
  
“All Soulbonds are different, because each Bond Magic is different.” Hakyeon’s voice piped up from behind Hongbin, and they both looked up to see him at the doorway. He had the packet of biscuits in his hands. “Here.” He said, holding them out to Hongbin. “Take them. You seemed to like them.”   
  
Hongbin found himself taking them. “T-Thanks, Hakyeon.”   
  
Hakyeon just smiled, looking over at Sanghyuk. “You two should head home. It’s been a long day.”   
  
“S-Sure.” Sanghyuk fumbled over his answer in a way that Hongbin’s mouth spread into a too all-knowing smile.   
  


  


  
  
  
Hakyeon came home, slipped off his shoes and slumped his bag on the ground before walking inside. He looked around for Taekwoon, peeking into the kitchen and the dining room, before finding him in the living room. Taekwoon was sitting on the couch, still in pajamas, black hair ruffled over his eyes. He was staring into the distance, his hand curled over a cup of tea that Hakyeon expected might be cold already.   
  
“Taekwoon.”   
  
Like that, Taekwoon blinked out of his stupor, head slowly raising to the noise. His dark eyes met Hakyeon’s, and Taekwoon slowly put the tea down on the coffee table, and began to lift himself off the couch.   
  
“Hakyeon.”   
  
Hakyeon walked in, sliding onto the couch next to him as he put a comforting hand on Taekwoon’s thigh. He coerced him back down onto the couch. Taekwoon did so, slowly, warily, and Hakyeon just smiled. Taekwoon did not say anything and simply looked at Hakyeon as if expecting him to say something. Hakyeon just offered a small smile.   
  
“How do you feel?”   
  
“How do I feel… or how he feels?” His voice was vacant, exhausted.   
  
“How you feel.”   
  
“I feel…” Taekwoon’s voice trailed away as if asking himself: what did he feel? He frowned. “Worried, concerned.”   
  
“And how does Hongbin feel?”   
  
Another pause. “Worried.” He replied, looking back at Hakyeon. “And concerned.”   
  
Hakyeon sighed, though gave a small smile, hand slipping around Taekwoon’s wrist in comfort and began to smooth over his forearms softly. “I have some news.”   
  
“News…?” It hurt Hakyeon to hear just how exhausted he was. He watched Taekwoon begin to zone out again, before pulling himself back together.   
  
“Sorry.” He mumbled. Hakyeon was glad, so glad, that this would end tomorrow.   
  
“It’s alright.” He now took Taekwoon’s hand in his, and Taekwoon reacted to it, looking down and back to Hakyeon.   
  
“Is it bad news?” Taekwoon whispered, voice quiet despite there being no one to eavesdrop.   
  
“No. Today, I talked to Hongbin.” Hakyeon began, and Taekwoon immediately reacted: _Hongbin._ Hakyeon smiled, the way Taekwoon perked with such a quiet, child-like innocence was endearing. “He told me that it worked. Last night, when you pushed your emotions into Hongbin to calm him, it worked.”   
  
Taekwoon smiled. And then he grimaced.   
  
Hakyeon watched Taekwoon’s face crease with emotion, tears welling over waterlines, his head bowing. Hakyeon heard a soft sob escape Taekwoon, and Taekwoon’s hands lifted to his face, covering his eyes with the back of his hands. He began to weep in earnest. Hakyeon guided him over to his shoulder so Taekwoon leaned and shook against him. Hakyeon ran a hand through his hair, rubbed his back.   
  
“I did something for him.” Taekwoon finally spoke, his arms going limp and winding around Hakyeon’s waist in an embrace. It always amazed Hakyeon how Taekwoon had the ability to make himself seem so small. “I … did something for him…”   
  
Hakyeon slowly coerced him away in order to look at his face, looking up into it. “I have even better news.”   
  
Taekwoon blinked in surprise, gazing at him curiously, and Hakyeon smiled.   
  
“You’re meeting tomorrow, at Jaehwan’s cafe.”   
  
“I’m… we’re…”   
  
“Neither of you have to suffer anymore, Taekwoon.” He ran a hand through Taekwoon’s hair comfortingly, who kept looking at him: it was as if Taekwoon couldn’t completely believe him. “You’re going to meet him, and it’ll be one of the most important days of your life.”   
  
“Thank you.” Taekwoon finally said, bowing his head again. His voice so soft, yet so pained, so relieved. “Thank you, Hakyeon, thank you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If this was fate, if there was a red string tied to him and the man inside, perhaps it wasn’t going to be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH! This emotional chapter took forever and a day to write. Please don't be afraid to ask questions on my [ask.fm](https://ask.fm/xfaunalyn) or comment below!

  
“M-Man I… I know I’m meant to be the one to make you feel less nervous,” Hongbin blinked as he looked up at Sanghyuk, who stuttered and blinked rapidly, walking by his side. “But I can feel his aura already, can’t you? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been around other alphas before, but I just… I can already sense his aura. In the shop.” He gestured the shop the two were walking towards, and Hongbin just looked at him, his mouth going dry. “He’s… His aura is really intense. It’s giving _me_ shivers. What are… what are you… how are you feeling?”   
  
“I…” Hongbin’s voice trailed off, feeling the need to swallow but his mouth was so dry he couldn’t. “My… my instincts are happy I’m… closer to him, but I can feel him too.”   
  
Sanghyuk just nodded, as they came up to the shop, the door a pastel pink. Hongbin hadn’t dared looked in the window in case he saw him and felt the need to run away. It wouldn’t be the first time. “It feels kinda weird, an aura like this coming from a cat cafe.” He gave a little wry smile, and Hongbin offered one in return. Sanghyuk reached over and squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture. “He’s made for you, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”   
  
Hongbin’s heart throbs felt like they were pressing against the skin of his chest, and considering Sanghyuk was slightly cringing, he figured he was squeezing Sanghyuk’s hand too hard.   
  
“You should open the door.”   
  
Hongbin agreed, his head slowly turning towards the door and giving a small, shaky sigh. His feet stepped towards it, his fingers clasping the doorknob, though not turning it. Hongbin had been running from this for days. He could run from this now. He was scared, he was terrified, and knew as soon as he opened the door he wouldn’t be able to take it back. Though what made Hongbin slowly turn the knob and push was the fact that if this was what destiny had chosen for him, it wasn’t something he could run from. If this was fate, if there was a red string tied to him and the man inside, perhaps it wasn’t going to be so bad.   
  
He was greeted by a gentle chime of a bell, and the first thing he saw was a cat. Large, white and fluffy, the cat resembled more of a cloud than an animal. It seemed fairly uninterested by their presence, giving them a once-over before looking away. It was fairly anticlimactic to the point that Sanghyuk was now grinning, and Hongbin found his hand slipping from the doorknob, a small smile on his face.   
  
Until he looked up.   
  
It was seeing the man sitting at the booth by the window, seeing how his head turned when he heard the bell, how his eyes widened, knowing it was _him_. It had the muscles in Hongbin’s legs blank out. His knees buckled, the magic pent up inside him escaping his every pore at the sight of him. Hongbin almost wheezed as he dropped, but was caught by Sanghyuk, who had grabbed under his arms. The magic had escaped so suddenly it had Hongbin light-headed, and as he was helped back onto his feet with Sanghyuk supporting him, he found himself light on his feet.

The magic had been weighing him down without Hongbin realising it himself, and just _seeing_ his mate made him feel better. It was like cool water to his face after a hot day. Hongbin looked up again to see that his Soulmate had gotten out of his seat, probably out of surprise and concern at the fact he had fallen.

 Sanghyuk slowly let go of him, and Hongbin was so focused on the man in front of him he forgot to thank him.

Hongbin found himself looking up at his Soulmate, staring almost in awe of his features. The man’s face was delicately feline, pale, with small and curved pink lips, slightly parted. Black hair that was perhaps in need of a cut was tussled over his eyebrows. He looked intimidating, but in a way that Hongbin found charming. His features were unusual, but seeing him up close had Hongbin’s knees want to buckle for an entirely different reason. His heart only continued to beat faster upon the realisation that he believed this person was beautiful. The magic within him no longer twisted his stomach and made him feel lethargic, but instead had begun to gently prod into the man’s direction. A gentle reminder to that he was there, that he should be with him. The magic was fleeting, sweetly kind, and Hongbin almost welcomed it.   
  
The man’s aura was intense, and judging by how Sanghyuk backed away against the door, his aura felt different to Sanghyuk than it did to Hongbin. They had probably stared at each other for several minutes, but Hongbin couldn’t find it in himself to care. He wasn’t mentally capable to think about anything else; the cafe and Sanghyuk were completely obsolete. They were standing now barely a couple of meters apart; Hongbin could feel the magic buzzing around them. It was like the very air was delighted about how close they were.   
  
His hand slightly raised then, and Hongbin wasn’t sure if it were him or his instinct - his, _their_ magic, but his Soulmate’s did too, neither of them having to speak to know what each other wanted. Slowly, Hongbin’s fingertips brushed against the other’s slender fingers, as if afraid they might turn to dust. The magic under his skin hummed in content when they touched, a gentle zap of electricity that somehow didn’t shock but instead soothed. The pent-up emotional and spiritual torture began to leave through Hongbin’s now shaking bones, and they both exhaled shakily at the relief. Their fingers then entwined, and it was warm, it was so warm. It was as if Hongbin had a piece of himself missing all this time, and only now... only now was he complete.   
  
Hongbin’s vision distorted, tears welling over his eyes. His heart ached. “I’m sorry,” He croaked, face crumpling into a grimace. He wasn’t sure what he was sorry for in particular, perhaps it was everything, for also putting his Soulmate into the same kind of torture, for not trusting him. It was overwhelming, and his Soulmate’s other hand raised hesitantly, as if afraid, as if asking permission to touch him. Hongbin didn’t flinch or move away, and so the other’s hand, so soft and gentle, cupped his cheek as his thumb dragged lightly across his cheekbone to get wipe a tear Hongbin hadn’t known escaped. It was a wordless gesture, but somehow he knew it as a _‘Don’t be.’_

Hongbin leant into the touch, strangely not at all intimidated, concerned or anxious about this person. He didn’t know what the man was like, didn’t know if the man was going to be the alpha he had always been scared of and hated, but yet, he _knew._ He somehow _knew_ without _knowing_ that this man was nothing to be afraid of. The way his magic, no, _their_ magic coursed through both of them through their linked hands. It told him that the person standing before him was not his worst nightmare.   
  
“I’m Hongbin.” He murmured. The other’s hand slipped from his face and took Hongbin’s free one. Hongbin shuddered at the feeling, blinking up at him. The man seemed almost expressionless, stoic, yet the subtle movements of his face told Hongbin wonders. Perhaps, Hongbin thought, it was the magic, sending his Soulmate’s emotions over like a spiritual subliminal message. When he nodded, and gave a little smile, but his lips quivered as if he were holding so much back. At the sight, Hongbin said with more confidence, “What’s your name?”  
  
“Taekwoon.” And Hongbin flinched a little to hear this tall, broad and intense man talk with such a kind voice. Soft, gentle and almost wispy, as if it could be carried away by the wind.   
  
“Taekwoon.” Hongbin murmured, and Taekwoon nodded, his lips curling down as if fighting not to wince. Taekwoon’s fingers curled around Hongbin’s tighter and it was almost like he was worried Hongbin might dissipate: as if he might run away again. Hongbin had never felt so guilty in his life, and had never felt so overrun with such a plethora of emotions.   
  
“It’s…” Hongbin took a small step forward, unable to look away from his eyes. “It’s okay to show what you’re feeling. Please don’t… hide anything for my sake, Taekwoon.”   
  
Hongbin watched as Taekwoon’s almost expressionless face break into a grimace. Taekwoon looked down between them, overwhelmed with his own emotions to the point he didn’t want Hongbin to see them. When Taekwoon let out a small whimper that verged onto a sob, Hongbin shook his head, and instead took the man’s biceps. “Don’t. Please look at me.”   
  
Taekwoon did: eyes sliding back to him and it was as if he could _feel_ Taekwoon’s heart jolt in unison with his. His hands then, tentatively, gently, raised to cup the man’s jaw. They were close, oh so close, and yet the magic only prodded him further. _It wasn’t enough._   
  
“I’m not running away anymore.” Hongbin admitted, and his fingers were trembling against the man’s skin. Taekwoon was tearing up, and then they were dripping onto his full cheeks, and Hongbin silently vowed to never make Taekwoon cry again. His fingers echoed Taekwoon’s earlier gesture, swiping across his cheeks to take the tears away. “I was scared, I was so scared, but I’m not… I’m not going to run anywhere. I’m here now. I’m here.”   
  
Hongbin found his hands slowly sliding down Taekwoon’s face and around his waist, stepping into an embrace. Taekwoon was sturdy, strong, like a pillar where Hongbin wasn't. Hongbin was also broad-shouldered, but he was oddly proportioned; slim hips under a long torso. He was slim where Taekwoon was wide, noticing now that his chest was broad, and Taekwoon was only a little taller. Hongbin’s lips met Taekwoon’s shoulder as he shuddered again, the magic giving a sigh of relief. Taekwoon’s arms slowly winded around Hongbin too, until his long fingers were gripping the back of his shirt to the point he was trembling.   
  
Taekwoon’s body leant into him: a man whose aura was so alpha and yet was curled against Hongbin like he was completely dependant on him. His face nestled into Hongbin’s neck, clinging onto him in a child-like desperation. Hongbin had never truly met this man before, but the hug felt less than awkward, their bodies slotting against each other perfectly. They were so intimately close to the point that Hongbin was unsure if he’d ever be able to let go. Their hearts were pressing together, and Hongbin could swear they were beating in tandem.   
  
“I don’t… I don’t blame you… for running away…” Taekwoon finally spoke into his neck: his voice soft to the point that no one other than Hongbin would be able to hear. His hands uncurled from Hongbin’s shirt, unwinding them and hanging limply at Hongbin’s hips. His eyes were pink, framed by long, wet eyelashes. Taekwoon took a small breath before he spoke again, raising a finger to brush hairs away from Hongbin’s eyes. “I don’t blame you for being scared.” His voice was so sweet, so kind, Hongbin wanted to cry, to let himself go and sob into Taekwoon’s shirt, but he couldn’t, he refused. “But… but I don’t want you to be scared. Especially not of me.”   
  
“I was.” Hongbin replied softly, and Taekwoon nodded simply, gazing down slightly. “But I… I think I’m… finished running.”   
  
Taekwoon smiled, and it was watery, both their cheeks shining with wiped tears. Taekwoon leaned over slowly, pressing his small, plump lips to Hongbin’s cheek, and Hongbin broke out into a smile. The magic seemed to chime happily as they gazed into each other’s eyes again. Taekwoon sighed fondly, both of them experiencing washes of relief. His eyes looked into Hongbin’s with such affection that if Hongbin wasn’t so sure he was probably subconsciously reciprocating it, he would accuse Taekwoon of being a massive sap.   
  
Taekwoon, then, broke eye-contact with Hongbin and straightened up a little, looking over his shoulder behind him. “Thank you for bringing him here.”   
  
Sanghyuk. Hongbin spun around so fast it made him almost light-headed, looking over at Sanghyuk with wide eyes.   
  
Sanghyuk’s face was a little flushed, looking small with his back still pressed against the door. His eyes darted around uncertainly, and then met with Hongbin's.   
  
“U-uh, no problem, I guess…” It was weird, seeing Sanghyuk like this, but Hongbin was a little embarrassed himself. Sanghyuk gave a shy smile. “So I guess you’ll be okay now, huh?”   
  
“I… I think I’ll be better than before, at least.” Hongbin said honestly, nodding. Taekwoon gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Hongbin and I,” Taekwoon began, and Hongbin blinked at how his voice sounded again, realising it’ll probably take some time to get used to. Every time Taekwoon spoke, Hongbin felt himself tune into his voice, feeling the words soak into his very bones. “I think, need to catch up on things, would you like to meet Jaehwan?”  
  
“Jaehwan?” Sanghyuk blinked, obviously taken by surprise.   
  
“That would be me.” Jaehwan’s voice piped from the counter, and Hongbin glanced around to the counter to see a man whose smile was almost dazzling. His slightly pointed ears and large nose gave him an almost elven-like appearance. His eyes sparkled with what Hongbin wondered as tears. On his shoulder was a small kitten, whose little claws clung onto his cardigan, giving the man an overall very unthreatening appearance.   
  
Sanghyuk blinked over, and glanced back at Taekwoon and then back at Jaehwan, who smiled at him. “Let's give these lovebirds some time to chat. I need help to feed all the cats.” He gestured his head behind the counter as he grinned. He peeled the kitten off his shoulder and nestled it into the crook of his elbow. Sanghyuk’s feet stumbled over at him, disappearing behind the counter as Jaehwan gave a small thumbs up to Taekwoon.   
  
Taekwoon gave a small, disgruntled huff, and Hongbin smiled, a dimple creasing his cheek. Taekwoon blinked, looking back to Hongbin and his features softened. Taekwoon reached over, fingertips brushing against the soft underside of Hongbin’s wrist: feather touches that made him shiver. He was reacting in a way that he felt was terribly like an omega, and at the thought, retracted his hand. He felt, rather than saw, Taekwoon frown, felt his unhappiness through their magic, and Hongbin’s eyes cast down almost in apology, like he should be _sorry_ for not wanting to be an omega. His fists clenched, knowing he shouldn’t be.   
  
“I’m…” Hongbin began, suddenly feeling very exposed now they were alone. Taekwoon’s eyes never left him, and it felt like he was under a bright spotlight. “I’m not… and refuse to be… a submissive little omega with no say. I don’t want to be controlled, or protected, or talked down to, I don’t want to be someone where people feel they need to exert dominance over because of my wolf caste.”   
  
Hongbin was surprised by the hard tone of his own voice, but was more surprised by the fact Taekwoon said nothing, and simply listened to him speak. He didn’t say anything after either, as if he was waiting to see if Hongbin was going to say more. Hongbin’s jaw clenched, and looked back into Taekwoon’s eyes again. “We’re in a Soulbond, and there’s no point running from something like that, but I want to be seen as an equal relationship. I want this… I want this to work, so that’s why I’m telling you this.”   
  
Taekwoon then nodded once, and he did not exude any anger or resentment towards it. It made Hongbin relax some, but his eyes never looked away in case Taekwoon’s eyes gave away anything. After a little while, Taekwoon spoke. “I am an alpha.” He said slowly. “But I feel in no ways obliged to do those things, and if, by any wolf instinct I do, I have enough self-control to prevent myself from doing that.”   
  
“But they’re just words, how do I know you’re not going to change as soon as we’re in private?” Hongbin didn’t want to fight with this man, his magic told him to stop, and Hongbin grimaced. He hated it, he hated it.   
  
“I did not do anything but instead let you come to me, I only wanted to meet you when you were ready.” Taekwoon’s eyebrows curved in concern. “Hongbin, you are my Soulmate. What I am saying is only words, but that is only what I can provide you right now. There is nothing that I want more in this world than your happiness.”   
  
“You just met me.” Hongbin muttered, eyes lowering to the man’s chest.   
  
“Do you not feel the same?” Taekwoon almost whispered in return, and his voice sounded stricken. Hongbin’s eyes widened and he stared down. He did. He truly did feel the same. The magic was prodding at him angrily for making both he and Taekwoon upset, but it wasn’t his fault. This needed to be said. Taekwoon needed to know what he wanted in order for this to work. It was that thought that made Hongbin pick himself up and take a small, shuddering breath.   
  
“Of course I do.”   
  
Taekwoon’s face didn’t change, but instead, the eye-contact faltered. Taekwoon’s fingers twitched as if he was trying to fight the urge not to take Hongbin’s hand, to hold him, to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. Though, Hongbin took initiation instead, his fingers slotting in between Taekwoon’s all too easily. “I do, Taekwoon. Really. You’re…” His voice trailed off, and it was like the magic audibly hummed sweetly at their small touches. Taekwoon’s thumb began to slide gently against Hongbin’s hand. “You’re made for me, right? We’re made for each other. So, I want this to work.”   
  
Taekwoon nodded. Taekwoon pressed his lips to Hongbin’s forehead, the Hongbin leant into it, eyelashes slanting down at the gesture. They were close, so close, Taekwoon’s breath now tickling his cheek as they pressed foreheads. He felt light-headed, being this close with his Soulmate after fighting against the bond for so long had Hongbin verging on an out-of-body experience.   
  
“Please let me prove it to you.” Taekwoon finally whispered, his fingers carding through the hair behind Hongbin’s head.   
  
“Okay.” Hongbin replied without thinking, and their lips were a mere breath away. He found himself gazing down at them, how small yet curved and plump they were. His body quivered. The magic began to prod him again, as if to say yes to the thought, and so Hongbin tilted his head up, pressing their lips together for a couple of beats before breaking away. _Oh._ Their bond magic felt like butterflies, dancing throughout their veins, providing them with such a rush of both adrenaline and affection that their lips were pressing together again: wanting more.

Their lips eased together naturally, but then it became more desperate, Taekwoon tilting his head to the side, hands on Hongbin’s hips and pulling them closer. Hongbin slid his hand through Taekwoon’s hair, curling his fingers as he gripped it, and the man’s gentle voice moaned lowly into Hongbin’s mouth. The sound made Hongbin pulled away, gazing up at Taekwoon whose cheeks were flushed, eyes cast away in a little embarrassment. The sight made Hongbin almost gawk.   
  
“Did you just… you just--”   
  
Taekwoon dipped his head as Hongbin spluttered, getting a little pink himself, realising they’d kissed in a fairly public place - sure, the cafe had been closed for their reunion, but still - and he looked away. “You just… made that sound, and you’re, you know, one of those big bad alphas-”   
  
It was then did a funny little noise escape from Taekwoon, and Hongbin looked back to see the man was smiling and trying to hide it. Taekwoon was laughing, albeit very quietly, and Hongbin flushed. “What are you laughing at?”   
  
The way Taekwoon’s cheeks raised, the way his eyes glittered and his teeth peeked between his lips had Hongbin huff haughtily, mouth twisting as he fought not to smile. It was weird, feeling so light and almost giddy now, to see Taekwoon laughing like this. His happiness made him swell with affection, and he wondered if it were the magic doing this. Curious, he then took Taekwoon’s hand, and as soon as their skin touched the magic seemed to wash over them, Taekwoon’s emotions magnifying to the point that Hongbin was suddenly laughing with him. He could feel Taekwoon’s happiness, physically, spiritually, and it was contagious. Hongbin began to laugh as Taekwoon did, and Taekwoon peppered smiling kisses over his face.   


  


  
Jaehwan and Sanghyuk peeked over the counter.   
  
“This is so weird.” Sanghyuk murmured.   
  
“Mhm.” Jaehwan hummed in agreement.   
  
“I swear they were fighting a second ago, but now they’re giggling. I didn’t even know Hongbin _could_ giggle.” Sanghyuk looked over to Jaehwan, wanting answers, but Jaehwan seemed to not hear him, staring at the two fondly. It was almost like he was a proud parent.   
  
“I’m glad for it.” Jaehwan finally admitted, his eyes sliding back to Sanghyuk as he looked down at the kittens feeding. “It’s the magic, probably. Taekwoon’s been suffering badly, so it’s nice to… actually see him laughing.”   
  
Sanghyuk fell onto his bottom from his crouching position, knees folding as he hugs his legs loosely. “You’re… a good friend of his, huh?”   
  
Jaehwan nodded. “Taekwoon and Hakyeon met me only a couple of months after relocating from the wild--”   
  
“Taekwoon and Hak-- Professor Cha are from the wild?”   
  
Jaehwan blinked, though nodded. “Taekwoon wants to start a pack in the city, I think. He’s probably going to talk to Hongbin about it today.”   
  
“Oh…” Sanghyuk replied dumbly, absentmindedly patting a cat. “So how about you Jaehwan? Are you joining it? Do you have a mate?”   
  
Jaehwan just smiled, and the way his lips curled up spoke nothing of fondness. Sanghyuk gathered on the spot that he must think so highly of Taekwoon and Hakyeon. “I’m joining it. Taekwoon’s asked me already if I would be interested. But to your second question, no.” Jaehwan’s head tilted at the side, staring at Sanghyuk as if he was mulling something over before he finally added. “I’m asexual, so I’m not looking for any sexual partners, though the bond a pack brings… would be good.”   
  
Sanghyuk’s eyes widen. “Can… can an asexual have a mate?”   
  
“Of course!” Jaehwan almost snapped, his voice lilting up in a childish, pouting manner. His nose crinkled at him in mock disgust before his face softened afterwards. “Mates aren’t just decided on sex, you know. It can be created upon platonic and romantic bonds too. For instance, even a soulbonded asexual Alpha and an asexual omega don’t have to have sex to solidify any bond, if they’re mutually dedicated to each other the magic will know and seal their bond even tighter. For people with sex drives, making love is just another way to do that.” Jaehwan smiles and just shrugs. Sanghyuk listens in awe, hugging his legs tighter.   
  
“I didn’t even know that.”   
  
“That’s why,” Jaehwan proclaimed, raising a finger, a grey kitten’s head popping up from under his cardigan as he spoke probably too loudly. “Education is important!”   
  
Sanghyuk smiled as he reached over, scratching the kitten’s head gently that had popped out of Jaehwan’s cardigan. Jaehwan looked down and smiled. He then looked over the counter, perking up a little.   
  
“Oh, they’re sitting down now. I better make Taekwoon a latte. Do you know what Hongbin likes?" Jaehwan sled,  his gaze returning to Sanghyuk.

"I... yeah, he likes mochas. Do you know how to make those?"

"Of course!" Jaehwan huffed: how dare Sanghyuk question his abilities.  He stood up and grabbed some tall glasses. "I am a _certified_ barista."

  


  
  


Hongbin and Taekwoon were now sitting opposite each other, hands laced together at the middle of the table. Hongbin could feel their bond magic flow between them, and he felt at ease. He wondered if Taekwoon felt the same calm as well. They sat, for a few moments, just revelling in each other's presence; they were therapeutic to each other especially after the trauma over the past week.

"I live in a large house," Taekwoon began eventually, voice calm and steady. "Multiple bedrooms. Hakyeon, Jaehwan and I live there."

Hongbin blinked, wondering where Taekwoon was getting at.

"I used to live in the wild, my wolf is particularly strong in the way I ... have pack instinct. Family instinct, I suppose. Hakyeon and I left the wild after Hakyeon's Soulmate’s death, but time has passed and now, I wish to make my own pack. In the city."

"You want me to join your pack."

Taekwoon frowned briefly, though looked up at Hongbin and nodded. "You don't have to, of course, but the ... offer is there..." Taekwoon gazed over to Jaehwan and Sanghyuk by the coffee machine, apparently bickering over something. "Sanghyuk is welcome too, if he wishes. I'm sure Hakyeon would not mind, but we might put him on a trial, of sorts." Taekwoon smiled a little as he spoke.  
  
“I don’t think…” Hongbin’s voice trailed off, though frowned, eyes returning to Taekwoon. “Is… Is it possible to be with you, but not join your pack?”   
  
Taekwoon blinked. “Of course.”   
  
Hongbin nodded, looking down at the table. He felt Taekwoon’s thumb glide against his in comfort, the magic giving little zings of affection that made his heart feel unsteady. He figured this would take some getting used to. “I want to take it slow. If everything goes too fast I… think I’ll bail, or something. It’s a… it’s a big thing, this.” He gazed down at their hands, and back up to Taekwoon’s face, which had softened.   
  
“We’ll take it as slow as you like.”   
  
“Really? You don’t mind?”   
  
“Of course not. But I…” Taekwoon frowned briefly, as if thinking of how to word what he wanted to say. “I don’t think I cannot last very long without you, now that we’ve met officially. We can take it slow, but we also cannot date casually, the magic will eat us up.”   
  
“So you mean…”   
  
“We have to see each other often.”   
  
Hongbin nodded, a wordless: _of course._ It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see Taekwoon often, it was probably going to be even better for him if he did see him.

“Okay. I’m okay with that.” Hongbin replied slowly, giving a nod. Taekwoon’s features softened, a slight twinkle behind his eyes. Hongbin found himself smiling at it too. He offered a soft smile in return, almost in defeat. He gazed down at their linked hands, before Taekwoon spoke again.   
  
“So you are alright with me starting a pack?” Taekwoon asked softly, his tone concerned, like he really needed Hongbin’s validation. Hongbin’s face softened a little at the thought.   
  
“Well I… yes, of course.” Hongbin said quietly. Taekwoon nodded, mostly to himself, giving a small sigh of relief.   
  
“Since you do not wish to join it, Hakyeon will be head omega.”   
  
“Even if I did join the pack, I think I would prefer it that way.” Hongbin replied honestly, gazing up at Taekwoon. Taekwoon hummed in response, eyes gazing off out the window.   
  
“Hakyeon was the head omega in our pack in the wild.”   
  
“Oh… so… Hakyeon’s soulmate was the leader of your pack?”   
  
Taekwoon nodded.   
  
Hongbin didn’t know if he was beginning to march into dangerous territory, though asked cautiously: “What happened to him?”  
  
Taekwoon blinked slowly, a slight frown on his face. “It was a pack war, a larger pack came to invade the territory, and rather than standing down, Ravi fought for the territory he earned. As you can imagine, it didn’t end well. As soon as Ravi lost, I took Hakyeon and fled.”   
  
“Hakyeon… must have been…” Hongbin’s voice trailed off, and Hongbin had a surge of fear, as if realising Taekwoon was mortal and that he could potentially lose him. He didn’t want to lose Taekwoon. He squeezed Taekwoon’s hand, his subconscious needing reassurance he was still there. He swallowed.   
  
Taekwoon remained silent and his eyes dropped to the table. After a while, Taekwoon inhaled sharply to speak. “I forcibly took him.” His voice was a little shaky. “I’d promised Ravi if anything were to happen, I’d get him out of there. Hakyeon was ready to… to die with him.”   
  
Hongbin frowned, the corners of his lips twitching down. “It must of been hard for you.”   
  
“It was hard, but nothing compared to what Hakyeon went through …. is going through.”   
  
“Is he getting better?” Hongbin asked hopefully.   
  
“I don’t think so. He’s just gotten better at hiding it. He is very strong, but also very broken.”   
  
“I think… I think I understand… why he hasn’t gotten over it.” Hongbin said thoughtfully, looking up into Taekwoon’s eyes. He was brooding and intense, but there was certainly a softness, a gentleness to him. His eyes had a small shimmer as his full cheeks raised in a small, bittersweet smile.   
  
“Yes. I do too.” Taekwoon replied and he squeezed Hongbin’s hand gently. A spark of magic went through him.  
  
“Drinks for the happy couple!” Jaehwan suddenly appeared, and Hongbin was startled out of what he realised was the captivation of Taekwoon’s company. He blinked, gazing up at Jaehwan who was placing two drinks down at the table. 

“Thanks…” Hongbin had forgotten his name already, feeling his eyes slide down to Jaehwan’s name tag. “... Jaehwan.”  
  
Jaehwan grinned, and it was friendly, charming. Hongbin found himself smiling back. Taekwoon muttered a small thank you, sipping the drink slowly before putting it down. Jaehwan left, and Hongbin’s attention returned to his soulmate, smiling softly as he looked down at his Mocha, warm in his hands.   
  
“What do you do for a living, Taekwoon?” He asked, face curious.   
  
Taekwoon licked the froth off his lip before he replied, gazing down at his coffee with a fond expression. “Day care. I work with kids. I also work at this coffee shop.”   
  
“You like kids?” Hongbin smiled at the thought; a tall broad and brooding man with a soft spot for cute things. It was just like Hakyeon had mentioned. “And kittens?”   
  
Taekwoon looked a little shy, but he nodded, hiding what Hongbin noticed as a small smile by drinking more of his latte. Hongbin just looked down in thought before Taekwoon spoke again: “And you?”   
  
“I just work at a fast food restaurant. I don’t like it very much, but it pays my rent.” Hongbin did a one-shouldered shrug, sipping the Mocha himself, his eyes lighting up. Oh, it was good. Jaehwan was a good barista. Taekwoon smiled at the sight. It was strange, meeting for the first time; Hongbin was admittedly awkward with strangers, but a conversation with Taekwoon was like catching up with an old friend, but with more kissing. Hongbin almost choked on his own coffee at the thought.   
  
“So-- um,” Hongbin gave a shy little smile, his thumb rubbing against the glass, fidgety. His hand wanted to be in Taekwoon’s again. The warmth wasn’t the same. “What do you know about Soul bonds?”   
  
“I know that… no two are the same. I’ve heard that in some Soulbonds, it is possible to speak to each other telepathically. I know Hakyeon and Ravi had the ability to send strings of images into each other’s minds. Some can do so with memories, other's smells, sounds, tastes… you find more soulbonds in the wild, than you do in the city.”   
  
“So, so far, we can send emotions through…” Hongbin blinks slowly, before reaching over for a toothpick. “I wonder…”   
  
“What are you doing.” Taekwoon blurted: it was like he could _feel_ Hongbin’s mischievous intent. Maybe he could; Hongbin wasn’t sure.   
  
“Experimenting,” came Hongbin’s reply, eyes flickering up to a frowning Taekwoon. He pointed the toothpick at his palm. He concentrated on an emotion, relying on his instinct and magic to push his conscious into Taekwoon’s head, and Taekwoon’s eyes fluttered, receiving it. Then, Hongbin jabbed the toothpick into his own palm, and Taekwoon flinched straight afterwards, his own hand jumping off the table and looking down onto it, eyes incredulous.   
  
“Sorry,” Hongbin replied, but his eyes were full of interest, like a scientist dissecting a frog. “I was curious.”   
  
“You could have warned me.” Taekwoon mumbled, rubbing his palm, though didn’t seem to bothered as much as he was curious. Hongbin hummed.   
  
“So we can share pain, if our consciousnesses are linked.” Hongbin confirmed. “If it’s not, we just feel the other’s emotion, right?”   
  
Taekwoon nodded, hand returning to his coffee. “It would be helpful, if it was not used for hurting each other with toothpicks.”   
  
Hongbin snorted, placing the toothpick on the saucer. “Sorry.” He tilted his head apologetically, looking back up at Taekwoon. “It might come in use though, in case of an emergency.”   
  
Taekwoon frowned, squinting disapprovingly. “I do not like thinking about that.”   
  
Hongbin sighed. “Neither.”  
  
Taekwoon looked down at his watch, and while Taekwoon’s face was not expressive, Hongbin noticed the subtle changes; disappointment. “I…” Taekwoon whispered softly, voice full of dread. “I have to go, I am working today. I would have cancelled but I have appointments with parents...” He hung his head, looking utterly crushed. The expression was oddly cute to Hongbin; it was like a puppy being denied food.   
  
“Oh.” Hongbin looked down at his unfinished mocha, his heart sinking. “It’s okay. I mean, we’re going to take it slow, right? So this was our first date, of sorts.” Taekwoon looked up, face smoothing out a little in appreciation. Taekwoon was then taking out his phone, passing it over to Hongbin and poking his finger onto the screen.   
  
“Add your number.” He said, and Hongbin nodded, obediently typing his number into his contacts. Giving back his phone, they both went to stand, and found themselves flush together again in a hug. Hongbin squeezed his torso perhaps a little too hard and buried his face in Taekwoon’s sweater. He smelled nice, Hongbin fondly wondered if he had put on nice cologne especially. He smiled at the thought.   
  
They broke apart, just a little, for Taekwoon to mumble near Hongbin’s ear - “I will see you soon.” - followed by a brief kiss on Hongbin’s cheek bone. Even up close, Taekwoon was so pretty, and he found himself staring.   
  
Hongbin’s heart stuttered as they broke apart, managing nothing other than a quiet: “Yeah.”   
  
Taekwoon smiled fondly, squeezing Hongbin’s hand, and the magic burned through his veins, full of dread and anxiety as their hands parted. It was hard, watching Taekwoon’s back go to turn, and a moment of panic coursed through him, finding himself grab Taekwoon’s wrist and pulling him back.   
  
“Taekwoon.” Hongbin blurted, with more clarity in his voice than he expected. “Ring me. After your shift, okay? I… like your voice.”   
  
Taekwoon smiled, and it was fond, _so fond_. Hongbin felt lucky to be the recipient of it, to be the one to be bonded to him: the thought made him cringe inwardly. He hated being cheesy.   
  
“Okay,” Taekwoon replied, in the sweet voice he had. He leant in, kissing him this time on the lips, a simple press that had Hongbin wanting more before parting. He watched Taekwoon leave, the conscious link slowly getting weaker as he left. The magic and emotion left him exhausted, having to take a seat as Jaehwan flipped the sign on the front door from Closed to Open.   
  
Hongbin’s phone suddenly vibrated, and he jolted, taking it out and seeing he was texted by a someone not in his contacts. Reading the text, he smiled though, realising who it was. _Same time tomorrow?_   
  


  


 

  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But you... you made me live this hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, Biting

  
Taekwoon stepped onto his porch, the automatic light turning on in greeting. His shift had ended at five, so the sun was hanging low in the sky, looking as exhausted by the long day as Taekwoon was. His head hummed a little with pain from the constant string of yelling children - while he didn’t mind it at the time, it was always later when he could still hear it did the headaches come. He frowned, wondering if Hongbin could feel something, though as Taekwoon gently prodded into the other’s distant consciousness, he realised the path was blocked. Hongbin was asleep, Taekwoon figured. He supposed today would have been emotionally intensive for him as well. He unlocked the door and shuffled inside, closing the door behind him.  
  
His head, however, still throbbed, so whilst rubbing the back of his head, he went down the hallway and into the kitchen, only to find Hakyeon. Hakyeon was bent over onto the countertop next to abandoned half-sliced vegetables, head tucked into his folded arms as if trying to compose himself.  
  
Taekwoon swallowed, slowly approaching him. “Hakyeon?” His voice was wary, and Hakyeon’s arms slowly unfolded, his entire body appearing fragile, shaky. He swallowed, his hands now gripping the counter, maybe too hard, his knuckles white. He drew a long breath before exhaling, and Taekwoon was in awe with how Hakyeon has always somehow composed himself. Slowly, he turned towards Taekwoon, one hand still on the counter, a trembling hand holding onto it as if it were his life support.  
  
“Hakyeon.” Taekwoon said again, gentle. He could see his face twitching, see the tears in his eyes, see the sadness curl his lips downwards. It had been two years, and yet…  
  
“I can feel it.” Hakyeon said quietly. “Your magic, your… your bond magic.”  
  
“Ah.” Taekwoon’s heart swooped with dread.  
  
“It’s like… I… It’s like I can feel him, I felt him, when you came in, and my… it was like he… I thought...” Hakyeon’s hand had raised in an exasperated flourish that quickly dropped. Hakyeon grimaced, his head ducking in anguish. He couldn’t speak, and his hands found themselves cupping his own eyes as he sobbed brokenly. He looked so small, so fragile. Taekwoon slowly wrapped his arms around him, nestling the man into his chest.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon whispered, and wincing as Hakyeon broke down into his chest.  
  
Hakyeon gripped onto his shirt and he could feel the familiar Soulbond aura. It wasn’t the same, but after so long Hakyeon was desperate to experience it again, even if it were a sampling, something small, he… but it wasn’t the same. Taekwoon was too broad, his hugs too gentle where Ravi was strong and sometimes suffocating in his affection. Taekwoon hugged Hakyeon like he was made of glass, and Hakyeon appreciated the sentiment, but he missed being hugged with such unrestrained emotion.

Hakyeon missed hugging Ravi. He missed Ravi. He missed when he could smile, could stand with his head tall, could look at himself in the mirror and feel confident, instead of trying to make himself look presentable but seeing the cracks, the holes where Ravi left him empty. He was like a complete jigsaw puzzle. He could see himself, the picture, but there was no mistaking the cracks; the edges in-between. He’d put himself back together, but he would never be the same. He was incomplete, he was left with only half his soul.  
  
He didn’t know how many times more he would have to say _I’m okay_ before he actually believed it.  
  
He sobbed once more in Taekwoon’s arms, only to push him away and turn away, roughly, eyes red and swollen and blotchy. His throat was thick and sore and Taekwoon was left standing there. Hakyeon stumbled, a trembling hand raising to his mouth before he winced. “I love him.” Hakyeon confessed through his fingers before lowering them. “I love him so much.” _Still present tense,_ Hakyeon thought to himself. _He’s not coming back. He’ll never come back._  
  
“I wish I died with him.” Hakyeon swallowed, and the silence was so heavy it was as if gravity itself pulled down onto him harder slumping his shoulders, his knees trembling under the weight. “Actually I--I did, I died with him. But you… you made me live this hell.”  
  
“I promised Ra--”  
  
“Ravi, Ravi is dead.” Hakyeon choked.  
  
“I know.” Taekwoon’s voice was void of emotion. Hakyeon hated that, sometimes. How Taekwoon could so easily keep himself in, not let anything out, not let anyone read his thoughts, if he didn’t want them to.  
  
“I thought, with your Soulbond magic stronger, when you opened the door, it was him. He’d come back home.” Hakyeon now leant against the countertop, his eyes still watery, though his voice was that little bit more stable. “Every day, my consciousness has to remind itself that I won’t come home to Ravi, I won’t wake up to his smile. Every morning, I lay with my eyes closed and hope, hope it was a nightmare, but I open them and the bed is always empty. Always… _always_ …” His voice trailed off, and his eyes went somewhere distant, before he winced again. “I’m so fucked.” He whispered. He looked up at Taekwoon in fear.  
  
“Hakyeon…”  
  
Hakyeon’s hands dropped to his sides with a resigned, trembling sigh. “I need some fresh air. Please… please come with me.” He turned, heading to the balcony.  
  
Taekwoon nodded, throat dry. Every once and awhile, Hakyeon broke down like this, blamed him for everything, before calming down and apologizing.   
  
The cycle was vicious, but Taekwoon understood. And every time, Taekwoon, a bleeding heart, followed him, sliding the balcony door behind him with a soft click. Hakyeon had taken his lighter out of his pocket, and a cigarette from the small table before collapsing into one of the chairs. Dark rings weighed down Hakyeon’s cheeks; he was tired. Exhausted. Taekwoon slowly sat down next to him, taking a cigarette as well. Hakyeon’s hands were shaking too much to turn on the lighter, so Taekwoon reached over, putting his hand over Hakyeon’s and flicked it, bringing the flame over to the end of Hakyeon’s cigarette. Hakyeon muttered a small thank you, sucking in as Taekwoon lit his own cigarette. His nose scrunched unpleasantly at the taste. He didn’t smoke as much as he used to, and now the taste was terrible.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Hakyeon finally apologized, as usually happened once he had had some calming drags of smoke. “I always do this.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Taekwoon said softly, as he always did.  
  
Hakyeon’s head tilted up to the darkening sky, the smog ruining the sunset; or perhaps he just couldn’t see the beauty in things anymore. His own sun was gone, the only thing that lit up his surroundings. He sighed at the thought.  
  
“What should I do, Taekwoon? Nothing is working. Nothing is… getting better. I don’t want to drink, I don’t want to forget, I want to be able to… look back at it with fondness. I want to remember R… Ravi and feel warm inside. Not bitter pain.”  
  
Taekwoon took another drag, before finding that the taste was so foul he couldn’t have another one. He pressed the ignited end into the ash tray. Leaning back on the chair, he sighed, shoulders slumped. He rubbed his head, and frowned as he felt his phone vibrate. Hongbin must have woken up. Slowly, he checked his phone, squinting through the light.  
  
_Are you okay? Or am I just misinterpreting?  
  
I am okay. Hakyeon is not.  
  
Oh…_  
  
Hakyeon’s voice cut in. “Hongbin?” Taekwoon snapped out of his concentration to look over to Hakyeon. Taekwoon lowered his phone with a small hum of affirmation. Hakyeon wanted to tell him, fondly, that he was surprised that they were able to part, for the first time he and Ravi met, they were so high of the magic they found themselves making love that night for hours. The memory, though, only twisted the knife into him further, and he cringed. Taekwoon’s eyes lowered, and a soft sigh escaped from him.  
  
“I won’t bring him over.” Taekwoon said quietly. “If it is too hard for you to be around the magic.”  
  
“I will be around you both whether I am at work or whether I am at home. There isn’t any avoiding it.” Hakyeon shook his head slightly, and frowned as he took another drag. “I will adjust. I always do.”  
  
_Do you really?_ Was all Taekwoon could think. His phone buzzed again.  
  
_You’re troubled. Talk to me about it later.  
  
Okay._  
  
“Did you have a nice time? With him.” Hakyeon asked, finishing his cigarette and already reaching for another one. Taekwoon nodded slowly, and Hakyeon’s lip quirked in a small smile. “He’s pretty. I didn’t expect you to be into the flower boys. He always looks so alarmed though, so perpetually frightened.”  
  
“Who did you expect me to be into?” Taekwoon squinted: Hakyeon looked thoughtful.  
  
“Honestly? Girls. Chatty ones, so you don’t have to talk much, just nod and shake your head at the right times.” Hakyeon seemed amused by that. Taekwoon huffed.  
  
“So a female version of you?” Taekwoon retorted, and Hakyeon gave a small laugh, his teeth peeking through his lips.  
  
“I suppose I used to be chatty.” He mused, gaze distant in thought.  
  
A silence rang between them. Hakyeon was right, he did used to be chatty, his mouth never seemed to stop at one point. Though now, he was quiet, and the thought made him frown deeply.  
  
“I’m sorry, Taekwoon.” Hakyeon apologized, sucking in a breath shakily. “You’re the only person I have, and I take it out on you. I’m glad you… you found your Soulmate. Hold onto him, don’t let him go.”  
  
Taekwoon gave a small little nod, fidgeting as he picked at his pants. “When we start our pack… you’ll be around people who love you.” He began quietly.  
  
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to experienc--”  
  
“I’m not saying romantic love, Hakyeon.”  
  
Hakyeon’s lips pressed together in a thin line, frowning as he looked down at the table. “Maybe.” He mumbled. Something in his eyes shuttered, like he was suppressing something, and it exhausted Taekwoon to his bones.   
  
He felt heavy as he then raised from his seat, phone in his hand as he left the balcony. He sighed, entering the kitchen and taking a painkiller. Taekwoon understood that Hakyeon had a reason to be this way, knew that he couldn’t help it, though every time this happened, Taekwoon felt exhausted. Like Hakyeon had yanked a piece out of him and then just thrown it back at him, slightly off kilter. He sighed, waiting for the painkiller to kick in before calling Hongbin, returning to his room.  
  
“Hello,” Hongbin’s voice rang out. Taekwoon found himself collapsing onto the bed. Hongbin’s voice was surprisingly deep, slightly quavering yet charming. Taekwoon smiled at the sound.  
  
“Hello,” Taekwoon sighed softly, putting the phone on speaker and setting it on the side table.  
  
“I… I think I could feel you. It feels like I’m sad but I don’t know why, it just comes over me. I think that’s you, is it?”  
  
Taekwoon blinked slowly, frowning briefly as he sat up a little. “Perhaps.”  
  
“What’s wrong, Taekwoon?”  
  
Taekwoon just looked down and away, picking at the fluff of his blanket. He didn’t…  
  
“You don’t want to talk about it?”  
  
Taekwoon oddly not unnerved about how Hongbin practically read his mind, shook his head. He then forgot Hongbin couldn’t see him. He hence voiced a small: “No.”  
  
“That’s alright… just know, when you do, I’m here.” Hongbin replied, and it was like there was magic in his very voice, floating onto him and sinking into his skin. It made him feel calm. Perhaps Hongbin was sending him emotions. He wasn’t sure, though relaxed despite it, sinking into the mattress again.  
  
“I want you to be here,” Taekwoon said softly, surprising himself with how needy he sounded. He frowned. “But you can’t.”  
  
“I can’t?”  
  
“Hakyeon… feels the bond magic surrounding us, and a part of him feels Ravi. It is unbearable for him.”  
  
“Oh…” Taekwoon could hear Hongbin’s voice trail off in thought. “Why don’t you come to my house, then? I don’t have much food, though, so we might just have to have noodles.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, gentle and fond. Even now, he felt the pull of magic, knowing exactly in what direction Hongbin was in, as his entire entity was trying to nudge himself towards him. He closed his eyes and gave a soft sigh, he would love to. Hongbin was now what his world revolved around. Now having met him, it felt like a part of himself was missing, like he couldn’t truly think properly. He wanted to go, but… Hakyeon. He sighed again, sitting up and frowning. Hongbin remained silent.  
  
“I… want to.” Taekwoon said softly. “I’m worried about Hakyeon. I don’t want to seem like I’m bailing on him, and I’d like to watch him for tonight.”  
  
Hongbin didn’t say anything for a little while, obviously wondering what they could do instead. He sighed softly. “It can’t be help--”  
  
There was a small, quiet knock on Taekwoon’s door. Taekwoon jumped a little, though Hakyeon didn’t wait for Taekwoon to say anything before he opened the door, used to Taekwoon being so taciturn. Hakyeon looked terribly exhausted, but, he smiled tiredly “I overheard.” He said plainly, and Taekwoon looked away almost shamefully. “Go to him, spend the night with him. I’ll be fine.”  
  
Taekwoon looked back up, a little surprised. “But you’re --”  
  
“I know what it’s like,” Hakyeon said softly, his hand still on the doorknob, his fingers visibly shaking. “I know what it’s like… thank you for thinking of me, but, this is a Soulbond Taekwoon, don’t hold yourself back from the greatest gift you can be given.”  
  
Hakyeon’s smile was so bittersweet, that Taekwoon lifted himself off the bed and strode over. He took Hakyeon’s hand that he was using to support himself on the door and brought Hakyeon into his arms in a secure hug. “Thank you.” Taekwoon whispered as Hakyeon wordlessly pressed against him. He held Hakyeon for a few moments, as Hakyeon felt so fragile in that moment, and Taekwoon held him to prevent him from crumbling. Finally, with a small sigh, Hakyeon broke away, looking a little better.  
  
“Thank you.” Hakyeon replied, swallowing thickly, only to frown as he seemingly pulled himself together, looking up at him. “Hey,” he then said, hitting Taekwoon’s side lightly, who flinched in surprise. “Go off and see him, love bird.”  
  
Taekwoon stared, and Hakyeon gave a small smile that was a ghost of his previous self. Regardless, he nodded, scampering to get his phone. He could feel Hakyeon’s gaze on him as Taekwoon quietly told Hongbin that he would be over. They ended the call with Taekwoon thinking that Hongbin sounded the happiest he’d heard him, and with a new text with Hongbin’s address. Taekwoon turned back to Hakyeon and stilled. He swallowed, taking his wallet from the top of the drawer, and then pressed a kiss to Hakyeon’s temple.  
  
“Thank you.” Taekwoon whispered, his voice quiet but so sincere. He squeezed Hakyeon’s hand as he went to walk past. “Please ring me if you need anything.”  
  
“I will.” Hakyeon whispered softly.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hongbin had opened the door before Taekwoon even had the chance to knock. The magic had been bubbling up inside him, stirring happily as the bond between them drew closer. He had known, despite not having heard or seen, that Taekwoon was just outside his front door.  
  
He looked up, and smiled to see Taekwoon’s gentle face. Wordlessly, he opened the door for Taekwoon to come in, and he almost shuddered with how Taekwoon’s sleeve brushed against his hip as he walked past and slipped his shoes off. Even then, there was a faint zap.  
  
Standing in the hallway together, Taekwoon stopped to look at Hongbin, who suddenly found the hallway very narrow indeed. He swallowed, as he realised now he was very much alone with the man, but he should also say something.  
  
“Hello,” He said dumbly.  
  
It still unnerved Hongbin how soft Taekwoon’s voice was every time he spoke. “Hello, Hongbin.” Taekwoon’s hand raised just so, fingers a little outstretched, and Hongbin knew somehow to take it. His hand was warm. Taekwoon’s smile was so gentle, so fond. “Care to show me around?”  
  
It spurred Hongbin into action. “Oh, uh, yeah. Of course.” The magic coursing between their linked hands made Hongbin feel a little buzzy, like he had taken enough coffee for his hands to shake. It wasn’t a bad feeling by any means, but supposed he would have to get used to the sensation.  
  
He lead Taekwoon, the big brooding Alpha more like a puppy as he was lead around the house, being shown the kitchen, the lounge-room, the bathroom, the bedroom. It was a small unit, a university dormitory for one, but it was snug, and Hongbin was happy. Taekwoon’s eyes looked around interestedly, before stopping to look at photos hung on the wall of the living room. Their hands were still linked, and Taekwoon kept squeezing gently every so often. It was a pleasant feeling to touch him, but the magic loomed onto him so thick made it difficult to breathe.  
  
“Your parents?” He said softly, looking at the photos. Hongbin nodded.  
  
“They’re overseas, working abroad. I don’t talk to them much. I talk to my grandmother more.”  
  
Taekwoon didn’t say anything, but looked back at Hongbin. He straightened up a little, and their hands dropped back to their sides. “How are you feeling?”  
  
The question caught Hongbin off guard. He was able to talk to Taekwoon on the phone well, but now he was here, in an enclosed space, the magic dense through the room… he could barely string words together. “I’m feeling… I’m feeling a little overwhelmed, to be honest.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face crumpled into one of concern, and he took a step forward and reached his hand, but Hongbin flinched. Taekwoon stopped immediately, dropping his hand.  
  
“I’m sorry. Perhaps I should not of co—“  
  
“No.” Hongbin blurted. He smiled, but it felt weak. “It’s just, now that you’re here, now that we’re alone, it’s all sinking in I guess, I’m not used to the magic. You… you feel it too, don’t you?”  
  
Taekwoon nodded, and Hongbin felt a little relieved, at least. He attempted to relax, control his breathing, think about the fact that he had a guest in his house. Think of him as a guest, not a stranger who he met today. A guest. His friend, his Soulmate.  
  
Could he even consider them friends at this point? He supposed so. It’s not like he could put a name to anything else besides Soulmate. Hongbin sighed, running his hand through his hair and scratching the back of his neck. _When you have guests in your home,_ Hongbin could hear his grandmother say, _you feed them._  
  
“Are you hungry?” Hongbin asked, and Taekwoon looked guilty. It was cute.  
  
“A little.”  
  
“As I said on the phone, I only have instant noodles and snacks, is that okay? I really need to go grocery shopping, and-“  
  
“Hongbin.” Hongbin’s rambling came to a stop, and he looked up. Hongbin saw perhaps the kindest smile he had ever seen towards him. Taekwoon “It’s fine.”  
  
Hongbin just nodded, sheepishly, turning to go to the kitchen, though felt Taekwoon following him regardless. He was like a lost puppy, though Hongbin supposed he could feel that twinge of discomfort every time either one of them took a step away from the other.  
  
“Do you like a lot of flavouring?” Hongbin asked, taking a saucepan out of the cupboard, then two bowls.  
  
“No, not too much.”  
  
“Same with me. We should just make a big batch then.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, and Hongbin thought it was so pretty, the way his cheeks bunched up like that.  
  
He began to make the boil the noodles, sifting through them with a fork. Taekwoon stood beside him, resting his lower back against the edge of the counter. Hongbin was beginning to realise the man didn’t talk too much; it didn’t seem out of awkwardness or shyness, but it was just how he was. The silences were comfortable, and welcome. Hongbin liked it.  
  
Eventually, feeling a little more adjusted to the magic, Hongbin spoke. “So uh,” He began eloquently, “is Hakyeon okay?”  
  
Taekwoon frowned. “No,” He replied softly, and Hongbin didn’t think he was going to elaborate until he eventually spoke again. “As you know, Hakyeon lost his Soulmate, so he has never really been okay after that.”  
  
Hongbin just nodded. He had only officially known Taekwoon for a day but, he was scared of the consequences if the magic seeping around them and into their bones was somehow broken and split. Hongbin wasn’t even technically bonded with the man, and yet to think about it breaking… it made him cringe.  
  
“I suppose there’s not much you can do…” Hongbin murmured. Taekwoon just shook his head.  
  
“His magic is especially potent, as is mine.” Taekwoon whispered, and Hongbin looked up in question, lowering his fork. Taekwoon looked at him, and with a small smile he explained, “I’m a shifter.”  
  
Hongbin’s eyes widened, almost dropping his spoon. “You’re a shifter?” He hissed, as if there were other people in the room. He then looked away, mumbling, “well I suppose you did say you were from the wild…”  
  
Taekwoon just laughed softly, nodding. His smile then twisted, perhaps a little rueful. “When someone’s magic is more potent, the effects of magic can be much more devastating. If someone has more magic to destroy, it’ll affect the person more.”  
  
Hongbin blinks. “That makes sense, is that, is that also why I can feel your magic in the room? Why Sanghyuk was scared of you?”  
  
Taekwoon nodded a little, though frowned. “Those are different types of magic. What you feel is our bond magic, beginning to weave us together spiritually every time we come close, what Sanghyuk felt is… the magic I have from my Alpha caste. Since I’m a shifter it is naturally stronger, so my Alpha magic is more powerful than the average city Alpha.”  
  
“Ah,” Hongbin replied. “And I suppose Sanghyuk would be more effected by it, since he’s a late bloomer, so he’s—“  
  
“Not used to it, yes, the feeling of…” Taekwoon looked away, perhaps trying to think of a word. “competition, I suppose you could say. A rival or a threat.”  
  
Hongbin smiled a little. “You’re not really too threatening.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face softened, and Hongbin was then suddenly very focused on the noodles. Taekwoon was really cute, and Hongbin hated the way it made his cheeks feel warm. Taekwoon looked at him and it was almost sappy. It made Hongbin’s nose wrinkle.  
  
“How big is your wolf form?” Hongbin then blurted, a little while later. He’d never seen a shifted wolf.  
  
“Think a wolf.” Taekwoon began, looking down and frowning. “But,”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“No. I look exactly the same as a normal wolf.” Hongbin actually laughed, and Taekwoon joined him, albeit much softer. Taekwoon then poked his cheek, and Hongbin flinched, looking up from the noodles. “You have dimples.” He pointed out innocently.  
  
“What?” Hongbin touched his own dimples, as if only just realising they were there. “Oh — yeah, I do.”  
  
“They’re cute.” Taekwoon murmured.  
  
Hongbin huffed and began to pour the noodles into the bowls. The noise drowned out Taekwoon’s little puff of laughter.  
  
“When you shift,” Hongbin began again, sliding Taekwoon his noodles and handing him chopsticks. “Does your clothes shift with you? Or does your clothes slip off your wolf form, so when you change back you’re naked?”  
  
“I’m naked.” Taekwoon replied simply, picking up the bowl with one hand and taking his first bite.  
  
Hongbin gave a fake pout. “So, no magical clothes?”  
  
Taekwoon gave him a small glance up from his bowl, an amused glint in his eye. “No magical clothes.”  
  
Taekwoon was cute, while he ate. His cheeks bunched up and his lips pursed. It reminded Hongbin of a hamster. He found himself grinning into his food.  
  
“What,”  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“I felt amusement. That was you, you’re making fun of me.”  
  
“Am not.” Hongbin retorted, though the burst of laughter proved otherwise. He looked up to see Taekwoon flaring his nostrils, pink lips pouting, cheeks bulging with food. Oh god— Hongbin thought, filled with dread. This man is adorable. Hongbin ended up resting his bowl on the counter, obviously resigned. He rested his hand on the counter instead, leaning against it. “Fine. I was just thinking that you resemble a hamster.”  
  
Taekwoon squinted. Hongbin probably would have been nervous if it hadn’t been for the fact they were bonded. The magic wasn’t unhappy with the situation at all, which meant Taekwoon wasn’t actually offended. Finally, Taekwoon sighed. It sounded so burdened. “Haven’t heard that in a while.”  
  
Hongbin actually snorted.  
  
They continued to eat quietly, and again, the lack of conversation never seemed awkward. Eventually Hongbin finished, putting the bowl in the sink, and it wasn’t much later until Taekwoon did as well. Hongbin rinsed the bowls as he spoke. “Were you born in the wild?”  
  
“No, I was not.” Taekwoon said quietly. “I was introduced to the wild at a young age, however, which is why I do not have any degrees or a high school diploma.”  
  
“Ah.” Hongbin replied, looking up. “So I’m guessing Hakyeon…”  
  
“Hakyeon was very on and off for a time. We met when we were young teenagers, but Hakyeon left the wild to go to university. When he came back to my pack, he immediately Soulbonded to Ravi, and Ravi then became the head Alpha, so he stayed.”  
  
“Until Ravi…” died. But if felt poor taste to say that. Taekwoon understood, and nodded. Hongbin looked down, solemnly, the silence between them a little grim. Hongbin swallowed, willing himself to change the subject.  
  
“Should we move to the couch?” Hongbin asked, already making his way over. Taekwoon followed, and Hongbin heard his little shuffle of feet. Hongbin collapsed onto the couch, adjusting one of the cushions as he habitually tucked his feet up under himself. Taekwoon sat next to him, their shoulders brushing as Hongbin picked up the remote and turned the television on. “What kind of movies do you like?”  
  
Hongbin gazed up and met Taekwoon’s eyes, and realised how close they now were. If he had been any closer their noses would have brushed. It excited the magic, though made him nervous, the magic created an odd, jittery feeling that made him on edge. Taekwoon took a little to answer, and Hongbin wondered if he was feeling the same thing.  
  
His voice seemed a little vacant as he answered: “I… I am not fond of action movies.” It was as if the eye contact made him a little self conscious, and Taekwoon looked away. “I just like anything with a good plot.”  
  
“Me too.” Hongbin replied, and Taekwoon gave a small smile. He looked so soft, so lovely like this. Taekwoon’s eyelashes slanted down almost shyly, so Hongbin leant over and pressed his lips gently against Taekwoon’s cheekbone. The magic sparked in his heart, delighted. Taekwoon blinked up at him, obviously taken aback. Hongbin was nervous, so nervous, lifting his hand to Taekwoon’s face. “The magic—“ No, it wasn’t just the magic, it was Hongbin too. “I— I like it— it feels nice when I touch you. Can I?”  
  
It took barely a second for Taekwoon to reply. “Yes.”  
  
Hongbin raised his hand to caress Taekwoon’s cheek with his fingertips and there was immediately a tingling of electricity between them. Taekwoon’s skin was white and soft despite his time in the wild, but Hongbin noticed a small scar just below his cheekbone. His fingers trailed down to his jaw, and Hongbin’s fingers shook as he rested his palm against it, now cupping Taekwoon’s cheeks with both hands. His jaw was sharp, despite his rounded face, and Hongbin’s gaze now fell to his lips, curved and pink, soft as he knew they felt. Taekwoon leant in, and he could feel the bond magic threading through them, humming with excitement with how close they were. Taekwoon’s eyelids were heavy, and their noses brushed.  
  
“I would like to kiss you,” whispered Taekwoon, mouth ghosting Hongbin’s lips. “Can I?”  
  
“Yes,” Hongbin breathed, and then Taekwoon’s lips pressed against his, mouth slightly parted. Taekwoon’s hands took Hongbin’s hips, fingers sturdy and sure. Hongbin’s hands relocated to Taekwoon’s shoulders, bunching the fabric of his coat. The magic surged through them like an electric current, sending goosebumps up Hongbin’s arms and down his back.  
  
Their mouths moved gently together, like they had all the time in the world, and Hongbin was melting under Taekwoon. His kisses were so soft, so sure, holding Hongbin so preciously. Taekwoon was gentle, and a part of Hongbin was surprised. There was no rough-housing, no mistreatment. Taekwoon was treating him as someone he loved, not someone he owned or claimed. Hongbin shuddered with emotion at the thought. Sanghyuk was right. Taekwoon was made for him.  
  
Taekwoon must have felt Hongbin shaking, because he pulled away in concern, their noses brushed. Taekwoon looked at him. “Are you alright?”  
  
Hongbin nodded, smiling tight-lipped, a dimple creasing his cheek. He felt so overwhelmed, by the magic, by his own emotions. He hugged Taekwoon then, ducking his head into his neck, wrapping his arms around him and tugging him close to his chest. Taekwoon held him in response, pliant as he always seemed to be. Taekwoon felt so nice like this, their hugs feeling as if their bodies were made with the sole purpose to be pressed against each other. Perhaps they were.  
  
Hongbin shuddered again, nose pressed against Taekwoon’s neck. He smelled nice, and he was warm. The magic hummed comfortably between them, so content. Hongbin was content. “I like you.” He finally confessed, his voice shaky.  
  
He heard Taekwoon inhale sharply through his nose, his arms hugging Hongbin closer, tighter, gentle yet firm. Hongbin felt a gentle kiss to his shoulder. “I like you too.”  
  
He broke away, eventually, the magic going jittery again, restless. Like it wanted to be back against Taekwoon, feeling safe and secure. Hongbin swallowed; he supposed in a way that was something he feared, becoming dependant of an Alpha, but perhaps… “Do you feel it, too? The magic gets upset when we part even a little bit.”  
  
“Of course.” Taekwoon replied, and it relieved Hongbin, a bit. “The bond is unstable because we have not mated, nor done a claiming. The magic is weaving together regardless, but it’s bouncing without direction.” His eyes flashed towards the juncture of his neck and shoulder before looking back up. It was an almost innocent gesture, but it unsettled Hongbin. A claim. An ownership of an Omega.  
  
“A claiming? You mean like…” Hongbin’s hand went to his neck, immediately nervous. He rubbed the smooth skin there, and looked down. He hadn’t thought too much about the claiming; for some reason the mating is the part he had thought about the most. He swallowed, shakily, and Taekwoon took the underside of his forearm gently, his fingertips lightly rubbing against his skin. It was comforting, and Hongbin wanted to relax, but he was beginning to shake again. This was what he was afraid of. Being claimed, like an object. He didn’t want to be something to be owned. “I don’t think… I don’t want to… I don’t want to be claimed, I… don’t want… I’m not something to own, just because I’m an Omega… I…” His breathing picked up as he panicked, and Taekwoon took his face, cradling it between two palms, so gentle.  
  
“I was not planning for this to be a one-sided claiming.” Taekwoon said softly, and Hongbin looked up at him. Taekwoon looked unsettled, perhaps to see the fear in Hongbin’s eyes, and Taekwoon kissed between his brows, his nose, his lips. The feeling of such gentle affection calmed him some. “I am yours, Hongbin. I am _utterly_ yours.” Taekwoon whispered, his face so close, their noses brushing. “Our souls are connected, there is no way I could possibly claim you without you claiming me in turn.”  
  
“You mean…”  
  
“This ownership is completely two-sided. It isn’t the Alpha owning the Omega, but us belonging to each other, linking our souls to become one.”  
  
“But some… but some Alphas… claim their Omegas, but — it’s not the other way around, it’s never the other way around— it’s—“ Hongbin grimaced, tears welling up in his eyes. He tried to duck his head best he could while Taekwoon’s hands were cupping it.  
  
“If those Alphas and Omegas were Soulbonded but never claimed each other, it would always be incomplete. Until they are at a mutual ownership, the magic will never be at its strongest. The souls will never be able to join together completely if there is a power struggle. The Soulbond will suffer.” He tucked a strand of Hongbin’s hair behind his ear, and smiled so softly. “Besides, I want to be able to call myself yours. It is as if you are my source of gravity now; everything about me is pulled towards you.”  
  
“So… how do I make it so it’s… how do we join our souls?” Hongbin asked shakily. Taekwoon smiled, his hands dropping from his face to take Hongbin’s hands instead.  
  
“The magic does that for us, our bond magic is our soul, in a way, bouncing off one another. But we can spur it on, and make the magic stronger. So, in the claiming process, it means that you would bite me too.”  
  
“Ah,” Hongbin replied. He didn’t know what he should have expected, really, but it seemed obvious, now. He swallowed. “I haven’t—“  
  
Taekwoon squeezed his hands before he asked slowly: “Did you want to do it now?”  
  
Hongbin nodded. His hands were shaking. “Have you done it before? Have you had past mates?”  
  
“Yes,” Taekwoon replied honestly. “But they never worked out, obviously. I am glad they did not.”  
  
Hongbin gave a rueful smile. It felt selfish, but he replied: “I’m glad too.”  
  
Taekwoon only smiled in return: his eyes glittered. Hongbin liked that, when Taekwoon’s eyes shined.  
  
Taekwoon took off his coat, slinging it to the side. Hongbin watched him, a little nervous, but he had decided that the claiming was okay. He trusted Taekwoon. Somehow, he trusted him wholeheartedly. A part of him felt that he would be able to know if Taekwoon was lying or putting on a façade, like their bond magic would be able to feel deceit.  
  
Taekwoon was made for him. As he was made for Taekwoon. Perhaps that was what the claim was a physical reminder of.  
  
“Did you want to go first?” Taekwoon asked, eyes wide. His expression was so innocent.  
  
“I don’t know how to do it, I’ve never been… in this situation before,” Hongbin confessed, looking at Taekwoon’s neck. “I bite you where you shoulder and your neck meets, right? Do I just bite you? Or…”  
  
“Your instinct will take over once you bite me. You will know what to do once you begin to do it.”  
  
Hongbin thought that didn’t make sense. He wasn’t going to question it though, he didn’t understand a lot of how bond magic worked, Soulmate or otherwise. “Okay.” He finally answered, frowning a little.  
  
Taekwoon laughed fondly, ducking his head a little. He began to unbutton his shirt. “You’ll see. Just trust me.”  
  
“Okay.” And he meant it. He watched as Taekwoon undressed before him, how he didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest by revealing his naked torso. Hongbin supposed living in the wild for so long would have been a factor of that. Hongbin knelt up on the couch as Taekwoon lay himself down, propped up against the arm of the chair, completely relaxed.  
  
Taekwoon’s chest was broad like his shoulders, the line of his body sloping down to his slim hips. He was nice, very much so, and Hongbin found himself trailing his fingers down the expanse of skin without realising. He looked up at Taekwoon nervously as if asking for belated permission, but Taekwoon was already staring right at him, the gaze intense yet somehow, adoring. Like he could see inside Hongbin’s mind, his soul, and somehow loved everything he found. It made Hongbin feel hot, his fingers continuing their journey down Taekwoon’s chest and onto his stomach. He felt grooves across his skin, and on further inspection Hongbin realised they were scars. He frowned, a little, finding them too many for someone to have, and Taekwoon spoke up.  
  
“The ones on my back are worse, from the time I was mostly in wolf form.” His voice was gentle, not upset that Hongbin had noticed them and wordlessly acknowledged them. He frowned, just a little, as he added: “Do you find them ugly?”  
  
“No,” Hongbin replied immediately, sincere. He leant down, kissing one of the scars across his chest. He gazed down at it while he said, “scars aren’t ugly, they are marks of victory, in a way.”  
  
Taekwoon gave a small laugh of amusement. “I suppose you could say that.”  
  
“You endured something and survived,” Hongbin’s hands ran down his sides now, “to me, that’s a victory.”  
  
Taekwoon cupped the back of Hongbin’s thighs gently, and nudged him forwards. Hongbin complied, now straddling Taekwoon’s hips, and as he did so Taekwoon cupped his face, bringing him closer.  
  
“You are my victory.” Taekwoon murmured, his voice laced in so much sincerity it made Hongbin’s heart ache.  
  
Taekwoon’s chin tilted up, his eyes fluttering shut. Their lips met, the kiss slightly more open-mouthed than the last, more wanting. Taekwoon’s hands took Hongbin’s hips as Hongbin hovered over him, his forearms resting against Taekwoon’s chest to prop himself up. Hongbin tilted his head, kissing him at a different angle, and Taekwoon sucked Hongbin’s bottom lip into his mouth, biting and pulling just a little. It made his heart tremble in his chest; Taekwoon was being so gentle, even when he was taking control. It was obvious he was well experienced, and Hongbin trusted him enough to melt into him, kissing him almost passively, and finding himself enjoying it.  
  
Hongbin broke away, however, his lips wet and kiss-swollen, kissing his jaw, until he shuffled down to the juncture of his shoulder and neck. It smelled nice here; he could feel the magic hum under the skin, could feel it flowing through Taekwoon’s veins. It was potent, and his head was swimming with emotion, with magic, with Taekwoon. His arms winded around Taekwoon’s back, holding him to himself. He needed him closer. Always so _closer_.  
  
Taekwoon tilted his head back, wordlessly surrendering himself to Hongbin. Hongbin just knew to bite it here. He felt his wolf instinct, the one he had taken pills to sedate for so long it felt strange to feel welling up inside him again. This time, it urged him to bite like he had an insatiable hunger. Hongbin nosed the area, licking a stripe across his skin as he gave into the instinct, and he felt Taekwoon shiver under him.  
  
Taekwoon’s grip only tightened, arms snaking around his middle, telling him to go, and so Hongbin’s mouth parted and bit down into the skin. He bit down hard, and Hongbin was immediately rattled with a dizzying sensation, the magic flowing fast from inside him to Taekwoon, filling Taekwoon with a portion of his own magic. Perhaps it was his soul, but Hongbin could barely think about anything coherently other than Taekwoon, and mine. It felt good. It felt wonderful, so his instincts told him to only bite harder, gripping Taekwoon tightly, latched onto him. His wolf instincts took over his conscious. _Don’t let him go. Mine, mine, mine._  
  
He could barely hear Taekwoon’s whimper, could barely feel the hand carding through the hair on the back of his head, to egg him on. His toes curled as he was pressed flushed against Taekwoon, their crotches rubbing together, and Hongbin moaned at the feeling. He shuddered, feeling himself come back to the present as the magic calmed, the soul magic having completed its course into Taekwoon as much as it could through the claim. Eventually, he pulled away, the sensation strange as his teeth slid out of Taekwoon’s skin. His fingers raised to his mouth, touching one of his canines only to prick his finger. He blinked down at his fingertip now with a small bead of blood, looking at Taekwoon and then to the bite mark. “My teeth…”  
  
Taekwoon was panting, his face flushed, and he had to swallow before speaking. He looked like he had just been fucked, his hair dishevelled and his lips kiss-swollen. He was beautiful. Taekwoon spoke breathlessly, his eyelashes fluttering. “Your wolf instinct… your canines extended to claim me.”  
  
Hongbin looked back over to the bite, feeling shaky from claiming Taekwoon, only to see spots of blood on Taekwoon’s skin. He swallowed with dread, leaning back over and without thinking, began to lick the wound, nosing into his shoulder in hopes it was a comforting gesture. Taekwoon barked a small laugh, his hand raising to Hongbin’s hair again, running his fingers through it. “It’s fine, Hongbin.”  
  
Hongbin sat up again, still looking at it. Had he done it right? It had felt right, but if it’s bleeding… “It’s bleeding, is it meant to—“  
  
“It happens,” Taekwoon went to shrug, but only went half way before his face pinched in pain, and Hongbin frowned. The bite was hurting him. Taekwoon just cupped Hongbin’s neck. “You did very well, darling.”  
  
The praise made Hongbin swell with pride. Flushed, he looked down, though found it uncomfortable to close his mouth with his canines extended. It hurt a little bit, and his mouth felt crowded. He touched his canines again. “How long—“  
  
“They will shrink soon,” Taekwoon breathed. He was still panting— Hongbin watched him with concern; he didn’t think Taekwoon would have been this affected.  
  
“I hurt you. It really did hurt, right?”  
  
“Not as much as it… felt good.” Taekwoon replied, eyes flitting up at him. Hongbin blinked in surprise and Taekwoon gave a small smile. “I felt you, I felt your soul. I felt it physically and spiritually, rather than mentally. It’s nice, it’s… it’s very nice…” His eyes closed for a brief moment, as if savouring the feeling, before returning his gaze to Hongbin. Hongbin’s cheeks warmed at the intimacy in this, how honest Taekwoon was, how he completely surrendered himself. To Hongbin. To an Omega. Hongbin leant down and kissed him, and Taekwoon made a little noise into his mouth, so soft and pliant. They broke apart, now panting, and then Taekwoon lifted back off the couch. Their noses brushed against each other’s cheeks as Taekwoon sat up. Hongbin fell off his knees and now sat between Taekwoon’s legs, Hongbin’s legs bracketing Taekwoon’s hips over his thighs. Hongbin’s tongue ran across his own teeth, and Taekwoon was watching him do so, watching how Hongbin felt his canines shrinking ever so slowly. Taekwoon nosed against his cheek, his hands resting on his hips, pulling them closer.  
  
“I never will be the same, and never have been,” Taekwoon began, whispering the words against his skin, their eyes sliding shut in unison. “After I met you, Lee Hongbin.”  
  
Hongbin shuddered, as Taekwoon dragged his lips down Hongbin’s cheek and down his neck. He felt Taekwoon’s fingers tug down one of Hongbin’s sleeves to expose his shoulder, on the side opposite to Taekwoon’s. He then felt Taekwoon’s mouth at the juncture of his shoulder, pressing a kiss as if to test the waters. The magic hummed with excitement under his skin. He wanted this, as much as his soul did, as much as Taekwoon did.  
  
He craned his neck a little away, exposing himself for Taekwoon, who pulled Hongbin to his chest flush. His back arched into him, and Hongbin whimpered a small: “Go, Taekwoon. Please.”  
  
“It will hurt,” Taekwoon reminded softly.  
  
“I know,” Hongbin breathed, and the wait was agonising, but he knew that Taekwoon was only making sure. “I know, but I want this.” _I want you._  
  
Taekwoon’s mouth parted, and then— _oh_. It hurt. Taekwoon bit down, and Hongbin gave a gasp of pain when he felt Taekwoon’s canines slicing through his skin, and then locking into place. Then, the magic began to spill. Taekwoon’s magic was overflowing, crashing into him like a waterfall, and sifting through his own. He felt Taekwoon, felt his soul, his very essence, his emotions and even some of Taekwoon’s memories flashed under his eyelids. Hongbin was accepting everything whole-heartedly, allowing Taekwoon’s soul to mix with his indefinitely, to weave together so strongly that they were never to become separate entities. It made Hongbin light-headed, to feel someone so wonderful become part of him spiritually.  
  
His eyes glazed over. He felt exhausted, but somehow in the best possible way, like he had never been complete until now. Like he had never been so firmly rooted with purpose until this very moment. Taekwoon wasn’t his owner, Taekwoon wasn’t his Alpha, but Taekwoon was instead a part of him. In a way, they were now two separate people, but with the same soul.  
  
Taekwoon broke away, and only then did Hongbin feel the sting, the wound aching. Taekwoon licked Hongbin’s wounds, and Hongbin shuddered, curling into Taekwoon and resting his head on Taekwoon’s still fresh mark while Taekwoon licked Hongbin’s bite clean.  
  
When Taekwoon straightened his back, raising his head, Hongbin broke away. Meeting eyes, he smiled as Taekwoon did, loving and happy, and Hongbin stifled a giggle to see Taekwoon’s sharp canines. He somehow still looked cute, like this. Hongbin checked his at the thought, seeing his teeth were now smooth, and he smiled again. He felt blissful, high off the new magic swirling inside him, despite being exhausted.  
  
“You are mine now, as I am yours.” Hongbin whispered, finally, and Taekwoon smiled, his eyes twinkled, and Hongbin felt tears burn at his waterlines, pulling Taekwoon forward and hugging him around his neck. Taekwoon laughed quietly, running his hand through Hongbin’s hair as he held him.  
  
Taekwoon shuddered a sigh, but it was fond, and as they broke away, Taekwoon just looked at him, like he was soaking in everything he could, while he could. Hongbin could feel him, feel his bliss; it was like their emotions were linked, yet separate; he wasn’t used to the sensation, but he was able to now distinguish each other’s mental states so much easier. There was no static, not anymore.  
  
Hongbin leant in and kissed him; it was chaste, short and sweet, but filled with affection that he knew Taekwoon could feel. Hongbin felt love for this man, and the sudden potency of the feeling scared him. They had only met today, but he supposed, they were not strangers. Not when their souls were bonded. The thought comforted him a little, told him it wasn’t strange to feel this way. It was normal; intense, but normal. It was normal to fall in love with the person you were Soulbonded to. They were spiritually, physically, and mentally, made for each other. Hongbin couldn’t find a reason to hold himself back from something so obvious.  
  
“I love you,” Hongbin whispered, confessed to Taekwoon, and himself. That this was okay, that these were feelings he didn’t want to ignore. He didn’t want to ignore his feelings anymore, not when it came to Taekwoon.  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes widened, just that little bit, but then Hongbin felt such a rush of affection from Taekwoon that he felt dizzy. He had to duck his head to even coherently think, though as Taekwoon tilted his chin up with his fingers and their eyes met, his mind was cleared. “I love you too.”  
  
They smiled at each other, and pressed foreheads, holding onto each other. The magic had calmed a lot, despite strengthening, but no longer made him feel jittery or nervous. It stabilised him, it steadied his hands, it made him feel safe and warm. It made him feel like he was home.  
  
“I won’t lie,” Hongbin said, not realising that he had been in Taekwoon’s embrace like that for several minutes. He unraveled from his soulmate, blinking slowly. “It… that exhausted me.”  
  
He gave an apologetic smile to Taekwoon, who only shook his head in understanding. “No, it has that effect on me too. It was… it was truly…” Taekwoon frowned, as if not being able to find the word for the experience. Hongbin wondered how much different it had felt from just a normal claim. Taekwoon also looked exhausted down to his bones. “I… I don’t think there’s a word in our language for it.”  
  
Hongbin just nodded in agreement. His hand raised, running his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair, who leant into the touch with a hum. “We should sleep.”  
  
“Together?” Taekwoon asked, and the question so innocent, so hopeful, his head resting in Hongbin’s palm as he looked up at Hongbin.  
  
Hongbin felt his heart ache at the sight. “Together.” He affirmed, and he took Taekwoon’s hand, leading him to the bedroom.  
  
Taekwoon collapsed onto Hongbin’s double bed. Hongbin found it amusing, since Taekwoon decided on the side that wasn’t Hongbin’s. “Do you always sleep on the left side?” He asked, stripping himself of his shirt. He didn’t feel very squeamish doing it in front of Taekwoon; he didn’t see the point, considering Taekwoon was spiritually linked to him.Taekwoon had seen his soul, and in a way, that was much more intimate than seeing his body.  
  
“Mm.” Taekwoon hummed in affirmation, before kicking his jeans off and sliding himself under the covers. It was like he owned the place, and Hongbin wouldn’t prefer it any other way. He kept his pants on, the material comfortable and easy to sleep in; his at-home pants. He climbed into bed as well, dimming the lamp once he had done so and pulling the blue duvet over Taekwoon’s shoulders. Taekwoon’s head rested on the pillow, his gaze lingering onto Hongbin’s face, intense but fond.  
  
“Warm?”  
  
Taekwoon nodded, and his arms extended out in an invitation to cuddle, which Hongbin gratefully accepted. He shuffled in, getting close and realising he hadn’t done this before, holding someone in bed and being held. He rested his head on the broad expanse of Taekwoon’s chest, finding the strong heartbeat under his ear a comfort, as well as the arm snaking around his middle. His magic stilled, the once rocky ocean now calm and quiet. He was calm. He had never felt so relaxed, so at peace. His exhausted bones settled into the mush his body felt against Taekwoon. He sighed, almost blissfully, whispering a: “Goodnight, Taekwoon.”  
  
Taekwoon shifted to press a kiss to the crown of Hongbin’s forehead, speaking against the skin: “Sweet dreams, my love.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to update! I am still very invested in these characters ;u; 
> 
> Comments are most welcome <3

Hongbin woke up and his first thought was Taekwoon. Hongbin wondered if that was the first thing he would think about for the rest of his days. 

Not that he particularly minded. 

He yawned, shifting and lazily squinting up at the light wafting through the curtains. He turned his head and rested his chin on Taekwoon’s chest to see his sleeping face, peaceful and soft. 

He blinked slowly, propping himself up on an elbow to look at Taekwoon from a better angle, hoping to see his face more than just underneath his chin.

He wondered, would he be able to wake Taekwoon up by prodding mentally? Maybe the same way he’d be able to send Taekwoon emotions. He squinted as he concentrated, focusing on the link of magic humming between them. He imagined knocking Taekwoon’s sleeping consciousness as if it were a door.

A part of him wondered if some Soulbonds could even have the same dream, and spent time with each other in their lucid dreams too. Maybe he should research about them more. He continued to imaginative knock, thinking what he was doing was probably stupid when — flick.

He flinched, and then clutched his head. He’d just felt… it was as if… he’d been flicked in the forehead. “Ow,” Hongbin mumbled, and then he felt a puff of laughter from underneath him. He looked down at Taekwoon: the perpetrator of the magic-mental-flick and huffed.

Taekwoon was looking down at him through heavy eyelids, his mouth tugged up in an amused smile. Hongbin sat up, though Taekwoon grabbed him, his sleepy frame tugging him back and rolling onto him. Hongbin gasped with laughter as his back was pressed against the bed. Taekwoon held him down with his weight, nuzzling into the claimed side of his neck, exciting the magic inside the bite. It made Hongbin squirm.

“Don’t— you’re being mean,” Hongbin whined.

“You’re the one who woke me up.” Taekwoon mused, kissing his jaw, and Hongbin squeezed his eyes shut.

“Yeah but— you’re the one who— wait, I woke you up? Was it my knocking?”

“It is a bit hard to dream when you are prodding into my mind.” Taekwoon sighed, but he wasn’t upset. Hongbin could feel it, so he didn’t have to ask him. Hongbin smiled proudly, and Taekwoon rolled his eyes, lowering his head beside Hongbin’s on the pillow, half laying upon him. He slid his eyes shut.

“You actually flicked my forehead, inside my head,” Hongbin said aloud in awe. “Amazing.”

Taekwoon snorted a little, eyes still closed. “I suppose it is one of my most random accomplishments.”

Hongbin’s head turned to his Soulmate, watching his face as Taekwoon rested. He was beautiful, even up close. He had no idea his ideal type was someone like Taekwoon, but seeing him now, it should have been obvious. 

Their noses brushed, and Taekwoon gave a contented hum, apparently very happy to just be laying beside him like this.

His attention shifted to Taekwoon’s claim mark, already healed over but scarred, blooming bruises of red and purple that looked more like pressed roses stamped onto the skin. Hongbin touched the discolouring on Taekwoon’s shoulder, shivering a little to feel the skin hum of potent magic under his fingertips.

“Will they fade?” Hongbin asked gently, “the bruises.”

Taekwoon didn’t open his eyes as he answered, “they will, just a little, but the bite will never fade.”

Hongbin frowned, just a little, as his mind went to Hakyeon. Did Hakyeon still have the bite mark? He must have. It would be a constant reminder as if Hakyeon didn’t need one already.

“Normal claims fade over time, don’t they…” Hongbin wondered out loud. “People in a normal claim have to keep biting when the bite fades so the bond magic can stitch together again… but us…”

“Our bond magic is tied to our souls, spiritually, rather than our wolf magic and instinct changing our physical and mental states,” Taekwoon murmured, and he shuffled closer, pressing their torsos together, their legs messily entwining under the covers. He opened his eyes. “Once a Soulmate has been found, there is no going back.”

Taekwoon pressed little sleepy kisses to Hongbin’s hairline, who smiled and leant into the feeling. It was nice, as he lay with him like this. It was wonderful, so wonderful. “Good,” Hongbin replied. He smiled, and Taekwoon smiled back, propping himself up on an elbow so his face hovered just above Hongbin’s.

Taekwoon kissed him on the mouth, softly, gently. Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered shut. Taekwoon’s lowered his hand to Hongbin’s side, rubbing circles into the bare skin, then to Hongbin’s hipbone. 

Hongbin’s hips raised, just a little, unused to the feeling. His sudden wave of nerves suddenly hit Taekwoon, who retracted his hand almost immediately. He looked apologetic, very much so, and Hongbin felt warm with embarrassment.

“I— I haven’t done it before, I haven’t even come close—“ Hongbin sat up, hands fisting the sheets.

Taekwoon’s cheeks were pink, sitting up a little and nodding. “I am sorry. I should have realised.” 

“I… I’ve been in a relationship before, but it was, one of those high school girlfriends… when being in a relationship was cool, and all that.” Hongbin looked away, feeling a little awkward. Taekwoon surprised him by laughing.

“But nothing close to intercours—”

“No! I— nothing like that.” Hongbin swallowed, patting his chest.

Taekwoon ran his hand through Hongbin’s hair then, and the gesture was comforting. Taekwoon’s entire demeanour was gentle, the way he touched him, the way he looked at him. Hongbin felt himself melting into the feeling. Then, Taekwoon asked, very soft: “Are you asexual, Hongbin?”

Hongbin blinked up at Taekwoon, a little surprised by the question. “No,” He replied immediately, honestly. “I’m just… I’m not ready, I think. I’m attracted to you, like that, I really am, but… I want to ease into it. I’m not ready. Not to mate, or…” Hongbin gazed away, chewing on his bottom lip. “Can we go slow? Do this slow?”

Taekwoon leant in, taking Hongbin’s hand and kissing his temple. “Of course, Hongbin.” Taekwoon whispered, and Hongbin felt no underlying malice. He knew Taekwoon really was okay with that. 

Taekwoon tugged him into his chest again, holding him close. “I asked if you were asexual just in case you may have been; even if you were, it would not affect our relationship in the slightest.” He kissed atop of Hongbin’s head, and Hongbin sighed softly, blissfully. 

“Mating is not compulsory in any bond, whether a Soulbond or otherwise.” His hand ran through Hongbin’s hair. “So there is no rush, darling.”

Hongbin looked up at Taekwoon, who gazed back with an adoration that Hongbin felt he didn’t deserve. He bit his lip, looking down briefly. He had worried so much, had so many anxiety attacks over this. Of course, Hongbin felt like he had good reason to have been worried, but looking into Taekwoon’s eyes, he was glad it had… all been for nothing. He would have rathered this than the opposite. Though, while Hongbin knew he had good reason to worry, he felt guilt, that he had made Taekwoon feel terrible for days on end, and yet here Taekwoon was, holding Hongbin as if he were his everything. Like Hongbin had never faulted him. Hongbin swallowed, looking back down to the claim mark. 

“What are you thinking about?” Taekwoon murmured, a slight crease between his brows. 

“Just…” Hongbin trailed off, not knowing how he wanted to say it. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For making you hurt, for not… trusting you.”

“You have already apologised, and besides,” Taekwoon ran his hand sleepily through Hongbin’s hair. “It is nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t know me then, so your fear was not irrational. I understood… what you must have felt.”

Hongbin just smiled gratefully, raising his hand to Taekwoon’s claim mark, fingertips brushing against the scars. Taekwoon shivered, just enough for Hongbin to notice. He kissed the mark then, and hummed as Taekwoon’s arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him on top of his chest as Taekwoon rolled onto his back. Hongbin lazily lay there, a thigh between both of Taekwoon’s, his head tucked now into Taekwoon’s neck. It was nice, like this. Quiet, easy, warm. 

Eventually, Hongbin broke away, and Taekwoon made a soft little noise of distress. Hongbin quickly kissed him on the cheek, as he sat up, the bedsheets falling off him. Taekwoon looked up at him, and it looked like he wanted to pull him back down though his limbs were too sleepy. Hongbin’s face softened as he looked at him, how ruffled his hair was, how sleepily he was squinting, how his cheeks were round and full and soft. He blinked, realising he didn’t even know…

“How old are you, Taekwoon?” He asked suddenly, resting his cheek against his own shoulder. Taekwoon was obviously surprised by the question; his eyes widened, though quickly relaxed again. 

“I will be twenty-six in November,” He replied, tilting his head a little on the pillow as he looked up at Hongbin, now. “How about you? I figured you were around twenty-one since Hakyeon said you were in your third year--”

“I’m twenty-two.” Hongbin smiled a little. “I took a gap year.”

“Ah.” Taekwoon smiled, just a little, but it was enough to make Hongbin’s heart flutter. There was something oddly mesmerising about Taekwoon. Though, Taekwoon frowned, just a little. “Does my age bother you?”

“Nah,” Hongbin just grinned, a dimple creasing his cheek. “We’re both in our twenties. It’s not like I’m still a teenager.”

Taekwoon hummed, nodding. His hand raised, cupping Hongbin’s cheek, and Hongbin obediently leant down for a kiss. It was chaste, gentle, Taekwoon’s lips still lax with sleep. “Come back to bed.” Taekwoon mumbled against Hongbin’s mouth, and Hongbin wished he could. He really did. 

“I can’t,” he sighed. “I’ve got work soon.”

Taekwoon’s nose scrunched up, his nostrils flaring up cutely. Hongbin just grinned and shuffled off the bed, standing up. His limbs felt so light now, so relaxed, yet full of energy. He knew it was the magic, now properly laced with Taekwoon, not weighing down on his bones anymore. He felt better than he had in a long time. 

Still, he stretched, arching his back. “ ‘M going to have a shower,” He mumbled. He just heard a small hum of acknowledgement from Taekwoon. Looking back, Taekwoon had simply rolled onto his side, his eyes now closed. Hongbin smiled to himself; he guessed Taekwoon wasn’t a morning person.

 

Fully showered and dressed, Hongbin was making breakfast for two. The television was on for simple background noise, and Hongbin felt, rather than heard, that Taekwoon had gotten up and out of bed. He looked up and had the pleasure of seeing the man shuffle into the kitchen, still shirtless. Hongbin coyly looked at him up and down, and found himself rather enjoying the sight. 

“Good morning,” Hongbin mused, looking back as he buttered his toast. “Did you hear the smell of food?”

He looked up just in time to see Taekwoon nod, face still a little pinched from being up so early. Meeting eyes, Hongbin smiled, and Taekwoon’s features smoothed over. Early mornings were worth it if spent with his Soulmate, it seemed.

Taekwoon looped an arm around him, kissing him softly on the cheek before hugging him properly from behind, his chin on Hongbin’s shoulder. It all felt so casual, like they had been together for a long time, and strangely, Hongbin couldn’t prefer it any other way. 

If anything, he sighed, raising one of the pieces of buttered toast up for Taekwoon, who took it from him with his mouth wordlessly. Unravelling himself, Taekwoon hoisted himself up onto the counter top, sitting on it and ate his toast, eyes flickering over to whatever was on television, and back to Hongbin. 

“Which restaurant do you work at?” Taekwoon asked amongst chews. 

“The fast-food one opposite the supermarket.”

“The one that sells those spicy chicken burgers?” Taekwoon was peeling off the crust as he spoke. 

Hongbin simply nodded. A small but comfortable silence lingered between them.

“You don’t like it?”

Hongbin’s slender shoulders raised in a shrug. “It’s just a job. It pays my rent.” 

Taekwoon hummed. 

 

** 

 

“Ravi,” Hakyeon called out. He sighed dramatically, hands on his hips like a chastising mother when he found him. Ravi was sitting in the common room of their shelter, playing with one of the pups that was having trouble changing back into human form. 

Ravi looked up, and Hakyeon immediately relaxed at their eye-contact, hands dropping to his sides. Ravi’s little mouth was lopsided in a grin full of cheek, and it melted Hakyeon’s heart. He looked down at the pup as Ravi patted its bottom. It scampered off, leaving Hakyeon alone with him. Ravi looked a little resigned as he stood. 

“Yes?” 

Hakyeon’s face softened, his eyes amused. “I wanted to see you.” 

“About?” Ravi drawled, his head tilted, his eyes showing all the stars in Hakyeon’s sky. 

“Do I need a reason?” Hakyeon took a step forward, mouth twisting to fruitlessly hide a smile, before sinking himself into Ravi’s chest. He kissed Ravi’s claim mark before lowering his head into Ravi’s neck. 

Ravi’s arms encircled him, holding him with so much sudden affection and adoration that Hakyeon’s mouth began to tremble. He loved him. He loved him so much. It had not been long since he had hugged Ravi, it seemed, but why did he feel such a feeling of longing? 

“Ravi, I love you.” For some reason Hakyeon felt like he had been in this situation before; the lingering deja vu making him feel need of reassurance.

Ravi’s face pinched with emotion, burying his face into Hakyeon’s hair. It smelled of firewood, pine needles, pages of books. “Oh, my love,” Ravi whispered, his heart in his words. “You know I’ll always love you too.”

Hakyeon’s shoulders began to shake, his hold on Ravi even tighter to the point Ravi’s body began to give way to his grip. Ravi became thinner to accommodate Hakyeon’s hold as Hakyeon desperately brought Ravi to his chest. He panicked as he felt Ravi’s shirt become loose in his fingers, Ravi’s body give way, falling through his fingers like sand in an hour glass. 

Hakyeon lowered to his knees, Ravi’s shirt bunched against trembling hands. 

Hakyeon woke to a firm shaking of his shoulder, stinging eyes and wet cheeks, his hands clenched around the same shirt he had been dreaming of so tightly it could rip. 

“Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon’s eyes opened, his vision blurry, his face aching with a grimace. He wheezed in a breath, like a man drowning. He was scooped up in a hold, his head buried in a man’s shoulder that felt nothing of Ravi’s. Ravi’s shoulder wasn’t as bony and waify, it was broad, muscular. He panted as he was held, attempting to calm down. 

“Hakyeon.” Slender fingers slowly sifted through his hair, the voice familiar and soothing, but not the one he wanted. He sighed, feeling his tense muscles unravel, the grip on Ravi’s old shirt loosen. It didn’t smell like him anymore, but Hakyeon still found comfort; there was still bond magic seeped into the fabric. 

“I’m alright, Jaehwan.” Hakyeon sighed softly, breaking away from Jaehwan’s hold slowly, wiping his tears. Jaehwan wordlessly handed him a tissue, but Hakyeon kept his head bowed. He didn’t need to look up to know of the concern in Jaehwan’s eyes. 

“You don’t look alright.” Jaehwan commented quietly, and Hakyeon was too exhausted to get annoyed. His hand bunched up the tissue, letting it hang loosely at his thigh. He sighed and finally looked up, but was surprised when Jaehwan spoke up again. “Do you… do you ever regret… the fact you soulbonded?”

“No--” Hakyeon’s eyes widened, as did Jaehwan, with the abrupt nature of his answer. He swallowed, eyes darting away, and sighed, resigned. “No,” he began, a little softer, “I don’t. The happiness Ravi gave me… is worth a thousand sad life times.”

Jaehwan’s face softened, and he rested his hand on Hakyeon’s thigh. “I hope it is.” Was all he said of the topic, patting his thigh once more before standing. “I’ll go make something for you to eat.”

“Jaehwan?” Hakyeon called out just as Jaehwan was leaving. 

“Yeah?”

“I wish you could have known me. Before all of this happened.” 

Jaehwan paused, his voice going into a murmur. “Me too, Hakyeon.” 

Jaehwan shut the door behind him. 

 

**

 

Hongbin’s shoulders slumped, holding a tray of drinks, seeing the rain hit the window of the fast-food restaurant. He scowled to himself; he hadn’t brought an umbrella. His mouth twisted unpleasantly, before remembering to smile when he turned around to face customers again. Couldn’t have anyone see that he was uncomfortable here, after all. 

His managers had stared at him when he walked in. It wasn’t very common to feel soulbond magic, even on someone else. Of course, everyone had thought that Hongbin was an beta, so the reveal that not only Hongbin had been an omega, but had found his soulmate, had been one not many had been expecting. 

“What’s your soulmate like?” His co-worker, Sejeong, asked, grinning up at him before she called out an order. She was still in high school; Hongbin didn’t think he had ever smiled like that while being a high schooler. Those years were never his fondest memories. 

“He’s…” His voice trailed off in thought. It was not good to dwell on the thought of Taekwoon when he wasn’t around. He’d zone off then, and the magic would become unsettled from their parting. “He’s nice.”

Sejeong looked unimpressed by that explanation. Hongbin smiled a little wryly but left to continue to bag up food. 

A couple of hours passed, until the manager reminded Hongbin of the time. Gladly, he clocked off, taking his hat off and running a hand through his hair, messing it up a bit. He yawned, grabbing his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, checking his phone before he began to walk out. 

He halted when he heard the rain. His face pinched up in annoyance. He didn’t want to walk home in the rain, he’d get a cold. The magic inside him seemed to get really jittery about it too. The magic really was quite odd; he hadn’t gotten used to it yet. 

He left the building, opening the door. He was ready to face the rain, but an arm outstretched before him, and he didn’t feel any rain at all. 

He looked up, his eyes widening. “Taekwoon?” Their eyes met, and the magic became so pleased with the fact Hongbin twitched as if electrocuted. “What are you doing here?”

There Taekwoon was, standing before him, holding a blue umbrella over their heads. It tinted their skin with the colour. Taekwoon was smiling, just a little, as if amused by Hongbin’s reaction. “I felt your dread. I assumed it was because of the rain.”

“How long have you been waiting?” Hongbin asked, swallowing. Taekwoon had been so in tune with Hongbin’s emotions… when will Hongbin be able to recognise something like that?

Taekwoon looked at his watch. His serious facial expression barely flickered as he replied, “just an hour.”

Hongbin spluttered. “An hour? Why would you--”

“I didn’t know when you were finishing.” Taekwoon sighed, looking petulant. He even pouted. “You didn’t tell me.”

Hongbin spluttered, and Taekwoon laughed quietly and took Hongbin’s hand in his. It was such a casual gesture, and Hongbin huddled close to keep under the umbrella. He couldn’t help but to look up at Taekwoon as he lead the way. 

“Where are we going?” Hongbin asked. Taekwoon squeezed his hand, and the magic made Hongbin feel light-headed. 

“To my car,” Taekwoon responded. Hongbin squinted; how cryptic. 

“Okay. Where are we going after that?” Hongbin smiled a little, almost laughing when Taekwoon huffed, sounding resigned. 

“My house.” 

“Oh…” Hongbin blinked. “Will Hakyeon be okay with that?”

Taekwoon looked thoughtful for a moment, taking his time to reply. “He told me he would have to be, at one point or another, so there is no point delaying it,” he looked at Hongbin then, his eyes softening. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not,” Hongbin squeezed Taekwoon’s hand, who smiled. “I’d love to see where you live.”

They reached Taekwoon’s car, but Taekwoon didn’t open the door for him and went straight around to his side and slid into the driver seat. Hongbin blinked, a little in awe. Most alphas would open the door for their omega and close it after them, he’d seen it in the movies, as if they needed to be escorted inside. It wasn’t like that with Taekwoon; casual, as if they were childhood friends. Hongbin’s heart skipped in his chest as he opened up his own door and sat down himself, closing it beside him. Taekwoon’s car was a little old, but it certainly had character. He blinked at the solar-powered swaying cat placed on the dashboard. 

Taekwoon saw him watching. “Jaehwan bought that for me for my birthday.”

Hongbin smiled slowly, looking up at him finally. Taekwoon seemed so relaxed behind the steering wheel; Hongbin wondered if driving was therapeutic to him. “That’s nice of him.”

Taekwoon’s nose pinched. “It is, but it’s also merchandise for his shop.”

Hongbin snorted. 

His dimple was poked again, and he flinched, looking up to meet with Taekwoon’s twinkling eyes. He was leaning across the car towards him, before stating softly: “You have dimples.”

Hongbin looked most unimpressed. “I thought we discussed this.”

“Mm,” Taekwoon hummed, his eyes lowering to his cheeks, his mouth. Hongbin felt a little flushed as he did so, watching how Taekwoon looked at him with nothing but adoration. “Can I kiss you?”

Hongbin swallowed, barely able to nod before Taekwoon leant in to kiss him, gentle and almost chaste, and yet Hongbin almost moaned into it. The magic blossomed inside him, like rosebuds blooming within his veins. To Hongbin, Taekwoon broke away much too soon, before a small kiss was pressed against Hongbin’s dimple. 

“It feels good to kiss you,” Taekwoon murmured, before leaning away. He looked satisfied with himself when Hongbin spluttered, looking away. He looked back to see Taekwoon smiling to himself as he put the keys in the ignition. His other hand took Hongbin’s gently, positioning it over the gearstick as they slid the car from Park into Drive together. “It feels good to be with you.”

Hongbin couldn’t help but to agree.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You didn’t tell me,” Hakyeon snapped, though the fear in his eyes told Taekwoon it entailed much more venom than he had intended.

Hongbin’s weight made the little steps up to Taekwoon’s door creak underneath him. He found the house not what he expected at all, not the colour nor the amount of pot plants and climbing vines weaving their way up through the bricks. Taekwoon fumbled with the keys as Hongbin looked around, poking one of the wind chimes dangling over their head. It was a wooden carving of one of the wolves from the old wolf lores.

Taekwoon gazed up at it when it jangled. “Hakyeon made that, soon after we moved here.”

“It’s nice.” Hongbin murmured, and Taekwoon only gave a small smile before he opened the door, gesturing for Hongbin to go inside first. Hongbin heard him sigh as he closed the door behind him, and soon Taekwoon’s hand rested on the small of Hongbin’s back, leading him to what Hongbin figured was the living room. There were plenty of cardboard boxes, all taped up. Amongst them was Jaehwan, sitting on top of one with another smaller box on his lap, opening it up with a neon pink box cutter. Hakyeon was holding an orange teapot in the shape of a rather fat cat. Hongbin could feel Taekwoon’s surprise.

“What’s this?” Taekwoon murmured, but only Jaehwan raised his head. He perked up a little at the sight of Hongbin.

“Perhaps the ugliest teapot I’ve ever seen,” Hakyeon replied, not even looking up.

“Hey--” Jaehwan whined over the shrill rip of tape. “That’s one-of-a-kind.”

“For good reason!” Hakyeon snapped, placing it on the coffee table.

Hongbin noticed that Hakyeon’s fingers were trembling; judging by the frown on Taekwoon’s face, he guessed it wasn’t because the teapot was ugly. Hakyeon finally turned, but he didn’t seem surprised at all that Hongbin was there; if anything, it was as if he already knew.

“Hello, Hongbin,” Hakyeon replied softly. It was the first time Hongbin had ever seen him dress so casually; a simple, oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He looked nice, but the bags under his eyes told him something else.

“Hey, Profe-- Hakyeon.” He blurted, looking up at Jaehwan again. “And Jaehwan.”

“Hello H--”

“Jaehwan’s finally decided to move in properly.” Hakyeon barely flinched when Jaehwan swung his leg into Hakyeon’s for interrupting him. “Only took him six months.” But there was something in Hakyeon’s expression. Hongbin didn’t know Hakyeon well enough to understand it, but there was something wrong.

Hongbin jerked a little. The magic was agitated and the nauseous feeling hit him all at once. Taekwoon was just… so uneasy. He looked up at Taekwoon, but Taekwoon barely acknowledged him, staring straight at Hakyeon. Hakyeon stared back, and their wordless conversation through the tiniest micro-expressions had Hakyeon standing up, sighing, and leaving the room.

“Taekwoon--” Taekwoon blinked, turning to Hongbin. Hongbin stared at him as Taekwoon dropped his hand back to his side. He looked guilty, for a moment, the expression flashing across his features.

Hongbin didn’t understand and remained tight-lipped, but was already looking away and nodding before Taekwoon murmured, “I need to talk to him. I’m sorry.” He leaned in, pressing a small kiss to Hongbin’s temple before he left the room, following Hakyeon.

Hongbin felt a little weak in the knees as the magic pined as soon as he saw Taekwoon’s back going around the corner. He was snapped out of it by Jaehwan patting the couch beside him, and Hongbin spurred into action like a robot galvanized. He sat where Hakyeon was, not knowing what to do. It was strange. He felt lost, and he didn’t understand any of the feelings running through him; were they Taekwoon’s? Perhaps they were. They didn’t feel like his. He kept losing track of himself, and it took Jaehwan prodding him with a sharp corner of one of his unopened boxes for him to register his surroundings.

“Help me open my stuff. They’ll sort it out. They’re having a marita--- they’re having problems.” Jaehwan smiled, but Hongbin’s hands tightened around the box that he was given. Jaehwan had begun to say marital. How close had they been?

 

Taekwoon’s footsteps were heavy as he knew he was walking into a storm. He could even feel Hakyeon’s magical aura from the doorway, and it was unstable; an electrical whirlwind. Taekwoon found himself breathing into his nose as he rounded the corner and into the kitchen, seeing Hakyeon holding himself. Taekwoon took a step forward into the danger zone.

“You didn’t tell me,” Hakyeon snapped, though the fear in his eyes told Taekwoon it entailed much more venom than he had intended.

“You told me it was alright to bring hi--”

“But you didn’t _warn_ me,” He scowled, turning his head away, eyes like fire. Taekwoon frowned deeply, reaching out for him, wanting to turn him around.

 

“You were about to say marital,” Hongbin replied, his voice suddenly low, looking up at Jaehwan. “What do you mean by that?”

 

Taekwoon’s throat went dry, dropping his hand. It wouldn’t do well to touch Hakyeon when he was like this. “You said you would have to get used to it, sooner or later --”

 

Jaehwan’s face fell. “Well, I just meant -- in the way -- Taekwoon and Hakyeon bicker like --”

 

“I know what I said!” Hakyeon raised his voice, his hands shaking as he lowered them, eyes wild. “But it hurts, Taekwoon! You have no fucking _clue_ what this feels like --”

 

“Like a married couple --” Jaehwan’s eyes flitted away, the corners of his lips turning down. They could hear muffled shouting from the other room. Hakyeon narrowed his eyes.

 

“-- I thought you would get what I meant, to fucking warn me first before you start bringing a fucking -- a fucking --” Hakyeon’s irises were expanding, and Taekwoon felt his blood go cold. Dangerous. “A fucking incarnation of _misery_ inside my supposed safe space.”

 

Jaehwan and Hongbin flinched at the same time, turning their heads. There was an odd magic in the air. Hongbin had never experienced anything like this before, but goosebumps spread across his arms, and he felt cold. “Just how -- close were they --”

 

 

Taekwoon bristled, eyes narrowing. “Don’t you dare talk about Hongbin that way --”

 

 

“Well, I --- I don’t know,” Jaehwan replied, a little garbled, flustered. Hongbin’s eyes widened. “Most of what happens between them is behind closed doors.”

 

 

Hakyeon’s posture crumpled as he gave a small, distressed wail; curled fingers pulling at the roots of his hair. His hands suddenly began to deform, his skin tinting darker as fur began to sprout through the skin. Taekwoon lurched forwards, his arms immediately outstretched as he caught him. They fell.

 

 

“Closed _what?”_ Hongbin stood up. Jaehwan jerked up as well, raising his hand to pull him back but Hongbin was already to the kitchen.

 

Hongbin’s hand on the door frame tightened, scraping the paint. Taekwoon was on the ground, knees bent, calves pressing against his thighs either side of his hips. He struggled, holding a large wolf to his chest, eyes wild and teeth baring, jerking in his hold. Taekwoon held Hakyeon so tightly, arms wound and hands bunching up his thick copper-coloured fur. Hakyeon’s jaw snapped at the sight of Hongbin, lurching towards him, golden eyes wide and blazing. Taekwoon reacted immediately, wrestling him back. Taekwoon pressed his face into Hakyeon’s fur, and Hongbin felt a surge of calming, affectionate magic seep through him from Taekwoon. Initially, he relaxed, until he realised it wasn’t for him. It was for Hakyeon.

What he got from Taekwoon was an urgent push into his mind, telling him to leave. It that made Hongbin take a step back. It was _rejection._   
  
An urgent push _away,_ the very opposite of what a Soulbond tried to do. His magic reeled, and his knees felt weak, like someone had taken his soul and tried to rip it at the seams in the opposite direction. Taekwoon wanted him to leave and the feeling of his own magic rejecting him was so foreign it made him feel physically ill. He paled, and his grip on the doorway only grew tighter. He wanted to throw up.

Jaehwan had finally caught up with him, hand on his shoulder. Hongbin found his mouth go dry, his body pliant to Jaehwan’s hand, but his eyes remaining glued to Taekwoon despite how sick he felt. Taekwoon now whispered words that Hongbin couldn’t hear into Hakyeon’s fur.

A surge of anger swept through Hongbin he certainly hoped Taekwoon would feel. Then, suddenly, the wolf was shrinking, the fur turning into skin and -- Hongbin closed his eyes and forced himself to turn away. He didn’t need to know what happened next.

 

 

 

 

 

Hakyeon was still panting when he came to in Taekwoon’s arms. He had gotten so emotional, so angry, so upset, that he had _shifted_ to deal with it like a late bloomer, not a man who was supposed to be magically proficient.   
  
The first thing he blurted was an _‘I’m sorry’,_ his head bowing into Taekwoon’s shoulder who simply pressed him to his chest. Hakyeon trembled terribly when he realised he’d pressed his face into the shoulder Taekwoon had his new claim on. He could smell it through the fabric of Taekwoon's shirt. The bond magic was so strong, and it made Hakyeon yearn for it. He shivered, his clothes now strewn across the kitchen tiles.

“Don’t be silly, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon’s thumb ran down Hakyeon’s bare spine; it protruded more than it used to. Hakyeon could feel Taekwoon’s hands shake against his skin. Taekwoon didn’t usually shake, Hakyeon noted to himself. His voice was so kind, so gentle, pressing a chaste kiss into Hakyeon’s hair. “Don’t apologize.”

“I yelled at you-- for something I gave you-- permission--” But he found it hard to speak when he could barely suck in a breath. He was shivering, his knees ached from pressing against the tiles. Hakyeon heard footsteps, and he looked up to see Jaehwan looking down at him from the doorway. His expression was so strangely irked, and he fled soon after. Hakyeon feel a swoop of guilt: Hongbin.

Hakyeon broke away, grabbing his shirt that had crumpled to the ground, hugging it to his bare chest. The shirt had been Ravi’s. He felt small curled around a little shirt, eyes wide and shoulders shaking. He felt Taekwoon press a tiny kiss to his forehead, his cheek caressed. It was like a mother comforting a child, and Hakyeon grimaced, hanging his head in shame.

“I’m sorry,” He winced again. “It was just-- it was so strong I--”

Taekwoon hushed him again, wiping the tear that fell.

He swallowed. “You should see to Hongbin.”

Taekwoon frowned at that. He hesitated for a moment and then shook his head. “I will get you to bed first--”

“I’m not a child, Taekwo--” Hakyeon’s voice fell apart when Taekwoon stared at him, looking down. He couldn’t even control his shifting this time; something that was only usually seen in children. He buried his face in his shirt, the fabric crumpling against his fists. He whimpered out a long sigh, and Taekwoon held him again, gentle and sweet. Hakyeon had just yelled at him, irrationally, treated him terribly, and yet here Taekwoon was to comfort him despite it happening, again and again, and again.

“When will this end,” Hakyeon moaned softly, eyes bloodshot.

“It won’t,” Taekwoon replied, voice so small as he rested his hand on Hakyeon’s cheek. Hakyeon leaned against it, “but it will get easier.”

Hakyeon pulled a face in doubt, and Taekwoon laughed quietly. If Hakyeon was not in love with someone else, he might have fallen for Taekwoon then, and the thought surprised him a little.

Taekwoon helped him up, completely unperturbed by Hakyeon’s naked frame; they had seen each other without clothes far too often to even think about it. It was as natural as wearing clothes when they lived in the wild.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I-- Would you like me to bring you anything? Water, or…” Jaehwan’s voice trailed off as Hongbin stood in the middle of Taekwoon’s bedroom; Jaehwan had brought him here, obviously at a loss as to what to do. Hongbin was agitated but did his best to act calm for Jaehwan. Hongbin simply shook his head, a small sigh escaping him. He shoved his twitching hands in his pockets. His magic was a storm again, nowhere near the calm seas he had experienced this morning. His face pinched, looking away, and Jaehwan cowered, just a little, eyes wide.

Hongbin saw it in his peripheral vision and immediately looked back, a little surprised. “What--”

Jaehwan licked his lips, biting down on them. He looked away. “Nothing -- you just -- you felt like Taekwoon, then, his aura --”

Hongbin swallowed; he hadn’t even realised something like that could happen. He raised his hand, but immediately lowered it to his side again.

“You’re angry, I hope I didn’t --”

“No.” Hongbin shook his head immediately. “No, you-- you-- I’m angry at Taekwoon.”

“I worded it wrong, I didn’t mean for it to sound like--”

There was a knock on the door, and Hongbin’s eyes narrowed at it. Jaehwan looked over at the door as well, lips parting slightly. Hongbin’s eyes returned to Jaehwan, sighing again, doing his best to not look upset at him. “It’s fine I’ll-- I’ll sort it out.” It’s not like he had much of a choice anyway, he thought bitterly; it wasn’t like he had any chance of avoiding Taekwoon even if he wanted to.

Jaehwan offered a small smile as he turned, opening the door. Hongbin watched as Jaehwan and Taekwoon met eyes from behind the door, and something on Jaehwan’s expression made Taekwoon look away, flustered.

Hongbin’s stare must have been outright hostile because as Taekwoon silently stepped in and saw Hongbin’s expression, he immediately ducked his head, closing the door behind him. Hongbin felt that he was sorry, knew he was, truly, deeply and sincerely apologetic, but that wasn’t the point. That’s not what Hongbin wanted.

Hongbin broke the silence that had hung heavy over his shoulders. “I didn’t think you would ever push me away for someone else.”

Taekwoon flinched. He was acting like Sanghyuk had upon first meeting Taekwoon, small with his back against the door. “I -- I’m not,” Taekwoon replied, and Hongbin saw how his adam-apple bobbed with a swallow. “Hongbin, I -- I don’t -- we’re Soulbonded, Hongbin, how could you think --”

Hongbin scowled, taking a step forward. “That’s not -- that’s not what I meant. You pushed me away, spiritually, in that moment, I wasn’t welcome. You rejected my magic, Taekwoon.”

“Hakyeon was -- unstable --” Though Taekwoon grimaced. Hongbin had an idea that he had already known. He’d felt the foreign wave of guilt as he was curled against the bathroom sink.

“I threw up,” Hongbin growled, and he hated it, he hated fighting with _Taekwoon_ of all people. His magic suffering because of it, made him feel torn up and heavy again. Taekwoon’s shoulders were raised, head bowed. His eyebrows were upturned, face pinched, hands curled into fists by his side. It took all of Hongbin’s willpower to not reject his magic, his soul, just in spite, and the very idea sickened him. “God, you can hug with a naked man all you like, but don’t ever do that to me again.”

Taekwoon was scared, and it was a strange feeling to experience second-hand. His lips were pressed into a thin line, not wanting to back down from this one, not wanting to let it go because he didn’t like confronting the man he had just confessed love for the night earlier. He wanted Taekwoon to know that this wasn’t okay, and to certainly not do it again.

“I-- I did it because-- I didn’t want Hakyeon to hurt you,” Taekwoon replied, speaking quickly as if scared Hongbin would interject him. “If-- If I hadn’t caught him, I knew he would have but I-- I was so scared I thought it would be best to-- to scare you, so you stayed away, I’m--”

He watched as Taekwoon fisted his shirt over his heart, shuddering. Hongbin’s anger and the strain on the magic was affecting Taekwoon too, and Hongbin heard him literally whimper an apology. Hongbin could feel the guilt, the regret washing over him, and Hongbin sighed.

“I don’t care,” Hongbin began, watching as Taekwoon slowly looked up. “What you and Hakyeon had in the past,” he raised his hand, as Taekwoon parted his mouth to speak, silencing him. “I really don’t. As long as… as long as it’s now over. Truly, over.”

Taekwoon’s jaw snapped shut.

“I am monogamous, Taekwoon,” Hongbin whispered.

Taekwoon was just shaking his head. “Hakyeon and I… we’ve been through a lot together, so naturally we’re… we’re close but … there has been nothing … like that between us. Nothing romantic.”

“I don’t care, even if there had been. I-- I was initially worried, but, now I’m just…” Hongbin sighed, looking away. “It felt like half of me rejected myself. In that moment, half of my body was ripped from me.”

He shivered, and Taekwoon was suddenly there, holding him close, so close, so tight it was almost suffocating. “I’m sorry, Hongbin.” Taekwoon murmured, and Hongbin knew it was true. “I won’t do it again-- it was-- it was a stupid mistake brought out by desperate actions-- I never meant… I’m--” Taekwoon choked up, and Hongbin had to pull away to wipe his cheeks. “I love you, Hongbin, please don’t think---”

“I love you too,” Hongbin murmured, hand cupping Taekwoon’s cheek. “I really, truly do.”

Taekwoon smiled at that, gently, his watery eyes sparkling as he leaned in to kiss him. Hongbin let him, closing his eyes, and the growling magical storm washed into something calmer as their mouths moved together. Hongbin raised his hand to rest on Taekwoon’s shoulder and broke away prematurely, his lips dragging away. Taekwoon leant forward, pressing his nose into Hongbin’s hair, inhaling. Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered, and it was only them in that moment; the bedroom, the house, the situation didn’t exist. All Hongbin knew was Taekwoon; how warm Taekwoon’s hand was when he cupped his neck, how soft his lips were as they returned to Hongbin’s mouth.

Hongbin opened his eyes, and the spell broke. He sighed, resigned, pressing his forehead into Taekwoon’s claimed shoulder, inhaling deeply. The bond magic was so rich here, it seeped through his bones and made him feel light-headed. His eyelashes fluttered. He hid his face in Taekwoon’s neck, who held him gently, rocking him back and forth in a soundless dance, their magic playing a sweet song for them. Hongbin felt sleepy, exhausted, and as he closed his eyes once more, he prodded into Taekwoon’s consciousness. He shivered at how Taekwoon let him in without hesitation. He felt so much love flood over him he wanted to cry.

They swayed like this, Taekwoon’s arms loosely around Hongbin’s back, hands linked together. Hongbin’s hands slid up and over Taekwoon’s shoulders to link behind his neck, looking up. Their noses brushed, and Hongbin kissed him this time, letting the kisses linger before he went back for more.

Hongbin broke away, looking up at Taekwoon, who leaned down just a little to press foreheads.

“Please don’t do that again,” Hongbin murmured.

“I won’t,” Taekwoon replied, so soft. His face pinched slightly; self-deprecating. “I-- I am ashamed that I -- even --”

“Ssh,” Hongbin kissed him before he began to ramble. “Just… not again.”

Taekwoon simply nodded, and Hongbin offered a smile. Taekwoon didn’t smile back, but instead hid his face into Hongbin’s hair. He said nothing, but simply swayed, the movement hypnotic to Hongbin, who moved against him without a second thought. Taekwoon said nothing and bowed his head into Hongbin’s neck. Hongbin could feel the regret that simmered inside Taekwoon, still bubbling.

Moments passed, and Hongbin slowly carded his fingers through Taekwoon’s dark hair idly. “How’s Hakyeon?” He asked quietly, finally, breaking the silence between them.

Taekwoon spoke into his neck. “He’s taking it easy. Jaehwan is probably with him.”

 _What would they do without Jaehwan,_ Hongbin thought, frowning deeply. “Why did he… react like that? Had I done something?”

Taekwoon broke away and pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead. He slipped out of Hongbin’s arms. “No,” he stated simply. The sudden lack of warmth felt odd on his skin, but Taekwoon bent down, turning on the heater installed in the corner of their room. He heard it whirr and watched how Taekwoon sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his thighs, hands laced between his knees. “No, it’s not you. It’s… our Soulbond. It’s one of the first times he’s experienced, or at least, been in the presence of Soulbond magic since Ravi passed.”

“Ah,” Hongbin said quietly, looking away. He supposed it should have been obvious, and he sat beside Taekwoon, staring down at their bare feet. Taekwoon bracketed his hand behind Hongbin’s back on the bed as he leaned over, nuzzling into his claim bite. Hongbin shivered, hands curling into fists.   
  
It felt ridiculously good when Taekwoon did that. He felt warm too, looking down to his lap before asking sheepishly: “Do you think you could… bite me there? Again?”

Taekwoon looked up, gauging Hongbin's expression before nodding. He pulled down Hongbin’s sleeve, exposing the slope of his shoulder, the purple swirls the claim had pressed against his skin. Taekwoon breathed in the magic, and Hongbin felt him tremble with it, leaning in further. He bit down, finally, and a tiny noise escaped Hongbin as the pain, the intensity of the magic crashing against him like waves. He tilted his head back as Taekwoon slowly lowered him down onto the bed, his back pressed against the blue quilt draped across it. The feeling overwhelmed him, made him feel so _full_ , as if his lungs were pressing against his ribcage and it was hard to breathe. Hongbin buried his face into the crook of his elbow. 

Taekwoon took his hand, their fingers entwined, and his arm was pulled away. Taekwoon pressed both of his hands against the bed. “No,” Taekwoon murmured, leaning down, their lips barely brushing as he spoke. “I want to see your face.”

He pressed a kiss against Hongbin’s mouth, letting it linger just long enough for Hongbin’s heart to skip before pulling away. His lips dragged across his cheek, pressing little kisses at his jaw line just below his ear. It tickled, and Hongbin squirmed, raising his shoulders and trying to twist away. Taekwoon only laughed into his ear, kissing his cheek. Taekwoon was about to playfully take the shell of his ear between his teeth before the door knocked.

Taekwoon and Hongbin froze, the reality of the situation hitting them again. Truly, they had gotten lost amongst themselves, so absorbed in their own magic, their own company, that they had forgotten about the fact there were others in the house. Hongbin felt Taekwoon’s disappointment, felt him press it into his mind but barely enough to influence him before pulling away.

Wordlessly, he fiddled with his hair, making sure it wasn’t so messy, and Hongbin snorted, sitting up. Taekwoon rolled his eyes and turned around, opening the door.

It was Hakyeon, now in different clothes. A pale purple sweater this time; star-patterned pajama pants. His hair was wet, his face a little damp from his recent shower. He looked a little calmer despite the bags weighing down his cheeks, and certainly less hostile. He looked at Taekwoon, silently acknowledging, before looking over at Hongbin. His face softened. “I’m sorry, Hongbin.”

Hongbin blinked. “It’s-- it’s fine.” He wasn’t sure exactly what Hakyeon was sorry for but felt he shouldn’t be regardless. “You can’t… you can’t help it.”

“I am still sorry. For making you upset and uncomfortable. It wasn’t the introduction into our home that I wanted.”

 _Our_ home. Jaehwan, Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s. Hongbin looked at Taekwoon, who frowned, the expression ever so slight. His mouth parted to speak, uncertain, but Hakyeon made a flippant hand gesture.

“It would probably be better if we started all over.” Hakyeon took a deep breath, exhaling with the same, gentle smile he gave him earlier. “Why don’t you come into the living room so we can discuss arrangements? I believe Jaehwan is making refreshments.”

Hongbin smiled to himself. Truly, what would these two do without Jaehwan? The feeling of gratitude was similar to what he could feel Taekwoon feeling, and their mutual emotion had them make eye-contact, smiling softly at each other. Hongbin broke away before he became lost in Taekwoon’s eyes again, returning to Hakyeon, who had already begun walking around and out. Taekwoon went straight to his side as Hongbin stood, like a trained dog. Hakyeon lead the way, as Hongbin and Taekwoon walked side by side behind him.

“Arrangements?” Hongbin asked softly.

“About forming the pack.” Taekwoon supplied, leaning down to murmur it. Their hands entwined again. Hongbin felt the calm wash over him. Holding Taekwoon’s hand felt like finally returning home after a long day out. Their magic settled happily.

“Mm,” Hongbin simply replied, eyes a little glazed, drunk off the magic. He registered Taekwoon’s happiness, and he couldn’t help but smile at him. Taekwoon gave a little smile in return.

Led back into the lounge room, where the boxes still lay; some partially unopened. There were, however, flyers strewn across on the coffee table.

Hakyeon perched on an armchair Hongbin guessed was his, with how naturally he settled into it. Taekwoon slid into the loveseat, hand coercing Hongbin to sit beside him. Hongbin complied, shooting a glare that Taekwoon smiled at. Hongbin sighed at him and looked over at Hakyeon.

Hakyeon had his ankles crossed, hands in his lap. He was very poised as if he were some English upperclassman around for tea. Hongbin was a little amused, and Taekwoon must have felt it, because he wrapped his arm around Hongbin and pinched Hongbin’s side, making Hongbin jerk.

“Hey,” Hongbin grumbled, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “You’re getting cheeky.”

“He’s getting lovestruck.” Hakyeon murmured, and Hongbin flinched, forgetting they had an audience. He looked at Hakyeon, a little embarrassed, and Taekwoon’s fingers ran through the hairs at the back of his head. It was probably meant to calm him down, but it made Hongbin nervous, glancing over to him.

Taekwoon was watching him with a sappy look on his face, and Hongbin blew up his cheeks, nudging his hand away. “We’re-- in front of people.”

Taekwoon just laughed softly, a little puff of air that had the tips of Hongbin’s ears red.

The sound of footsteps revealed Jaehwan’s entrance, and Hongbin craned his neck to see him come from the kitchen, sparkling sodas on a tray, complete with straws and little paper umbrellas. His smile was bright, pretty lips and sparkling eyes; Jaehwan was effortlessly beautiful, and Hongbin admired his jawline as Jaehwan set the drinks down on the coffee table, pushing aside some of the flyers.

Hakyeon smiled a little as he reached over to take a glass, sipping as he folded his legs on the armchair, assuming a more casual position. Jaehwan sat on the box he was sitting on earlier, taking his own drink.

“Now,” Hakyeon began, stirring the soda with the straw. “Taekwoon and I have agreed that this house can only fit about six people comfortably. Any more and it could get a little too roomy.”

Jaehwan and Taekwoon simultaneously nodded in agreement, and so Hakyeon went on. “So, Taekwoon vouched earlier that we could ask Sanghyuk, as he already knows us.” Hakyeon looked at Hongbin now, lowering his drink. “It would be good for him too because he is such a late bloomer. We could help him get used to the magic faster than he would alone. It would also be safer.”

“Safer?” Hongbin asked, slowly picking up a soda and giving it to Taekwoon before taking one for himself. Hakyeon’s expression darkened some.

“Late bloomers are, well…” He sighed, tilting his head to the side. “For lack of a better word, more animalistic. A fully-grown Wolf has come out all at once, rather than an adolescent hitting around puberty, so suddenly, you have a very strong instinct you’re not used to that you have to force down. It’s particularly rarer around city areas, as most families are generations out of the wild, so the magic is weaker because it is never harvested. Sanghyuk probably has a wild wolf down the line.” He sipped on his drink, obviously trying to calm himself down a bit. Taekwoon and Hongbin’s magic must be omnipresent; Hongbin wondered if there was a way to hold it in for him, but he imagined that if there was, Taekwoon would have told him so earlier. “Would you be able to ask if he was interested?”

“Yeah, I-- sure.” Hongbin nodded.

“And you -- you do not want to become part of this pack?”

Hongbin hesitated. Hongbin was leaning against Taekwoon’s side, and so he had to look up at him. Taekwoon only smiled softly. “I…” He hadn’t wanted to. He’d wanted to take this slow, but since saying that, he’d bonded with Taekwoon, fallen for him. He hesitated, looking down. He supposed it would be inevitable.

Taekwoon watched him, drawing small circles into Hongbin’s hip with his finger. His eyes told Hongbin that there was no rush, no pressure, that he didn’t have to be a part of their pack if he didn’t want to be. Hongbin smiled, appreciating it, and would have leaned down to kiss him if they didn’t have company. It physically ached to break eye-contact and look at Hakyeon instead, a gentle smile on his features.

“I plan to,” Hakyeon gave a little gasp as Taekwoon’s hold became tighter, squirming a little. “Just-- I mean, I live in my dorm, I’d have to move out, and arrange all that kind of thing-- it just won’t happen straight away.”

Hakyeon only smiled, expression warm. “Good. I am glad you came to your senses.”

Hongbin squinted at him and Hakyeon just gave a small little laugh as he went back into his drink.

“So, with Sanghyuk as a maybe, and Hongbin as a yes,” Hakyeon looked down at the flyers. “It means we want a sixth person to complete our pack.”

Taekwoon hums against the straw. Hongbin watched as Taekwoon’s pretty pink lips curved around it.

Hongbin blinked. “What… what were you looking for?”

Hakyeon shrugged, passing him a flyer. Hongbin took it, taking a moment to read it before looking back at Hakyeon. “You’ve left it pretty much open to everyone, other than the age bracket.” It was nineteen to twenty-eight. Hakyeon nodded as Hongbin put the paper back down amongst the others.

“Yes, well, I don’t think we can afford to be too picky. Not many people these days are willing to move out of their homes and come into a city pack lifestyle unless it happens naturally. People are too set in their ways.” Hakyeon sounded a little annoyed by this. “We provide them a number and we’ll give them an interview, which I would like everyone to attend.”

Hakyeon gave a sweeping glance to everyone, lingering on Taekwoon. “Particularly because our pack is somewhat unconventional.”

“Unconventional?” Hongbin replied.

“Hakyeon,” Jaehwan began, speaking up after remaining silent this whole time. “Is more or less our leader, and for a leader being an Omega, makes it automatically unconventional.”

“There will be people we interview who think Taekwoon is a weak Alpha because I am taking a more-so leader role,” Hakyeon added. “But that is good because we can weed them out easily. We don’t want people like that.”

Hongbin looked at Taekwoon, eyes searching for something he didn’t know himself. He leaned in, pressing a small kiss on top of the apple of his cheekbone, watching how Taekwoon’s eyelashes fluttered when he pulled away.

“So tomorrow,” Hakyeon began, staring pointedly at the lovebirds entranced in each other’s spells. “I will put these up around nearby, and we will start taking calls.”

“Sounds good,” Taekwoon replied softly, his thumb idly stroking Hongbin’s side. He looked over at Hongbin, voice soft. “Make sure you tell Sanghyuk about it.”

“Mm,” Hongbin replied, wanting so badly to kiss him. Taekwoon’s eyelashes slanted down to Hongbin’s mouth, obviously sharing the same thought.

Jaehwan jerked up, looking a little nervous, before collecting Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s empty glasses. Hakyeon sighed - the sound more fond than burdened, standing up. “I am going to retire to my room to do some paperwork. Please do not have sex on the couch.”

He squinted, pointing at them both as Taekwoon and Hongbin simultaneously blushed. They watched Hakyeon wear a smug smile as he walked off. Hongbin’s head immediately bowed, but hearing Taekwoon laugh softly had him calm. He cupped the back of his neck, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead before breaking away.

“I love you,” Taekwoon whispered as if he had not a care in the world.

“And I, you,” Hongbin replied; and he meant it, with all his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a twitter! please add me on @psithurisma ! it's locked but i'll accept everyone's requests. 
> 
> and comments are always super duper welcome!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin crouched before him, watching Taekwoon’s broad chest rise and fall, how his little pink lips were slightly parted. Seeing him like this, eyelashes against his soft cheeks, face at peace, he felt a swell of affection flutter in his heart. He loved him.
> 
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> Thank you for reading so far into the story! 
> 
> WARNINGS FOR CHAPTER: NC-17

  
“Are you even listening?”

Taekwoon’s eyes lifted to Hongbin’s eyes, whose eyelashes were wet with sleep, his cheeks soft, lips a little chapped. Taekwoon hadn’t been listening -- he’d been too caught up in the swell of magic between them that he’d lost track of everything but the man in front of him; where he was, what he could hear, the time passing. His fingers carding so gently through Hongbin’s locks that curled softly around his face.

“I am listening.” He responded.

Hongbin looked at him, unimpressed, before sitting up on the bed, the blankets slipping off his lithe frame. Taekwoon couldn’t help but look; he was so pretty. “Well, then, I better go.”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened; _why must he go so soon?_ He gave a small sound of protest that felt foreign to him, taking Hongbin's wrist. “Go where?”

Hongbin sighed, though he wasn’t truly annoyed; Taekwoon would be able to feel it. “I was just saying that I had a class today, and I have to ask Sanghyuk about the pack.”

Taekwoon slumped back down on the bed, cheek meeting the pillow. His nose scrunched up, obviously displeased. “Is university truly necessary,” he asked, though already knowing the answer to the question.

In which Hongbin replied with a curt, “yes.”

Taekwoon huffed and rolled over, knowing he was being childish. He heard Hongbin sigh and shivered as he felt Hongbin’s hand rub his side, hoping to comfort him. “I’ll be back after,” Hongbin promised afterward. Taekwoon was coerced to lay on his back again, and Taekwoon frowned at him. He felt Hongbin’s amusement seep through his bones; what was he laughing at?

“I do not know why you’re laughing,” Taekwoon mumbled.

Hongbin’s smile was beautiful. “You’re cute.”

“I--” Taekwoon’s jaw snapped shut. Hongbin only laughed at him, leaning down to kiss his cheek. Taekwoon couldn’t pull away even if he tried. Hongbin went to move away, but Taekwoon grabbed at his shirt; it was one of his own, a little too big, so it stretched as he pulled. “You don’t have to go.” The magic was already pining.

Hongbin looked over his shoulder. “I do. Hakyeon marks attendance.”

“I will bribe him.” Taekwoon blurted. “He’ll pass you, I can convince him.”

Hongbin just smiled, scooting back just a little to kiss Taekwoon’s nose. “Nice try,” He replied, and Taekwoon’s face fell. Hongbin wriggled out of his hold, getting up to shower.

\--

Hongbin sent Sanghyuk a quick text, asking where he was, as he walked into university. His backpack slung against his back felt strangely heavy, though Hongbin supposed that might be the magic weighing him down. It felt strange to be away from Taekwoon like this; it didn’t hurt, but Hongbin felt strangely numb. Like he had pins and needles in his feet and he had to concentrate more in order to walk.

“Hey,” Hongbin jumped as he was tapped on the shoulder, turning around to look up at Sanghyuk.

“Oh, Sanghyuk…” Sanghyuk smiled, but it was weary. Bags weighed down his cheeks, his skin didn’t glow as much as it usually did. His hair in a disarray, like he had forced himself to come. Hongbin was rendered a little speechless. “I-- what’s wrong?”

Sanghyuk’s face softened, looking away as he shook his head. “Just… Mum.”

“Oh.” Hongbin murmured. “I-- you…”

Sanghyuk took a little to respond, a deep crease between his brows. He stared at the concrete below them as if he was willing himself to find the words. “The hospital rang me. The magic is still depleting from her body, after the treatment. It didn’t…” Sanghyuk willed himself to breathe. In, out. “It didn’t halt the process… it’s just getting worse…”

Hongbin looked away himself. Not many people could survive something as severe as this; a disease where your very magic that keeps you alive and well begins to disintegrate within your very blood. Hongbin couldn’t imagine Sanghyuk’s mother as a soulless shell. He could barely imagine what it must feel like to Sanghyuk.

“So… how long…”

For a moment, Hongbin thought Sanghyuk wasn’t going to respond. “A few days, maybe.”

“A few--” Hongbin jerked in shock, though rushed forward as Sanghyuk’s face crumpled, sucking in a shaky breath. Hongbin hugged him, and it took a while for Sanghyuk to hold him back. Sanghyuk’s chest shuddered as he breathed, and Hongbin held him all the more tighter. Hongbin took his hand, wanting to take him somewhere more secluded; lectures be damned.

They sat down on one of the benches in one of the small parks; it was early morning, so there were only a few students laying on the grass with their laptops. Sanghyuk sighed and seemed grateful to be able to sit down, slinging off his bag. It looked as if Sanghyuk’s bones were made of lead; how tired he was, how his eyes never met Hongbin’s but looked at the table between them.

“I’m going to miss her.” Sanghyuk murmured, and Hongbin offered a sad smile and reached over to take his hand.

“I know you will.” He squeezed, and Sanghyuk just bowed his head. They sat in silence for quite some time, Hongbin hoping to be a quiet comfort to him. Eventually, Hongbin spoke. “Your father…”

Sanghyuk’s hand slowly slipped away from Hongbin’s. For a brief moment, Hongbin thought Sanghyuk wasn't going to elaborate further, though the tense line of Sanghyuk’s shoulders curved up as took a deep breath through his nose. “I rang him last night, but as usual, no answer.” He replied quietly. “So I left a message on his answering machine. Hopefully, he’ll… ring me back.”

“Surely he will.” Hongbin murmured.

Sanghyuk’s face softened. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you.”

Hongbin smiles faintly, barely there. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Everything will… probably go to me, but, I can’t afford to… upkeep and pay for our home… so I will have to move out… possibly sell it, even though there are so many memories…” Sanghyuk had his chin tucked into his chest, his face crumpling again. Hongbin rounded the table almost immediately, sitting beside Sanghyuk on the seat and pulling him into his chest. Sanghyuk's body shook like leaves in the wind, head buried in Hongbin’s shoulder, hands curled, breathing erratic. His hands eventually slipped down to Hongbin’s waist to loosely hold him.

Sanghyuk’s breath shuddered as he spoke again, squeezing his eyes shut. “I know it… it sounds like I’ve already given up… and I shouldn’t… I know, it’s… but the doctor said…”

Hongbin’s forehead creased in concern. He sounded so… lost. “It’s okay, I know.”

Sanghyuk slowly unraveled from himself, head down. “I don’t know what… I should do… where I’ll go…” He wiped his tear trails with his thumb, eyelashes wet.

“I… well…” Hongbin doubted this was the right time for this, but perhaps it might give Sanghyuk something he can feel to fall back on. “Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Jaehwan told me to ask you if… you’d like to join their pack.”

Sanghyuk blinked. “They’re going back to the wild?”

“No,” Hongbin couldn’t help but smile. “Just a city pack. Everyone living together, so-- you would have your own room, and… Taekwoon and Hakyeon are leading it.”

Sanghyuk stared at Hongbin for a moment, processing the information. “And they… wanted to me to…?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you want to, the option is there. You don’t have to make a decision now or-- or anything, but you’re… whatever happens, you won’t be alone, okay?”

Sanghyuk’s face softened. “Thanks, Hongbin. You’re a good friend.”

  
\--

  
Hongbin sighed softly, the magic had been like ball and chain to his bones walking out of the university; making his movements sluggish, difficult to think. He had surprised himself, though, having made it through a tutorial - despite missing Hakyeon’s lecture with Sanghyuk - with a relatively clear head. As Hongbin opened the little gate to Taekwoon’s house and letting it click behind him, his fingers traced the grooves of his claiming scars. He shivered.

He allowed himself in, the door unlocked, the croak of the stairs now familiar. Opening the door, Hongbin allowed his magic for a moment to react to being so close to Taekwoon, feeling it jitter excitedly in his veins. The weight lifted off him too, his movements precise again; it was very welcome; Hongbin hated feeling like some kind of drunkard.

“Taekwoon?” He murmured quietly. He could feel Taekwoon’s aura in the living room; his magic giving a subtle pull towards it. Surely Taekwoon would be able to feel it.

He rounded the corner, and he sighed fondly at the sight. Sitting on the couch, Taekwoon slept, a pink blanket over his lap, neck craned to the side. Hongbin walked quietly over, not necessarily wanting to wake him, just wanting to be close. Taekwoon’s black, whispy hair fell just above his eyelashes, curling slightly. His hair was getting a little long, but Hongbin found it so endearing he could barely tell him.

Hongbin crouched before him, watching Taekwoon’s broad chest rise and fall, how his little pink lips were slightly parted. Seeing him like this, eyelashes against his soft cheeks, face at peace, he felt a swell of affection flutter in his heart. He loved him.

The thought still surprised him; since meeting Taekwoon it had been nothing but a rollercoaster in such a short period of time. It was as if Taekwoon had taken his life and given it back to him off-kilter. Everything was the same, and yet so different. As Hongbin looked up to Taekwoon’s face, his own expression softened, before lowering his gaze to Taekwoon’s hands. Big palms, long fingers, yet thin pale wrists. Hongbin reached over, fingers slowly curling around Taekwoon’s wrist, his thumb feeling the soft skin underneath. He sighed softly as he felt the magic suddenly course through them, like a dam broken. Gooseflesh prickled his skin underneath his sweater.

Taekwoon’s fingers twitched underneath Hongbin’s arm before his fingers slowly gripped Hongbin’s wrist in tandem. Taekwoon squeezed, just slightly, the feeling sending sparks of magic up his arm. Hongbin looked up to see Taekwoon looking down at him sleepily from under his fringe. The corner of his lips curled up in a small smile, before closing his eyes again.

“I missed you.” Taekwoon murmured, voice so sweet. Hongbin’s face creased in emotion with how beautiful Taekwoon was, how calming the magic was, how Taekwoon’s affection for him sank through his bones. Taekwoon loved him so much, and Hongbin could feel it -- Hongbin wondered if any flawed being deserved being loved as much as Taekwoon loved him.

The emotions coursing through Hongbin had him stutter, his reply belated. “I missed you too.”

Taekwoon hummed, arms outstretching just a little in an invitation. Hongbin swallowed, though climbed up into Taekwoon’s lap. The magic sighed in relief as their chests met, how Hongbin lowered his face into Taekwoon’s shoulder, how Taekwoon’s hands, now unlinked, wrapped his arms around Hongbin’s small waist and held him close. The magic sent out waves like it had its own pulse; or perhaps it was their own, hearts beating together. It felt calm, and right and Hongbin was happy in a way he was unsure that he knew what happiness was before meeting Taekwoon.

They sat like that, losing track of time, the world, together. Hongbin pressed a tiny kiss to Taekwoon’s neck and smiled when Taekwoon shivered. Taekwoon’s hand slowly slipped up, under Hongbin’s sweater, palm sliding up against Hongbin’s side. Hongbin shivered; Taekwoon’s hand was cold, leaning back as his spined craned away. Taekwoon’s head tilted up at him, eyes smiling. Hongbin’s torso shivered under Taekwoon’s hands as they began to ride up his sweater, exposing his tummy and then his chest. Taekwoon surprised him by leaning over and pressing a kiss to his sternum before looking up at him, arms wrapping around him and pulling him close.

“I love you,” Taekwoon murmured, and seemed content with the way Hongbin melted in his hands, how Hongbin leaned down to kiss down into his mouth. Their lips moved together, over and over, making Hongbin feel weak and like jelly. Taekwoon’s little, high-pitched gasp into his mouth had arousal pool below his belly.

“I can’t believe you skipped my lecture to have sex--” A new voice had them break apart immediately, the realization of the outside world making them both flinch and startle. They both stared up at Hakyeon, whose blazer rested on shoulders, standing with a cocked hip and folded arms. Hongbin flushed, climbing off Taekwoon and sitting by his side again.

“He just got here,” Taekwoon said, not phased at the least being caught in the middle of a make-out session. “He skipped your lecture because he is a bad student--”

“I did not!” Hongbin elbowed him as Taekwoon laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek as an apology.

Hakyeon squinted. “You’re lucky I didn’t mark attendance. Sanghyuk was gone as well.”

Hongbin, cheeks still pink, bit down on his lip. “Yeah, I was-- with him… he… his mother isn’t well.”

Hakyeon blinked. “What?”

Taekwoon had turned now too, looking up at Hongbin. “How sick?” He murmured.

“She will…” Hongbin leaned into Taekwoon’s hand as his cheek was cupped. “Probably pass, in a few days…”

“W-What?” Hakyeon blurted, and he and Taekwoon exchanged worried glances.

“She has Magic Depletion.”

Hakyeon visibly slumped, and he had to make his way down onto his recliner to sit down, looking at his hands. “Poor Sanghyuk…” He murmured to himself, face full of concern. “What is he… where is he now?”

“He said he wasn’t… up for classes, and so I saw him to his car he-- said he would be fine. I didn’t really… want to argue.”

Hakyeon frowned, face creasing with it, elbows on his knees, hands knitted. “He shouldn’t be alone. Not like this. We should invite him over. For dinner.”

“For dinner?”

Hakyeon nods. “Do you have Sanghyuk’s mobile number?”

Hongbin nodded, taking out his phone. To his surprise, Hakyeon reached out for it as well as fished out his own phone from his pocket. Hongbin watched as Hakyeon copied the number into the phone, but his attention shifted to Taekwoon, who squeezed his hip in comfort. Hongbin turned his head to look at him, and Taekwoon’s face softened, leaning in to slowly nuzzle his nose.

The magic buzzed happily under his skin, and Hongbin turned his face into Taekwoon’s cheek, pressing a kiss. He heard Taekwoon hum, and he leaned into him, raising his hand to Taekwoon’s chest as he curled his fingers into the fabric. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply, and it felt like roses bloomed within his lungs. He loved him.

“Taekwoon…”

“Hm?”

“He’s coming.” Hakyeon’s voice, again, cut him out of a love-drunk stupor he hadn’t even realized he was having. Both of them stirred, Taekwoon breaking away, hand still on Hongbin’s hip.

“What do you mean?”

Hakyeon stared at them both, then sighed. “I just had a ten-minute conversation with Sanghyuk. He’s coming to dinner around 5.”

“Ten minutes--?” Hongbin croaked, staring over at Taekwoon. Taekwoon had taken his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing it a little.

Hakyeon just shook his head, looking at his phone. He didn’t seem angry; Hongbin didn’t know Hakyeon well enough to understand. He was tense, though, hand slightly quivering around the phone. “It’s-- it’s your-- soulbond. Anywho, I need to ring Jaehwan, see if he’s coming tonight too, and-- I also got a few texts from people interested in our pack today.” He pocketed his phone.

Taekwoon blinked, and Hongbin felt his surprise trickle into his magic. “Already? I only put them out this morning.”

Hakyeon nodded. “I’ve arranged some interviews. We should all be free for it.”

  
\--

  
The dinner turned out to be pizza take-out; of course, Hongbin didn’t mind. No one particularly felt like cooking, and everyone enjoyed pizza. Hongbin broke a piece of garlic bread for Sanghyuk who sat cross-legged on the couch, face tired but eyes happy. Happy as they could be, at least.  
  
“Thanks,” Sanghyuk said quietly, taking a small bite. He hadn’t much of an appetite; it was as obvious as the half-eaten piece of pizza on his plate. He had even come in his pajamas -- his soft tartan pants dragging slightly over his heel as he had walked in.

Taekwoon entered the room then, a sparkling drink in either hand. Leaning down in front of Hakyeon, he set one on the coffee table before him,, who smiled up at him in thanks. Taekwoon patted Hakyeon’s knee, though they both almost jerked at the same time, heads turning to Sanghyuk. Hongbin blinked, looking over as well, but didn’t see or feel, anything out of the ordinary, other than Sanghyuk staring down at his garlic bread. He was tense, though Hongbin dismissed that; he didn’t want to press on it either. He wanted to try and get Sanghyuk’s mind on something else. Taekwoon then slumped on the couch beside Hongbin, knees brushing as Taekwoon took a piece of pizza.

Sitting in between Taekwoon and Sanghyuk, Hongbin did his best to pay attention to Sanghyuk, lest he becomes overwhelmed with the soulbond with Taekwoon and forget everyone in the room. Taekwoon seemed to wordlessly understand; being close to Hongbin was enough for now.

“Sanghyuk, would you be like to be here for the interviews?” Hakyeon asked whilst pulling the olives off his pizza.

“Interviews?” Sanghyuk blinked.

“Ah, I’m sorry, did Hongbin--”

“Oh, the... the… you want me to join your pack, right?” Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow, though his face softened as he took a small bite of the garlic bread. “Yeah, Hongbin mentioned it to me. I--- there’s a lot to--- think about right now. After… it…” Sanghyuk swallowed. “After. I’ll… think about it properly.”

“Of course,” Hakyeon’s voice was as gentle and understanding as Hongbin had ever heard it. Hongbin supposed Hakyeon was well-accustomed to losing loved ones, and at the thought, Hongbin had to look away. “But, if you… ever wanted to sit on one, just to see… what it’s like… you’re welcome to.”

“Thanks, Prof-- Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk gave a shy smile that Hongbin couldn’t help but smile at.

“Also,” Hakyeon piped, slightly louder. Jaehwan, who had been busy shoveling left-over pepperonis into his mouth, now stared up with loaded cheeks. Taekwoon also looked up, a piece of pizza dangling from his mouth. “Taekwoon, you need a haircut.”

Taekwoon slowly lowered his pizza. “I do not.”

Jaehwan had managed to swallow his food because his mouth began to slowly form a wolfish grin. Hakyeon stared back at Taekwoon, some kind of fire sparked inside of him. “Yes, you do.”

Taekwoon glared back. “No.”

“I am _not_ having you with long and knotty hair again. That looked absolutely terrible and I will not stand for it when we’re living in the city.”

Taekwoon was growing tense. “It’s not that long--”

“It is over your eyes now, it needs to be cut!” Hakyeon chastised, pointing now.

“I can see just fine--” Though Hakyeon had moved, leaning over to the coffee table and sliding one of the drawers out. Jaehwan had moved too, but towards Taekwoon, eyes alight with mischief. Taekwoon went to stand up, though Jaehwan pushed him back down, and before Hongbin knew it, Hakyeon was sitting on Taekwoon’s lap with a pair of scissors, and Jaehwan had run behind the couch.

Taekwoon was arching his body back into the couch as Jaehwan did his best to hold his head still. Taekwoon’s jaw was clenched, glaring up at Hakyeon.

“For God’s sake, Taekwoon, stay still or your fringe will be even more choppy than last time--”

“There was a last time?” Hongbin heard Sanghyuk murmur incredulously, and Hongbin turned to look at him. Sanghyuk was trying not to laugh as Jaehwan whined that Taekwoon was struggling too much over the top of Hakyeon now threatening that he _will_ cut Taekwoon’s fringe more than half way up his forehead if he persisted.

Taekwoon was hence reduced to sitting there, eyes scrunched shut and fists clenched, obviously angry that he was being subjected to this. Hongbin couldn’t help but to find the whole situation amusing, and leaned over a little to rest his hand on Taekwoon’s curled one. It seemed to soothe Taekwoon some, as he unraveled his hand to hold Hongbin’s but squeezed, almost painfully. The scissors continued to snip across his hair until Hakyeon brushed the hair away from Taekwoon’s forehead and off his face.

“Done.”

Jaehwan immediately took his hands off Taekwoon’s head, rounding the couch to have a look at Hakyeon’s handiwork.

“Well,” Jaehwan began, biting his lip. “It’s better than last time.”

Taekwoon looked murderous.

Hakyeon was trying not to laugh. “Oh-- oh Taekwoon-- you look--”

“I think it looks cute,” Hongbin thought aloud. They all turned to look at him, now with a full fringe clipped just above his eyebrows. Taekwoon immediately deflated, followed by a chorus of patronizing awes from Hakyeon and Jaehwan.

“It’s okay if Hongbin finds it cute--” Jaehwan was cut short as Taekwoon had shoved him away. Hakyeon climbed off his lap before Taekwoon targeted him too, perhaps noticing how riled up Taekwoon was getting. Hongbin leaned in further, kissing his cheek despite the audience, not wanting Taekwoon to be so upset. The magic was punishing Hongbin for it as if begging him to fix the problem; make him happy.

“It does.” Hongbin smiled, wiping away some of the stray hair on Taekwoon’s cheek. Taekwoon looked at him, his shoulders slumping a little, squeezing Hongbin’s hand more gently this time. “It looks nice. I like it.”

Taekwoon looked so pouty it was almost child-like; Hongbin smiled and Taekwoon looked away coyly. Hongbin wrapped his arm around Taekwoon’s front, bringing him into a hug, which Taekwoon almost hid in. He could hear Jaehwan and Hakyeon’s voices of dramatic disgust; like kindergarteners discussing girl cooties.

“We better leave the love birds,” Jaehwan said good-naturedly, picking up the plates as Taekwoon and Hongbin simply held each other, in their own world again.

“Yeah I--” Sanghyuk sounded a little nervous. “I better go, anyway. Thanks for the-- the pizza, I appreciate it.”

“It’s okay.” He met eyes at Hakyeon, who smiled and stood up. “I’ll see you out.”

  
\--

 

“It… must be hard for you, to see them like that.” Sanghyuk said quietly to Hakyeon, as they walked down the steps of Hakyeon’s home together.

Hakyeon frowned, though not meaning to. “It is.” He wasn’t going to lie to Sanghyuk, not when Sanghyuk had been so open with Hakyeon during their phone call earlier about his mother. He stopped in the middle of the pathway of their front yard; bordered by obscurely shaped potted plants whose leaves draped over the terracotta. It was night out now, but the breeze was warm against Hakyeon’s skin. “It is, but, I am trying to see it positively. Perhaps seeing it so much, there will be a time where I become so accustomed to it, I will not associate soulbonds with…” His name, just say it, Hakyeon, he scolded himself. He screwed his eyes shut as he forced himself to say it. " _Ravi,_ anymore. Or I-- I will be able to look back at him with fondness, and just that. I think Ravi would prefer that.”

“Do you think it is working so far?” Sanghyuk’s voice was so gentle, as if Hakyeon may shatter if he said the wrong thing. Perhaps he would. Sometimes it felt like it.

“Of course not.” Hakyeon just smiled sadly, looking down. “I don’t think I can be fixed. I’m too broken. I’m not… strong enough.”

There was a pause, and Hakyeon swallowed. Perhaps he had said too much; it was one of those things people rarely could find the right words to respond with, let alone anything at all. “Anyway, I--”

“I think you’re very strong,” Sanghyuk murmured, and Hakyeon looked up, eyes wide. Sanghyuk’s face was hard with sincerity, his eyes showing a maturity that Hakyeon had never associated him with. Sanghyuk had always been this tall, bumbling student-- “I… admire you a lot. You’re still here, you’re still… caring for people, wanting to move on. Even though it’s so hard, you haven’t given up. I don’t think a lot of people could do that.”

Hakyeon could cry. “That’s sweet of you, Sanghyuk.”

“I mean it.” They ended up at the gate, and Sanghyuk looked down at him. Hakyeon tilted his head a little, not understanding the lingering stare he was given. Though as Sanghyuk leaned down and pressed a small kiss to Hakyeon’s cheek, and let it linger just enough for it not to be chaste, Hakyeon understood.

Oh.

“Goodnight, Hakyeon.” Sanghyuk murmured, straightening back up. Hakyeon watched wordlessly as he watched Sanghyuk open and close the gate behind him; watched his broad back as he walked to his car. Sanghyuk drove away, and Hakyeon found himself touching his cheek, still feeling the warmth of Sanghyuk’s mouth there.

Oh no.

 

  
\--

  
  
“Sanghyuk…” Hongbin, sitting on his side of Taekwoon's bed in nothing but his underwear, looked up as Taekwoon began to speak. He watched as Taekwoon took off his sweater and folded it, putting it in the dirty clothes basket. “Will be some work.”

Hongbin tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

Taekwoon frowned, and Hongbin could feel Taekwoon’s emotions rumbling inside him like bottled thunder, he mimicked Taekwoon’s expression. “He will be difficult.”

“Because he’s a late blooming Alpha?”

Taekwoon hummed, though said no more. Hongbin supposed Taekwoon would elaborate later, and sighed, laying down on the bed. He yawned, stretching his arms up towards the ceiling, curling his fingers before he let his limbs flop onto the mattress.

“Come to bed already,” Hongbin almost whined, patting the mattress beside him. “Do the … the … whatever you’re doing later.”

Taekwoon looked over at him, eyes sparkling as if he thought Hongbin was cute. Hongbin huffed a “fine,” and turned his back to him, closing his eyes.

After a few moments, Hongbin felt Taekwoon settle beside him, both physically and spiritually, the gentle lean of the mattress and the fluttering of magic. Hongbin turned around and opened his eyes, noticing that Taekwoon had dimmed the lights, not too bright and not too dark; enough to see each other's faces in the tinted light. Taekwoon sighed softly, nestling beside him and wrapping an arm securely around Hongbin’s waist. Their noses brushed, but rather than it being awkward, it was intimate, Hongbin’s heart thudding heavily in his chest. Taekwoon’s eyelashes fluttered closed, a soft, contented hum escaping him. The thunder inside Taekwoon was long gone and was replaced with calm. Hongbin leaned in, pressing a small kiss to Taekwoon’s pink mouth. The gentle buzz of magic coursed through them.

Taekwoon’s eyes slowly opened, and Hongbin’s breath hitched. They were so intense, yet so concurrently gentle. Eyelashes slanted down towards Taekwoon’s lips and back up to the man’s eyes in a subtle hint. Taekwoon seemed to get the message and leaned over, parting his lips so slightly, and kissed him. It was gentle, lovely, their mouths moving slowly together so wonderfully it was like that was what they were made for. Hongbin supposed that perhaps, in a way, they were.

Taekwoon broke away, his hand raising and cupping Hongbin’s cheek, his thumb sliding across his cheekbones. Hongbin leaned into the feeling.

“I want you,” Taekwoon said softly, his voice so quiet, Hongbin wondered if it were only because of the magic he heard him.

Hongbin gazed up at him slowly, voice quiet. “You already have me.”

“No.” Taekwoon’s hand lowered to Hongbin’s hip, pulling him in slowly and oh. His thigh met Taekwoon’s crotch, cock half-hard and beginning to strain against his underwear. Hongbin’s eyes widened, gazing up at Taekwoon’s unblinking, half-lidded stare. “I want you.” He said again.

“A-Ah,” Hongbin all but stuttered, his chest feeling warm. He suddenly began to feel a little nervous, and Taekwoon must have felt it, removing his hand from Hongbin’s hip and wrapping it around his waist, bringing him in for a secure hug.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to.” Taekwoon said quietly. There was no disappointment or annoyance in his voice. Hongbin knew that it really was okay. He relaxed some in Taekwoon’s arms, and Taekwoon slowly rubbed circles into his skin with his fingertips. He pressed a small kiss to Hongbin’s forehead. “I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

Hongbin smiled slowly, breaking away a little. “I want to take it slow,” Hongbin said quietly. “Can we… we warm up to it, or something? So I feel more comfortable…” His eyes darted away shyly, dipping his head a little as Taekwoon’s gaze was so warm yet unyielding. Sometimes they felt like spotlights on his soul.

Taekwoon’s finger gently tilted Hongbin’s chin up, so their eyes met. Taekwoon’s brows slightly furrowed, and when he believed that Hongbin wasn’t going to duck his head again, he removed his fingers. “What do you want me to do?”

“I…” Hongbin swallowed. “Can I… Can I touch you?”

Taekwoon’s eyes widened, though gave a single nod. Hongbin supposed he was surprised, though he was feeling a little nervous himself. It wasn’t a bad thing, Hongbin thought, the nervousness. He wanted to do it, but he was scared he’d do it wrong and embarrass himself. He went a little pink, as Taekwoon rolled onto his back.

“Can I straddle you?” Hongbin asked quietly, and Taekwoon nodded. Hongbin then lifted himself onto Taekwoon’s hips, pelvis resting just above his crotch, legs either side of him. Taekwoon’s fingers took Hongbin’s hips gently, as the latter splayed his hands over his chest. He felt his heartbeat like this, strong under his palms, and knew it was beating in time with his. His fingers slowly slipped down, feeling the ridges of the skin, the small scars, and abrasions he had felt before. A shiver went through Taekwoon, and Hongbin looked up to see Taekwoon watching him intently. Hongbin bent down, kissing his soulmate’s sternum lightly, the air thick with bond magic as it hummed around them, feeling it tremor down his chest and sink into his bones.

Taekwoon’s body was beautifully broad, wide shoulders and a defined chest, pale skin with muscles rippling down the front of his torso. “You’re beautiful,” Hongbin said softly. Taekwoon seemed to squint at him, as if to wordlessly deny his claim, and Hongbin laughed quietly, hands trailing down to feel the man’s abdominal muscles. Taekwoon had abs, though not too defined as if he had become lax lately. Though Hongbin didn’t mind at all; those kinds of things didn’t really mean much. He scooted backward - carefully avoiding his crotch - to kiss just below his navel, three times.

It must have been infuriating for Taekwoon, for as he went lower and took his time and kissed here and there, his grip tightened on Hongbin’s hips, and then his thighs. Hongbin’s hands were now down to Taekwoon’s navel, noticing his V-line sloping down into his underwear. Hongbin noticed the pressing bulge in his pants, noticed the slight pant escaping Taekwoon’s lips, eyes gazing up nervously before looking down.

“Can I?” He murmured quietly, and Taekwoon nodded.

His hand slowly went to Taekwoon’s clothed cock, palming him gently. Taekwoon’s breath hitched, and they both shuddered from the magic pulsing through them. He continued, watching how Taekwoon twitched and trembled, finding it a motivator to keep going. His cheeks were warm, feeling himself growing harder just by watching Taekwoon, biting his lip as Taekwoon’s hips involuntarily rolled into his hand.

“Please.” Taekwoon murmured, so quiet: a soft whine. Hongbin smiled at him and removed some pressure from his hand to tease him, finding him adorable the way he wanted more. Taekwoon noticed Hongbin’s smile, and frowned, his hips pressing stubbornly into Hongbin’s hand. “Stop teasing me.” He grumbled. So cute.

Taekwoon’s cheeks were pink: Hongbin could make out in the little light. It gave him the courage to remove his hand completely - making Taekwoon groan in frustration - and instead, hook his fingers around the waistband of his boxers and pulled downwards. Taekwoon’s cock sprung free, curling upwards, pink head flushed prettily. Hongbin swallowed, feeling nervous again, straddled on Taekwoon’s thighs and not sure what to do.

“Taekwoon I… don’t know…”

“Here.” Taekwoon’s hand, gentle, reached for Hongbin’s and guided it to his cock, and Hongbin curled his hand around the head, where small beads of precome had escaped. It was warm, a little heavy in his hand, Taekwoon’s cock a little above average. Taekwoon’s hand guided Hongbin’s, down and back up the shaft in a gentle pump, and Taekwoon gave a soft whimper. He could feel it, how the magic flowed through them, ecstatic in the intimacy. Taekwoon mouthed a small yes as Hongbin began to take initiative, doing to Taekwoon what he would usually do to himself. He began to stroke harder, hold a little firmer, his face still flushed. Taekwoon was so hard he was now keening, hips continuing to roll into his hands. Seeing Taekwoon begin to whimper, and how his head fell back into the pillow, Hongbin felt a surge of affection for him, for them, for their bond. How his chest rose and fell and then stuttered when Hongbin’s thumbed his head made Hongbin smile fondly, leaning down then to experimentally kiss the tip.

Taekwoon looked back down at the feeling, cheeks so red they were now tinting his ears. Hongbin slowly put his mouth to the head, lips wet and glossy. His eyes trained on Taekwoon as if wanting to know his reaction, his tongue then swirled against him, giving a small suck before lifting his face again.

The groan escaping Taekwoon was so frustrated it left him ruffled. Hongbin only grinned. He guessed that was a good sign.

“You are …”

“Hm?” Hongbin gave a slow lick to Taekwoon’s slit, and Taekwoon’s eyes squeezed shut before he sighed shakily.

“... quite good … good at this …”

“Really?” Hongbin’s eyes lit up, and Taekwoon gave a little nod, flustered.

“But an awful tease.” Hongbin slowly leaned down, his hands shaking a little from nervousness, but managed to kiss the underside of his cock in response, licking underneath and Taekwoon’s hands fisted the sheets. “Hongbin.”

“Yes?”

“Please.”

“Please, what?”

Taekwoon slid him a glare, and Hongbin pouted childishly. When Taekwoon seemed to realize Hongbin wasn’t about to relent, he bit his lip, his hips rolling into him. “Please… don’t stop…”

Hongbin nodded, his hand quickening the pace, pumping his cock as Taekwoon moaned softly again, back arching ever so slightly.

“You’re so beautiful…” Hongbin whispered, continuing to jerk him off as he leaned down to kiss his pretty chest. “You’re so beautiful, Taekwoon.”

Taekwoon’s face was twitching a little in the pleasure, his eyelashes fluttering as his hips stuttered. Hongbin gazed down and saw that Taekwoon had only grown harder, and Hongbin bit his lip but didn’t stop the pace. “Hongbin, I’m… going to…”

“Come. It’s okay, come for me, Taekwoon.” Hongbin whispered, and with a few more quick pumps, his Alpha came with a shuddering sigh; a soft, high-pitched, whimpering noise.

Come splattered against Taekwoon’s own stomach and shaking thighs. Hongbin slowed down, continuing gently as Taekwoon rode out his orgasm, his body shaking in aftershocks as his knot eventually began to shrink down. Taekwoon was beautiful, sweaty and disheveled.

Hongbin let go to climb back up and kiss him on the mouth. Taekwoon was still panting, so he was slow to reciprocate, but Hongbin smiled regardless. He affectionately nuzzled his nose into the soft of Taekwoon’s cheek, eyelashes dancing on Taekwoon’s cheekbones as he whispered:

“Did I do good?”

“Yes…” Taekwoon said breathlessly, reaching up and pulling him down, kissing him properly now. Hongbin smiled into the kiss, slow and full of affection. Taekwoon ran his hand through Hongbin’s hair, breaking the kiss as he gazed at him fondly, his face still flushed. “You were so good.” He kissed him again, still panting softly. “Always... so good.”

Hongbin reddened, his body settling next to Taekwoon’s snugly, head on his shoulder. Taekwoon looked at him, fingers carding through his hair idly, watching Hongbin’s eyelashes flutter shut. Taekwoon leaned over slowly, mouth to his ear. “Would you like your turn?”

Hongbin’s heart jolted, his eyes opening to gaze at Taekwoon. His expression was soft, fond, and Taekwoon kissed his cheek. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’ll promise to be gentle.”

Hongbin swallowed, though smiled softly, a dimple creasing his cheek. “Okay.”

Taekwoon nodded, and leaned in again for a kiss, slow and wonderful, easing him into it. Taekwoon’s hands were at his waist, pulling him in and then pushing him onto his back slowly. “We’ll take this slow.” He said, not a question, but Hongbin nodded anyway. He watched him as Taekwoon’s fingers began to slowly trace down Hongbin’s stomach, pulling up his shirt gently and exposing his pale tummy. Taekwoon leaned over, kissing the muscles on his stomach, and Hongbin shivered. Taekwoon came back up, rubbing circles into his skin, soothing him as Taekwoon’s soft lips left sweet kisses across his jawline and neck. Hongbin relaxed, being eased into it with Taekwoon’s soft caresses, kisses, and touches, and his face was going a little pink. Hongbin whispered something thoughtlessly that even he, himself couldn’t hear, though realized what he had said afterward and swallowed.

“What was that?” Taekwoon murmured against Hongbin, lips now at his shoulder, against his claim mark.

“I love you,” Hongbin whispered, and Taekwoon stilled for a second before his head raised. Their eyes met, and Taekwoon smiled. He pressed his forehead to Hongbin’s, and Hongbin’s mind was bombarded with the happiness and affectionate emotions Taekwoon was sending through to him, so strong and so wonderful that Hongbin’s eyes were watering. His heart swelled.

“I love you too.” He said finally, kissing his lips, and Hongbin stifled a moan through it.

“I really love you.” Hongbin blurted through the kisses, hands reaching up to cup Taekwoon’s face. “I love you more than anything, I-” Hongbin began to grimace, and Taekwoon’s hands winded around him, bodies now turning onto their sides as they both lay on the bed. Taekwoon pressed foreheads with him again, and Hongbin was given calming emotions, his worry and anxiety somehow understood despite him not having to voice it. His anxiety of losing Taekwoon, of him going away.

“I’m yours forever,” Taekwoon said softly, and Hongbin almost sobbed, and they kissed, and kissed. “I love you more than anything.”

The kisses became passionate, wet, desperate. Hongbin found his hips instinctively rolling into Taekwoon’s, and Taekwoon reacted immediately, his hand sliding down Hongbin’s chest and beginning to palm Hongbin’s now hard cock through the fabric. Hongbin moaned, his hips wriggling a little at the feeling before keening into his hand. He had to break away to catch his breath, tucking his head into Taekwoon’s neck as if to hide. He rolled his hips into Taekwoon’s long fingers.

  
Hongbin heard a little question murmured into his ear: “You want it?”

In which Hongbin responded with an affirmative groan, and Taekwoon’s fingers curled around the waistband of his briefs and pulled them down over his ass, flinging them somewhere behind him. Taekwoon gazed down and his hand immediately curled around Hongbin’s cock. He trailed his fingers up the underside, lips quirking in a small smile as Hongbin whimpered into his neck.

“It’s okay,” Taekwoon whispered softly, his other hand wrapped around under and around Hongbin’s waist, holding him firm. He was trembling from the pleasure, as Taekwoon began to pump his member slowly, listening to the little sounds Hongbin made. Hongbin began to pant against Taekwoon’s skin, and Taekwoon’s eyelashes fluttered shut as he began to grip Hongbin a little harder, move a little faster, thumb rubbing against the head down to the base.

“Oh,” Hongbin whispered, hips and trembling thighs tilting up to meet his hand. “Oh, Taekwoon. It feels good…”

Taekwoon slowly unwound himself from Hongbin, and Hongbin gazed at him in confusion. Taekwoon smiled and dropped down the bed until he was head level with Hongbin’s cock. Hongbin looked down in terror, though Taekwoon took his hand slowly, comfortingly. He gazed up in question, as if asking wordlessly it was okay, and after Hongbin controlled his breathing, he swallowed and nodded.

Taekwoon kissed the tip, and Hongbin’s breath hitched. Taekwoon began to take him in his mouth, and Hongbin moaned, his arms flinging beside him as his hands gripped the sheets, needing leverage. Taekwoon’s hands gripped Hongbin’s thighs, spreading them. His lips glided over Hongbin’s cock, tongue sliding up the underside.

Hongbin moaned loudly, trying desperately not to buck into Taekwoon’s mouth as Taekwoon’s cheeks hollowed and sucked, coming back up. He was beginning to become unbearably hard and only groaned again when Taekwoon began to bob his head. The wet sounds that escaped Taekwoon’s mouth made Hongbin shiver, his trembling knees raising and his toes curling. Taekwoon’s tongue then swirled on the head, and Hongbin looked down to see Taekwoon gazing up at him through long eyelashes.

“Taek…” Hongbin’s hands bunched at Taekwoon’s hair, and Taekwoon groaned around Hongbin. He pulled a little, and Taekwoon leaned into it. He smiled then, amused by how much Taekwoon liked people touching his hair, though, with another lick, another suck, Hongbin thrust lowly into Taekwoon’s mouth. Taekwoon began to take him all in, and Hongbin’s head tilted back onto the pillow again.

“Taekwoon…” He moaned. It was bliss. His vision felt like it was going hazy. His stomach felt tense and wound like a compressed spring.

Taekwoon removed his mouth and kissed the tip again and began to give little kitten licks to the head. Hongbin almost swore, letting go of the man’s hair and instead gripped the sheets again. Taekwoon sat up in a seating position again, settling between Hongbin’s bent knees. “Taekwoon I…”

“Come, darling.” He whispered so gently, and his hand went to Hongbin’s member again, pumping it as it throbbed. Hongbin whined, sweat beading at the roots of his hair, and then he gave a long moan as he came almost obediently, shooting white across Taekwoon’s chest. His toes curled and body trembling and his head tilted back.

His body felt like jelly by the time he came down after his high. Taekwoon lowered himself down to Hongbin, kissing the side of Hongbin’s parted lips and smiled, not pressing their bodies together since Taekwoon was sticky with come. Hongbin, as gross as he felt that was, wouldn’t have minded, but Taekwoon was sliding off the bed. He grabbed the tissue box as Hongbin slowly, shakily, sat up. He watched Taekwoon begin to wipe his chest and tummy, splattered with both their come and Hongbin gave a small laugh, beckoning him over. Taekwoon did so, almost a little shyly, and Hongbin smiled. He sat on the bed with the tissue box, and Hongbin pulled some out and wiped Taekwoon’s chest. Taekwoon watched him unblinkingly, and Hongbin could feel it. Sanghyuk had told him that Taekwoon looked at him as if that was the only thing that existed to him. As if his whole world revolved around him. Hongbin supposed in a way it did, to the both of them, and so Hongbin looked back up and met Taekwoon’s gaze, watching Taekwoon’s expression go to something almost intense and thoughtful to something warm and sweet. They kissed briefly, a simple brush of lips before Hongbin began to wipe at his tummy.

“You’ll need a shower.”

“Mm. I like -”

“You like-”

“Baths.” They said at the same time, and they smiled at each other a little shyly, and when Hongbin finished cleaning up, Taekwoon brought him into an embrace. He kissed Hongbin’s cheekbone, so light Hongbin could barely feel it.

“I love you,” Taekwoon whispered.

“I love you too.” Hongbin grinned at him, dimples appearing either side of his cheeks, and Taekwoon took his hand, standing up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The first person should be here soon,” Hakyeon announced, as if everyone didn’t already know, “we only have two interviews today, so we’ll--”
> 
> “Hakyeon,” Taekwoon said softly, and Hakyeon looked around immediately. He stared up at him. “Everything will be fine.”

Chapter 9 

 

Hakyeon was flurrying about, and Hongbin hadn’t ever seen him with such energy. He could sense Taekwoon’s amusement as well as Hakyeon put everything in order. He had set everything up; the laptop, the paperwork, his mug of coffee precariously placed on his coaster. Hongbin couldn’t help but to smile a little. 

“And the-- the house is clean?” Hakyeon asked, and Jaehwan gave a small small huff of indignation. 

“Of course it is,” Jaehwan replied, plopping himself on the couch. “Everyone looks nice, too, we’ll give a good first impression.”

Hakyeon nodded, and Taekwoon took Hongbin’s hand, leading him over to the sofa. Hongbin sat beside Jaehwan, looking over his shoulder as he played some kind of tetris game on his phone. Jaehwan did look nice; ironed dress shirt and dark slacks, his hair styled into a curl. Hongbin had been much more casual with his approach, only wearing a sweater with jeans, but Taekwoon didn’t seem to mind. 

“The first person should be here soon,” Hakyeon announced, as if everyone didn’t already know, “we only have two interviews today, so we’ll--”

“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon said softly, and Hakyeon looked around immediately. He stared up at him. “Everything will be fine.”

Hakyeon sighed, nodding, visibly trying to relax. “You’re right, I’m going to go get a glass of water.” 

He left the room, and Taekwoon sat himself on the ground, between the sofa and the coffee table, right in front of Hongbin. Hongbin smiled, leaning over to ruffle Taekwoon’s hair. Taekwoon made a little disgruntled noise, pinching Hongbin’s leg. Hongbin yelped and lightly kicked him, and he heard Taekwoon’s laughter shake the magic between them. 

There was a knock on the door, and there was nothing less than a stampede of footsteps running down the hall, with Hakyeon screeching a “I’ll get it!” 

They couldn’t see, but only heard the exchange. It was a few pleasantries, though the stranger sounded a little stiff talking to Hakyeon. Hongbin could feel Taekwoon tense in front of him. 

Hakyeon and the newcomer rounded the corner, and Hongbin regarded him. He was around the same height, a beta, dressed in a simple turtleneck and ripped jeans; soft features. He was a Beta, as far as Hongbin could tell. 

He sat on the cushion directed by Hakyeon, as Hakyeon settled beside Taekwoon. 

“So, this is Taekwoon, Hongbin and Jaehwan. As you can probably tell, we have a soulbonded pair,”

“Yeah,” the stranger replied, looking between Taekwoon and Hongbin pointedly. Hongbin frowned a little. There was something in the way he was only half-listening to Hakyeon that made him uncomfortable. 

Hakyeon didn’t seem to notice, and continued talking. “This is Nam Taehyun, a beta. We have a few questions to ask, so please answer them as truthfully as you can,” he began, lifting the laptop lid. When Taehyun didn’t answer, Hakyeon simply continued. 

“Are you acquainted with any of us already?”

“No,” Taehyun drawled. Hongbin could feel the magic jitter unhappily around Taekwoon. 

“Are you able to move in within three months, and live in the communal household?”

Taehyun looked at Hakyeon, his frown deepening. Hakyeon stared back at him. Taehyun looked over to Taekwoon, as if to completely disregard Hakyeon. 

“Are you seriously going to let an Omega speak for you? Aren’t you the Alpha?”

Taekwoon had been looking at a point in the coffee table as Hakyeon had been speaking, but as he was talked to, Taekwoon slowly raised his gaze. 

Taekwoon’s alpha aura exploded into the air to the point even Hongbin could feel it. Taehyun flinched back, toppling over the cushion, eyes terrified. Taekwoon’s gaze was intense, his aura overwhelming, and Taehyun was already scrambling to his feet.

“Leave,” Taekwoon murmured, though Taehyun reacted as if he had screamed it, for he ran out the room. They all heard the door slam shut behind him. 

The silence was broken by Hakyeon sighing. “Well, that is that.” He put Taehyun’s file into another, entitled, failed. 

Jaehwan yawned, stretching his hands up and arching his back like a cat before flopping back down on the couch. “I’m gonna go make something, anyone want something to eat?”

Everyone gave small noises of agreement as Jaehwan climbed off the couch and left to the kitchen. Hakyeon followed him a few moments afterwards, leaving Taekwoon and Hongbin in the living room. 

 

Taekwoon’s aura was still simmering, and Hongbin slowly slid down the sofa to nestle beside him. Hongbin gazed up at him, wordless, before tucking himself into Taekwoon’s side. Taekwoon took a deep breath as he willed himself to calm. 

“I love you,” Taekwoon murmured, and the confession took Hongbin by surprise. Taekwoon slowly took Hongbin’s hand, and brought it up to his lips to kiss the back of his palm. Hongbin sighed softly, winding his arm around Taekwoon once his hand was lowered. Hongbin rested his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder, knowing his presence was like a balm. 

“I hate it when,” Taekwoon began, “people treat… Hakyeon like that. Omegas… like that. I’m sorry if my anger scared you.” 

Hongbin looked up at Taekwoon, a little lost for words. Taekwoon’s eyes were suddenly so sad, and Hongbin lifted his hand to cup Taekwoon’s cheek. “It didn’t,” he replied softly. “He was an asshole, your anger was justified.” 

Taekwoon’s face softened under his palm, and he shifted his weight onto Hongbin to kiss his temple. He almost fell on Hongbin, and Hongbin laughed. His face scrunched up as he struggled to stay upright. Taekwoon’s aura seemed much better now, and if anything, it was enveloping Hongbin with love, not hurt. Hongbin did end up falling onto the ground beside him, but Taekwoon’s laugh was beautiful. Hongbin had to stop and stare for a moment, before Taekwoon helped him sit up again. 

“Though I think…” Hongbin began, as Taekwoon wrapped an arm around his waist. “I think we might need new door hinges, he slammed the door pretty hard.”

Taekwoon’s face broke into a smile, his eyes sparkling. He leant over again, though this time to kiss Hongbin’s mouth softly. Hongbin’s hand scrunched up the fabric of Taekwoon’s shirt as they kissed, over and over until the remaining anger bled out. They broke away, and Taekwoon was a little breathless. They pressed foreheads, and Taekwoon’s hands cupped Hongbin’s face, kissing him again softly, one, two, three, before he opened his eyes. 

Hongbin smiled up at him, and Taekwoon’s expression was so full of love it made Hongbin’s heart ache. 

“Could we… go on a date, tonight?”

“Tonight?” Hongbin asked, a little surprised. Taekwoon nodded, wetting his lips nervously. He lowered his hands, and instead took Hongbin’s, squeezing them gently. 

He nodded, “meet me outside the house at six, and -- make sure you’re hungry.”

Hongbin stared at him for a moment, wondering how he had gotten so lucky. “Of course.”

 

 

Taekwoon and Hongbin had been soaked up in each other’s magic that it seemed barely five minutes before Jaehwan came back with sandwiches and drinks. Hakyeon, shoving a ham and cheese sandwich into his mouth, stated the next person should be very soon. “I made the appointments in half hour intervals because I wanted to give them benefit of the doubt that the interviews would be long,” Hakyeon sighed. 

Jaehwan patted him in the back. “Not our fault that people are backwards.”

Hakyeon gave Jaehwan a brief smile of appreciation. “Yes, hopefully the next person -” the door knocked, but this time Taekwoon was the one to raise to his feet, “-will be better.”

Hongbin got up after him, the unnecessary - at least to Hongbin’s magic - separation making him anxious. He was sure Taekwoon was the same, for his hand was already reaching back for Hongbin to hold. Hongbin took it gratefully. 

Taekwoon opened the door, greeting him with a soft hello. The man was tall, about the same height as Taekwoon, and quite obviously Alpha. He looked at Taekwoon, his deep voice rumbling in a brisk reply before looking down at Hongbin. His features shifted into a more predatory gaze as he looked at Hongbin. 

“Oh, hello,” he fair crooned, and Hongbin fought back a grimace. 

Though, he really didn’t have to. Taekwoon slammed the door in his face. 

Hongbin would have bitten back a laugh if Taekwoon wasn’t so obviously angry. The sound had startled Hakyeon, whose head popped around the corner, his eyes full of questions. “What happened?”

“Disrespect.” Taekwoon growled, and he stared through the door viewer. Clearly, the alpha must have walked away, for Taekwoon relaxed somewhat and murmured: “asshole.”

Hongbin patted Taekwoon’s shoulder in an effort to calm him down. Hakyeon stared at them both for a moment before sighing, walking back to the sofa. “Well,” he sighs. “That was a productive day.” 

Jaehwan was laying across the couch, eating sandwiches. “It’s for the best,” he replies, speech muffled. “We don’t want losers in our squad.”

“We wouldn’t have you then, if that was the case,” Hakyeon retorted, and laughed brightly when Jaehwan kicked him with his foot. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he swatted Jaehwan’s foot away. He looked up at Jaehwan, who beamed back. 

 

**

 

Hongbin had dressed nicely. It felt a little odd to be dressed like this, if he was true to himself, but he had no idea where Taekwoon might be taking him, so he wanted to look pretty regardless. He’d even put on fragrance, whilst cringing at himself in the mirror. 

But he’d done it. There was no turning back now.

He knocked on the front door of Taekwoon’s house. Hakyeon’s wind chime softly sang in the breeze as he waited. 

Taekwoon opened the door, his face expectant, though seeing Hongbin his shoulders fell, and he blinked in surprise. Hongbin felt himself hold his breath, wondering what was wrong, but one look into Taekwoon’s eyes and his anxiety melted away. 

“Oh, Binnie,” he murmurs, taking a step forward. 

Hongbin sighed half fond, half exasperated. Taekwoon had done his hair nicely, but he was wearing a turtleneck and skinny jeans. “I’ve overdressed, haven’t I--”

“No, I-- you look beautiful.” Taekwoon smiled, cupping Hongbin’s cheeks. He kissed him, brief and sweet, and Hongbin lifted his hands, curling his fingers around Taekwoon’s wrists. 

“You didn’t tell me where we were going,” Hongbin’s voice bordered a whine. “So I thought it’d be best if I dressed up.”

“Mm,” Taekwoon hums in agreement, taking a step back to look at him up and down. “You look pretty. Beautiful, Binnie.”

Taekwoon hadn’t called him Binnie before today. “Binnie?” He asked softly, trying to ignore the sudden warmth of his cheeks. 

His soulmate nods, tilting his head at him a bit. “I thought it was cute. Is it okay?”

It was pretty gross, actually. Grossly sweet, but he supposed it was okay if Taekwoon said it. “I will allow it,” he huffs, and Taekwoon laughs, taking his hand. “So where are we going?”

Taekwoon’s eyes sparkled. He was beautiful like this; the rich green of the sweater really suited him. “I-- I actually thought we’d have it here,” he said softly, his eyes a little apologetic as his stare seems to linger on Hongbin’s hair, the pretty blazer. “Everyone is out and I-- I thought it’d be nice if we… spent the night here.”

“Oh,” Hongbin replied, though the sound was purely fond. His features softened. 

“I-- I prepared dinner.” Taekwoon licked his lips, nervous now. He tugged Hongbin’s hand a little as they both took a step into the warmth of the house. The nights were getting much colder now; winter was nearing. 

Hongbin leant in, kissing his cheek. “You cooked me dinner?”

Taekwoon’s shyness was endearing as he looked away, nodding. Hongbin stepped into Taekwoon’s side, tucking himself against him. He squeezed Taekwoon’s hand.

“That sounds lovely,” Hongbin confessed, and Taekwoon smiled gently.

They went up the stairs, holding hands like childhood sweethearts. Hongbin could smell food; but he couldn’t see it until Taekwoon led him down the hallway, and slid the door open to the balcony. 

Hongbin stepped outside, his attention immediately taken by the fairy lights, twinkling golden and pink as they were winded around the top of the railings. On the balcony was a table and chairs, dressed complete with a small candle between them, flickering softly between the meals waiting for them. 

Hongbin then looked at Taekwoon, who still held his hand, leading him to the table. The warm glow of the lights were so pretty against his cheeks. Hongbin felt himself in a bit of an awe as he sat down, and Taekwoon lowered to the chair opposite. 

Hongbin stared at him. 

Taekwoon stared back, but was the first to look away, ducking his head a little. 

“Say something,” he murmured, and Hongbin flinched. 

“W-what?”

“You -- haven’t said anything…” 

Hongbin swallowed. His throat was dry. It was true, he’d been too busy gawking at everything, he’d forgotten to voice how… wonderful it was. Hongbin bit his lip, and he went all warm. It was as if the magic was coating him like a blanket. “I--” He simply ended up laughing softly, breathless, “I just can’t believe I…” 

Taekwoon stared at him, and it made Hongbin nervous. He fidgeted. 

“I just feel… I just feel really lucky,” he mumbled, looking at the candle between them. “Being with you, I’ve… never felt so happy. I am in awe of how … wonderful you are.” Hongbin felt dangerously close to crying, but he swallowed it down for now. This was not the time. Definitely not the time. 

“Hongbin,” Hongbin’s heart skipped at how warm Taekwoon’s voice was, and he looked up. Taekwoon reached out, and Hongbin mimicked him. They held hands. “Hongbin, I love you more than anything, but I do not wish to get too emotional right now,” a corner of his mouth tugged up, amused. “You don’t want to cry on your dinner. There is enough salt in it as it is.” 

Hongbin laughed, and Taekwoon did too. Their hands unravelled in favour of their meal. It was pasta with chicken and a cream sauce, amongst other ingredients Hongbin wasn’t sure of. Regardless of what was in it, it smelled delicious. “I wasn’t sure what kind of… alcohol you liked,” Taekwoon began as Hongbin lifted his fork. Hongbin blinked at the empty wine glasses between them. “So I asked the… the assistant, what kind of wine would go best with what I was making you. She gave me this, so I hope it’s good.”

“You didn’t try it?” Hongbin asked, amused, as Taekwoon unscrewed the cap. He poured them both the wine, and as Taekwoon put the bottle aside, they raised glasses with a small clink. They both took a decently size sip before lowering the glass. 

Hongbin squinted at little at the drink, swallowing. Taekwoon didn’t say much either. 

“It’s horrible,” Hongbin declared, and Taekwoon’s nose pinched.

“It is a bit.” They looked at each other and laughed. Taekwoon spun the label of the bottle towards him so he could read it. “I’ll give it to Hakyeon. He has horrible taste.”

Hongbin laughed, and Taekwoon’s eyes twinkled at him. 

 

Hongbin was quick to begin eating, and he didn’t realise how tense Taekwoon had gotten until Hongbin told him it was good. Which was, when Hongbin thought about it, a bit of an understatement. “It’s -- it’s really tasty.” He added quickly, and it was. Quite surprisingly so. Hongbin gazed up at him. “Did you really make this? It’s really good.”

Taekwoon stared at him in mock offense. “Don’t underestimate my cooking abilities.”

“Jaehwan helped you, didn’t he.”

Taekwoon gave a tiny smile, his cheeks bunching up as he tried to suppress it. He looked down at his fork. “A little.”

 

 

When they finished, Taekwoon surprised Hongbin by standing up and turning around. Soon, music was playing softly, and Hongbin looked up at Taekwoon when he outstretched his hand. 

“I thought we’d dance.” Taekwoon murmured. If it had been anyone else, Hongbin thought, he might have cringed, but Hongbin took Taekwoon’s hand without hesitation. With Taekwoon, he wanted to dance. With Taekwoon, he felt like he could do just about anything. 

Taekwoon took him into his embrace, swaying for a moment as they simply held each other. Taekwoon kissed Hongbin’s forehead, holding him secure, cradling Hongbin’s head into his shoulder. “I try and remember what my life was like before you,” he murmurs. He laughs wryly, “but it seems so dull.”

 

Hongbin looked up at Taekwoon, and Taekwoon looked down. Their noses brushed. Hongbin took the initiative, taking Taekwoon’s waist, and Taekwoon smiled, resting his hand now on Hongbin’s shoulder. Their other hands linked, and Hongbin lead them, swaying gently. Taekwoon dipped his head down, resting it on Hongbin’s. The music choice were soft, simple melodies, the type that would be easy to drift off to.

It suited them well, Hongbin thought. Being with Taekwoon felt like a dream.

They swayed, wordless, yet the moment felt as meaningful as a thousand conversations. Taekwoon lifted his hand from Hongbin’s shoulder to tilt Hongbin’s chin up, kissing him. It was intimate, and Hongbin’s heart felt too weak for this, as if it was going to fall apart. Taekwoon stepped even closer, tilting his head as the kiss deepened, just enough for Hongbin to grow warm. His small fist bunched the fabric of Taekwoon’s sweater. His hands trembled, his steps stumbling. Taekwoon was quick to realize how overwhelmed Hongbin was getting, and broke away, opening his eyes slowly. Taekwoon’s own steps faltered a moment when he realised Hongbin was crying, his face contorted in pain. 

“I--I love you,” Hongbin choked, dipping his head down, his hands pulling away to cup his own face. 

“Oh, my love,” Taekwoon’s voice sounded broken, and Hongbin was brought into his chest. Taekwoon’s arms around him felt so warm, so safe, so lovely. Taekwoon’s arms were like home. Taekwoon held him so gently, yet so firm, as if he never wanted to let go. He was perfect, and Hongbin felt his knees go weak. “Oh, my love,” Taekwoon murmured against Hongbin’s hair, as Hongbin wept into his chest. “I love you too.”

 

**

 

It was a beautiful day, the grass soft under black formal shoes, the autumn leaves crunching underneath the soles. There was not a cloud in sight, but the breeze was cold. Everyone shivered, but they couldn’t blame it on the air. Sniffles surrounded them, and Hongbin slowly took Sanghyuk’s hand, linking their fingers together. 

Sanghyuk’s tears fell as the flowers were thrown upon the coffin that lowered slowly into the earth. His heavy, shaky breaths were barely heard over the loud committal. 

“Ashes to ashes,” 

Sanghyuk’s other hand was held by Hakyeon. He rested his head on Sanghyuk’s shoulder, rubbing his back with his free hand. The corners of Sanghyuk’s mouth trembled down, squeezing their hands as he attempted to swallow the sobs down.

“Dust to dust.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me, I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait. Thank you for reading, as always.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon’s body lurched to argue but Hakyeon was not having it tonight. He hissed under his breath, knowing someone else was likely upstairs. “You know you are, and I’m disappointed in you.”

 

Hakyeon ripped down the masking tape of one of Sanghyuk’s cardboard boxes, removing the flaps. “Where do you want me to put these?” He asked. He watched Sanghyuk flinch, looking over Hakyeon, eyes so tired.  
  
He seemed to mull it over. “Put it in the cupboard for now,” he replied, gesturing it with his hand. Hakyeon nodded, pulling out the folded linen, the pillowcases, the duvet covers, placing them into one of the shelves.  
  
Sanghyuk had been unwrapping valuables. A lot of which were his mother’s, keepsakes he couldn’t bare throw out. He sat on the double bed, staring down at a picture frame. Hakyeon only saw a mirror of himself, burdened by grief, how Sanghyuk’s back curled in on itself. It was all too familiar. Sanghyuk shook himself as he heard Hakyeon walk around the bed, hastily putting the picture frame on the dresser.  
  
“ ‘m fine,” Sanghyuk mumbled, avoiding Hakyeon’s eyes as he stood up.  
  
“Hyuk, I of all people know—“ They met eyes, and Hakyeon’s face fell. Sanghyuk looked defeated.  
  
“I know,” he replied, voice soft, “but it still… isn’t good for me to curl up into a ball and cry about it.”  
  
“If it helps—“  
  
“It won’t. She wouldn’t… want that anyway.” Sanghyuk’s eyes darted around, avoiding Hakyeon’s face for a moment, before he exhaled a sigh. They both knew grief wasn’t as easy as that, and Hakyeon supposed Sanghyuk simply needed the presence of another person to keep himself together for now.  
  
“Alright,” Hakyeon nodded, looking around with his hands on his hips. “What next?”  
  
Hyuk looked at the clutter of unopened boxes. “Might as well get the rest of the keepsakes over and done with,” he murmured. Hakyeon was already moving to the next box labelled fragile, carefully tearing it open. There were items inside wrapped multiple times with newspaper, and Hakyeon brought the box over to the bed.  
  
Hyuk carefully took the first one out, unwrapping it gently. Inside was an intricate teapot, and Hyuk’s face softened.  
  
“It’s beautiful,” Hakyeon commented quietly, looking up into Sanghyuk’s eyes, who simply stared at the pot.  
  
“Yeah, it is,” he said softly. His eyes flickered up at Hakyeon’s, turning away to put it on the dresser. “I’ll put it  in the kitchen, I guess—“  
  
The door knocked, and Sanghyuk and Hakyeon turned. Jaehwan popped his head into the door, looking over at them. “Dinner’s ready--! Woah, that teapot!” Jaehwan’s features lit up prettily. “Was that your mother’s?”  
  
Sanghyuk flinched a little, the teapot still in his hands. “Y-Yeah?”  
  
“You should bring it into the kitchen! I’d love to make tea with it.”  
  
Hakyeon frowned, stern. “Jaehwan, it’s a—“  
  
“You should,” Sanghyuk interrupted, standing up. Jaehwan smiled, this time a little softer; most likely because Hakyeon looked unhappy. “You should make tea with it.” _She’d like that,_ was left unsaid. Jaehwan nodded as he was passed the teapot, looking up at Sanghyuk with a grin.  
  
“I’ll make tea she would be proud of,” Jaehwan nodded, looking over at Hakyeon. “Come on, dinner. Before Taekwoon and Hongbin realize they’re alone and we find them making out or something.”  
  
Jaehwan turned quick enough to not catch Sanghyuk flushing. Hakyeon sighed, his movements graceful as he slipped off the bed. Sanghyuk looked at Hakyeon before he awkwardly followed Jaehwan, leaving Hakyeon to tag along behind them.  
  
They hadn’t talked about the kiss, nor about Sanghyuk’s obvious feelings for Hakyeon. As Hakyeon stared at Sanghyuk’s back as they walked down the stairs, he held back a sigh. He didn’t know what to tell him. Surely Sanghyuk would know that Hakyeon simply wasn’t thinking of anyone other than Ravi, nor of the _prospect_ of anyone other than Ravi. It had been two years, but Hakyeon wasn’t over it. He doubted he ever would be.  
  
It was also a problem that the timing would be considered terrible to bring it up. Sanghyuk’s mother had just died, Hakyeon didn’t want to break his heart even further.  
  
They came into the dining room. Taekwoon and Hongbin weren’t making out, but were holding hands on top of the table, very much in each other’s company. Hongbin’s expression was utterly blissed out, his head resting on Taekwoon’s shoulder.  
  
Hakyeon wondered if he had ever looked as sappy as Taekwoon looked in that moment. He felt Taekwoon’s alpha aura explode into the room as the others came in; unintentional, but especially protective and possessive. Taekwoon’s hand tightened around Hongbin’s, nudging him with his shoulder as Hongbin stirred, blinking up at them.  
  
“Hey,” Hongbin slurred, rubbing his eyes. Taekwoon ran his hand delicately through Hongbin’s hair, ignoring the way Jaehwan rolled his eyes and went off to grab the food, Hakyeon following. Sanghyuk tentatively sat down at the table. He could tell Hongbin was trying to shake Taekwoon’s magic off him in order to give Sanghyuk attention, tucking himself in a bit.  
  
“Did you unpack? Are you done?” Hongbin asked again. Sanghyuk stiffened. Taekwoon wouldn’t stop _touching_ him. The protective display did nothing to calm Sanghyuk’s nerves, even though Hongbin wasn’t even _his._ It took him a moment to reply, pulling his eyes away from Taekwoon and offering a small smile.  
  
“Almost,” he replied quietly.

Hakyeon and Jaehwan came out of the kitchen, both with steaming hot pots, rich with meat and vegetables, laying them on the table. Sanghyuk immediately perked up, eyes glued to the broth still bubbling before him.  
  
“It looks great, Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk smiled up at him, who grinned back.  
  
“I thought I’d make something special for our first official dinner as a pack, well, before our claiming ceremony, at least.”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked. “First official—?”  
  
Hakyeon’s face softened as he sat beside Sanghyuk. “We were waiting for you, Sanghyuk.”  
  
Sanghyuk glowed a little.  
  
Jaehwan passed Sanghyuk a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. Jaehwan next to Hongbin, and Hakyeon obediently waited for something.  
  
Sanghyuk picked up the chopsticks, reaching over to the hot pot, before Taekwoon’s gaze lifted. Sanghyuk flinched, feeling the aura, and then felt the warmth of Hakyeon’s hand, pushing his wrist down.  
  
“The Alpha takes the first meat,” Hakyeon murmurs quietly, and Sanghyuk swallowed, looking up at Taekwoon. He waited patiently, his muscles tense, as Taekwoon reached over to the hot pot. It seemed to take forever, with the pack silent, as Taekwoon took the first piece of pork into his mouth, chewing and then swallowing. He looks over to Hongbin, who gazed up at him questionably, and then nodded.  
  
Hakyeon lets go of Sanghyuk’s wrist as they all dig in. Taekwoon looked back at Sanghyuk, who dumped meat into his bowl. Sanghyuk felt the gaze on him and looked up. Taekwoon was staring at him, as if skeptical; like he didn’t quite believe Sanghyuk existed.  
  
_“Taekwoon,”_ Hakyeon’s voice snapped over the hot pot between them. Sanghyuk flinched, looking at Hakyeon, whose face was red with anger. Taekwoon calmly looked at Hakyeon, raising an eyebrow. “Not _now._ ”  
  
Taekwoon’s jaw clenched, though his long eyelashes slanted down to his own food. He sifted through it wordlessly, picking a piece of meat up and turning to feed Hongbin.  
  
Hakyeon visibly relaxed, taking from the hot pot himself before looking over to Sanghyuk. Seeing Sanghyuk looking so lost, Hakyeon offered a small smile. “Not used to the customs?”  
  
“Not at all,” Sanghyuk murmured meekly. “I don’t even know what the claiming ceremony is.”  
  
Hakyeon could see Taekwoon shifting to look at them in his peripheral vision, but Hakyeon ignored him. Hakyeon lightly traced a crescent on Sanghyuk’s wrist, the one he had taken earlier. “Taekwoon will bite you, will bite everyone here. So that way we are all connected.”  
  
Sanghyuk went a little pale, and slowly removed his wrist. The thought of another Alpha biting him, _claiming_ him, had his Wolf reeling. “No,” Sanghyuk murmured, staring straight at Taekwoon.  
  
“I am the Alpha,” Taekwoon said softly, as if stating a simple fact. Hakyeon decidedly ignored him again.  
  
“I know,” Sanghyuk replied, glaring at Taekwoon unhappily before looking down at his wrist. “Doesn’t mean I like the thought of you _claiming_ me.”  
  
“We can talk about it later,” Hakyeon smoothed his hand over Sanghyuk’s wrist, as if erasing the crescent, the idea of it. Taekwoon bristled. Hakyeon looked over at Taekwoon, who glared at him.  
  
“Taekwoon,” Hongbin’s words and expression were steely when he spoke up, looking up at him. “Leave him alone.”  
  
Taekwoon blinked, as if coming out of a spell, his head jerking robotically as he looked at Hongbin. “What?”  
  
Hongbin looked at him. “Stop,” he murmured, and something happened between them, for Taekwoon’s aura dissipated. Sanghyuk inhaled sharply, as if he had been underwater. He shuddered, and Hakyeon ruffled Sanghyuk’s hair at the back of his head, telling him softly to breathe.  
  
After a moment, Jaehwan spoke up.  
  
“I really hope the sixth member is a Beta,” he looked at everyone pointedly, before shoving pork in his mouth. “You all have enough drama for a reality show. Betas are never nearly so dramatic.”  


 

* * *

  
  
  
“Why are you defending him?” Taekwoon caught Hakyeon before he was about to retreat to his room. Hakyeon looked up at Taekwoon, frowning deeply. He thought he’d be able to slip away before he had to talk about it, but he supposed not. He sighed, resigned, turning to him.  
  
“He just lost his mother, he’s in a new house, with people he’s just starting to get to know,” Hakyeon replied, staring up at him. Taekwoon squinted, opening his mouth to speak. “On top of that, he’s a late bloomer, and you’re purposefully triggering it—“  
  
Taekwoon’s body lurched to argue but Hakyeon was not having it tonight. He hissed under his breath, knowing someone else was likely upstairs. “You _know_ you are, and I’m disappointed in you.”  
  
Taekwoon flinched back as if he’d been slapped. His eyes wide, his hand slipped from the wall for a moment, obviously trying to find words. Hakyeon continued again, “I know this is your first time being an Alpha of a household, considering you were the youngest of three alpha siblings, but you need to get a hold of yourself.”  
  
Taekwoon was staring at Hakyeon’s feet, swallowing. _Good, so he was listening,_ Hakyeon thought to himself. “Sanghyuk is an alpha, a late blooming one at that, but it doesn’t mean _you have to intimidate him into submission_. You need to be his mentor. You’re the only alpha in his life.”  
  
“I’m not his parents—“  
  
“He doesn’t have any,” Hakyeon growled, eyes flickering over to Sanghyuk’s closed bedroom door. “His mother has just died and his father is likely only going to contact him to find out what he was left in the will. You need to guide him. Firstly, though, you need to apologize.”  
  
“Apologize?” Though by the look on Taekwoon’s face, and the softness of his voice, he already knew Hakyeon was right. This time, he saw someone emerge from one of the doors, but this time it was Hongbin, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. It seemed Taekwoon would get two lectures today. Hakyeon nodded to Hongbin, who smiled sweetly back. Taekwoon looked a little pale; if that was possible. He’d completely lost his tan since leaving the wild.  
  
“It seems you’re needed,” Hakyeon waved his hand airily, going into his room. “Goodnight everyone, interviews tomorrow!”  
  
  
  
As soon as Hakyeon closed the door behind him, Hongbin’s smile fell. “We need to talk,” Hongbin said, and Taekwoon looked sheepish. _Good, he should be.  
  
_ Hongbin opened the door for him, and Taekwoon obediently entered. He sat down on the end of the bed, and Hongbin leant against the door after he closed it behind him. Taekwoon said nothing, looking at his hands. It was silent between them, the magic tense around them.  
  
“What did Hakyeon tell you?”  
  
Taekwoon didn’t look up, seemingly finding his hands very interesting. “That he’s disappointed in me, that I should be—Sanghyuk’s mentor… that I need to apologize.”  
  
Hongbin twisted his lips unpleasantly, nodding to himself. His eyes were heavy on Taekwoon, who eventually looked up. “I’m sorry,” Taekwoon murmured.  
  
“I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” Hongbin replied, trying hard not to think how soft Taekwoon looked in that moment. He was angry at him, and was going to stay angry until Taekwoon proved himself better. Taekwoon dipped his head down again. “Well, maybe you do. You lied to me.”  
  
Hongbin sat on the bed beside Taekwoon, not touching him, instead leaning against the wall the bed was pushed against. Taekwoon looked up questionably, as Hongbin picked at the fluff of his pajama pants.  
  
“You told me people aren’t their wolf castes, that you have self control,” Hongbin murmured softly, looking up at Taekwoon. “At dinner, you were more your wolf than the man I know. I’m disappointed, too.”  
  
Taekwoon swallowed, his hands shaking. The magic was crashing against them like the sea against a cliff. It felt terrible, and both of them were clearly on edge, but they had to talk things out.  
  
“You’ve been more possessive of me lately,” Hongbin added, raising his eyebrows. “I haven’t said anything because I just thought that might be just the magic, but now I know you don’t have full control…” His voice trailed off. “You need to work on it, Taekwoon. I’m not a helpless omega, and I know _you_ know that, so you need to control your wolf.”  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes were wide, his hands clasped together as if that would stop the tremors. Hongbin sighed, leaning over and linking their fingers together. It felt as if Hongbin was the cliff, and Taekwoon was the sea. It was strange. Hongbin for so long thought it was the opposite.  
  
“You don’t have to do it alone,” Hongbin murmured softly. “I’m beginning to learn that Soulbonds aren’t perfect,” and he tried hard not to think about how broken Taekwoon’s expression was. Hongbin gave a shaky sigh, “but I love you, and that love is unconditional Taekwoon, so I will always be here to reel you back when you lose yourself. Just as we will be for Sanghyuk. But I can’t forgive this, not yet. You need to try and do better.”  
  
Hongbin leant over, kissing the corner of Taekwoon’s mouth, hating how the corners were turned down. “I love you,” Hongbin said quietly, sincerely, cupping Taekwoon’s face.  
  
Taekwoon’s face softened, and he whimpered a “I love you too,” before curling into Hongbin. Hongbin held him, rubbing his back as Taekwoon trembled. Hongbin kissed on top of his head. They pulled away, and Hongbin tilted his head down to him.  
  
“I need to apologize,” Taekwoon said softly.  
  
Hongbin ran his hand through Taekwoon’s hair. “You do,” he murmured, cupping his cheek. “Do it now, and come back to me.”  
  
Taekwoon nodded, leaning over and kissing Hongbin’s cheek softly before breaking away. Hongbin watched Taekwoon slip off the bed, and close the door behind him.  
  


  
  
  
Taekwoon took a deep breath in front of Sanghyuk’s door, hating how much it shuddered. He had always had the assumption he’d be a strong, unshakable alpha. It seemed that things weren’t as simple as he thought, for the first night of his pack all sleeping under the same roof had left him with two lectures and a needed apology.  
  
Taekwoon had a lot of work to do, but he supposed apologizing would be a good start.  
  
He knocked on the door, waiting for Sanghyuk’s voice.  
  
“Come in,” he said from the inside, and Taekwoon slowly opened the door, wordlessly slipping inside and closing it behind him.  
  
He looked up at Sanghyuk’s face, who obviously hadn’t been expecting him. He sat on the bed, hugging a pillow, looking much younger than he was in his pajamas. He seemed a little speechless, eyes darting around as if he’d find the answer of why Taekwoon was in his room on the walls.  
  
“Have you come to claim me?” Sanghyuk blurted, holding onto his wrist defensively. Taekwoon flinched, frowning.  
  
“No,” he replied, more abrupt than he intended. His eyelashes fluttered, breathing in deeply. He thought of Hongbin, telling himself to reel himself in. “No, I’m—“  
  
“Is this another custom?” Sanghyuk interrupted, and Taekwoon’s lips pressed into a thin line, squinting. Sanghyuk’s jaw snapped shut like a clam.  
  
Taekwoon willed himself to calm again, moving across the room as he sat down on the end of Sanghyuk’s bed. Sanghyuk brought his feet up to give Taekwoon room and let Taekwoon find his words.  
  
“I came, because I wanted to say sorry.” He said quietly, looking up at Sanghyuk. His eyes widened, sitting up a bit. He hadn’t been expecting this. Taekwoon swallowed, before continuing. “Truthfully I… I am finding things very difficult, finding my own wolf… difficult, in this new position, and because of my lack of self control, I made you very uncomfortable, and I am sorry.”  
  
“You were an asshole,” Sanghyuk replied, baiting Taekwoon.  
  
Taekwoon didn’t take it, and instead blinked slowly. “Yes, I was.”  
  
Sanghyuk seemed pleased at that. He relaxed visibly, the line of his shoulders dipping. “I mean, I know better than anyone what an… alpha wolf can make you feel like, so I understand, I guess…”  
  
Taekwoon frowned. “You have a valid excuse, Sanghyuk. I don’t.”  
  
Sanghyuk tilted his head, hugging his pillow a little tighter. “Are you only having trouble with your wolf now? Why?”  
  
Taekwoon nodded silently, mulling over an answer before speaking. “I came from a family, where all my siblings, and both my parents, are alphas. I was the youngest.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s face fell. “Ouch,” he commented softly, and Taekwoon nodded, a ghost of a smile on his face.  
  
“Yes,” he went on softly, “and then, when I was in the wild, my best friend was the Alpha of the pack, and I had been claimed again.”  
  
“Was that—“  
  
“That was Ravi, yes.” Taekwoon murmured softly, nodding. “So I suppose, now that I am the head of a pack, of a family, my wolf wishes to prove himself.”  
  
“Your wolf finally has the authority its been deprived of for so long,” Sanghyuk murmured quietly. Taekwoon nodded slowly, looking down at the duvet cover.  
  
“I’m disappointed in myself,” Taekwoon murmured, “I hurt Hakyeon, I hurt Hongbin, and I hurt you,” he’d probably annoyed Jaehwan too, and the thought of that made his shoulders slump. “I thought I’d be a good Alpha, once given a chance, but it’s a—I feel like it’s going to be a mess. I’m sorry.”  
  
Sanghyuk was silent for some time, looking at Taekwoon. Finally he spoke, his voice a little tentative. “I think… you’ll be a good alpha once you get used to it, it’ll just be with time. I think the fact you want to improve is the most important thing. I didn’t even think you were capable of apologizing to someone other than Hongbin, so you’ve already surprised me.”  
  
Taekwoon dipped his head shyly at that. “Thank you, Sanghyuk,” he murmured. Sanghyuk gave a little wry smile.  
  
“Once you learn to be less of an asshole,” Sanghyuk added, and Taekwoon squinted at him. Sanghyuk only laughed, continuing, “I won’t mind being claimed by you. I think my wolf will, but I won’t, and that’s what matters.”  
  
“We aren’t our wolves,” Taekwoon said softly, as if reminding himself. He looked up at Sanghyuk, as if asking him to validate the statement.  
  
“No, we aren’t,” Sanghyuk agreed, and Taekwoon’s face softened. He reached over and ruffled Sanghyuk’s hair. Sanghyuk smiled, his cheeks bunching up. Sanghyuk really felt so young, though perhaps Taekwoon was simply feeling old. The youth had been sapped out of him.  
  
Taekwoon stood, smiling softly. He felt a lot better, and he was sure, by the way Sanghyuk was looking up at him, Sanghyuk did too. “Goodnight, Sanghyuk.”  
  
“Night, Taekwoon.”  
  
  
  
  
Taekwoon slipped back into their bedroom, where Hongbin was curled on his side. He looked so small on their bed, so sweet, so lovely. Taekwoon felt warmth in his chest, and as he slipped into bed beside him, and softly said his name, Hongbin stirred.  
  
“Woonie,” Hongbin mumbled, shuffling towards him. Taekwoon smiled, the magic now calm, a spring breeze instead of a typhoon. Hongbin was warm and gentle, tucking himself into Taekwoon’s side. “Did you apologize?”  
  
“Mm,” Taekwoon hummed softly, and the magic jittered happily at that. Hongbin sleepily kissed his cheek, wrapping an arm around him.  
  
“Good,” Hongbin replied, voice thick with sleep, “now cuddle me.”  
  
Taekwoon laughed, turning into Hongbin’s arms, holding him close. He didn’t say anything more, knowing Hongbin would be quick to fall back asleep. His own eyes closed, relaxing in the warmth, amongst their magic. This was his favourite time of the day, when they were sleepy, warm, wound up in each other. Taekwoon wished that time could remain stagnant so he could just be with Hongbin, so simply like this. He didn’t know what he’d do without him.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
“I made us food,” Jaehwan announced, holding up a platter of lemon meringues that looked – and smelled – simply delicious. “Just in time for the new guest.”  
  
Jaehwan lowered the platter of meringues upon the coffee table. They had turned the chairs around for the new meeting, and Jaehwan watched with a smile on his face as everyone murmured their thanks and took their meringues. Hakyeon placed his on the table, as if he were too sick to eat, pulling an apologetic face at it. By the time he had paced the room twice, and smoothed down Taekwoon’s hair like a mother, Hongbin had already eaten half of his pie, it was quite delicious. He smiled over his fork at Hakyeon’s motherly bickering, though, and as he looked over to see Sanghyuk gazing up next to him, he could see Sanghyuk was amused too.  
  
Hakyeon squatted in front of the coffee table, taking the stapled sheets of paper from underneath the platter of pies. “He should be here very soon,” Hakyeon noted to himself softly, double-checking the time. He looked up, and found himself looking directly into Sanghyuk’s eyes. Sanghyuk’s eyes were gentle, fond, and Hakyeon found his mouth a little dry. He pulled his eyes away nervously.  
  
It was going to be awfully hard to tell him. Hakyeon didn’t want to break his heart.  
  
“A-Anyway, his name is—“  
  
The doorbell chimed, and Hakyeon sprung up to his feet. Both Taekwoon and Hongbin flinched at the sudden movement, Taekwoon pursuing Hakyeon as he ran around to the hallway.  
  
Hongbin heard the swing of the door.  
  
“Mister Kim Wonshik, is it? Nice to meet yo---“  
  
There was a soft noise that somehow sounded horrific, a stagger of footsteps. A foreign surge of confusion, despair, and shock shot through Hongbin’s veins. He clambered up, the meringue tossed to the side, yellow smeared against the carpet.  
  
Hongbin rounded the corner, followed by Sanghyuk, to see that Hakyeon had fainted, and Taekwoon had barely caught him. Sanghyuk was quick to support Hakyeon, picking him up  to his feet. At the door was a tall, lean man, whose hands were raised defensively, eyes wide in bewilderment.  
  
Taekwoon’s face was pale, staring at Wonshik like he had seen a ghost. Making sure Sanghyuk had a good hold on Hakyeon, he let Hakyeon go to take the door knob, making his way to close it.  
  
“I’m sorry, I don’t think we can let you—“  
  
“No,” Hakyeon’s voice was weak, shaky. He'd come back to, and everyone turned to look at him. His eyes stared up at the stranger at the door, slumped in Sanghyuk’s grip, an arm around his shoulders. “Let him in, he has just a right to have an interview as anyone else.”  
  
“Hakyeon—“ Taekwoon’s voice pitched high, exasperated, gesturing to an extremely confused Kim Wonshik. Hakyeon shot him a glare through heavy-eye lids, beads of sweat against his temples. Taekwoon made a small groan of contempt.  
  
“C-Can anyone tell me what’s going on?” Wonshik asked softly, his voice rumbling deep.  
  
Hongbin swallowed, and Taekwoon’s eyes flickered to him apologetically before he turned back to Wonshik. He sighed, and it seemed to shake his whole body.  
  
“You have a striking resemblance to someone,” Taekwoon murmured, gazing down and away. Hongbin and Sanghyuk looked at each other in realization. “Someone we have not seen in a long time.”  
  
“Ah,” was all Wonshik said; understandably taken aback. His face molded into something more empathetic. His hands slowly lowered. “Is it better that I leave, in that case?”  
  
There was a small silence, and Hakyeon was staring fixatedly at the ground, unblinking as if it would prevent the tears from escaping his waterlines.  
  
Taekwoon’s jaw clenched, and it was obvious he was reluctant. “No,” he finally murmured, hand slipping off the doorknob. “No, Hakyeon’s right. You have a right to have an interview as anyone else. Come in.”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have been waiting for so loooong to introduce the 6th pack member, i hope you guys are okay with who it is! honestly it was probably predictable right?? regardless, i hope you enjoyed the chapter!!! thanks for reading as always!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not him,” Taekwoon murmured softly. Sanghyuk spun around to glare at him, though was only met with an emotionless stare. He looked back over to Hakyeon. “As much as I wish it were, it isn’t him.”

Wonshik sat in the position he was told to sit at. It was in front of the coffee table, a large sofa and a recliner, and there seemed to be smeared lemon meringue on the floor. He watched rather curiously as one of the pack members was scrubbing it out of the carpet. The others had gone somewhere, the one that had fainted hadn’t seemed to cope well with Wonshik’s face, and the broody Alpha had taken him upstairs for a moment before telling him wear to sit.  
  
“So, uh,” Wonshik cleared his throat, “is this a common occurrence?”  
  
“No,” the man mumbled, spraying the carpet with something before scrubbing it. “Usually it isn’t lemon meringue.”  
  
Wonshik frowned, sighing, “no, I meant,” he gestured the upstairs, where the fainted man was probably trying to be coerced, “you know, that.”  
  
“Oh, Hakyeon fainting?” Wonshik watched as the other man blinked and contemplated his answer. He shook his head. “No, not really, with trauma… he doesn’t usually respond by fainting.”  
  
Wonshik looked at the coffee table. “Trauma?” The brooding alpha had told him he looked like someone they knew, and he scratched the back of his head. He certainly hadn’t expected this.  
  
The man nodded, humming as he inspected the mark on the carpet. He sat down, seemingly deciding it would do for now, and regarded him properly. “As I understand it, you look like Hakyeon’s late soulmate.”  
  
Wonshik’s eyes widened at that, and his eyes glanced to the ceiling. “Ah,” he said dumbly, hand slowly lowering to his lap. He supposed that explained a lot then, with that considered, it all made sense. He was surprised that they even let him in. “Have you—met him? The soulmate.”  
  
The man looked saddened for a brief moment, before shaking his head. Someone was coming down the stairs, and Wonshik craned his neck to see. Ah, it was the soft-faced pretty boy, who seemed to always look mildly startled. He walked into the room, acknowledging Wonshik carefully.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he murmured quietly. Wonshik was surprised how deep his voice was, and his aura put him off. He hadn’t experienced anything quite like it, but then again, Wonshik’s own magic was barely there, so he could hardly feel magical influences unless they were strong. “I understand this probably wasn’t the welcome you were expecting. My name is Hongbin.”  
  
Hongbin knelt down and held out a hand, and Wonshik’s larger hand took it, shaking firmly. Hongbin seemed happy with that. “Wonshik,” he replied, staring at Hongbin’s face. There was something truly off. “I’m sorry if this is too forward of me, but what caste are you?”  
  
Hongbin’s eyes widened at that. “I’m a be—“ He glanced at the other man, who was staring at the lemon meringues, mind elsewhere. Hongbin sighed. “I’m an omega.”  
  
Wonshik could usually at least tell what wolf caste they were, and he frowned. He should have been able to tell at least that. He usually could. His frown must have intrigued Hongbin, for he sat down.  
  
“Why? Can’t you tell?”  
  
“Well, I…” Wonshik’s voice trailed off. “No, no, I couldn’t. You’re a bit of a mix of everything, and you have a weird aura—“  
  
“Have you ever met anyone in a soulbond?”  
  
The interruption made Wonshik halt his words, and consider. His eyes gazed off into a tangent before he looked back to Hongbin. “No, I, suppose I haven’t.”  
  
Hongbin’s face softened. He was indeed quite pretty, how his dimples pressed into his cheeks. “I am soulbonded to the alpha that was about to close the door on you.”  
  
Wonshik laughed, a bit to loud as always, “the broody one?”  
  
Hongbin looked ardently fond, long eyelashes slanted to the rug between him. Wonshik didn’t have to know much about soulbonds to know that Hongbin was in love with his mate. “Yes,” he murmured under his breath. “The broody one.”  
  
Wonshik hummed, looking back at the man whose gaze pulled away from his beloved meringues and back towards him. Wonshik cleared his throat, “um, I don’t know your name.”  
  
The man’s eyes lit up, and it was pretty in the way he sat up, his full lips smiling. “Ah! I’m Jaehwan. I’m the only godforsaken beta in this place.”  
  
Hongbin snorted under his breath, and Wonshik was about to reply before there were people coming down the stairs again.  


* * *

 

  
Taekwoon had hastily told Wonshik to go sit on the cushion placed for him on the rug, before following Hakyeon. He escorted Hakyeon to his room, whose face was pale and damp with a cold sweat. He felt Sanghyuk’s presence slip into the room after him, and went straight to Hakyeon, bringing him into a hug.  
  
Hakyeon’s face crumpled into Sanghyuk’s shoulder, a small sob escaping him. Taekwoon wordlessly sat down onto Hakyeon’s desk chair, threading his own fingers together. Both of the alphas waited as Hakyeon’s body wracked with emotion that neither of them would ever be able to truly comprehend. After a couple of minutes, Hakyeon’s breath was less wheezing and more shuddering, unwinding himself from Sanghyuk. His shaking body half-collapsed onto the edge of his bed, sitting up and hugging himself.  
  
“God, I thought, I really thought…”  
  
“It’s not him,” Taekwoon murmured softly. Sanghyuk spun around to glare at him, though was only met with an emotionless stare. He looked back over to Hakyeon. “As much as I wish it were, it isn’t him.”  
  
Hakyeon’s eyes were wide, swallowing. “I know it isn’t,” his voice broke, and he stared at the ground between them, his small fists curling over his thighs. “When it—it happened, when he died, the pain that wracked through me… was…”  
  
He looked up at Sanghyuk for a moment, as if the thought of baring himself like this to anyone other than Taekwoon was something he had never considered. “Indescribable, it—it was…” Hakyeon swallowed, hard, tears in his eyelashes as he attempted to blink them away. He took a deep breath, “he’s dead, there’s no doubt about it. As much as I… dream of a better outcome every night of my life, he’s dead. He’s gone.”  
  
“He’s a beta,” Taekwoon said softly, and Sanghyuk looked at Taekwoon again, nostrils flaring.  
  
“Hakyeon doesn’t _think_ Wonshik is him—“  
  
“ _Hakyeon_ will try and think of a way if there is any way it could be him, out of wishful thinking,” Taekwoon responded, his words blunt and almost cold. “I know him,” he said almost pointedly.  
  
“Please stop talking like I’m not here,” Hakyeon mumbled, his voice weak and broken. He nestled his fists over his eyes. He curled down into himself, as if to hide from the both of them. His voice sounded like a child, and Sanghyuk immediately sat beside him, wrapping an arm around him. “I am here, I am, and that’s the problem, I—I’m only half here, the other half of me died, and Wonshik looks so much like him and I—“ Taekwoon couldn’t see how Hakyeon’s face contorted in pain, fists shaking against his face. He stood, settling on the other side of Hakyeon, taking the tissue box from Hakyeon’s bedside drawer. “I can’t do this.”  
  
Sanghyuk hushed him under his breath, holding him close, as Taekwoon pressed a gentle, chaste kiss against Hakyeon’s temple. “You aren’t alone, Hakyeon, even if you feel like it sometimes,” he reminded gently. “You will always have a shoulder to cry into.”  
  
“I don’t want to cry anymore,” Hakyeon murmured, his hands slowly lowering. He looked so fragile, so broken, so unlike the fierce and seemingly invincible head Omega that danced and sang old war stories, or danced for the Gods by the bon-fire all those years ago. Taekwoon remembered a younger Hakyeon, hair a mess and eyes of the brightest flame, panting and holding the final pose of his dance in front of a fire that seemed so dim compared to him. He often finished those dances in front of the love of his life. His smile had been so wolfish and ferocious and dazzling when Ravi would be the first to clap and praise him, and sometimes, even join him in the dance. Ravi was never the best dancer, he was full of muscle and brute force where Hakyeon was slender and elegant, but they had seemed to have worked so well when they danced.  
  
Taekwoon remembered the fire that was once in Hakyeon’s heart as he watched Hakyeon now weeping. He remembered how fast the fire was to flicker out.  
  
The door knocked, and Taekwoon lifted his head to see Hongbin with a glass of water. They immediately met eyes, and Hongbin looked saddened  before he knelt before Hakyeon, presenting him the water.  
  
“Have a drink,” Hongbin said softly, and Hakyeon’s tired eyes gazed up. He was slow to take it from Hongbin’s hands, and slower to drink it down. They all waited patiently, wordlessly, knowing that Hakyeon never coped quite as well on his own.  
  
Afterwards, he took a shuddery breath, breathing a small thank you before giving the glass back to Hongbin. Hongbin put it aside, kneeling in front of Hakyeon properly and taking his hands. “You’re family to us, Hakyeon,” he smiled softly, and Hakyeon blinked, doing his best not to cry again. “Things will never be the same, but with us, slowly it might become more bearable. We’ll be here for you during the thick and thin.”  
  
Hakyeon’s face softened. He obviously doubted it would become bearable, but he appreciated the support from everyone. He sighed, dipping his head, his cheeks wet with tears. He took some of the tissues that Taekwoon put on his lap. “Thank you,” he said softly, and he supposed, the support he had were certainly better than nothing.  
  
He knew he wouldn’t be here without Taekwoon, at the very least, and Taekwoon was all he had for two years. Now, it was as if he indeed had a family… who… truly loved something as broken as he felt. Hongbin stood up to kiss Hakyeon’s forehead, and the gesture was surprisingly calming, and Hakyeon felt himself exhale.

  
“I’ll be downstairs, come down when you’re ready,” Hongbin murmured, giving a brief glance to Taekwoon and Sanghyuk before exiting the room.  
  
A silence came down on them, as both the alpha’s eyes slowly lingered on Hakyeon, who sat in thought. He looked at Taekwoon, suddenly, eyes uncertain. “Do you think this is a good idea? Giving Wonshik a chance?”  
  
Taekwoon sighed softly. He lifted his hand to run his hands through Hakyeon’s hair the way he knew Hakyeon liked it. “I am unsure,” he admitted, and Hakyeon looked at Sanghyuk.  
  
Sanghyuk frowned, looking down at Hakyeon’s chest in thought. “I dunno either, but,” he looked at Hakyeon, “you said yourself that everyone deserves a chance. I know it’s going to be hard – I can’t imagine how I’d feel seeing a doppelganger of my mother right now but I… in a way I think this might be fate. Maybe Wonshik has been sent to you to recover.”  
  
“My fate seems very cruel,” Hakyeon laughed, bitter. There was a defeated slump of his shoulders, as he looked away. “But I suppose I—I can’t feel much worse, can I?” He asked, his voice pitching with helplessness. He sighed, standing up, both Alphas immediately lurching to support him if he needed it.  
  
“Everyone deserves happiness,” Hakyeon murmured softly, walking towards the door, “as corny as it sounds, everyone needs a place to belong. For Wonshik, that might be with us. I don’t think we should deny him.”  
  
Taekwoon was the first to stand, murmuring a small voice of agreement. He rubbed Hakyeon’s back. “Then we shall interview him,” Taekwoon said gently.

 

Hakyeon turned around and looked up, his face softening. “Yes, we shall.”  
  
  


* * *

  
  


As Hakyeon settled at his position at the front of the coffee table, picking up his forms, Taekwoon sat beside him, making himself comfortable. Taekwoon was rather displeased to see that the meringues where gone. He didn’t really get to eat his. Jaehwan must have put them away. He looked at Hakyeon, who was obviously collecting himself emotionally, and so Taekwoon took the time to look at Wonshik.  
  
Obviously, Wonshik wasn’t Ravi, nor was he an identical copy. Ravi was much bulkier, his skin was tan and weathered from the wild. While Wonshik’s skin was tan as well, it was obvious he was a city boy who spent his days inside. He was also leaner, his face slightly longer, his aura much different. He was quite well groomed, too, the sides of his head shaved, silver hair draping over one of his eyebrows. He looked, overall, quite wealthy, and as if he’d never taken a step inside any forest at all. He was very clean, succinctly dressed, whereas Ravi was much more laid-back, exuding effortless authority and rarely wore a shirt. Taekwoon wondered to himself why someone like Wonshik would want a pack. There was hardly any magic coming from him, so it wasn’t like it was on the basis of a spiritual instinct.  
  
“So, Kim Wonshik,” Hakyeon began with a tight-lipped, but polite smile, looking up at him. “My name is Hakyeon, and this is Taekwoon, Hongbin, Sanghyuk and Jaehwan. As you can see, we have a soul-bonded pair. There are currently two alphas, two omegas and one beta. We will be asking you some questions, so please answer them to the best of your ability.”  
  
Wonshik quietly regarded everyone, small mouth pursing in thought. Then, he nodded, looking back to Hakyeon. It was almost child-like in his innocence, and Taekwoon felt Hongbin’s magic jitter from behind him. Not out of annoyance this time, but amusement.  
  
“Are you acquainted with any of us already?” Hakyeon asked, pen to his form.  
  
Wonshik shook his head, “no.”  
  
“Are you able to move within three months, and live in a communal household?”  
  
Wonshik nodded, thinking before he spoke. “Yes, my lease expires soon, and I was hoping to… change my life, somehow. It’s become very mundane.”  
  
“Where do you live?” Piped Jaehwan.  
  
“Jaehwan,” Hakyeon chided, “that isn’t part of the question sheet—“  
  
Wonshik gave a small laugh in amusement, shaking his hand, telling them he doesn’t mind. “I live in the Northern district.”  
  
“So you’re wealthy,” Sanghyuk deducted aloud. Wonshik rubbed the back of his head, obviously a bit flustered.  
  
“Well, yes, I suppose you could say that. I work for a bank, and live by myself. My life is… getting boring, I suppose you could say. I want to change something, before I get too stuck.”  
  
“So you thought a pack?” Hakyeon asked purely out of curiosity, ignoring his own form.  
  
Wonshik smiled a little. “I have no magic inclination, but I like the idea of living with people. Have a family. I saw your advertisement and just thought… why not?” He shrugged.  
  
Taekwoon and Hakyeon glanced at each other. They all seemed satisfied by Wonshik’s answer, and so Wonshik visibly calmed some.  
  
“How old are you?” Hakyeon asked quietly.  
  
“Twenty-five,” Wonshik asked.  
  
Hakyeon nodded, “caste?”  
  
Wonshik blinked slowly, “beta.”  
  
“Thank _God_ ,” Jaehwan moaned under his breath, Sanghyuk couldn’t help but to giggle.  
  
Hakyeon rolled his eyes, though was smiling a bit himself. “Do you know much about pack rituals? The culture?”  
  
Wonshik pursed his lips. “Admittedly, no.” He looked down briefly, almost apologetically, his voice deep and sincere, “but, I am willing to learn, and—become apart of the family.”  
  
“You call it a family, not a pack,” Taekwoon spoke up this time, his voice quiet and direct. Wonshik turned his head to look at him.  
  
“I-Isn’t it the same thing?”  
  
Taekwoon frowned, giving a small sigh. “In a way yes, but in other ways, no. It is unconditional love, I suppose, but… the dynamics are much different. There is no claiming in a family. You do not have a head alpha to take care of you.”  
  
Wonshik looked apologetic, and also a little embarrassed. Taekwoon’s aura had that effect, the effortless authority over people. Wonshik looked hesitant, for a moment, before he asked, “and I suppose, you’re the… head alpha?”  
  
Taekwoon slowly nodded, and Wonshik nodded to himself, before he looked at Hakyeon, “and you’re the… head omega? Head spokesperson?”  
  
Hakyeon gave a little wry smile, “that’s right.”  
  
Wonshik swallowed, eyes wide, looking at them all. “I suppose I have a lot to learn.”  
  
Hakyeon hummed, regarding Wonshik quietly. “So you are okay with it? The idea of being claimed by Taekwoon?”  
  
“Claiming…? On the neck?” Wonshik brushed his fingertips against his own neck, surprised. Hakyeon smiled. Taekwoon did too, only just.  
  
“No, typically the arm.”  
  
“Oh, I was gonna say,” Wonshik mumbled, adjusting himself on his little cushion. “Seems a bit intimate.”  
  
“Ah, that’s right,” Hakyeon added, turning the page of his forms. “Relationship status?”  
  
“Single,” Wonshik replied easily.  
  
“Have you had a mate before?”  
  
Wonshik nodded, “a few.”  
  
“Are you looking for a mate?”  
  
Wonshik frowned. “Not actively, I’m more of a go-with-the-flow type. My job keeps me busy.”  
  
“So what makes you think you’ll have time for a pack?” Jaehwan blurted again, and Hakyeon karate-chopped his leg lightly. Jaehwan hissed but didn’t relent.  
  
Wonshik smiled, his face softening. “I’ll make time. I have nights off, weekends off.”  
  
“Dinner time is especially important to us,” Hakyeon says quietly, “we wish everyone be home for dinner every night, obviously there will be exceptions, but we want to make it an important occasion.”  
  
Wonshik tilts his head. “Can I ask a question?”  
  
Hakyeon blinked, taken aback, though slowly settled against the front of the couch. He lowered his pen. “You may.”  
  
“Why did you faint… when you saw me?”  
  
Jaehwan lurched, his voice pitching high. “I already _told_ you—“  
  
Wonshik glanced at Jaehwan apologetically. “I know you did, but I… I want to hear it from Hakyeon. You all sound—“ and Wonshik smiled fondly, “sound like a… a great thing to be a part of, and I want to be a part of your pack, but…” Wonshik’s eyes lowered to Hakyeon, who was staring at the coffee table. “I don’t want to be here if it hurts you.”  
  
Hakyeon frowned deeply, and a silence settles between them all.  
  
“You look like my soul-mate, Ravi,” and Wonshik noticed there was a strange, silky elegance in the way that Hakyeon moved. “Your auras are very different, but your appearance… your voice are… very similar. My soul-mate is dead,” and Hakyeon said it as if on auto-pilot. It was as if he had said it over-and-over to himself, his only line from a script he had to practice.  
  
Hakyeon’s eyes unfocused for a moment, before he shook himself. “However, that is my problem. Wonshik, you are keen to be a part of the pack, you want to learn, you don’t mind being claimed, or moving in… I must discuss it with the others first, but I think you will be good for us. As for me, it is my problem to get over, not yours.”  
  
Wonshik was silent, as if mulling it over.  
  
“Do you have any other questions?” Hakyeon asked, his voice steady. There was no denying the quivering of his fingers around the pen.  
  
“Oh—yeah. I… are any of you from the wild? Am I expected to be able to Shift? Because there’s no way I ever could—“  
  
Hakyeon smiled, now, and Wonshik couldn’t help but to stare at him. Hakyeon’s smile was _dazzling,_ and Wonshik could see how Hakyeon shone, as if there were a sun or a fire inside of him. He swallowed and forced himself to look at someone else.  
  
“Taekwoon and I are from the wild, and yes, we’re both Shifters,” Hakyeon nods, gesturing Taekwoon. “But no, you’re not expected to be able to Shift. No one else is able to, and Jaehwan has about the same magic as you.”  
  
“Man, you must have _nothing,_ ” Wonshik laughed, a little too loud, and Jaehwan huffed.  
  
“That’s fine by me! I don’t go all crazy wolf on anyone!” Jaehwan whined, settling when he realized who was in the room. Jaehwan blinked. “No… no offense, Sanghyuk.”  
  
Sanghyuk just smiled innocently, “none taken.”  
  
Jaehwan pursed his lips. “No offense, Taekwoon.”  
  
Taekwoon growled under his breath. Hongbin pet his hair soothingly. To all of their surprise, Wonshik laughed, covering his mouth as he did so. They all settled, seemingly pleased with the interview. Wonshik did too, for his eyes were sparkling, his back upright.  
  
“Well,” Hakyeon began quietly. “I think we will certainly be in contact. Once we all talk and if we agree with you, I will call you. If you’d like, you can live with us for a week or so, a trial of sorts. Does that sound alright?”  
  
Wonshik smiled, though he silently wondered if it was more-so for Hakyeon’s benefit than his own. Even so, it was a good idea. “Sounds good.”  
  
“Good,” and then Hakyeon rose to stand. He really was graceful in his movements, and Wonshik stood up as well, not nearly so smooth and silky. He was a good few centimeters taller, though really, all of the pack members were quite tall. Even Hongbin was six foot, or very close to.  
  
“It was a pleasure meeting you,” Hakyeon said warmly, and they shook hands. Wonshik wondered if it truly was, for Hakyeon, but he seemed sincere. Up close, Hakyeon was even more beautiful, but looking at how the tallest boy frowned at him, he wondered if Hakyeon had already been claimed.  
  
Not that he wanted Hakyeon. That’d most likely be a terrible idea. Very terrible. Awful. Wonshik swallowed, and smiled nervously back. As much as… this man had fainted at the sight of him, and all the kerfuffle earlier, and the way one of the Alphas squinted at him… he really… wouldn’t mind living here.  
  
“I hope you’ll consider me.” Wonshik said softly, and Hakyeon hummed, nodding in promise.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
_  
_ “Well, that was…” Hakyeon breathed shakily once Wonshik had left.  
  
“Successful? He didn’t seem to care about the head omega, nor about being claimed,” Hongbin added, hugging Taekwoon’s arm as if Hongbin hadn’t seen him for a week. The magic must be getting needy; Hakyeon squinted at the thought. It seemed uncharacteristic for Hongbin to _cling_ to Taekwoon like that. It must be… he shook himself and got to the matter at hand.  
  
“No, he didn’t. He seems very sweet.” Hakyeon admitted, frowning deeply. It was almost a shame. Perhaps it would have been easier if Wonshik hadn’t been sweet; had been awful and shown the door. Hakyeon wouldn’t have to see his face again. He sighed heavily. Taekwoon surprised him by ruffling his hair, and Hakyeon looked up, offering a weak smile.  
  
“We can talk about it later,” Taekwoon said softly, looking down at Hongbin. They both linked eyes for a moment, and the gaze was so indescribably fond that Hakyeon had to look away.  


 

 

~~  
  
  
  
“Hongbin…” After dinner, Hakyeon knocks on Taekwoon’s door. Well, technically now it was both Taekwoon and Hongbin’s, but he supposed it wouldn’t officially be their room until Hongbin eventually moves out of his apartment. He heard Hongbin’s voice give him permission to open the door, and quickly slipped inside. His back against the door as it clicked shut, he looked over at Hongbin. Hongbin had changed into his pajamas and sat up, slowly putting his book down. Hakyeon offered a small smile. He was glad that Taekwoon wasn’t here; it would be frustrating to shoo him away.  
  
“Hakyeon?” Hongbin asked quietly, as Hakyeon slowly locked the door. Hongbin frowned as Hakyeon met eyes with him again, and Hakyeon’s face softened.  
  
“I don’t want to be disturbed,” Hakyeon explained quietly, and Hongbin stared up at him.  
  
“What’s this about?” Hongbin asked, keeping his voice low. Hakyeon moved from the door, and it was obvious how Hakyeon stared at Hongbin’s face for a moment that he was hesitating.  
  
“Hongbin…” His voice trailed off. He tilted his head, his voice serious. “When is your heat?”  
  
"I—" Hongbin’s face shows surprise, though molds into guilt. He swallows as he looks away. "Next week."

 

"And you haven't told Taekwoon yet, have you?" Hakyeon asks quietly, slowly seating himself next to him.

 

Hongbin looks down to his lap, turning himself so his legs dangle off the bed. He fidgeted with his hands. "No… but… he can probably sense it."

 

Hakyeon nods, his voice gentle. "If I can, he can."

 

Hongbin glows red, stuffing his hands between his thighs. He hung his head, avoiding Hakyeon’s gaze.

 

"You're nervous," Hakyeon murmured.

 

"O-of course I'm nervous," Hongbin replied, voice pitching. He looked up at Hakyeon before he stared back at his hands.

 

Hakyeon simply nods, watching how Hongbin’s hands trembled between his thighs. There a was a moment of silence, then, "you haven't mated yet, have you?"

 

If possible, Hongbin glows even harder, and he stares down. "N-no…"

  
Hakyeon hums. So, Hongbin was most likely virginal and was nervous about mating. No wonder he was so anxious about his heat. He didn’t think it was right to remain silent about the fact, though. First heats with a mate could be scary, but they were much better with proper communication.  
  
There was a lull in conversation as Hakyeon became lost in thought.  


"… Can I ask you … about your … Soulbond?" Hongbin asks hesitantly.

 

Hakyeon blinks, looking over in mild surprise. His smile is tender; he curls his hand around Hongbin's wrist. “You can ask me anything."

 

Hongbin relaxed somewhat, though he was still so tense. Hakyeon rubbed Hongbin’s wrist gently, wishing to soothe him. "When did you and Ravi first mate?"

 

Hakyeon looks away briefly. At first Hongbin thinks that he has upset Hakyeon, though Hakyeon reveals he was simply finding the words. "Truthfully, once we met, I jumped straight into his arms and kissed him," Hakyeon smiled, and it was real and genuine, though there was still that sadness in his eyes. Hongbin couldn’t look away for him; Hakyeon was truly beautiful. Hakyeon allowed himself breathe, attempting to put his retrospect into words. "I do not think we let go of each other for a long time afterwards, and certainly, no one saw us for a few days. So I suppose I can leave you to your own deductions."  
  
Hakyeon looked up, smiling a little slyly. Hongbin flushes red, looking away, "o-oh." He swallows, his eyes darting. He cleared his throat, though his voice still sounded so small. "Does it hurt?"

 

"Mating?" Hakyeon looked so fond, and he was so close to Hongbin. He was as close as to cuddling him without actually doing so. Hongbin finds Hakyeon’s presence calming. It was almost on par with Taekwoon. "Only if it isn't done properly. Taekwoon has had previous mates, and he loves you very much. I don't think you have much to worry about, Hongbin. And even so… if… you have your heat but… do not wish to mate, I will look after you."

 

Hongbin hides his face, impossibly embarrassed. Though this time, Hakyeon hugs him. Hakyeon hugged him a lot tighter than Taekwoon ever did. It almost hurt, but he felt so concurrently safe. He curled into Hakyeon, breathing out deeply. It was like he didn’t have to worry about anything in Hakyeon’s arms. Hakyeon ran his hands down Hongbin’s back, cradling him close. "I'm the head omega," he murmurs softly against his hair, "it's my job to look after you."

  
“I should talk to him,” Hongbin said softly, after a while. “It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just… we haven’t even known each other for that long, and we’re already… thinking about…”  
  
“Hongbin,” Hakyeon interrupted softly. “You aren’t in a normal relationship. I understand that it’s scary, I do, but Taekwoon is undeniably your life partner. Your _soulmate._ You were made for each other.”  
  
“I know, but—“  
  
“You will be able to work something out. That’s the best thing about Soulbonds,” Hakyeon said softly, “together, you can prevail through anything. You just need to talk to him. I remember when you were so scared about meeting him, and while I know it was warranted,” Hakyeon took Hongbin’s hand. It was smaller than his own, and Hakyeon slowly entwined their fingers, “telling him how you feel made it better, right? You have a deep mutual trust, Hongbin, don’t take advantage of that.”  
  
Hongbin slowly unraveled himself from Hakyeon. He looked into his eyes, and Hakyeon leant over, kissing his forehead gently. Hongbin’s eyes widened, and he looked down at Hakyeon’s lap. He supposed Hakyeon was speaking from experience. He wondered if Hakyeon had regrets amongst the _what if’s_ that would likely run through his head every day. That he felt he had taken the soulbond for granted. It was obvious Hakyeon wanted the best for him, perhaps to do what Hakyeon regretted not doing. Not realizing everything wasn’t forever. Hongbin looked up at Hakyeon again, eyes wide and troubled. “I’ll… I’ll talk to him,” he sighed softly. It wasn’t like he could avoid it or ignore it.  
  
Hakyeon raised his hand, cupping Hongbin’s face. Hongbin let himself lean into it. “I am glad you are in my life, Hongbin,” Hakyeon said softly, lowering his hands. Hongbin swallowed, curling his hands into fists. He had always thought his presence was more of a spiritual burden to Hakyeon than anything, so to hear Hakyeon say the opposite… he didn’t know what to say. “Remember that my option is always there, too. If you don’t wish to mate.”  
  
Hongbin nods, and Hakyeon slips off the bed. Hongbin watches Hakyeon walk back to the door, unlocking it. As Hakyeon opened the door, Hongbin lurched, just a little, blurting. “Hakyeon?”  
  
Hakyeon paused, blinking and turning. “Yes?”  
  
“I—“ Hongbin had spoke without thinking. He paled, looking down. Perhaps it wouldn’t be right to ask.  
  
“You can ask me anything, Hongbin.” Hakyeon’s voice was gentle, but he still sounded so sad.  
  
“What was… your bond like? With Ravi?” He knew he had worded it terribly, not sure how to put what he was asking into words. Though, Hakyeon tilted his head in thought, and immediately he knew Hakyeon understood. Hongbin had always underestimated Hakyeon, he was, after all, the person that understood what Hongbin was going through the most.  
  
“Ravi was like the kindling to my fire. He… he let me shine, he always told me how I was like a light in a moonless sky. He let me burn, but he… he always brought me back to my senses when I became out of control,” Hakyeon’s voice cracked, and his hand on the doorknob trembled. Hongbin went to stand, though Hakyeon shook his head. It took time, but he calmed himself. “I was—quite reckless and wild, when I was younger. Ravi was wild too but… he was more rational. He always thought ahead while I jumped in without a thought. He was my kindling, and I feel like I can’t… shine without him.”  
  
Hongbin didn’t know what to say. He wishes he could have known Hakyeon before Ravi’s death. He wished Ravi was still alive, so he could see Hakyeon smile and laugh without any restrain. The thought made his heart hurt. Though, Hakyeon spoke up, and Hongbin was shaken out of his train of thought.  
  
“How about you?”  
  
“What?” Hongbin replied dumbly.  
  
Hakyeon’s face softened, closing the door again. “What is your bond like?”  
  
Hongbin frowned, sitting up a bit as he considered. “Taekwoon is… like a raging sea, and I’m like… the cliff face he’s crashing against. Though, our roles swap. Sometimes I’m the sea, turbulent and unstable, and--- and Taekwoon’s just…” Hongbin’s face softens, and he sighs softly, “he’s simply _there._ Sturdy and rational and dependable. He pulls me back into reality when I … over-react, or become upset. It feels like he’ll always be there, and I’ll always be there for him, no matter how bad the storm is. He’s so strong, but so vulnerable at the same time, but no matter what I’ll... be there. I—I don’t know if it’s a good analogy. I’m not really good at them, but, that’s what it feels like.”  
  
Hakyeon nods, “you truly understand him.”  
  
Hongbin looks up at Hakyeon. “I love him, Hakyeon.”  
  
“I know,” Hakyeon murmurs. He smiles gently, the expression so bittersweet.

 

“I hope…” Hongbin looks down at the ground between them. “I hope our pack can be a new kindling. It might not be as nice as the kindling you had before, but … I’d really love to see that fire one day.”  
  
Hakyeon’s eyes swam with tears, and he smiled. It ached. “Me too, Hongbin,” he took a deep breath, shuddering with it. “Goodnight, Hongbin. Sleep well.”  
  
“Night, Hakyeon,” Hongbin said softly, as Hakyeon clicked the door shut behind him.  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

“Do you smoke?” Sanghyuk blurted, picking up the ashtray on the small table between them. Taekwoon flinched. He hadn’t seen Sanghyuk come out onto the balcony. “Can’t believe Hongbin would kiss someone with a mouth full of ash.”  
  
Taekwoon looked very unimpressed. “No,” he replied sourly. He reclined back into his seat. He hadn’t removed the fairy-lights looped around the fencing of the balcony. Hakyeon liked it and didn’t want to take it down. “Hakyeon does, though. When he’s stressed.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s nose pinched in distaste. He supposed Hakyeon would smoke often then. He placed the ashtray back on the table, looking idly at the view. It really wasn’t much, just general suburbia. They were out of the city far enough that there were a few stars in the sky. A wind swept through them both, and they shivered. “It’s cold,” Sanghyuk whined.  
  
Taekwoon, however, had a little blanket, and looked very content to be sitting on his little outdoor recliner. His nose was red from the cold, and Sanghyuk’s face softened at the sight. To Sanghyuk’s surprise, Taekwoon patted the recliner next to him.  
  
“You want me to sit with you?” Sanghyuk blurted.  
  
“You’re obviously here to talk to me,” Taekwoon said, eyes raising to meet with Sanghyuk’s. Sanghyuk’s wolf trembled at Taekwoon’s aura. It was intimidating how much power that Taekwoon had in his stare alone. He wondered what Taekwoon was like when he truly wished to intimidate someone. “You might as well be warm as you do.”  
  
Sanghyuk shrugged. Taekwoon had a fair point. He rounded the table, collapsing into the recliner. He took out the blanket from under him, draping it over his shoulder. He put the quilt to his nose. “It’s Hakyeon’s.”  
  
Taekwoon hummed under his breath.  
  
Sanghyuk brought his legs up so he was fetal position on the recliner. He was likely much too big to do something like this. He stared over at Taekwoon, watching how Taekwoon slid his eyes shut. It was obvious he was waiting for Sanghyuk to say something. Sanghyuk sighed, and looked away. Taekwoon was his alpha, and was the only immediate alpha in his life. He was sure, especially after their talk last night, that Taekwoon was open to give him advice. To guide him, and be there for him. He knew that Taekwoon wanted to be the best alpha that he wanted to be. How happy Hongbin was was a perfect example of that.  
  
It was just the admitting that he needed help, and why he needed help, was the hardest part. He inhaled deeply. “I’m having trouble with my wolf.”  
  
Taekwoon stirred, blinking wearily. _Jeez, had Taekwoon almost fallen asleep? What a grandpa._ “Trouble?” Taekwoon mumbled, head turning to look over to him.  
  
“Well I—yeah, like always, but there’s a particular area I’m struggling the most in, and it’s… a worry because it affects other people.” Sanghyuk licks his lips nervously. His eyes were darting, looking down at the space between them. Taekwoon raised his hand, tilting Sanghyuk’s chin up to him.  
  
“Tell me what is troubling you,” Taekwoon said softly. He lowered his hand, blinking slowly. Sanghyuk relaxed somewhat.  
  
“I—well, I…” He scrunched up his face. _Just say it, Sanghyuk,_ he cursed to himself. He looked up at Taekwoon, eyes widening. He grabbed Taekwoon’s receding wrist, holding it in place. “You gotta promise me you won’t tell a soul. Promise me. You gotta promise me.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled a little. “Unless it has to do with Hongbin, I promise.”  
  
Sanghyuk exhaled. “Good, because it doesn’t. Well, the thing is, I really, really like Hakyeon.”  
  
Sanghyuk stared at Taekwoon pointedly, gauging for a reaction, but he got none.  
  
After some silence, Taekwoon blinked. “What about it?”  
  
“No, I mean,” Sanghyuk spluttered, sitting up a bit. “I like him. Really like him. I have a crush on him.”  
  
Taekwoon blinked slowly. “I am aware.”  
  
Sanghyuk made a pitiful little noise, whining like a child. He dropped Taekwoon’s hand, squirming in his seat out of embarrassment.  
  
“You knew? Wha—what, did Hakyeon tell you?”  
  
“It is hard to miss your magic flaring up every time Hakyeon gets close to someone else.” Taekwoon explained softly. “If this is about Hakyeon, then I am assuming that you wish to control your magic better?”  
  
Sanghyuk nodded. “Please, I know it—if you know, then Hakyeon probably definitely knows. And—And I know me… me liking him, would probably burden him, or something, and I don’t want that. Even though I… I really want him… I really care for him, too…” Sanghyuk sighed, looking down at Taekwoon’s blanket. “I don’t want to cause him grief. I know he might… never recover from Ravi. So I want to at least be able to control my magic better. It’s getting harder and harder to control. Especially if Wonshik is—is going to be part of our pack… I’m worried. The wolf might come out soon and I… don’t want that.”  
  
Taekwoon stared at him, mulling over the situation. “You are also denying your wolf,” he began, but Sanghyuk interrupted.  
  
“Of course I am! Its becoming so possessive—“  
  
“No, listen to me, Sanghyuk,” and Sanghyuk’s jaw shut with an audible snap. Taekwoon sighed. “It isn’t good to deny your wolf of everything. It’s like bottling up your emotions. One day it will all come out, pent up and uncontrollable. You need to let it go, bit by bit, let some of the steam out.”  
  
“Are you saying… I should pursue him?” Sanghyuk frowned, incredulous.  
  
“No,” Taekwoon replied softly. “No, I am offering to teach you how to Shift.”  
  
“Oh…” Sanghyuk’s shoulders slumped. He looked apprehensive, but his hands were fidgeting with excitement. “You think that would work? Shifting?”  
  
Taekwoon nodded. “You are trying to smuggle your wolf down and out of sight. Denying your own magic and spirit. It means you can’t understand your wolf, let alone control it. Shifters are naturally more in control of their wolves because they spend time within them. Your wolf is a part of you, but it also a separate entity at the same time. You need to understand it and come to peace with it.”  
  
“Magic is complicated,” Sanghyuk grumbled, a hand over his heart. “Do you think that’s—maybe that’s why you’re having so much trouble with your own alpha? Because it’s been a while since you Shifted?”  
  
Taekwoon blinked. He hadn’t considered the idea. For someone who spent a lot of his time in his wolf form growing up, to barely Shifting throughout two years of living in the city, he supposed it’d take a toll on him. “Perhaps,” he replied, looking up at Sanghyuk. “I guess it would be good for the both of us.”  
  
Sanghyuk sat up more, his eyes sparkling. “So you reckon I could do it? Shift? Howl at the moon?”  
  
Taekwoon nudged Sanghyuk’s face away playfully. They both laughed. Taekwoon’s cheeks were pink now, smiling properly. “Yes, I do. I’ve seen people Shift with much less magic than you. I think you’d be able to do it quite easily.”  
  
Sanghyuk seemed very satisfied at the thought. He slumped back into his seat, stars in his eyes. Wistful. “When do you think we could start?”  
  
Taekwoon frowned, and remained quiet for a moment. “Give me two weeks,” he said softly.  
  
“Two weeks?” Sanghyuk whined. “Why?”  
  
Taekwoon closed his eyes briefly, as if he had a migraine. H _ongbin._ He thought to himself. He was worried about Hongbin. He could feel Hongbin was currently emotionally distressed, and went to sit up. He knew his heat was coming soon, could smell it off him, and the scent made him tremble. He knew no other omega’s heats would ever be able to compare to his. He didn’t know when _exactly_ Hongbin’s heat was, so he gave Sanghyuk a longer time frame than he thought. “Hongbin and I have plans,” he said simply. “Plus, I need to sell my car, and Wonshik also… is most likely going to visit for a week.”  
  
“Sell your car? Plans?” Sanghyuk blurted, standing up. He waved his hand dismissively. “Doesn’t matter about Wonshik, he can come to the wild with us if anything. Field trip.”  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes widened. That wasn’t a bad idea. Wonshik didn’t know much about pack dynamics; perhaps a field trip would be good for them. Taekwoon’s face softened, ruffling Sanghyuk’s hair affectionately. He was a strong kid. He’d just lost his mother, and yet he was so naturally thinking of other’s well-being. He wondered if he was alright, and it took everything for Taekwoon to delay seeing Hongbin when he was feeling down, but Sanghyuk also needed him. “Sanghyuk,” he said softly, caressing his cheek affectionately, “please know I’ll be always here to guide you. Not just for alpha things, but if… you ever need a shoulder to cry on. I am sure Hongbin feels the same way.”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked, confused for a moment. His eyes watered, and he swallowed. “O-Oh,” he nodded. “I’ll keep it in mind, thank you, Taekwoon.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, lowering his hand and turning away. “As for selling the car,” it felt very bittersweet to Taekwoon. The car had been with him for a long time, but it was time to move on. It was a new chapter of their lives. “My car fits five, but our pack will be six. How will we go on a field trip?”  
  
Sanghyuk smiled, and Taekwoon returned it before slipping back into the warmth of the house.  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon slipped into his room without knocking. Hongbin had already tucked himself into bed, reading one of Taekwoon’s worn paperbacks. Hongbin lowered the book to look up at him, and Hongbin must have seen the concern on his face, for he sat up. Taekwoon strode the length of the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, his own face inches away from Hongbin’s. “I—I felt your distress earlier, but I had to talk to Sanghyuk—“ Taekwoon immediately felt so calm, looking into Hongbin’s eyes. He was home. Home was where Hongbin was. His voice was quieter, raising his hand to cup Hongbin’s cheek. “Are you alright?”  
  
Hongbin leant into Taekwoon’s palm, kissing it gently. “Yeah,” Hongbin softly. “I was just talking to Hakyeon about something.”  
  
Taekwoon blinked in realization. “Ah,” there was a small silence, and Taekwoon lowered his hand. He took Hongbin’s hand instead, entwining their fingers. Together. They were together. The magic jittered happily between them, and they both sighed softly in unison. It felt so good to be with each other. “About your heat?”  
  
Hongbin physically jerked, though Taekwoon kept his hand firm against Hongbin’s. He would be the cliff this time, against the turbulent sea. He felt Hongbin’s anxiety spike. “Hakyeon told me you’d… know.” Hongbin said softly, a whisper.  
  
Taekwoon nodded, leaning in; he cupped Hongbin’s neck this time. He kissed between Hongbin’s brows, tilting his head down to look into Hongbin’s eyes. Hongbin wouldn’t look at him, so Taekwoon kissed his nose, his mouth. “Hongbin, look at me.”  
  
Hongbin blinked up at him, and Taekwoon hated how hesitant he looked. It was as if Hongbin had forgotten about the trust they’d built up together. Taekwoon looked saddened, running his hand through Hongbin’s hair. “I’d never hurt you,” he began softly. “I’d never do anything against your will. I will be there for you, I’ll help you through it. We’ll get through it together.”  
  
“I don’t know if I want to—to mate—“ Hongbin grimaced, looking down at again. He raised his shoulders, making himself look so small. Taekwoon hated it. He loved when Hongbin held his head up high, stood with confidence, had eyes of stark clarity. He loved that about him.  
  
“That’s fine, Binnie,” Taekwoon said softly, still running his hand through his hair. “That’s more than fine. We can mate any time, it doesn’t have to be through your heat,” Taekwoon looked away, for a moment, “if it makes you feel better, I’m sure—Hakyeon would help you through it instead of me.”  
  
Hongbin nodded, “he offered.”  
  
Taekwoon tilted his head, attempting to look into his eyes. “You have options, Binnie.”  
  
Hongbin shuddered, looking up at Taekwoon with tears in his eyes. “I—I know, I’m sorry, I trust you, Taekwoon, I do, I’m just… scared, I’ve never… and it’s happening so quickly…”  
  
Taekwoon brought him close, pulling Hongbin onto his lap. Hongbin was pliant, letting himself sink into Taekwoon’s arms. He wrapped his arms around Taekwoon’s neck, dipping his head down and let himself cry quietly into Taekwoon’s shoulder. Taekwoon kissed his neck gently, near the claim mark.  
  
Taekwoon’s hands slowly ran up and down Hongbin’s back, down his thighs. He felt Hongbin unwind against him, exhaling slowly. “We don’t have to make any decisions now,” Taekwoon spoke against his shoulder. He slowly lay them both down against the duvet. Hongbin clung to him, and Taekwoon could smell the traces of a heat beginning to develop.

  
 He laughed as Hongbin refused to let him go, even as he tried to pull away to grab the blanket from under them.  
  
“Hongbin, I have to—“ his eyes twinkled, squirming his torso as Hongbin ducked his head down, nibbling at his claim mark. He laughed, curling into Hongbin again, nuzzling Hongbin’s face with his nose. Hongbin huffed, pushing him away and kicking the blankets off underneath him. Taekwoon couldn’t stop laughing as he turned off the bed-side lamp. He took the blankets Hongbin kicked off and draped it over them. Hongbin was smiling by now too, and as Taekwoon wrapped an arm around Hongbin, he pressed his forehead against Hongbin’s temple. They felt calm wash over them.  
  
“I love you,” Hongbin said softly after a while. Taekwoon stirred, blinking up from where his head had eventually rested on Hongbin’s shoulder. Hongbin kissed the top of his head affectionately.  
  
“Love you too,” Taekwoon slurred, yawning sleepily. He moved in closer, his head over Hongbin’s heart, arm curled into his side. “Goodnight, my darling,” Taekwoon murmured into Hongbin’s chest. The magic was so happy, so sweet. Taekwoon couldn’t think of anywhere he’d rather be.  
  
“Sleep well,” Hongbin whispered.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there is anything you'd like to know about the fic, whether it be about the characters or the universe it is set in, send me a question on my [ask.fm](http://ask.fm/xfaunalyn)
> 
> as always, thank you so much for reading!!! all your comments warm my heart ;u;


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “His eyes are so alike, Taekwoon, it’s like looking into them again. It’s—it’s not the same, I know, but—after so long I want to take what I can get.”
> 
>  
> 
> heavy emotions/angst in this chapter; mostly Hakyeon. Please be warned!

Hakyeon slumped onto the couch, running a hand through his hair. It was late morning and thankfully, he had no lectures today. He leant back onto the cushions, legs spread. He stared up at the ceiling. His life had become so eventful in such a few weeks, and it was beginning to exhaust him. Not just with his own, personal problems, but with Sanghyuk, with Taekwoon and Hongbin, and… of course, Wonshik. At the thought, he reached for his phone, lifting his legs to cross them on the couch, the material of his tracksuit pants comforting. Everyone had unanimously agreed that they wanted to test Wonshik out, and Hakyeon was planning to send an email later.  
  
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t given Wonshik a social media stalk, though. He was a candidate to live with them, after all. Hakyeon had post-poned the other interviews he’d had lined up. Wonshik really did look like Ravi, and sometimes his photos gave Hakyeon a twisted, sick sense of hope or fulfillment. He saw Ravi in Wonshik, saw Wonshik and thought about it must be what Ravi must have looked like as a businessman. He was handsome. Though it could be Hakyeon’s bias. Ravi, objectively, was a little funny-looking, but he was gorgeous in Hakyeon’s eyes. Hakyeon felt ill thinking about it. He still missed him so much.  
  
He attempted to shake himself. Obviously, on this social media, he and Wonshik weren’t friends, so he could only see what Wonshik was willing to show to the public. It was mostly pictures of himself, in suits for some kind of function, in a hoodie with some sort of bug-eyed Pomeranian. He wondered if it was Wonshik’s dog. He wondered if Wonshik really liked dogs. Or wolves. Hakyeon nibbled on his lip at the thought.  
  
Though then his hand slipped, his thumb pressing the _Friend Request_ button. He dropped the phone, mortified, and scrambled to pick it back up off the ground. He went to unclick it, but found it already had a little tick, announcing they were now friends. Who accepts friend requests so fast? Did Wonshik _live_ on his phone? _I suppose he_ is _a businessman_ , Hakyeon thought bitterly.  
  
Then a message popped up.  
  
_Hey, you’re Hakyeon, right? The one who interviewed me?  
  
_ Fuck. Hakyeon’s hands shook around his phone, clicking for the keyboard but simply staring at it. How was he going to weasel out of this? He took a deep breath, and replied,  
  
_Yes, I am._ _Our pack have all agreed on that you’re a good candidate, so I thought I’d ask if you’re still interested.  
  
_ As soon as Hakyeon sent it, Wonshik was already typing. It made Hakyeon feel more nervous, for some reason. What if Wonshik had gotten cold feet? Preferred the known to the unknown? Then, he got a notification.  
  
_Yeah, I really am. Interested, I mean. Uh. So are we doing a trial of sorts?  
  
Yes. _ Hakyeon answered simply. _About two weeks from now, if that is okay with you, since Hongbin is going through his heat cycle. We also thought it’d be a good idea if we went somewhere special for the trial. Out in the wild, a camping trip of sorts, so you could learn what it means to be in a pack.  
  
_ Wonshik spent a little longer replying this time. _That’s cool. I can take the week off work._ He began, _I love camping. It’d be good for me, too. I haven’t been out in the city for a while, I guess. And you don’t know a person until you live with them, right?  
  
_ Hakyeon found himself smiling _. That’s right._

  
There was a silence in the conversation, but Hakyeon saw the little wait emoji to tell Wonshik he was typing. And then he stopped. And then he started typing again. Until, Wonshik sent,  
  
_Does that mean I won’t get to see you for two weeks?_  
  
Hakyeon swallowed. That sounded vaguely… well it sounded almost like he was pining. Like Wonshik wanted to see him specifically. That was potentially a very bad idea. He blinked, as another message popped up. _Or any of the others?_  
  
Wonshik had obviously taken his silence as reluctance, and Hakyeon supposed he was right. He didn’t want to make any opinion of the idea that Wonshik would be interested in him, even if he didn’t look like Ravi. There was Sanghyuk he had to worry about too. He didn’t really want to break _two_ hearts.  
  
Hakyeon found himself at a loss for words. He had gone from curled over his phone to laying back against the couch, raising his phone to eye level. He sighed, looking up at the ceiling again. He almost cringed as he slowly typed back. _What would you suggest?_  
  
Wonshik was much faster to reply this time. _You want to talk over coffee?  
_

* * *

 

  
Jaehwan was worried about Sanghyuk. He looked over at him from the cash register of his café, miserably swirling his milkshake. A lot of the kittens were asleep in the morning, and Sanghyuk had come with Jaehwan to work. He’d wanted to get out of the house. Jaehwan didn’t blame him. What with the drama, the hormones, and the pain of seeing his mother’s belongings, Jaehwan didn’t blame Sanghyuk for needing a break.  
  
They only had a couple of customers, who already had their drinks, so Jaehwan took the opportunity to slide into Sanghyuk’s booth. Sanghyuk blinked up, his features softening some.  
  
“I’m happy you’re getting out of the house,” Jaehwan began, offering him a cat-shaped cookie. Sanghyuk took it, looking up at Jaehwan and nodding once. Jaehwan smiled again, “but are you going to get in trouble for missing so many classes? Have you worked something out with your lecturers?”  
  
“I’m dropping out,” Sanghyuk said softly, fidgeting with his straw. Jaehwan’s face fell. Sanghyuk sighed, “Or at least, post-poning my course. Taking a gap year, or something. I just… I can’t, right now,” he added. “I’ve post-poned it for now, but if… if in six months or more I still feel like I don’t have the motivation to do it, I’ll just drop it.”  
  
“What were you doing?” Jaehwan asked curiously. Sanghyuk gathered himself, though his eyes looked sullen.  
  
“Archaeology. Latin sounded interesting, so I took it as an elective. Hongbin is doing an ancient history degree though, whereas… digging up stuff is more interesting to me,” Sanghyuk made a little smile. Jaehwan sat back a little. So Sanghyuk did have a passion for it, even if it might be small at the moment. He wondered what he could do, to make him feel better. Sanghyuk was a part of their pack now, and in many ways, it meant Sanghyuk was now Jaehwan’s brother.  
  
“You’re… working at that corner store, aren’t you?” Jaehwan asked slowly. Sanghyuk nodded, finger idly tracing the little cat printed onto the drink coasters. Jaehwan had a very nice flair for finding suitable decorations for his store. At least, he thought so. Taekwoon thinks some of it is tacky, though Jaehwan has _seen_ the way Taekwoon has looked at his lampshade that looks like a fish.  Jaehwan knows better.  
  
“Why don’t you work for me?”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked, looking over. His brows were furrowed, and Jaehwan knew he was an alpha, but he looked so small and soft right now. Like a kicked puppy. His voice was quiet, “doesn’t Taekwoon already work for you?”  
  
Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “He volunteers. I pay him with my company and coffee. Especially before Hongbin, Taekwoon was pretty lonely, so what he really needed was someone to talk to. I think you need that, too, just in a different way, and for a different reason. I’ll actually pay you though. Taekwoon has his own job.”  
  
Sanghyuk frowned deeply, “Taekwoon was lonely?”  
  
Jaehwan’s face softened. “He has Hakyeon, yes, but Hakyeon sometimes forgets that there’s people other than Ravi that exist and love him. Especially when… when the pain was more raw. For a long time, I think Taekwoon was looking after him and building him back up, but no one was caring for Taekwoon the way he was for Hakyeon. Taekwoon had lost his best friend too, and his whole life in the wild,” Jaehwan’s tone was somber. He hadn’t meant to have a conversation about sad things, he’d wanted to perk Sanghyuk up a bit. Though Sanghyuk was listening intently, so Jaehwan supposed he wanted to know. “Hakyeon had a degree, had partially grown up in the city, but… Taekwoon took a long time adjusting. He didn’t finish high school, and ended up completing a diploma so he could work with children at a day care. He likes his job a lot, I think, but what he wants is company.”  
  
  
“You’ve done a lot for them, Jaehwan. And I—I know you know that, you even cook for them but… emotionally, you’ve done a lot for them, too,” Sanghyuk couldn’t imagine being completely alone during the loss he was experiencing. The mere thought of never being able to hear his mother’s voice again, never seeing her smile, never seeing his phone ringing and seeing her name come up on the screen… it made his eyes well up with tears. They were now. He sniffled, and wiped his eyes with the back of his palm. He didn’t want to make a scene in the café.  
  
“I-I’ll work for you,” Sanghyuk nodded, mouth trembling. Jaehwan smiled. “I-I hope I can do something for you, too. Even if it’s just manual labor.”  
  
“You can help me reach the the kitty litter on the top shelf,” Jaehwan joked, and Sanghyuk laughed, the sound shaken with tears. His face softened, though. Jaehwan had his own friends. Sandeul, Changsub. They were good people in his life, though he supposed the pack certainly felt like a home. As much as he complained about it being like a reality TV show, it was home, and he felt like he had people who cared for him unconditionally. He smiled to himself at the thought. Jaehwan did a lot for them, but they did a lot for him too. They simply loved him for who he was.  
  
“Are you… are you looking for love, Jaehwan?”  
  
Jaehwan spluttered. “Where did that come from?”  
  
Sanghyuk shrugged coyly. “I—I dunno, everyone else seems… romantically driven lately… I wondered if you had a crush on anyone.”  
  
Jaehwan pinched his nose. “Nah,” he replied truthfully. “While I would like a romantic partner, it’s… it’s difficult, sometimes, being asexual. Some people just don’t realize what I mean by it. A lot of the time, when they say they’re not interested in sex, they don’t really mean it, because they don’t understand I don’t want it at all. Ever.” Jaehwan was fidgeting this time, pursing his lips unhappily. Though, he shrugged, and offered Sanghyuk a smile.  
  
Sanghyuk thought Jaehwan was absolutely stunning, curiously elf-like, his eyes full of stars. “I’m not fussed though. Being romantically involved isn’t ever my first priority.”  
  
“What is?” Sanghyuk blurted, out of curiosity.  
  
Jaehwan blinked, tilting his head in thought. “For now? It’s looking after my brothers,” and Jaehwan smiled.

* * *

  
  
This was a bad idea, Hakyeon told himself, looking into his full-length mirror. Was he over-dressed? It was just coffee. He was wearing a button-up -- not a _dress shirt_ , he thought in defense but still – and well-fitting jeans. Why was he wearing well-fitting jeans? Not just his usual comfy ones? Hakyeon told himself it was because he wanted to look presentable.  
  
_Ravi is dead,_ he heard Taekwoon say in his mind. His eyes squeezed shut. He knows. _The fact aches, it destroys me, but I know._  
  
He bent over, looking at his face up close in the mirror. He fiddled with his hair. It wouldn’t do good to… style it or anything. It was just coffee. It was a bit of a shame, though. His hair looked nice styled. Looking good gave him a sense of confidence, at least. It made him feel like no one could tell the spiritual torture that dwelled within him.  
  
Hakyeon made his way down the stairs, and went for the doorknob when his name was called.  
  
“I thought you said you didn’t have work today,” it was Taekwoon in a simple t-shirt, shorts. It was a bit warmer today so he supposed the weather allowed it. Hakyeon stared at him guiltily for a moment, like a dog that had been caught destroying a sofa.  
  
“I don’t,” Hakyeon mumbled. He knows Taekwoon will think this was a bad idea. He was munching on a biscuit. It looked like one of the biscuits Jaehwan sold at the café. Taekwoon raised his eyebrow, slowly putting the biscuit in his mouth.  
  
“You look like you’re going on a date,” he commented, voice blunt.  
  
Hakyeon snapped, pulling the door open. “It’s just _coffee_ ,” Hakyeon hissed, about to walk out before Taekwoon grabbed his elbow. Hakyeon had been wanting to avoid that. He sighed, looking back up at Taekwoon, half-glowering, half-guilty. Taekwoon just stared at him, and the stare alone told Hakyeon what he thought. Hakyeon’s lip trembled, the tense slope of his shoulders going lax in defeat. “I just want to see him again.”  
  
They both knew Hakyeon wasn’t talking about Wonshik. Hakyeon hung his head, and Taekwoon went to hold him, though Hakyeon stopped him. He raised his other hand and placed it on Taekwoon’s chest, blocking him. He knew Taekwoon was going to hug him, cradle him like he was something fragile. He hated it. He could never tell Taekwoon, but he did. “His eyes are so alike, Taekwoon, it’s like looking into them again. It’s—it’s not the same, I know, but—after so long I want to take what I can get.”  
  
Taekwoon was obviously displeased. Tense where Hakyeon was simply… so sad, the emotion in every curve of his body. Taekwoon spoke up, voice soft and firm, “it won’t do good for Wonshik, either. He might think you’re leading him on.”  
  
“Can’t I just be… selfish for once?” Hakyeon stared up at Taekwoon, whose expression molded into something he couldn’t read. And fuck, it was so _frustrating_ how he could shutter emotions off like that _._ “You _can’t_ tell me that if – if Hongbin died that if—if there was some god forbid doppleganger that appeared you wouldn’t want to see him.”  
  
Taekwoon’s frown creased harder at Hakyeon asking him to imagine Hongbin’s death. His grip on Hakyeon’s elbow grew tighter, and Hakyeon’s eyes flickered up in a reluctant apology. He knew it gave you spiritual pain to think about your soulmate dying, but it was nothing compared to losing your soulmate. Absolutely nothing. _Nothing_ compared. It was obvious Taekwoon didn’t know what to say. It was possible that Taekwoon wouldn’t go and see a dopple-ganger of Hongbin, if their situations were swapped. Hakyeon sighed. “I—I won’t do anything. I won’t – it’s not a date, it’s just to get to know him,” Hakyeon sounded crushed, and Taekwoon finally let go of his elbow. “I just want to make sure he’s… he’s right for us, before we accept him. It’s a risk, letting him in.”  
  
At least Taekwoon agreed with that. “Stay safe, Hakyeon,” he said softly, an echo of their time only as a pair. It sounded like a plea, it had always sounded like a plea. As if he were worried Hakyeon wouldn’t return home, and leave Taekwoon all alone. Hakyeon knew he had removed Taekwoon from everything he knew and loved, that for a while, Hakyeon was all he had. He felt guilty for it, unbearably so, but he supposed Taekwoon finding a soul bond was the God’s way of thanking him.  
  
“I will,” he replied softly, turning and walking down the steps of the porch. He took out his car keys and unlocked it with a beep.  


* * *

 

 

Hakyeon was nervous. He shouldn’t be. A part of him felt like he should be taking a professional approach. Kind but not compassionate, with a clear glass screen between them. Boundaries. He walked into the coffee shop, scanning the chairs and tables to see if he was already here.  
  
“Damn, you beat me,” Hakyeon jumped to hear a voice behind him, turning and looking up. His heart skipped a beat, staring up into those eyes that made him want to cry. _Ravi is dead, Ravi is dead, Ravi is dead, but oh, Ravi is right there._ He swallowed, and Wonshik’s face fell into something more apologetic. “I’m sorry if I startled you,” his voice was deep and smooth, reserved just for him. Hakyeon wanted to hear more of it.  
  
They were in the door way, staring at each other, Wonshik a little awkward by the way Hakyeon was looking at him. His eyes fell away first, and the lack of eye contact made Hakyeon snap out of it. He choked out a weird little sound, turning and walking further into the coffee shop. God, he’d already embarrassed himself.

 

“So, uh, coffee?” Wonshik asked with a friendly smile. “Do you like milk? Or without? I prefer cappuccinos myself.”  
  
Hakyeon’s nose wrinkled at the thought of having coffee without milk. He was glad Wonshik was talkative, at the very least. It helped him ease into the conversation. “I’d like a latte, but uh, here,” he passed Wonshik a ten dollar note, hoping Wonshik would accept it. He did, thanking him softly. “Full cream milk.”  
  
“Sure,” he nodded, and then his head gestured to the tables. “Go and choose a seat, they bring the coffee over so I’ll be there in a bit.”  
  
It felt like a date. Hakyeon felt shy, and nodded. Wonshik was different than Ravi, very different. He thought about the time where Hakyeon had taken Ravi to the city. Hakyeon chose a seat in the corner of the restaurant, away from the other customers. He remembered Ravi always complained about all the clothes he wore, but never complained about the food. He had really loved fast food, sheepishly fond for stuff layered in grease. He loved hotpot too, sharing with Hakyeon, laughing over a meal. Ravi had been an alpha of such raw power, he was something of a spectacle. They turned heads. At least, perhaps that was Hakyeon projecting. Hakyeon had always glorified him, even when Ravi was alive. _Even when Ravi was alive._

  
Hakyeon squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t think about it. His hands were shaking around a menu he couldn’t remember picking up.  
  
“You okay?” Wonshik asked softly, and Hakyeon gave a little squeak, dropping the menu as if he’d been caught red-handed stealing it. Wonshik’s eyes widened, and slowly sat down. He looked hesitant, for a moment, staring into Hakyeon’s eyes. Hakyeon almost didn’t want him to. Hakyeon didn’t quite know if it was painful or it felt good yet.  
  
Hakyeon still hadn’t answered his question. “I’m getting there,” he confessed. It wasn’t really a lie.  
  
“I…” Wonshik swallowed, the table number put between them. “I was worried that… my presence would be a burden to you. So I thought maybe… doing this, you could figure it out for yourself.”  
  
Hakyeon didn’t know. A part of him loved it, a part of him hated it. He knew it was toxic, the way it bubbled up inside him and how it was likely to leave him empty in the end. Hakyeon already was empty, though; it felt like he had nothing left to give. He attempted to shake himself, offering Wonshik a weak smile. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, though it felt as if he stood right now his legs would collapse. His eyes slowly slid to Wonshik’s again. _Ravi._

 

Wonshik obviously doubted that. He rubbed the back of his head, mulling things over. “Tell me about…” he began, sitting in a bit closer, “tell me about your pack mates.”  
  
Hakyeon understood this as trying to get his mind off the fact that Hakyeon was currently seeing Ravi talk to him. He inhaled sharply, “Taekwoon,” he began softly, “is a long-time friend. We met in the wild, when we were younger. He was a part of my soulmate’s pack that merged with my own. He works at a day-care, he’s the head alpha, he’s level-headed most of the time and he’s…” Hakyeon’s eyelashes fluttered, there was so many words he could describe Taekwoon with, “he’s sweet. He’s a good man.”  
  
Ravi – _Wonshik_ – nodded. The action made Hakyeon flinch. “And Jaehwan,” he continued, “he’s a beta, he runs a cat café, and he… he looks after us. He’s always there for us, making sure we’re well fed… and…” Hakyeon’s voice trailed off. He wanted to talk about Hongbin, and Sanghyuk, he loved them too. He adored them, they were his pack mates, but all he could think about was Ravi. Meeting him for the first time, when Ravi had come to their pack, the son of their recently deceased alpha male, to take over. Hakyeon had hated the idea of Ravi until the very moment he met him. And when he met him...  
  
“Your cappuccino, and your latte,” the waitress announced, and Hakyeon blinked soullessly at the latte in front of him. They’d made a heart shape in the froth. It was cute, but Hakyeon didn’t register it. He didn’t notice how the girl looked nervously from Wonshik to Hakyeon, before awkwardly turning away. Wonshik cleared his throat, and something soft was put into his hand. Hakyeon looked down at it. Napkins. He frowned, looking up at Wonshik.  
  
“You’re crying,” Wonshik told him gently, and Hakyeon flinched, immediately dabbing his cheek. He gave a long shaky inhale, clenching his teeth. He let the emotion shudder through him one last time. He looked back up at Wonshik, who was looking over his cappuccino as he sipped it. He was gentle in his gaze, patient. Hakyeon crumbled the napkin in his hand, and took the sugar sachets, ripping them open and sliding the sugar into his coffee. He put three sugars. Today was a stressful day. He took a long sip, eyes closing at how hot it was.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hakyeon said after a moment. He looked down at his coffee, and then back to Wonshik. “I told myself I’d be a… professional, or something. That as long there was a barrier… or something… I could hide behind it.”  
  
Wonshik lowered his coffee. There was something cool-headed about him. It was different to Taekwoon’s taciturn calm. Wonshik was patient, perhaps slow to anger. Hakyeon was glad for it. It was a welcome aura, if he was being honest with himself. Taekwoon was usually composed, but he had a temper that could snap at any moment. Wonshik didn’t seem to have that. “I want to say I understand, but I… don’t know much about soulbonds,” he confessed finally, tilting his head. His eyes were pretty, yet sleepy. They looked so much like Ravi’s, but now that Hakyeon had mostly snapped out of his daze, he could distinguish the two better. Wonshik’s eyes were dark, deep, full of warmth and knowledge. “I don’t expect you to… talk about it, just to be patient with me.”  
  
Hakyeon barked a small laugh, raising his mug. “Patient with _you_?” He smiled and shook his head, taking a sip. “If you can be patient with me, you not knowing anything about soulbonds is nothing.”  
  
Wonshik’s face softened. Hakyeon smiled softly, cupping the mug between his palms. It was warm and comforting. Sort of like Wonshik himself, in a way. Hakyeon looked down at his mug, “a soulbond is like,” he began, glad his voice sounded stable. He paused, it was hard to explain what it felt like to someone who didn’t have a lot of magic. Wonshik had next to none. “A soulbond is like, your left leg, your left arm. It’s as if you’d only lived with only one side of you, and suddenly you have your other limbs, and you can walk and multi-task and… function. You’re complete. Except you’re connected more than just a physical level. It’s spiritually, too, and sometimes even mentally. Ravi and I could send each other images, or memories, telepathically. I know Hongbin and Taekwoon can send emotions back and forth to each other, and feel each other’s physical pain if they want.”  
  
Wonshik listened intently, stirring the cappuccino idly in thought. “Is it hard to part from them? Obviously I’ve heard stories like… Romeo and Juliette, where they were forced apart and so slowly… began to spiritually and mentally break down, so they kept meeting in secret.”  
  
Hakyeon hummed. “Well, while separating people in soul bonds was a medieval torture method, Romeo and Juliette is inaccurate. Romeo would have known that Juliette was still alive. There’s no way you can not know that your soulmate was… was dead.”  
  
Hakyeon’s hands had begun to tremble again. Wonshik looked hesitant. “I suppose it’s… nothing I’ll ever be able to imagine experiencing.”  
  
Hakyeon shook his head. “Nor would you want to,” he replied glumly, though he looked up at Wonshik. He smiled apologetically. “Surely this… isn’t what you wanted to talk about.”  
  
Wonshik just smiled, “truthfully, I wanted to know more about you. You and… everyone, really. It’s a whole new world for me, I guess.”  
  
“It must be daunting,” Hakyeon noted softly, sipping quietly.  
  
Wonshik barked a small laugh, deep and rumbling. “Yeah, it is a bit.”  
  
“Tell me about you,” Hakyeon said softly, tucking himself in closer. His eyes were wide, full of intent to listen. Wonshik smiled, and it was pretty, the way his cheeks bunched up a bit, his little mouth pressed in a tight smile.  
  
“I’m a banker,” Wonshik stated the obvious. “I live in an apartment, it’s sleek and expensive, but it’s not homely. I have a little sister that lives out of town, all my family are betas.”  
  
“I could tell,” Hakyeon commented. Wonshik raised an eyebrow. “Your magic is practically non-existent.”  
  
Wonshik touched his tummy, pouting a bit. Hakyeon laughed, it was funny to think that is where Wonshik thought the magic would dwell. “I’m sorry, continue.”  
  
Wonshik was smiling, a hand cradling his face, his eyes fond. Hakyeon thought he was cute. Endearing, in his own way; Wonshik was tall, broad, a long face and sleepy eyes and silver hair, but he was cute and innocent in his mannerisms. “My favourite food is lobster, I’ve dated many people but to no avail, I like all kinds of music…” his voice trailed off, trying to think of more random facts, “I like long walks at the beach…”  
  
Hakyeon laughed softly, and Wonshik did too, his laugh so much deeper. It was a nice sound. He couldn’t help think how starkly it contrasted to Taekwoon’s usual, sweetly pitched breathless laughter. Wonshik was looking at him again, eyes full of honey, and Hakyeon had to look away again. “To no avail? Why?” Hakyeon asked, genuinely curious. Did Wonshik have a weird hobby? A habit? Was he secretly an awful person?  
  
Wonshik shrugged. “They simply never clicked. I dunno, it never felt right. All the people I’ve dated… I couldn’t shake the feeling that they were only temporary, because something else was to come.”  
  
Hakyeon thought that sounded like magical instinct, but Wonshik had such little magic in him. He supposed it would just be explained as a gut feeling. Hakyeon simply nodded, sighing softly. “I suppose if it doesn’t click, it doesn’t click.”  
  
Wonshik nods in silent agreement. There was a small lull in the conversation, and Wonshik tilted his head, regarding Hakyeon. “I know it’s—I hope it’s not selfish for me to say, because I know my appearance gives you pain, but… this… this feels right. It feels like the right decision.”  
  
Hakyeon watched him for a few moments. He slowly lowered his mug, placing it back on its saucer. “Yeah,” he said softly. And he hoped to the Gods it wasn’t just him projecting. It wasn’t just him… wanting Wonshik to be the right choice. It was certainly selfish of him, in that aspect. Though Wonshik’s… calm and patience and rationality was perhaps something that Hakyeon needed. That the pack needed. Hakyeon was rational too, but he was burdened with emotion. He couldn’t think straight half the time. Wonshik would be good.  
  
“I really do hope you like camping,” Hakyeon added, with a little smile on his face. Wonshik returned it.

* * *

 

  
Hakyeon returned home, later in the afternoon. They had talked longer than either of them had expected, and Wonshik had to go, so they parted. It ended on a good note, and Hakyeon was pleased. His similarities with Ravi aside, Hakyeon liked him. He was sure the others would like him too. Including Taekwoon.  
  
He sighed, closing the door behind him. He could only sense one aura in the house, and he knew immediately it was Sanghyuk. That didn’t feel right. He didn’t like the idea of Sanghyuk being home alone. He walked around the corner, and popped his head into the lounge-room. Sanghyuk wasn’t there. He went up the stairs quietly, finding Sanghyuk’s bedroom door ajar. He cautiously opened it, eyes falling on Sanghyuk on the floor.

 

He was staring blankly down at a picture frame. Hakyeon could see the little domes of fallen tears on the picture, plipping down onto the glass.  
  
“Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon whispered, though it was enough for Sanghyuk to flinch badly. Sanghyuk almost dropped the picture frame, eyes staring up at Hakyeon and immediately away, his voice rasping for words he couldn’t string together. Hakyeon went to him, falling to his knees, pulling Sanghyuk into his arms.  
  
Sanghyuk fell into his chest, his cheeks wet with tears. “I miss her,” he sobbed, his arms curling around Hakyeon’s waist. He was so much bigger, yet felt so much smaller. Hakyeon rested his cheek on the crown of Sanghyuk’s head. “I miss her so much, and… and Dad hasn’t even contacted me, it makes me so… angry and upset and sad.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s grip on Hakyeon tightened, pulling him closer. He sobbed, and Hakyeon knew that ache too well, the heavy feeling in his heart. Like his arteries were waterlogged. He knew it all too well. “It’s okay to cry, Sanghyuk,” he promised softly. “You can let it all out, if you want. I know… what it feels like.”  
  
Sanghyuk brought his legs up in a defensive position. Hakyeon curled into his side, making it more comfortable for him, more _comforting,_ so that Sanghyuk could cry into his shoulder. Hakyeon caressed his face, down his hair and his neck, rhythmically. He remembered when Taekwoon used to give him head rubs when he was in so much pain. They never took away the grief, but sometimes calmed him into a brief slumber.  
  
Sanghyuk’s chest trembled with sobs, face resting on the shoulder Hakyeon’s claim mark was on. Sanghyuk knew because he could smell it, as he held him. He could smell someone else, too, a beta. It smelled familiar, but it wasn’t Jaehwan… it was… _Wonshik._ His emotional state gave him a lack of control, and before he knew it, his hands curled into real, sharp claws, digging into Hakyeon’s back. Hakyeon gasped in pain, arching into Sanghyuk.  
  
“Sanghyuk,” he breathed. Sanghyuk was shaking, the wolf becoming unbearable. With his head on Hakyeon’s claim shoulder, the wolf was awake and wanting to overtake him. “Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon repeated again, raising his hand to push at Sanghyuk’s chest, to caress his face. “Let go, Hyukkie, please, let go. It hurts,” he hissed softly.  
  
At the nickname, Sanghyuk blinked into lucidity, and the claws retracted like a cat, and he unravelled himself. He looked up at Sanghyuk, eyes wide with guilt and fear, lifting his now human hand, and went to touch his teeth. His canines were sharp. Hakyeon slumped back a bit, his hand on his claim mark. It must have been Ravi’s… alpha mark. There must be still magic laced inside the claim mark, permanently etched into him. A part of Hakyeon was happy, but seeing how scared Sanghyuk looked…  
  
“Sanghyuk,” he said softly, leaning over again. He took Sanghyuk’s hand, squeezing it between his own. “It’s alright, you can’t help it.”  
  
“I’m so sorry,” Sanghyuk said, sounding broken. His eyes welled up with tears again. “I hurt you.”  
  
Hakyeon hushed him softly, bringing him into another hug again. He coerced Sanghyuk’s head to his other shoulder. Sanghyuk was very hesitant to hug back, but he did eventually, hiding his face away. He’d pierced through Hakyeon’s nice shirt. He looked like he’d gone out somewhere nice. He’d have to buy him a new shirt to apologize.  
  
“You’ll be okay,” Hakyeon said softly, running a hand down Sanghyuk’s spine, back up to the back of his head. He broke away to look into his eyes. “You aren’t alone, Hyukkie, even if you feel it.”  
  
Sanghyuk swallowed thickly. “Thank you, Hakyeon,” he mumbled, his canines shrinking back. He tentatively touched his now blunt teeth with his tongue. “T-That felt weird,” he added. Hakyeon nodded fondly, running his hand through Sanghyuk’s hair.  
  
“You’ll get used to it. Taekwoon will teach you when we go to the wild.”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked, brightening up a little. “So we’re really going camping? I’m learning how to shift?”  
  
Hakyeon held Sanghyuk’s hands, squeezing them. “We sure are. Wonshik liked the idea.”  
  
Sanghyuk smiled to himself. Smiling suited Sanghyuk a lot better. He was a handsome man. Sanghyuk nodded, cheeks bunching up a little. “It’s… it’s something to look forward to, thank you.”  
  
Hakyeon had to hold himself back from kissing his forehead. He was always scared that it’d feel like he was giving Sanghyuk ideas, where really he simply wished to be affectionate to his packmate. “It’ll be fun.”  
  
“Yeah, it will,” Sanghyuk agreed softly.

 

* * *

 

Hongbin gnawed on his thumb nail in thought, pouring over the essay he was supposed to write for one of his courses. Unfortunately, this was one where Hakyeon wasn’t his lecturer, so Hakyeon couldn’t help. Regardless, he was about five thousand words in, and the dark smudges under his eyes showed it. He had textbooks laid open on his desk, pens and highlighters strewed across them, the screen of his laptop stinging his irises. He’d been looking at the screen for too long. He put the brightness down, and then came a knock on his bedroom door.  
  
Taekwoon opened the door before he could speak, and their eyes met. “Dinner is ready,” Taekwoon spoke softly, his gaze left Hongbin to look at the mess of his desk. Taekwoon was glad he had never gone to university, “do you want to eat in your room?”  
  
Hongbin was already standing, his knees thanking him for it. He sighed, flexing his arms. “No, no, I want an excuse to leave it.”  
  
Taekwoon laughed under his breath, tucking an arm around Hongbin’s waist. They went into the living room where Taekwoon had set the hotpot down on the small two-person dining table, the meat simmering. Taekwoon kissed Hongbin’s temple before he parted from him, sitting down and passing Hongbin chopsticks.  
  
The magic was happy between them. It had been three days since their conversation about Hongbin’s upcoming heat. He could feel it sinking into his bones, like a creeping fever. Taekwoon had been hovering around him like a concerned mother, but Hongbin wanted him nearby anyway. He didn’t like being away from him.  
  
They began to eat, silently tucking in. Taekwoon was a good cook; he was, of course, nothing like Jaehwan, but his food was tasty. Perhaps that was Hongbin’s bias. He smiled down at his food at the thought.  
  
“Did Hakyeon message you about Wonshik?” Taekwoon asked quietly after a few moments, sifting through the little bowl he’d made for himself.  
  
Hongbin nodded. “Yeah, I think he’ll be good. It’s a—it’s a shame my heat is coming at such a bad time.”  
  
Taekwoon simply shrugged, and the mere gesture allowed Hongbin to relax some. “It’s nothing we can’t post-pone. Besides, after all the stress of your heat… a small vacation might be good.”  
  
Hongbin blinked. “A vacation?”  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes gave a little twinkle. “Sanghyuk thought of the idea that maybe we could go out to the wild… camping, or something, for the week that Wonshik stays with us. This will be after your heat, of course.”  
  
Hongbin tilted his head, his eyes a little wide. “What did Hakyeon say?”  
  
“He likes the idea,” Taekwoon said simply, “he thinks it will be good for the both of us. It’s been a while since the either of us shifted,” he paused, remembering when Hakyeon shifted due to grief, “at least, voluntarily.”  
  
Hongbin’s mouth twisted, looking back at his food. A small silence went over them, before Taekwoon’s voice spoke up quietly, “darling?”  
  
Hongbin looked up, and he sighed to see Taekwoon look so concerned. He had the innocence of a puppy sometimes, and it was terribly hard to deny him. “I’d… like to know these things too,” he confessed quietly. “I don’t know why everyone else knows but me.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face fell into something more apologetic, and he sighed softly. “I know, I didn’t want to disturb you. I know you’ve been worrying about your grades ever since… me.”  
  
Hongbin stared at him. “That doesn’t matter. We see each other all the time, you could have told me over breakfast—“  
  
“I’ll—I’ll make sure to tell you, I promise,” Taekwoon offered Hongbin a smile, but Hongbin’s smile in response seemed belated.  
  
There was a small silence, and Hongbin murmured, “the food is good.”  
  
The line of Taekwoon’s shoulders slumped somewhat, murmuring a small “thank you,” though it was obvious it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. After he finished, he set his chopsticks down, and to his surprise, Hongbin spoke up.  
  
“What colour wolf are you?” Hongbin asked quietly, looking up from his own bowl.  
  
Taekwoon looked at Hongbin ardently. There was no one he loved more in the world. “Black,” he responded softly. Hongbin smiled softly, a dimple creasing his cheek.  
  
“I bet you’re pretty.”  
  
“I could shift right now, if you wanted me to,” he replied immediately, almost cutting him off. Hongbin startled, looking up. He smiled wider this time, finding Taekwoon cute.  
  
“Would you do that for me?” Hongbin asked, and Taekwoon was already standing up, and tucking his chair in. Hongbin waited with bated breath, curled fists against his thighs. He didn’t know why he was so nervous.  
  
Taekwoon appeared nervous too; like he was scared Hongbin would find his wolf form ugly. Taekwoon took in a deep breath, and before Hongbin’s eyes, transformed. It was seamless; not an ugly distortion of joints forming and crouching down like Hongbin had seen in the movies. Within two seconds there was a wolf sitting before him, fur as black as ink, with the shimmering quality of raven feathers. Hongbin was gawking, at a loss for words, as Taekwoon shuffled on the spot, restless.  
  
Hongbin slid off the chair, lowering himself onto the floor. He didn’t know why he was so hesitant, scared even. Taekwoon hadn’t transformed into a dog, but a large Alpha wolf, those depicted as blood-thirsty, cunning and feral. Yet Taekwoon’s eyes were full of emotion, human intelligence. Hongbin raised his hand, palm slowly smoothing over his fur from his snout to his head. The fur was more coarse than a normal dog, but still fluffy. Hongbin smiled, then, when Taekwoon leant into it, moving closer to let Hongbin hug him around his neck. Hongbin laughed against his fur, seeing Taekwoon’s tail wag, his cheek licked. Hongbin wiped his face, and pulled back, watching Taekwoon revert to the man he loved.  
  
They were sitting on the floor, Taekwoon mussed and completely naked with his clothes strewn across the ground. Hongbin didn’t give it a second thought. He leant in, tilting his chin up, and kissed Taekwoon’s mouth. Taekwoon was obviously surprised and had to take a moment for the kiss to sink in, before he leant into it, tilting his head to the side. After a few moments, they broke away and Hongbin was smiling. Taekwoon sighed sweetly as Hongbin’s eyes trailed down to Taekwoon’s claim mark. Hongbin reached over and touched it, feeling the grooves of the scarred skin against his fingers, tracing the dark pink veins branching down his shoulder like a spider web.  
  
“I love you,” Hongbin whispered, gaze lifting to Taekwoon’s, whose had never left his face. Taekwoon leant in again, kissing him, mouths warm and wet and wanting. Hongbin’s cheeks were red this time when Taekwoon pulled away.  
  
“I love you too,” Taekwoon murmured, and Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered to feel the magic flow through him. He could feel Taekwoon’s affection and love for him, and Hongbin hung his head. A hot flush ran through him, and it took him a moment to realize he’d never felt anything like that before. Taekwoon’s magic had hit him so strong he felt nauseous.  
  
“Hongbin?” Taekwoon asked, his voice with a tone of concern. He reached over, taking Hongbin’s cheek, before immediately moving his palm to rest it over Hongbin’s forehead. “You’re burning up,” he whispered, and Hongbin blinked wearily. “I thought you said your heat was… it would be in a few more days.”  
  
Hongbin swallowed thickly. He definitely felt hot, but he didn’t feel the unbearably strong sex-drive that came with his heats. He licked his lips nervously, taking a shaky breath. “I’m not—I’m not feeling… my heat hasn’t hit yet, it’s just… coming faster,” he said quietly; his eyes fell down Taekwoon’s chest, and lower to his hips; his cock and thighs. He was impossibly red, “I think it’s because I’m--- I’m seeing you like this—I dunno,” he added, flustered, forcing himself to look away. Taekwoon’s body was beautiful, and he’d seen Taekwoon’s cock before so it wasn’t like it was a necessarily _new_ thing. He didn’t know why he felt like this all of a sudden; sweat prickled up on the back of his neck.  
  
Taekwoon moved, standing, putting his pants back on. Hongbin sat on the floor still, eyes focusing on a spot on the floor. He then felt hands; hands pulling him up, and it felt like where Taekwoon touched him boiled hot against his skin. He groaned softly in pain when Taekwoon picked him up, legs either side of Taekwoon’s hips. Hongbin’s head lulled onto Taekwoon’s shoulder.  
  
“’M hot,” Hongbin slurred, feeling the sweat bead up against his forehead.  
  
“I know, Binnie,” Taekwoon replied softly, taking him to their bed, laying him down across it. He put the fans on full, and leant over him. God, he was beautiful, and his wolf was restless seeing Hongbin like this. “I’m going to get some wet towels for your head, okay?”  
  
“Okay,” Hongbin replied, eyelids heavy. He watched Taekwoon go, fumbling a little in his worry. He was such a worry wart. Hongbin smiled a little despite how he felt. Silly Taekwoon, his soulmate was so cute and silly…  
  
Taekwoon returned, and suddenly a cold towel was pressed against Hongbin’s forehead after Taekwoon had pushed his hair back. Ah, that was nice. Hongbin hummed under his breath, while Taekwoon used another towel to dab his cheeks, his neck. Hongbin was wearing a sweater, and Taekwoon knew it obviously wouldn’t be helping him cool down.  
  
“Can I take off your sweater?” Taekwoon asked softly, and as soon as Hongbin nodded, Taekwoon helped sit him up and take his sweater off. Hongbin sighed immediately once it was put aside, collapsing back onto the mattress.  
  
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon said softly, and Hongbin looked up at him to let Taekwoon know he was listening. “Have you ever had a heat off your beta pills?”  
  
Hongbin thought about it, his face damp now, before shaking his head. “Never,” he replied drowsily. “This is my first time.”  
  
Taekwoon tried not to look nervous. So, this would be Hongbin’s first heat at full-force, after suppressing his magic for so long through medication. No wonder it was coming on like this. He chewed his lip nervously, taking Hongbin’s hand and raising it, kissing the back of his palm.  
  
“You’re so cute, Taek,” Hongbin said. Taekwoon squinted; Hongbin was definitely delirious.  
  
“I’m going to ring Hakyeon,” he said softly, raising to his feet. He looked nervous. The magic was unstable, the pull towards Hongbin unbearable. He shook himself. “U-Uhm, stay there.”  
  
Hongbin pouted, eyes wide. “I’ll miss you.”  
  
Taekwoon made a little noise, leaving the room to grab his phone. He began to call Hakyeon, pressing the phone against his ear.  
  
“Hello?” _Oh thank the Gods, he answered._  
  
“Hakyeon—I—“ Taekwoon swallowed.  
  
Hakyeon’s voice had gone from curious to serious. “What’s wrong Taekwoon?”  
  
“So I—Hongbin is experiencing heat, not the—he isn’t _wanting,_ he just has a really bad fever, and he’s delirious. So I think it’s coming faster than I thought, because it’s the first time he’s had a heat without… having any of his magic or hormones repressed. What should I do?”  
  
Hakyeon’s voice was calm. “I would suggest giving him a cold bath. With these waves of heat, you just have to cool him down and wait it out. He should be back to normal in half-an-hour or so if he has a cold bath.”  
  
Taekwoon swallowed. “Alright, thank you, Hakyeon. I-Is this normal?”  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied quietly.  
  
“But I’ve—I’ve experienced omega’s heats before. I’ve _mated_ with someone during their heat, it wasn’t—like this—“  
  
“This isn’t a normal heat, Taekwoon. You are experiencing a heat with your Soulmate. I think you should think of this as your first experience,” Hakyeon’s voice was wavering; likely remembering things he didn’t wish to think about. Taekwoon chewed on his bottom lip. “Your magic will be going haywire, but you have to look after him. Give him a cold bath, and he’ll be fine.”  
  
“Okay,” Taekwoon replied, “okay I will.”  
  
“Text me when he comes to.”  
  
“I will. Thank you.”  
  
Taekwoon ended the call, and returned to Hongbin. He was exactly the way he left him, but perhaps more damp than before. Hongbin’s eyes lit up to see Taekwoon, like Taekwoon had unraveled his Christmas present.  
  
“Taekwoon, you’re back,” Hongbin’s hand rose to cup Taekwoon’s cheek when Taekwoon leant down to pick him up. He cradled him in a bridal position before making his way to the bathroom. Hongbin’s skin was scalding. He had a flush across his cheeks and down his neck. “What are you doing?”  
  
“I’m giving you a bath,” Taekwoon told him softly. He awkwardly opened the door to the bathroom with Hongbin in his arms, pushing the door open.  
  
“But I _already_ bathed today,” Hongbin whined, voice slurring. It was like he was drunk, a silly and delirious drunk. Taekwoon lowered him into the bathtub, getting a towel for him to rest his head against on the edge of the basin.  
  
“It’s to cool you down,” Taekwoon told him, his voice soft and patient. “I am going to have to take your clothes off, can you help me?”  
  
Hongbin pinched his nose, though didn’t complain, shimmying out of his pants. Letting Taekwoon pull Hongbin’s shirt over his head and away. Taekwoon noticed Hongbin’s cock was flaccid, and was glad for it, knowing for a heat to come _that_ fast would be excruciating. Hongbin’s slim legs pulled up when Taekwoon started the water. Hongbin stared as the water came up to his toes, keeping his legs against his chest as if it’d hurt him. He was like a child, soft and scared, and Taekwoon leant in, pressing his forehead against Hongbin’s temple, closing his eyes. He sent Hongbin soothing emotions, sweet words to fill him with confidence and affection. He nuzzled Hongbin’s shoulder while Hongbin slowly relaxed, the water filling up the tub, the cool water against his feverish skin.  
  
Hongbin sighed, the sound wistful, craning his head back against the tub in bliss. Taekwoon allowed himself to unwind, slumping against the tub and simply watching him.  
  
“Do you feel better?” He asked after a few moments of silence. Hongbin nodded, eyes closed. He mumbled a little thank you. Taekwoon nodded, exhaling in relief, looking down at the water. He let Hongbin relax, soak up the cold water, let it cool him down. He dipped his hand in the water, then ran his hand through Hongbin’s hair, slicking it back. Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered happily.  
  
Minutes past and Hongbin opened his eyes. He looked over at Taekwoon, eyes lucid. Taekwoon perked up, sitting up a little from his slouched position on the bathtub. “That was awful,” Hongbin mumbled.  
  
Taekwoon hummed, reaching over. He ran his hand through Hongbin’s hair again, before he rested his palm on Hongbin’s forehead. He felt much better, he’d cooled right down. He removed his hand to see Hongbin staring at him, and Taekwoon’s features softened.  
  
“Thanks for looking after me,” Hongbin added, smiling fondly. Taekwoon wanted to kiss him, and despite it being awkward, he leant over, dipping his head down to press his lips against Hongbin’s. Hongbin tilted his head up to meet Taekwoon, though also raised his hands, took Taekwoon’s shoulders and dragged Taekwoon into the bathtub.  
  
Taekwoon squawked, his body sliding into the tub with a splash, water splattering across the tiles. He caught himself, resurfacing from the water to see Hongbin laughing at him. Hongbin cupped his face with his wet hands, leaning in to kiss him, and Taekwoon couldn’t help but smile.  
  
They kissed, Taekwoon’s hands either side of Hongbin’s hips, holding himself up. His jeans were in the water too, the porcelain digging into his knees. He broke away and went to stand, though Hongbin’s hands slipped down to Taekwoon’s shoulders, pressing him down. Taekwoon looked up over his wet bangs, their noses almost brushing.  
  
“Stay in the tub with me,” Hongbin pouted. “You can lay on me if you want.”  
  
“It’s cold,” Taekwoon pouted, and Hongbin sighed. He supposed it would be cold for him. Taekwoon was shivering, too. Hongbin gave in with a little nod, and Taekwoon climbed out of the bath, his wet jeans stuck to his legs. He sniffed, grabbing a towel, though didn’t use it on himself. Hongbin looked up as Taekwoon unraveled it expectantly for him.  
  
Hongbin sighed, languid limbs pushing themselves up out of the water. He stepped out of the bath, and let himself be enveloped by Taekwoon’s towel that smelled like his cologne. It was soft and warm, and Hongbin hummed while Taekwoon dried him.  
  
Taekwoon mumbled something under his breath, and Hongbin looked up, raising an eyebrow. Taekwoon’s lips pressed together, looking shy before he repeated himself, “I’ll always take care of you,” he murmured, “just as you’ll always take care of me.”  
  
Hongbin warmed at that. He nodded, and pushed Taekwoon playfully away when Taekwoon hooked the towel around his head, pulling him in for a kiss. Hongbin laughed breathlessly, wiggling, his bare skin getting cold. Taekwoon was smiling so widely, wrapping the towel around Hongbin’s waist before he turned to go get Hongbin some clothes.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! <3
> 
> i really love reading the comments so if you have any thoughts or anything to say at all please leave a comment ;~;


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taekwoon tilted his head on Hongbin’s as he looked back down at the photos. “I miss him.”
> 
> Hongbin took Taekwoon’s hand, entwining their fingers. “He must have been a great person to have been so loved.”

“Who’re you texting?” Sanghyuk asked, leaning against the doorframe.  
  
Hakyeon looked up from his desk, an eyebrow raising. He lowered his phone. “Why are you asking?”  
  
Sanghyuk scrunched up his face. It was obvious he was thinking about the answer seriously. Was it jealousy? Curiosity? Sanghyuk folded his arms, and answered with a shrug.  
  
It was clear by Hakyeon’s expression that Sanghyuk was being childish. So what if he was? He had the right to know. “I have the right to know,” he replied. He might as well voice his thoughts.  
  
Hakyeon sighed, looking down to his phone again. He picked it up, and opened the message he had been writing. Sanghyuk watched him pointedly click send and stare up at him. Sanghyuk went to glare at him before his phone vibrated.  
  
Sanghyuk gave Hakyeon a wary look before fishing out his phone, turning the screen on to see a message from Hakyeon.  
  
_Good luck for your first day on the job._  
  
Sanghyuk’s shoulders slumped. Oh. He scratched his cheek awkwardly, looking back up to see that Hakyeon had leant back in his chair with raised brows. He looked unimpressed. Sanghyuk felt very small. He gave an apologetic glance before he shyly texted back.  
  
_Thanks, Hakyeon. I’m sorry for being a dick._

Hakyeon’s phone chirped at him, and Hakyeon looked down at the screen. His stare returned to Sanghyuk. “I understand your Alpha is giving you a hard time,” Hakyeon said, his voice hard. Yet even like this, Sanghyuk couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful he looked. He swallowed. “But I do not wish to put up with it. Especially when I’m working.”  
  
He gestured his abundant papers strewn across his desk. It looked like he was marking exams. Sanghyuk looked at a spot at the floor between them. When he finally looked up, Hakyeon’s face had softened.  
  
“You need to work out something with Taekwoon. He can help you with this.”  
  
There was a pause, and Sanghyuk swallowed. “You… you know I like you, don’t you?”  
  
Hakyeon blinked, and he sighed, lowering his phone. Sanghyuk was hugging himself; there was no one else to defend, or protect him. A pause.  
  
“Yes, I do.” Hakyeon replied, his tone much more gentle. He was looking down at his papers, as if mulling something over. “Look, Sanghyuk, I—“  
  
“I-It’s okay, I get it,” Sanghyuk blurted. He took a step back, and raised his hands defensively in a gesture that only made sense if Hakyeon was about to get violent. Hakyeon stared incredulously. “I get it, you don’t like me like I like you, I just—wanted to explain why—“  
  
“Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon began, leaning forward. “It’s—“  
  
Sanghyuk looked for the time on his wrist. He didn’t have a watch. He didn’t even own a watch. “I-I gotta go. Late for work, see you.”

  
Hakyeon slumped in defeat when Sanghyuk scampered off. He supposed he might have been a little short with him.

  
\--

 

 

Sanghyuk sped around the stairs and opened the front door to escape, and found a startled Hongbin who had froze on the spot. It looked as if he was just about to reach the doorknob.  
  
“Hongbin—“ Sanghyuk’s voice cracked. Why did it have to do that.  
  
Hongbin stared. Sanghyuk supposed it was quite alarming to see him panting like this. “Are you okay?” Hongbin deadpanned.

  
“Great, right as rain. Fit as a fiddle. Late for work, though.” Sanghyuk went to look down at his watch-less wrist again. He had to stop doing that. Hongbin raised an eyebrow. Sanghyuk tried to push past him.  
  
“Hey uh—Sanghyuk?” Hongbin put his hand on Sanghyuk’s chest, who blinked.  
  
“Y-Yeah?”  
  
“Want to watch a movie with us tonight? After dinner.”  
  
“You’re going to the cinema?” Sanghyuk asked, lights in his eyes.  
  
Hongbin pouted, “no,” and Sanghyuk slumped before Hongbin added, “just at home. A movie I like is discounted on DVD, so we’re going to watch it tonight.”  
  
Sanghyuk looked warily back into the house. “Will Hakyeon—“  
  
“Probably not. He’s pretty busy.” Hongbin’s tone sounded wary, as if Sanghyuk wouldn’t come if Hakyeon wasn’t there.  
  
Sanghyuk puffed his chest out. “Okay, I’ll be there.”  
  
Hongbin blinked and Sanghyuk _relished_ in the fact that Hongbin was surprised. “O-Oh, uh, see you then.”  
  
“Yeah, wish me luck at work!”  
  
Hongbin smiled, and waved Sanghyuk off, before turning to walk back inside. He found Hakyeon half-way down the staircase, frozen as if he’d caught him red-handed eavesdropping. Hongbin raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Are you the reason Sanghyuk is so flustered?” Hongbin asked easily. Hakyeon scowled, his frame relaxing. “Like, more than usual?”  
  
Hakyeon shot him a glare. Hongbin smiled. “He likes me,” he said matter-of-factly.  
  
“Oh, I know,” Hongbin puts his hands in his pockets casually. “I have to put up with it every time you wear high-waisted pants.”  
  
Hakyeon’s mouth twisted. He sighed exasperatedly, and went to turn around again, “I have no idea what to do about it.”  
  
“You could do me a favour and stop wearing them,” Hongbin took a step forward. Hakyeon’s head whipped around.  
  
“I will _not!_ I look great in them.” He smiled fondly though, when Hongbin broke into laughter. He sighed, the sound contemplative, and Hakyeon looked down in thought.  
  
“Hey, Hakyeon, you mind if I ask you about something? Are you busy?”  
  
Hakyeon was, though the look on Hongbin’s face was hard to say no to. Plus, if it were anything about Taekwoon, that took priority. He owed Taekwoon big time, for everything he had done. Hakyeon’s eyes widened. “Is it about Taekwoon?”  
  
Hongbin took a step forward and nodded. Hakyeon took it as something that was meant to be private, and simply turned and went up the stairs. Hongbin followed Hakyeon into his bedroom and closed the door.  
  
“It’s about… I looked at Taekwoon’s calendar, and found out his birthday will be soon,” Hongbin began, sitting down on Hakyeon’s bed as Hakyeon sat on his desk chair. Hongbin was looking at his hands. “I want to do something for him. It’s in three weeks but I wanted to do something for him.”  
  
Hakyeon had crossed his legs on the chair, head resting against his hand in thought. He hummed in thought under his breath.  
  
“I thought about going on a date, or something but—we’ll be… all camping, most likely.”  
  
“Ah,” Hakyeon blinked, his hand dropping to rest on the arm of the chair. “That we will.”  
  
“So I don’t know what I should do.” Hongbin’s cheeks were now a shade of pink. “I don’t want to—give him just—sex or something, I—“  
  
“No,” Hakyeon snapped his fingers. Hongbin flinched and looked up. Hakyeon was now standing, had walked over to his closet. Hongbin watched him dig something out. It was right at the back, as if Hakyeon had hidden it from everybody, and perhaps even himself, but he pulled it out. There was no mistaking the trembling of his hands. He passed it to Hongbin, and Hongbin found that it was some sort of album. Leather-bound and fraying around the edges. Hakyeon sat beside Hongbin on the bed as Hongbin slowly opened it.  
  
They were polaroids of Hakyeon, much younger, smiles bigger than Hongbin had ever seen them. Hongbin had forgotten all about what he was there for and found himself looking at them. The majority of photos were of Hakyeon, and many of them were taken when Hakyeon was unaware of it. It was Hakyeon walking through the forest, Hakyeon poking at a bonfire, or putting his toes in the water of a river. Then, as Hongbin turned the page, there was another person in the photos. At first glance, Hongbin obviously thought it was Wonshik, but Hongbin leant in closer.  
  
Ravi was definitely more rugged, his hair dishevelled, and his face was tipped up in a laugh. His face was longer, his eyes full of fire where Wonshik's weren’t. Hongbin could almost hear it, how loud and happy it looked. In the photo, Hakyeon was tucked into his side, laughing effortlessly into Ravi’s neck. Hongbin felt Hakyeon tense beside him, and he looked over to see Hakyeon trembling.  
  
Hongbin curled an arm around Hakyeon, pulling him closer. Hakyeon was pliant, letting him settle into Hongbin’s side, resting his head on Hongbin’s shoulder. Hakyeon exhaled shakily. “I can’t look at these often,” he whispered. “Especially not alone. It was… Ravi’s camera. He loved taking photos and he—bought the polaroids in bulk and begged me to go back to the city with him to get more. I had the money, you see.”  
  
“Are you… suggesting I take pictures of Taekwoon? Make an album?” Hongbin asked gently.  
  
“No,” and Hakyeon reached over, flipping a couple of pages. Hongbin stopped him for a moment, turning back a page that he had seen a flash of.  
  
Hongbin burst into laughter. “Is that—“  
  
Hakyeon was smiling too, an arm wrapping around Hongbin’s middle. “Yes, that’s Taekwoon.”  
  
Hongbin lifted the album back up so they both could see. There was Taekwoon and Ravi with an arm around each other, smiling. It looked like Hakyeon had taken the photo. Taekwoon’s hair was shoulder-length, messy and in need of a wash. Hongbin bit his lip. “Oh dear,” he snickered.  
  
“It looked alright when it was well-kept, or put it in a ponytail,” Hakyeon defended, though there was no mistaking the amusement of his voice. “But most of the time it—“  
  
“He looks like Severus Snape.” Hongbin interrupted. Hakyeon barked a laugh. “I mean, he looks very handsome, so a hot Severus Snape.”  
  
“Please do not say ‘hot Severus Snape’ ever again.”  
  
Hongbin giggled. “Sorry.”  
  
Hakyeon had taken the page, and began to flip it again. His hand was still trembling, and Hongbin noted to himself how well Hakyeon was keeping this all in. It must be agonizing, seeing Ravi in photos.  
  
He stopped on a page, and it was of Hakyeon. It was at night, and it was shots – some slightly blurry – of Hakyeon dancing in front of a large bon-fire.  
  
“You were beautiful,” Hongbin said in awe.  
  
Hakyeon smacked Hongbin’s thigh.  
  
“Is—are. Are. Are beautiful.” Hongbin corrected, laughing.  
  
Hakyeon hummed contently.  
  
Hongbin cleared his throat. “You dance?”  
  
“I used to,” Hakyeon said softly. It sounded as if his voice was miles away. “When he was alive. I danced for him and the Gods.”  
  
“The Gods?”  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied. “There are different dances that have been passed down for generations. Once you learn them, you never forget them. They’re ingrained in you. Different dances appease different Gods. So you can dance for fertility, or shelter, or territory, or food, or for a mate. You dance for their blessing.”  
  
“Is it a… omega thing?” Hongbin asked softly. He attempted to look down onto Hakyeon’s face, but Hakyeon remained stubborn, curled against Hongbin’s side.  
  
“Not necessarily. Though I always thought omegas… I always thought the Gods favoured us more. They liked it when we danced for them.” Hakyeon smiled, but the expression was bittersweet. “Omegas have a spiritual connection that Alphas are always jealous of.”  
  
“But you don’t… dance for the Gods anymore.” Hongbin pointed out quietly.  
  
“No,” Hakyeon sighed. “After all I did for them… after how faithful I was, after how… much I danced for them, they took him away. I’ve never danced for them since.”  
  
Hongbin bit his lip, caressing his thumb over one of the photos. He understood, why Hakyeon felt like that. Judging by the photos, and how bright Hakyeon smiled as he danced, Hakyeon had loved dancing. Loved the Gods. He felt a sense of grief.  
  
“Do you want me to… dance for the Gods?”  
  
“Not necessarily,” Hakyeon replied softly, after a few moments. “I think you should dance for Taekwoon.”  
  
“Taekwoon--?”  
  
“It was as much his culture as it was mine. He got up and danced with the others a few times.” Hakyeon was smiling, as he said, “he wasn’t the best, but there was always something about him. He has his own aura.”  
  
Hongbin nods.  
  
“There’s a—there’s a certain dance, I can teach you, purely only for a soul-mate to another. It helps your bond, and your magic and… I think it would be a nice surprise, for him.”  
  
“And you’ll teach me?”  
  
Hakyeon sat up. His face was soft, fond and sweet. “If you’d like me to.”  
  
Hongbin looked back down at the album. He found himself smiling, and he felt a giddy. “I—I can’t dance very well, I—“  
  
“I will teach you,” Hakyeon replied easily, cupping Hongbin’s face. Hongbin smiled, and leant in to give him a crushing hug. Hakyeon wheezed and laughed, holding him back.  
  
“Thank you, Hakyeon.”  
  
\--

 

 

After dinner, Hongbin was nestled against the end of the sofa cradling the album in his hands. Hakyeon had hesitated in letting Hongbin have a look at it, but ended up being very firm in his desire for Hongbin to see the photos. So, there Hongbin was, perusing them. He stopped again at the photo he’d laughed at earlier, of Taekwoon and Ravi grinning. Taekwoon’s long hair.  
  
He felt Taekwoon come closer before he saw him. He looked up, and Taekwoon was holding the DVD he’d come home with after work. His hair was still a little damp, for he’d just come out of the shower, and he shuffled in with slippers. “What’s that?” Taekwoon asked softly, leaning in over Hongbin’s shoulder.  
  
He heard Taekwoon inhale. “I haven’t seen this album in a long time.”  
  
“He let me look at it. There’s pictures of you in here.”  
  
Taekwoon hummed in interest, rounding the sofa. He put the DVD on the coffee table and settled beside Hongbin. The magic simmered between them, and Hongbin turned to kiss Taekwoon’s cheek. Taekwoon, obviously not satisfied, leant in again. They kissed properly, and once they had done so, Taekwoon hummed happily. Hongbin smiled at him and nestled against him.  
  
Taekwoon winded an arm around Hongbin’s lower back, hand resting on his hip. Hongbin, with his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder, pointed to the picture he and Hakyeon had been laughing at.  
  
“I was young,” Taekwoon pointed out softly. “So was Ravi.”  
  
“Didn’t you—grow up together?” Hongbin asked quietly, looking up at him. Taekwoon was frowning, just a little, staring at the photo of the both of them.  
  
“Yes,” he replied softly. “He was the head alpha of a pack of his own before he took over his father’s pack and merged them. I—I knew his father, and had left with him with some others to start a new pack of his own.”  
  
“You must have been close.”  
  
Taekwoon paused, and he turned the page. There were more photos of Taekwoon and Ravi. Taekwoon and Ravi both holding birds that they’d killed for dinner, and Taekwoon laughing because Ravi’s bird was much smaller than Taekwoon’s. Ravi looked comically miserable.  
  
“He was my best friend.”  
  
Hongbin looked up at Taekwoon, who had shed a tear. Hongbin’s heart fell. It had always been… Hakyeon, mourning Ravi, but… Ravi had been a big part of Taekwoon’s life too. Hongbin wondered if Taekwoon had ever had time to properly mourn him, since he had to look after Hakyeon.  
  
He supposed it was only a testament to how close Taekwoon and Ravi were for Ravi to entrust Taekwoon to keep Hakyeon safe if anything were ever to happen to him.  
  
Hongbin lifted his hand to cup Taekwoon’s cheek, and Taekwoon’s head turned to look at him. They kissed, slowly, and Taekwoon broke it to kiss Hongbin’s temple sweetly.  
  
Taekwoon tilted his head on Hongbin’s as he looked back down at the photos. “I miss him.”  
  
Hongbin took Taekwoon’s hand, entwining their fingers. “He must have been a great person to have been so loved.”  
  
Taekwoon just hummed, and turned the page. There were photos of just Taekwoon on this page that Ravi had taken. Some of which Taekwoon was glaring into the camera, and Hongbin laughed softly. In another, Taekwoon was stark naked, up in a tree.  
  
“What were you doing.”  
  
“Hunting,” Taekwoon said simply.  
  
“Naked? In a tree?”  
  
Taekwoon sighed. “I imagine I was in my wolf form earlier, and, when you leave your wolf form, you don’t have clothes. So I most likely transformed because wolves can’t climb trees.”  
  
Hongbin was smiling, and Taekwoon pinched Hongbin’s cheek grumpily.

 

“Whatchoo guys lookin at?”  
  
Taekwoon snapped the album shut, flinching. Sanghyuk was in his pajamas. Sanghyuk raised an eyebrow at Taekwoon’s jerky reaction, lips curling up in amusement. “Nothing,” Taekwoon replied defensively.  
  
Sanghyuk just snorted, and jumped onto the couch next to them. “If I’m going to watch a movie with you guys, you can’t make out or do that oogly eye thing.”  
  
Hongbin and Taekwoon blinked in unison. “Oogly eye thing?” Hongbin asked.  
  
“You both—you both stare into each other’s eyes for ages, it’s weird!” Sanghyuk exclaimed. “It’s gross, too!”  
  
Taekwoon laughed softly. “Alright.”  
  
Hongbin smirked, “you want to cuddle too, then?”  
  
Sanghyuk glowed red. “No!”  
  
Hongbin leant in, “I guess you’d rather cuddle with—“  
  
Sanghyuk’s face darkened, “don’t—“  
  
“Are you guys watching a movie?”  
  
Sanghyuk almost squeaked. He stared over the head of the sofa, and fairly shouted a, “no! We’re not! Go away!”  
  
Hakyeon squinted. He walked around the sofa and looked at the DVD. “ _Titanic?”_  
  
“Taekwoon likes it.”  
  
Taekwoon made a little squeak, and Hongbin nudged him.  
  
“I thought you said this was a _new_ movie,” Sanghyuk whined.  
  
“I said no such thing,” Hongbin replied breezily. “Want to watch it with us, Hakyeon?”  
  
Hongbin could feel Sanghyuk tense next to him. Hakyeon straightened, and glanced at Sanghyuk for a moment, before he shook his head. “No, I have work to do,” he replied, but Hongbin doubted it. Nothing that couldn’t wait for tomorrow, anyway. He nodded, though, since the reason to skip the movie was likely for Sanghyuk’s own sake. “Enjoy the movie, though.”

 

\--

 

By the time the movie ended, Taekwoon was laying across the length of the sofa. His head on Hongbin’s lap, his legs brought up in a foetal position as to give Sanghyuk space on the couch.  
  
Taekwoon had dozed off, and Hongbin ran his hands idly through his hair when the credits began to roll. He leant down to wake Taekwoon up, wary that Sanghyuk was likely watching him. They hadn’t kissed, barely cuddled or made out. Or ‘oogly eyed’ at each other. Hongbin was proud of himself, but a part of him missed Taekwoon desperately. He wanted to touch him, to kiss him. Seeing _Titanic_ and seeing how they had so terribly portrayed a soul-bond between Rose and Jack (there’s no way Rose would have been okay with letting Jack stay in the cold water) had them pinch their faces. It also made them realise how happy they both were, and how lucky they were to have each other. If it wasn’t for Sanghyuk, they might have simply gotten wrapped up in themselves instead of watching the movie.  
  
“Taek,” He said softly. “Movie’s over.”  
  
Taekwoon stirred, blinking wearily. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and blindly looked for Hongbin’s hand to take. “Bed time,” he murmured. Hongbin smiled fondly. He stood up, and Taekwoon followed suit, the gesture child-like as he followed him. Hongbin stopped and turned around, to see Sanghyuk looking up at him sleepily.  
  
“Goodnight, Sanghyuk,” he waved easily, and Taekwoon copied him, before they both went up the stairs together.  
  
Sanghyuk waited until he heard their bedroom door shut until he slid off the couch. He had wondered what they had been looking at since the very beginning, and was praying to the Gods that they’d leave the album on the coffee table. Which they did. They’d forgotten it.  
  
Sanghyuk opened it, expecting to see some kind of juicy goss in Taekwoon’s past. Maybe even something about being an alpha in the wild, but found something… very different. His shoulders slumped, and he gawked to see… photos of Hakyeon and Ravi kissing. Hugging. Eating together, laughing amongst themselves. Holding hands. Pictures of Hakyeon laughing and oh, Hakyeon looked so beautiful when he smiled without restraint. He saw Hakyeon’s fire, he saw his laughter, he saw Hakyeon with life inside of him. Hakyeon’s skin was darker, a shimmering gold as if it had been kissed by the sun. His hair was a dark brown, well-kept compared to Ravi’s. Some of the photos it had been cut very short, for Ravi didn’t seem the type to care much for his appearance. It looked as if his… only real concern was Hakyeon.  
  
The way Ravi looked at him… the way Hakyeon looked at Ravi… it made Sanghyuk tremble. It felt as if he was invading their privacy, seeing something much too intimate.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
Sanghyuk almost dropped the album. His jaw clenched, and he felt fear run through him. He heard footsteps, and flinched as Hakyeon grabbed the album from his hands.  
  
“That’s not for you to see.” Hakyeon’s voice was restrained, likely holding in the hurt where he could. His lips were a thin line, his eyes wide in warning.  
  
Sanghyuk stay where he was, kneeling on the ground. His eyes were apologetic when he looked up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it was a—“  
  
“Don’t lie to me,” Hakyeon snapped, and he tucked the album under his arm. Hakyeon was trembling, and Sanghyuk so desperately wanted to hold him until it stopped. Sanghyuk ducked his head, ashamed. He frowned, though, why was Hongbin allowed to see this? Why Hongbin of all people?  
  
Sanghyuk gritted his teeth, for a moment. “You let _Hongbin_ —“  
  
“The reason I let Hongbin see it is none of your business,” Hakyeon interrupted, and Sanghyuk slouched helplessly. He knew Hakyeon was right. “It is simply not for you to see.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk repeated quietly, much more sincere this time.  
  
Hakyeon chewed on his lip, biting back what he wanted to say. He forced himself to calm, breathing in slowly. Sanghyuk was having a really tough time lately, he knew, but he couldn’t just baby him. “Just… don’t snoop. I understand—that your situation is hard, but I just—don’t appreciate it.”  
  
Sanghyuk nodded, his face sullen. He’d fallen onto his bum, hugging his crossed legs. He heard Hakyeon sigh.  
  
“Make sure to get some sleep,” Hakyeon murmured. “Goodnight, Sanghyuk.”  
  
Sanghyuk didn’t say anything.  
  


\--

 

 

Hongbin couldn’t sleep. He found himself sitting up against the bedhead in his pajamas, picking the fluff of the blankets idly. He tried not to move around too much, for he knew Taekwoon was particularly sensitive to him even in sleep. There had been times Hongbin had waken up hungry, and gone into the kitchen for a midnight snack, to return to a distressed Taekwoon deliriously thinking his soul-mate had disappeared. It had taken gentle hushings and coercings to calm him. He had laid Taekwoon down onto the bed and entwined their limbs and kissed his skin.

 

Taekwoon was beside him now, sleeping. He could tell Taekwoon was getting a little restless. It was the way his eyebrows twitched, how the corners of his mouth pulled down. Hongbin slowly lifted his hand, resting on Taekwoon’s head before running his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair. The movement was slow, but Taekwoon stirred, and Hongbin could feel him shiver.  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes opened, squinting a little. It took a moment for him to adjust to the light emitting from the lamp on the bedside table. His voice was slurred with slumber, “Hongbin?”  
  
“Go back to sleep,” Hongbin murmured, hand returning to his lap. When Taekwoon only frowned, Hongbin attempted to smile. “It’s alright, I’m just – _Taekwoon.”_  

Taekwoon slowly sat up, his movements drunk, face pinched from the light. Hongbin sighed exasperatedly when Taekwoon slumped against the bedhead, mimicking Hongbin.  
  
“Tell me what is on your mind,” Taekwoon asked softly, his hand resting on Hongbin’s thigh. It was meant to be a comforting, sweet gesture, but Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered at the feeling. His heat wasn’t in effect yet, nor was he feeling feverish, but… Hongbin sighed. He swallowed.  
  
“Nothing is on my mind,” Hongbin grumbled, though one small glance at Taekwoon and he immediately looked away. Taekwoon was only staring at him pointedly. He breathed deep, and gave a non-committal shrug. “I’ve just been thinking about… about us, I guess.”  
  
“Us?” Taekwoon repeated, his voice so sweet. It was curious, patient and weary. Hongbin looked over at him, studying his expression. Taekwoon was beautiful. Even like this, the dim orange light feathering against his skin, his wisps of hair, his cheeks full from sleep. His eyes… oh, his eyes. Eyes were the window to the soul, and Hongbin could see the two of theirs in Taekwoon’s gaze. He felt safe, looking into them. Taekwoon provided a sanctuary with mere eye contact.  
  
“Yeah,” Hongbin leant over, and kissed him. Hongbin began gentle, loving, though became slowly more desperate, passionate. Taekwoon was left bewildered when he broke away, but happily so. His hand clutched Hongbin’s pajama shirt. “Us,” Hongbin repeated breathlessly. Taekwoon was looking at him as if Hongbin was the only thing he had ever known.  
  
Taekwoon’s stare dropped to Hongbin’s mouth, and leant in to kiss him again. Hongbin smiled against Taekwoon’s lips, kissing over and over, time forgotten. Taekwoon’s lips dragged across Hongbin’s cheek, pressing lingering kisses down his face, across his jaw. Taekwoon’s face dipped down, parting his lips, leaving open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Hongbin moaned, his hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder, nails curling against his back when Taekwoon nipped the skin. “Taekwoon,” He breathed, shrinking back so Taekwoon broke away, looking up. “I’ve been thinking,” Hongbin began, his face flushed, “I—I think I’m ready.”  
  
Taekwoon was quiet, staring at Hongbin. He slowly raised his hand, cupping Hongbin’s cheek. Hongbin’s face softened, eyes closing briefly when Taekwoon’s thumb caressed his face, his fingers slipping into his hair. “Yeah?”  
  
Hongbin leant in, nuzzling Taekwoon’s palm. He leant forward, and slowly took Taekwoon’s thumb in his mouth, suckling against it. Taekwoon’s breath hitched, and Hongbin broke away. “Yeah,” he whispered.  
  
Taekwoon stared, eyes wide and lovely. “Now?”  
  
Hongbin leant against Taekwoon’s hand, and he laughed softly, his eyes sparkling in the soft light. “Yeah.”  
  
Taekwoon cradled Hongbin’s face with both hands now, and kissed Hongbin. Hongbin laughed breathlessly, and Taekwoon scooted back, settling in between Hongbin’s legs. He took Hongbin’s legs and pulled him down playfully, and Hongbin slid down onto the cushions with a small shriek. Taekwoon leant down and kissed him, though they were both trying not to laugh. Taekwoon nuzzled his cheek. “Don’t make too much noise, the others will hear.”  
  
“Don’t make me think of them when I’m in bed with you,” Hongbin chided, pushing at Taekwoon’s chest lightly. Taekwoon laughed under his breath against Hongbin’s skin, and the sound went straight to his cock. They both felt the arousal, for they shivered at the same time.  
  
“Can you—“  
  
“Yes,” Taekwoon was already grabbing Hongbin’s shirt by the hem. He pulled it over his head and Hongbin gasped as he did so. “Help me—“  
  
Hongbin was already lifting his hips before Taekwoon pulled Hongbin’s pants down, along with his underwear. He threw them to the side. Hongbin, now naked, stared up at Taekwoon who hovered over him. Taekwoon’s eyes were intense, but full of adoration. They kissed softly, and Taekwoon ran his hands against Hongbin’s sides who arched his back. Taekwoon cradled him in his arms, and their mouths were warm and slow. Taekwoon broke away slowly, their lips dragging against each other briefly. Hongbin looked into Taekwoon’s eyes, and the soul-bond fluttered, made him feel hot, affectionate, and so at peace. Hongbin had never felt more alive, yet more safe.  
  
“Are you sure?” Taekwoon’s voice whispered. Hongbin’s face softened, and he lifted his hand. His knuckles caressed Taekwoon’s cheek slowly.  
  
“There’s nothing I want more.”  
  
Taekwoon took Hongbin’s hand, and kissed his knuckles. His eyes closed, his eyebrows pinched, his mouth lingered. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Hongbin’s heart felt like it was about to burst.  
  
Taekwoon leant back down, and kissed Hongbin’s claim mark, and then down, down, down, kissing his collarbone, his chest, his nipple. Hongbin gasped when Taekwoon swirled his tongue around it, and nuzzled his sternum. Taekwoon’s hand lowered, and began to palm Hongbin, the motions rhythmic and gentle. Hongbin tensed, then relaxed. Taekwoon hushed him when Hongbin began to make little noises, head tilting back against the pillow. His thighs spread. It felt good.

 

“Please,” Hongbin wailed breathlessly, and Taekwoon was more than happy to oblige. Taekwoon shuffled over to the bedside table, pulling it open for the lube, and returned to settle between his legs.  
  
Taekwoon had been imagining this for so long. The thought of Hongbin, beautiful and willing and flustered, underneath him like this. His hair strewn across his face, soft cheeks flushed. Taekwoon swallowed, and his moment of admiration brought such a swell of magic that he felt himself almost zone out to everything else.  
  
It was just Hongbin. That’s all he cared about. It’s all he needed. Nothing else mattered. Hongbin was the sun, and Taekwoon found himself in an inescapable orbit.

 

“Taek,” Hongbin pulled Taekwoon back, and Taekwoon apologized gently. Hongbin was looking down, eyes fond but worried. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Mm,” Taekwoon nodded, and shuffled closer. He leant down and kissed Hongbin’s sternum. Their magic erupted through them, like a swarm of butterflies. He couldn’t help but smile. “I’m so happy.”  
  
“I trust you,” Hongbin murmured. He blinked slowly. “I love you.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face softened, and then turned to coat his fingers with lube. “I’ll go slow,” he promised gently. Hongbin hummed in assent.  
  
Taekwoon leant down, and slowly pushed his finger into Hongbin’s entrance. Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered, and he gasped at the feeling, his thighs trembling. Taekwoon’s other hand took Hongbin’s, entwining their fingers.  
  
“Squeeze if it hurts,” he whispers, “and I’ll slow.”  
  
Hongbin immediately took solace in it, and squeezed gently in acknowledgement. Taekwoon had began to slowly move in and out, and Hongbin kept making small noises. Taekwoon leant over and kissed his mouth gently, and after a while, pushed in the second finger. Hongbin squeezed his hand, and his toes curled.  
  
Taekwoon couldn’t help but to smile, his hand slipped away from Hongbin’s in order to pin down his squirming hips, hushing him gently. He ran his palms over Hongbin’s hipbones, down his thigh.  
  
“I’ve got you,” Taekwoon whispered. Hongbin stilled, and his eyelashes fluttered. Taekwoon pulled out slowly, gauging for a reaction, and Hongbin’s thighs twitched. He could feel Hongbin warming up under his ministrations, his cock growing harder.  
  
He supposed this would be accelerating his heat, so perhaps Hongbin was even more sensitive than usual. Taekwoon bit his lip, and pushed back in again, a little faster, and Hongbin’s hips rose. His moan was delicious.  
  
“Can I--?”  
  
“Please,” Hongbin’s voice was needy, bordering on a whine, and Taekwoon added a third finger. He pushed right in. It was easy, and Hongbin was ready for him. Taekwoon shuddered. He fucked him with three fingers until Hongbin was fisting the bed-sheets, sweat beading on his chest, his cock hard and curling. “T-Taekwoon, Taekwoon—“  
  
Taekwoon pulled out, and Hongbin made a sound of protest. He hushed him gently, and slipped closer. Taekwoon’s hand returned to Hongbin’s before the tip of Taekwoon’s cock pressed against Hongbin’s entrance. Hongbin stilled, his eyes glazed over. Taekwoon’s hips rolled into Hongbin; one, delicious stroke. Hongbin cried out, a shaky sound, and slowly arched his back.

 

 Taekwoon leant over. He gathered Hongbin in his arms, laying on top of him, his head nestling against Hongbin’s shoulder, his neck. He pushed until all of him was inside, holding Hongbin tight.  
  
Hongbin moaned, the feeling of Taekwoon’s weight on him, his cock inside him. Hongbin hugged his head, breathing deep, the feeling indescribable. The magic had put him on a high, and his thighs trembled. Taekwoon took a moment before his hips slowly pulled back, going half way before fucking into him again. The movement was neither rough or gentle, and had Hongbin squirming and gasping for more. Taekwoon held him tighter and began to move, the motion rhythmic, but some thrusts were harder than others.  
  
“Taek—“ Hongbin whined, wriggling his hips. His face was flushed red to his ears, and Taekwoon managed to sit up. It was surreal to see how affected Taekwoon looked too, his lips glossy and his eyes a little glazed. It was almost animalistic, like there was the wolf present, though there was no mistaking the amount of love Hongbin felt from the gaze. Taekwoon had stilled, and the moment gave time for Hongbin to breathe, to swallow. He lay his hands either side of him, palms facing up.  
  
Taekwoon wordlessly understood, and entwined their fingers together, bracketing Hongbin with his arms.  
  
“I wanted to see you, as you fuck me,” Hongbin whispered, and Taekwoon leant down, kissing his lips softly before his hips rolled further in. Hongbin gasped, spreading his legs more to accommodate him. Taekwoon sat up again, and his stare made Hongbin fall apart as he began to fuck into him, deep and slow and loving. Hongbin couldn’t stop staring at the line of his hips, the way Taekwoon’s face pinched when he pushed in. Hongbin was trembling, his cock was aching. It felt so good, so good, so good. He didn’t think he’d be able to last long like this.  
  
Taekwoon’s hips fucked into him quicker, the movements sharper than before, and Hongbin gave a small cry. He squeezed Taekwoon’s hands. Their eyes met, and Taekwoon’s eyes were heavy-lidded, and he bit his lip. Taekwoon fucked into him again, this time a little slower.  
  
“Touch me,” Hongbin begged softly. He was trembling; bordering on overstimulation. “I want to come.”  
  
One of Taekwoon’s hands slipped away, and curled around Hongbin’s cock, pumping him slow, not fast enough.  
  
“No,” Hongbin protested, and almost cried of frustration when Taekwoon stopped all together. “No—No, just—faster, please,” his hips squirmed, and he blearily glared at Taekwoon when he heard him laugh under his breath. Taekwoon’s thumb rubbed over Hongbin’s tip, spreading the precum over the head, before Taekwoon fucked into him again. Hongbin writhed, head tilting back, before Taekwoon finally gave him what he wanted. Taekwoon’s hands tugged quick, and drove his hips into him. The pace was fast, almost relentless, and Hongbin felt the magic swell to a point it became unbearable, before it exploded around them. Hongbin scrunched his face at the feeling and moaned, loud and deep, his thighs spreading.  
  
Hongbin felt hot very quick, and a shudder washed across his body. Taekwoon fucked into him, and Hongbin now cried out with every thrust, feeling boneless, delirious. His heat had come, and Hongbin was now panting heavily, squirming. He felt Taekwoon shudder, slowing for a moment before he registered what was happening, eyes wide.  
  
“Hongbin—“  
  
“T-Taek,” Hongbin gasped, his hips twisted, attempting to try and fuck himself on Taekwoon’s cock. “Taek—please—I need—“  
  
“Are you sure?” Taekwoon sounded so broken; the magic was unbearable, wanting him to succumb to the magic, to what they both so obviously wanted.  
  
“Fuck me,” Hongbin almost growled, and Taekwoon shuddered. He closed his eyes briefly, re-adjusting himself, before he rolled his hips up into him, and Hongbin’s voice broke. The magic was almost suffocating, and Taekwoon fell into Hongbin’s chest again.  
  
Hongbin’s nails scratched desperately against Taekwoon’s back as Taekwoon fucked into him fast, unrelenting,  Hongbin’s eyes glazed with ecstasy.  
  
“Come for me,” Taekwoon growled into his neck. Taekwoon grabbed Hongbin’s cock between them, jerking him off in time with his thrusts. Hongbin wailed, eyes squeezed shut. “Come, darling, come.”  
  
He was smiling when Taekwoon pushed him over the edge, come shooting onto Taekwoon’s front. The waves of orgasm had Hongbin delirious, eyelashes fluttering. It felt like he was floating in space, but then Taekwoon squeezed his hand and he was brought back. His cheeks were kissed, his forehead, and Hongbin whimpered.  
  
Taekwoon kept thrusting, though much more gentle, and Hongbin weakly met his thrusts to help him come.  
  
“I love you,” Hongbin confessed helplessly. He looked up. “I love you, I love you, I—“  
  
Taekwoon had leant down and kissed him as he came. The feeling was delicious until he felt Taekwoon start to swell, buried inside. He gasped, coming back and clinging to him. Taekwoon was locked inside, whimpering and panting, and every little move had Hongbin hiss in pain.  
  
“Darling,” Hongbin whispered, tilting his face down to kiss Taekwoon’s forehead. “darling, are you alright?”  
  
Taekwoon was heavy against him, and he moved, moments lethargic. Hongbin hissed when Taekwoon shifted, propping himself up on his elbows. Their eyes met, and Hongbin attempted to curl forward to kiss Taekwoon’s swollen mouth. Taekwoon’s eyes were glazed; the fact that his knot had locked inside his soul-mate had him in a state of ecstasy.  
  
“My alpha,” Hongbin whispers fondly, “do I feel good?”  
  
Taekwoon blinked, and it took a few moments to register. He smiled, the expression sleepy. He hummed happily, and leant down to kiss Hongbin’s chest, where his heart was.  
  
“I love you,” Taekwoon murmured ardently against it. Taekwoon shifted his hips further in, impossibly deeper, and Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered. Taekwoon had come again, and Hongbin tilted his head back onto the pillow, sighing in pleasure.  
  
After a few moments, the magic began to settle into a calm sea, and Taekwoon’s knot lessened until he was finally able to pull out. They both sighed in unison, and Taekwoon flopped bonelessly onto Hongbin’s chest. Hongbin laughed aloud, cradling Taekwoon in his arms. It was such a lovely sight to see Taekwoon laughing too. The magic was so happy, and they were both blissed out.  
  
They cuddled for some time, before Taekwoon sat up and kissed Hongbin quickly. “Your heat has come,” Taekwoon points out simply. Hongbin nods, and Taekwoon runs his hand down Hongbin’s side, watching how he shivers, feeling how feverish his skin was. “Lets have a bath.”  
  
Hongbin smiled, shuffling closer and burying himself against Taekwoon’s chest. Taekwoon laughed softly. He could feel Hongbin’s lucidity drifting with the heat. He picked him up, and carried him over to the bath.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! thank you so much for reading! as always, comments are my favourite thing in the world!!
> 
> if there is anything you'd like to ask me about BONDS, whether it be the characters or the universe itself, you can ask me on ask.fm/xfaunalyn


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just face it, Sanghyuk, that you’ve obviously fallen for the wrong person—“
> 
> Sanghyuk made a distressed noise, “if it wasn’t for him, you’d be interested!”

Taekwoon woke up to wet kisses trailing up his neck. He moaned softly under his breath before it hitched. His arms were still circled around Hongbin from the night before, but Hongbin had turned in them. Hongbin was so warm, needy, feverish, and had been so content sleeping as the little spoon.  
  
Taekwoon was still delirious when he was pressed against the bed. He felt Hongbin’s weight on him then, and Taekwoon’s eyelashes fluttered open. Hongbin’s body was scalding, and Hongbin was whimpering softly. Taekwoon groaned when Hongbin ground his hips against him. “H-Hongbin,” he gasped, strangled. He flipped them over, pressing Hongbin against the mattress, who squirmed in his hold.  
  
“Hongbin,” Taekwoon said again, looking into his eyes. Hongbin was like a threatened animal, eyes wide and fearful, panting heavily. Taekwoon breathed in, letting the magic flow. He saw Hongbin shudder, his eyes blink back into lucidity. It was so wonderful what the soul-bond could do. Just by transferring their magic. Their love.  
  
“Taek,” Hongbin said softly, and Taekwoon leant down and kissed him. Hongbin moaned against his mouth, melting into the touch. When Taekwoon broke away, Hongbin stared up at him. “It feels awful,” he complained.  
  
Taekwoon cupped his face, and then touched his forehead. He chewed on his bottom lip, as his eyes trailed down to Hongbin’s cock. It was already hard, a swollen red. His eyes returned to Hongbin, whose cheeks were flushed. He lowered his hand, and as soon as he touched Hongbin’s cock, Hongbin hissed, his hips pressing into Taekwoon’s hand. Taekwoon hushed him gently, curling his fingers gingerly around his cock, slowly moving his hand up and down.  
  
“I-I don’t want—just your hand, I can’t—I want… I want your…” Hongbin whined brokenly, looking so lovely against the bed sheets. His eyelashes were wet with tears, his lips swollen, his cheeks flushed. Taekwoon watched as he panted and wriggled. Hongbin was so beautiful, and just as much on the inside. He smiled softly, and leant in to kiss his cheek. “Taekwoon,” Hongbin wailed softly.  
  
“I know, darling,” Taekwoon replied, “but the others are likely awake, and I know you will be mortified at the thought of them hearing when your heat is over.”  
  
“I don’t care,” Hongbin retorted, wriggling his hips. He wanted Taekwoon to go faster.  
  
“You will, later,” Taekwoon promised, his face softening. Hongbin’s heat was thick in the air, and it made Taekwoon shudder. He felt the wolf prickle, still a little lazy with sleep. “We can’t stay here, we should go to your place.”  
  
Hongbin made a little sound of protest, though it quickly turned into a soft cry when Taekwoon moved his hand faster. It wasn’t long before he came, and Taekwoon left him briefly to get a wash cloth. He returned to Hongbin sitting up since the heat magic had lessened. It was only the beginning of the heat, and Hongbin was frowning to himself. He took the washcloth from Taekwoon’s hand and shuddered when he cleaned himself up. Taekwoon sat beside him on the bed. “I hate this,” Hongbin mumbled.  
  
Taekwoon hummed, and he leant in, kissing his cheek. “I know you do,” he whispered against his hair. “But you’re not suffering alone.”  
  
Hongbin turned to look at Taekwoon, and Taekwoon knew he must have looked like a sap. He smiled coyly and looked away.  
  
“What?” Hongbin squinted, though there was no mistaking the instinctual lean towards him. Taekwoon pressed closer, leaning on one hand that lay behind Hongbin.  
  
“Last night,” Taekwoon asked softly, as if they were in a room full of people and he only wished for Hongbin to hear. “Where did that come from?”  
  
Hongbin looked up at him, a little surprised. Now, Hongbin looked coy, and his eyes darted away. He ran his hands up his biceps bashfully. “I dunno, just… lately I’ve been so… hesitant about it. And… spending time with you, and talking to Hakyeon and… even watching the Titanic with you last night. I guess it accumulated and it just felt right, in that moment.”  
  
Hongbin sounded so unsure of himself. Taekwoon rested a hand on his thigh, caressing the bare skin with his thumb. He loved it when Hongbin wore nothing but a shirt to bed. He looked so pretty. Taekwoon hummed thoughtfully, and Hongbin raised his head to look at him again, eyes searching.  
  
“Did I… do good?” He asked meekly, and Taekwoon blinked. He laughed under his breath, and leant in closer. Their magic fluttered like butterfly wings against their skin when Taekwoon nuzzled his nose against Hongbin’s. The gesture was so intimate yet cheesy it had Hongbin laughing and pushing Taekwoon away, hands against his chest. They were both laughing, caught up in each other, and Hongbin leant in and kissed him.  
  
Taekwoon broke away to caress his cheek, and Hongbin leant into the touch. Hongbin was still very warm, but Taekwoon smiled. “You did wonderfully.”  
  


“Where’s Hongbin and Taekwoon?” Jaehwan asked. Hakyeon was sitting at the kitchen, hunched over a bowl of cereal looking at his phone. He looked up to see Jaehwan and Sanghyuk.  
  
“At Hongbin’s apartment. Hongbin’s heat has hit. I saw them leave.” He smiled reassuringly when Jaehwan frowned with concern.  
  
“Will they be okay?” Jaehwan asked, pressing his lips together. “Should I buy them anything? Bring them something?”  
  
“I—no, that’s a bad idea,” Jaehwan didn’t need to see how affected two soul-mates during a heat cycle were like. Hakyeon shook his head, a knee-jerk reaction. “No, I’m bringing them some things today, there’s no need to worry.”  
  
There was a pause, and Hakyeon added, “are you two going to work?”  
  
Sanghyuk looked away when Jaehwan grinned, patting Sanghyuk on the back. “Sure are! We’ll be back in the afternoon.”  
  
Hakyeon watched them leave together, and sighed, rubbing his temples. He looked back at his phone – his shopping list he’d written – for Hongbin and Taekwoon. Hongbin would need a better barrier for his heat, now that he was soulbonded, and especially since he lived in an apartment building. They likely needed food, too, something that didn’t require much cooking, since… neither of them would probably want to leave the bed. Hakyeon knew he certainly hadn’t. The thought had him zone out, the words blurring from his vision. He still saw his face so clearly, like he’d never left. It was like a ghost etched into the back of his eyelids. It took a few minutes for Hakyeon to shake himself from the path, grimacing as he did so.  
  
It seemed cruel, for the most important living person in his life to have a soulbond. To be the person to look over them and guide the partner. It ached, as did their magic; Hakyeon’s own yearned for it. He was happy for Taekwoon, he was, but… why did misery follow him? After how diligently he worshipped the Gods, they’d forsaken him. He’d promised himself to never dance to them again, so they knew how angry he was, yet he also promised Hongbin to show him a dance.  
  
Hakyeon groaned.  
  
  
  
  
Sanghyuk squinted at the customer. _If she wanted a soy latte she should have said she wanted it with soy._ Since she had been very adamant that it was his fault – though really Sanghyuk thought she was trying to take advantage of his _trainee_ badge – Sanghyuk had to give her a refund, but he didn’t really know how. And that sucked, since Jaehwan was on break.  
  
He excused himself from the lady, swinging open the back-door where Jaehwan sat on a crate, looking at his phone and eating an old pastry. He looked up at the noise, a bit of pastry falling from his lips. “Did you break something?”  
  
“No,” Sanghyuk snapped, crossing his arms. “Lady insists I got the order wrong and is demanding a refund.”  
  
“Ah,” Jaehwan wiped his mouth, putting his pastry down delicately before walking out to the counter. Sanghyuk watched him smile apologetically and pop the till open, refunding her without a hitch. The lady seemed mildly surprised, but very pleased, leaving with her daughter. He then takes out his phone again, and goes to walk past Sanghyuk to go back to his break, but Sanghyuk eyes the screen for a brief second.  
  
Sanghyuk jumps, swabbing the phone out of Jaehwan’s hands. Jaehwan spluttered, spinning around to see Sanghyuk grin wolfishly at the screen.  
  
“Oh _man_ ,” Sanghyuk begins, flicking through. “I thought only old people used these kinds of websites.”  
  
Jaehwan was glowering red, and went to get it back, but Sanghyuk was much taller and stronger. “It’s not of your business—“  
  
“I thought you were asexual?” Sanghyuk blinked, looking back down at Jaehwan. Jaehwan managed to grab the phone back from him,  holding it to his chest. “What are you on a dating website for?”  
  
Jaehwan swallowed, “just because I’m asexual doesn’t mean I—I don’t like the idea of a relationship, I’ve told you about this,” he looked meekly down at his phone, and then away. “It’s none of your business, anyway—“  
  
Sanghyuk frowned, and he crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. “Wouldn’t the people be on there… not be asexual, though?”  
  
Jaehwan wasn’t looking at him, and instead found a spot between his toes to fixate at. “Some are.”  
  
Sanghyuk pursed his lips. It was obvious what he was thinking, and Jaehwan didn’t want to hear it. “It’s none of your business.”  
  
“I just—“ Sanghyuk sighed, and went to reach out for him, “Jaehwan, I don’t want to see you get hurt—“  
  
“Shut up,” Jaehwan moved away from Sanghyuk’s hand. “It has nothing to do with you, Sanghyuk. You should never have taken my phone in the first place you – you should go home early, today.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s face fell.

 

 

 

 

 

Hakyeon, pushing a trolley, meandered through the aisles. He was taking his time, since only the Gods knew how Hongbin and Taekwoon were doing. He sighed, looking down at his phone for the next item. Canned soup. He rubbed his eyes, and yawned. He’d been woken up last night by them. Luckily, Hakyeon had noise-cancelling headphones – in hindsight, a great future investment – but the broken sleep was always awful. He felt a lot older in moments like this, or perhaps simply since the soul bond he’s never felt spritely.  
  
He reached the canned soup, staring at the different labels. He didn’t know what kind of soup Hongbin liked, but he knew Taekwoon liked anything with chicken, so he grabbed that one. Eyes scanning the brands, Hakyeon found one and picked it up without thinking.

  
  
Ravi’s calloused fingers worked the knife, slicing open the can with a terrible, grating sound. Hakyeon watched him put it in one of the pots, and hung it over one of their fires along with the rest. Ravi’s smile was wide, his eyes reflected the flames.  
  
“Dujun, you’re a gem,” he smiled up at the man, who gave him a thumbs up before taking his own pot and walking over to another fire. Most wolves were happy to let the Head Alpha and the Head Omega have their own.  
  
“Did he go to the town?” Hakyeon asked casually. He had a dead bird over his lap, and he was plucking the feathers. It was one of Ravi’s kills, and Hakyeon much preferred fresh meat then anything canned. Anything from the city. It all tasted too manufactured.  
  
Ravi’s heavy gaze drifted from the fire back to Hakyeon’s. The eye contact sent shivers up his spine, the magic spiralling inside like a whirlpool. “Mm,” was all Ravi replied with, his face softening. “He got me my favourite. Beef—“  
  
“The beef with the vegetable mix,” Hakyeon finished for him. He smiled, and looked back down to the bird. “I know, don’t worry.”  
  
Ravi shifted closer. His presence induced goose bumps on Hakyeon’s skin. Hakyeon looked back at him with a mischievous little smile, before quickly stealing a kiss. Ravi only smiled, leaning in. They both laughed, the magic making them giddy.  
  
His face was so warm as it pressed into Hakyeon’s shoulder. Ravi left a lingering kiss on Hakyeon’s collarbone. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to taste the duck too.” He looked up, giving Hakyeon a bit of a dopey, love-stuck grin that Hakyeon loved all too much. He leant in, and kissed him, and they only broke away when Ravi remembered his soup was likely burning.

 

“Hey, Hakyeon?”

  
  
Hakyeon dropped the canned soup, hearing it clatter to the ground. The sound felt delayed, as if it should have happened a few seconds ago, and he looked down to see someone pick it up for him.  
  
He blinked to see Wonshik hand it back to him gently. Hakyeon shook his head, and swallowed dryly. “Oh, no, I—I don’t want it.”  
  
“Really? You were looking at it very intently,” Wonshik’s voice was so gentle, despite the light teasing. Hakyeon offered a small little smile, and shook his head. He slid the can to sit with the rest of the others. “No, I—I was never a fan of this. It was… it was someone else’s.”  
  
Wonshik nodded, immediately understanding. He then regarded Hakyeon for a moment, like a psychologist might to a patient, and Hakyeon stared up at him curiously. “You go to this store?”  
  
Wonshik was obviously shaken out of his thoughts. “Well—yeah, it’s the the biggest store in the city…” He laughed nervously, and then cleared his throat. Hakyeon noticed Wonshik had miscellaneous house supplies in his basket. Light bulbs, some dish towels, even some cleaning supplies.  
  
“Of course. I’ve been starting to come here because to bulk buy it’s so cheap,” Hakyeon smiled, “getting ready to move out?”  
  
Wonshik looked shy again. He tilted his head to the side, “I think it’s better to be safe than sorry.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded at that, and the end of the conversation seemed a little awkward. They both stood there, finding something to say.  
  
“Hey, uh, Hakyeon…”  
  
“Yeah?” Hakyeon hated how hopeful he sounded. Wonshik had such a similar deep tone to his voice. It was how Ravi used to talk.  
  
“If you… ever want to, I don’t know, get out of the house…” Wonshik’s nose scrunched, realising that could have been taken the wrong way. “I mean, you seem to have a lot of… your house—“  
  
“A lot of my house?”  
  
Wonshik sighed. “What I’m trying to say is, if your house ever gives you too many bad memories or something and you want to escape—or something, for a while, I’m only a message away.”  
  
Hakyeon blinked. It took a moment to realise what Wonshik was offering; a change of scenery. A way to keep his mind off or clear his head. He looked away, considering it for a moment. He sighed. “It sounds nice, to be honest,” it would be good for him, he thought. He wondered if going somewhere with Wonshik was a good idea, though.  
  
His hesitation must have been obvious, since Wonshik spoke up, “it doesn’t have to be a split decision – just, whenever the need hits. If it hits. No pressure, or anything.”  
  
“Thank you, Wonshik,” Hakyeon murmured. “I appreciate it. But I—I should really keep going. Taekwoon and Hongbin are going through heat now so I have to – get supplies.”  
  
“Ah,” Wonshik’s eyes widened in realisation. “Of course, so that means the camping will be in about, uh, two weeks, or so?”  
  
“Yes, we just have to give the two some buffer days for the heat to wean off, and then we will head off.”    
  
“Sounds good,” Wonshik gave a little smile that made Hakyeon’s heart ache. Not because he looked like Ravi, but because he looked so hopeful. What if everyone decided it was a bad idea, and Wonshik couldn’t stay? He seemed like a nice person. He really did. Wonshik broke him out of his thought when he tapped Hakyeon on the shoulder. “I’ll leave you be. Remember my offer, okay?”  
  
Hakyeon nodded, watching him leave. He sighed and looked back at the canned soup.  
  
“I’m sorry Ravi,” he whispered.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hakyeon stood outside Hongbin’s door. It hadn’t taken very long to find the apartment. It seemed a very average student accommodation. He knocked again, and thought to himself that he was glad to buy a new heat barrier. He could smell them from here, on the other side, so he could only imagine how it would rouse a nearby Alpha.

 

He knocked again, and the door swung open. Taekwoon looked like he had returned from the wild. Shirtless, with an obvious pair of pants pulled on for somewhat decency, his hair sticking up in all directions. If Hakyeon hadn’t been from the wild, there was no doubt he would have been embarrassed. Instead, he pushed past with his groceries.  
  
“I got you food that takes you little time to prepare,” he began easily, placing the bags on the kitchen counter. He started with the frozen food, slotting it in quickly. Taekwoon was watching him like a hawk, and Hakyeon didn’t miss the tremors in his hands. Hakyeon was in an Alpha’s territory while his soulmate was in heat. _Vulnerable._ Taekwoon’s wolf was obviously upset that there was someone in the house, not to mention he was itching to get back to Hongbin.  
  
Hakyeon wasn’t threatened, though, and continued, “I also got you some canned soup, some vegetables and fruit, and goodness, Taekwoon, why didn’t you think to buy a better barrier? I can smell you _both_ from outside.”

Hakyeon hit Taekwoon’s chest with the packaged barrier. Taekwoon had an almost cute, delayed response as he took it from Hakyeon, and turned robotically to go hang the new one on the back of the front door.  
  
“Unpackage it first, Taekwoon,” Hakyeon sighed, calling out. He heard Taekwoon growl at himself, and a loud rip of plastic packaging. Hakyeon smiled to himself.  
  
“Hakyeon? Did you get us things?”  
  
Hakyeon looked up to see Hongbin. He was flushed, and had also put on clothes for decency, though he was wearing his sweater back to front. Hakyeon smiled gently, though knew not to approach him. “I did, I know neither of you are fit to get your own groceries.”  
  
“Oh, thank you. I’m hungry.”  
  
 Taekwoon was already by his side, had a protective hold around his waist. They both looked beautiful in heat; they both glowed. Ravi had always told him it was when Hakyeon radiated the most, and now he could see why.  
  
Hongbin took a step forward, and Taekwoon twitched. Hongbin took an apple from one of the bags, and Taekwoon was quick to pull him back. Hongbin went to glare at him, but as soon as their eyes met Hongbin slumped, and forgot the apple. He then looked away, blushing a little.  
  
“Um, Hakyeon—I’m sorry could you—“ Hakyeon only smiled, and had to look away. Hongbin hadn’t even looked at Hakyeon when he said it, and he knew it was neither of their fault. Their heat was when the wolves were the strongest, _unbearably_ so. Especially for a first heat as a soulbonded couple.  
  
“Of course, I’ll take my leave now,” Hakyeon replied quietly, and left. He closed the door behind him, and was glad that the barrier was now blocking them out, since Hakyeon couldn’t take it anymore.  
  
He slumped against the door, and slid down onto the welcome mat. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, and yet it felt like he was breathing too much. Their magic was so unbearably strong it felt like for a moment his own soul mistook it for something else. For his own. He felt ill; to only literally have half his soul and then suddenly tricked to feel like he had more made him want to throw up. He’d been living at half capacity for so long, and at these moments it hurt the most.

 

 

 

  
Hakyeon closed the front door behind him and locked it. It was quiet. The house seemed so empty now that Taekwoon and Hongbin were gone. Sure, if anything, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk were the loudest, but not having Taekwoon in the house for long periods was jarring. There had been no one but them for so long.  
  
He sighed, kicking his shoes off and lugging the rest of the groceries to the kitchen. He let them rest on the bench, before taking out the frozen supplies and dumping them into the freezer. It almost didn’t fit. Maybe they’d need to get a bigger fridge. He stared at it in thought, and sighed. They’d definitely have to buy one if Wonshik moves in. There’s hardly enough room for five people. Maybe Jaehwan has one in the back of the café he doesn’t use. Small miracles.  
  
He turned back around, to see Sanghyuk looking through the bags. He took out a bag of crisps, read the flavour, and opened it. Hakyeon gaped. Sanghyuk looked up at him, taking the first few crisps into his mouth. “What,” he asked pointedly.  
  
“Is your very aim for the past week to piss me off?” Hakyeon asked sharply. “What are you doing home, anyway? I thought you had work.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s eyes widened, and rustled the bag incredulously. “Jaehwan let me off early, also I’m eating a bag of crisps how does _that_ anger you?”  
  
“They’re Taekwoon’s,” Hakyeon replied curtly. Sanghyuk ate more crisps with a pointed glare. Hakyeon hissed. He wondered what Sanghyuk had done for Jaehwan to ask him to go home. It surely wasn’t because they weren’t busy enough.  
  
“So what? He can’t afford another?”  
  
Hakyeon willed himself to calm. “Everyone writes down what they want on the list, you didn’t put those crisps. You didn’t pay for them.”  
  
Sanghyuk groaned, tilting his head back. “They’re just fucking _chips!_ I’m hungry.” To Hakyeon, Sanghyuk felt like an intolerable boy of his early teens. He scowled, massaging his temples.   
  
“Sanghyuk, you are a part of a pack. You can’t eat the Head Alpha’s food.”  
  
Sanghyuk pinched his nose, obviously displeased by this idea. “I swear you just make up pack rules as you go to benefit you.”  
  
Hakyeon glared up at him. There was a pause, and Hakyeon swallowed. Sanghyuk’s face had gotten very close, and he hadn’t realised until now. Hakyeon was still simmering, staring into Sanghyuk’s eyes.  
  
“Don’t let your frustration towards me affect the others. They have nothing to do with your petty tantrum.”  
  
“It’s not a tantrum!” Sanghyuk retorted, his voice pitching.  
  
“Then what is it?”  
  
“It’s—it’s—“  
  
“Just face it, Sanghyuk, that you’ve obviously fallen for the wrong person—“  
  
Sanghyuk made a distressed noise, “if it wasn’t for him, you’d be interested!”  
  
“If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have met—“  
  
“You keep living in the past, Hakyeon! How are you ever supposed to get better?”  
  
“Please tell me how I am supposed to get over him when half of my soul is _literally_ six feet under!”  
  
Sanghyuk pushed Hakyeon up against the fridge, the motion not violent, but controlling. Hakyeon willed himself to calm, and he looked up into Sanghyuk’s eyes again. He only saw the wolf, upset and threatened. His face was so close, and Hakyeon’s head thunked against the fridge when Sanghyuk pressed impossibly closer. Sanghyuk’s face was beautiful, high cheekbones, petal lips.  
  
“You take risks,” Sanghyuk murmured.  
  
Sanghyuk kissed him.

 

Sanghyuk’s lips were warm, insistent, soft. Hakyeon was too alarmed to think about pulling away or kissing back, and stood frozen on the spot. His hand had found Sanghyuk’s arm and squeezed against the fabric. Sanghyuk broke away, his pretty eyes flitting up to look into Hakyeon’s, who couldn’t do anything for the life of him. It had been so long since he had kissed someone. It felt like a lifetime since Ravi died, yet also could have been yesterday.

 

A part of the wound still felt fresh, and it throbbed in intimate moments like these. Like it had with Taekwoon.  
  
Sanghyuk leant in and kissed him again, and Hakyeon pressed himself against the fridge. He allowed himself to kiss back tentatively, like a child dipping his fingers in to test the temperature of a hot bath. His heart felt like it was going to throb out of his chest, and his world spun at the feeling of Sanghyuk tilting his head and kissing his mouth over and over, much too gentle and loving for Hakyeon to handle.  
  
He couldn’t. It was so nice, so welcoming, but he couldn’t.  
  
Hakyeon broke away, and he gasped for air like a man drowning, and pushed at Sanghyuk’s arm.  
  
“No,” he gasped softly, weakly. “I’m sorry, Sanghyuk, I can’t.”  
  
Sanghyuk was pliant when he broke away, his features much more gentle than they were before. “Hakyeon…”  
  
Hakyeon turned and ran off, climbing up the stairs. Sanghyuk looked up at the ceiling to hear Hakyeon’s bedroom door swing shut. He cringed, and buried his head in his hands. Now he’d done it.  
  


 

Hongbin came with a trembling moan. Taekwoon had carried him to the couch as soon as Hakyeon left. Taekwoon was beautiful between his legs, hips rolling slowly into him as he rode Hongbin through his orgasm. Taekwoon had only taken off his pants, and Hongbin was annoyed that now he’d have to wash another shirt. He smiled though, at the way Taekwoon’s face was delicately pinched, his eyes closed with pleasure. He hadn’t come yet, but was thinking of Hongbin, and didn’t want to hurt him.  
  
He brought Taekwoon forward, pulling at his arms. Taekwoon’s arms curled around him, head buried into Hongbin’s neck. He fucked him slowly, and Hongbin ran a hand through Taekwoon’s hair.  
  
“You can go faster,” he whispered.  
  
“No,” Taekwoon murmured, but Hongbin lifted his hips to meet Taekwoon’s, who groaned.  
  
“You want to,” and Taekwoon didn’t respond to that. He smiled, and pressed a kiss to Taekwoon’s hair. He ran a hand down Taekwoon’s back, fingers going over the bumps of his scars. He leant in, mouth against Taekwoon’s ear when he whispered, “Fuck me, Taekwoon.”  
  
He heard Taekwoon inhale and his arms held him tighter. Hongbin’s head tilted back with a moan when Taekwoon’s cock slid back in deliciously, before quickly pulling out and fucking back into him again. Hongbin felt his heat build up again, nails digging against Taekwoon’s skin. He swore under his breath as Taekwoon fucked him until he became undone, sinking himself into Hongbin afterwards. Hongbin came too with a whimper against Taekwoon’s hair.  
  
Hongbin felt hazy when Taekwoon was locked into him again. The swelling  was borderline painful, but the dizzying magic that swirled through them only made it worth it. Hongbin went limp at the feeling, eyes closing, only vaguely feeling the soft kisses pressed against his skin. The heat was flushed out, was taken away with the magic, at least for the moment. Taekwoon was able to pull out, and they both sighed quietly in bliss. Hongbin smiled, his eyes still closed, his hand finding Taekwoon’s, who lead it up to his face. Taekwoon kissed the back of his palm, his knuckles.  
  
“Hungry,” Taekwoon mumbled softly, against his fingers.  
  
Hongbin gave a little tired laugh, opening his eyes, “but not for me, this time.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, and it was beautiful, the way his face softened, how his cheeks bunched up. “I’m always hungry for you.”  
  
Hongbin cringed, and Taekwoon only laughed; a quiet, little puff against his hand. Hongbin’s face softened, and he sat up, pressing a kiss against Taekwoon’s smiling mouth.  
  
“I love you, dearest,” Hongbin murmured. The magic blossomed between them like a hundred roses, and Taekwoon held him to his chest. They embraced, and Hongbin sunk his head into Taekwoon’s neck, feeling the magic settle between them. The waves had calmed, and Hongbin was glad for the clear head.  
  
“It only took about six orgasms,” Hongbin mentioned glumly, and Taekwoon laughed.

 

 

 

 

Hakyeon sat with a blanket around his shoulders. The nights were getting much colder, and Hakyeon fiddled with the fabric of his socks. His eyes burned from crying out of frustration, and he hated it. He sniffled, and flinched when he heard the door knock.  
  
He grimaced, thinking likely it was Sanghyuk on the other end. Wanting to apologize, or explain himself, or something. He swallowed, looking down at his socks, “yes?”  
  
“It’s Jaehwan. Can I come in?”  
  
_Oh_. Hakyeon looked up at that, red eyes widening. He sat up a little, wondering why Jaehwan sounded so sullen. “Of course, Jaehwan,” he said quietly, and luckily Jaehwan heard, for he slid himself in.  
  
It was strange seeing Jaehwan with a frown. He truly didn’t suit it; it looked like his hair drooped with his expression too, his cheeks sunken. Hakyeon moved to hold him, though when Jaehwan looked into Hakyeon’s eyes, they widened in realisation.  
  
“You’re not okay either,” he pointed out quietly.

Hakyeon smiled sadly, “am I ever?”  
  
Jaehwan gave a small laugh, “good point.”  
  
Hakyeon watched as Jaehwan settled on the bed next to Hakyeon, mirroring how he sat. He watched Jaehwan hesitate, and he wondered what had him so upset.  
  
“I sent Sanghyuk home early today,” he began quietly.  
  
“Ah,” Hakyeon blinked. “Yes, I was wondering why.”  
  
“It’s because… he – took my phone, out of my hands… during my break.”  
  
“What?” Hakyeon’s voice croaked. “Why?”  
  
“He saw that I was on a dating website… and… asked me why I was on them, since I was asexual.” He looked down at his feet, and Hakyeon saw how raw Jaehwan’s waterlines looked. Jaehwan was not a crier, at least not in front of people, so he supposed it was simply from holding them back. “He didn’t say it but – I knew he thought it was a hopeless case. And I – I’m just – I’m wondering if it _is_ hopeless… since…”  
  
Hakyeon leant forward, his hand resting on the back of Jaehwan’s. It had begun to tremble. “I know Heeyeon didn’t work out, but it doesn’t mean—“  
  
“I really loved her, Hakyeon, I really did, and she—“ Jaehwan shook his head, his face pinching. “I thought she meant it, you know? Thought she knew I meant it, when I said I wasn’t interested.”  
  
Jaehwan swallowed thickly, his eyes looked up, “do you think it’s just a lost cause? I know I’m not the only asexual person in this world and lately I’ve really been _fine_ with the idea of not having anyone and just being apart of the pack, but Sanghyuk just reminded me about it and it’s just—it’s hard, Hakyeon.”  
  
“I know,” Hakyeon murmured. He brought Jaehwan into his arms. He was a lot broader, a little taller than Hakyeon, but he easily fit into his embrace. Jaehwan was happy, rational, but they both knew he couldn’t be that way all the time. “I know, Jaehwan, I know. You’ll find someone. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but… we’ll keep looking. Alright?”  
  
Jaehwan pulled away and nodded. He sighed, and rested his head on Hakyeon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to—burden you with these things. I know things like love don’t… bring back happy thoughts. Yet I feel like you’re the only one who I can talk to about this.”  
  
Hakyeon  ran his hand through Jaehwan’s hair, chaste and sweet, like a mother to a child. “I would rather you tell me your thoughts than keep them bottled up,” he replied quietly. “You’re a very important person to me. After all you’ve done, it’s – it’s nothing. You got us this house, and you – found both Taekwoon and I at our lowest. I feel like I can never repay you.”  
  
“I think the Gods have repaid Taekwoon,” Jaehwan said quietly. “For all that he’s done. I wish the Gods would repay me, too.”  
  
Jaehwan looked up, to see Hakyeon’s smile bitter, forced. Jaehwan’s face fell, and he leant in for another hug. “I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
  
“I know you didn’t,” Hakyeon whispered against Jaehwan’s shoulder. “I just—don’t know what I could have done to deserve what the Gods did to me.”  
  
“You didn’t do anything,” Jaehwan replied, “but I’m sure there’s – something good in the future too, for you.”  
  
“Jaehwan, I doubt—“  
  
“If I’m not allowed to give up, neither are you, alright?” Jaehwan gave him a squeeze, and Hakyeon fought back a sob.  
  
He sounded broken when he replied, “yes, I understand.”  
  
Jaehwan pulled back, and smiled. He then settled himself against the bed, getting comfortable. “Now, will you tell me how you are? Why did you look so sad when I came in?”  
  
Hakyeon blinked. He felt Sanghyuk’s mouth on his, how warm it was, how gentle. His face pinched, then, and he shook his head. “Just the usual,” he lied quietly. “Nothing I can’t deal with.”  
  
Jaewhan smiled gently, patting Hakyeon’s hand. “If it becomes too unbearable, know I’m always here to lend an ear, okay?”  
  
Jaehwan’s words reminded Hakyeon of someone. Hakyeon nodded, and thanked him quietly. He felt exhausted when Jaehwan left with a soft smile.  


 

 

 

It was in the middle of the night when Hakyeon texted Wonshik. It was a small, little, “I might take you up on your offer. Are you free tomorrow?”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  There's also some things I've got to say:  
> \- so guys I'm super sorry for the delay! I've been super busy lately but managed to get it out  
> \- I've deleted my live journal today and I deleted my aff a long time ago, for reasons you can ask me about [here](https://ask.fm/xfaunalyn) if you're curious. It means that my fics are ONLY on this website from now on.  
> \- of course I always love comments, so if any of you leave some I'll probably cry ♥︎  
> \- thank you so much for reading and showing interest!!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanghyuk hadn’t turned the lights on yet, so he sat in the dark wearing a tank top. He was cold, and he was sad. 
> 
> tw: mentions of suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have created small playlists to play as you read, if you like to do that!  
> i'll put more songs as i find them, but so far there is:  
> [Hakyeon](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDCAXPb-l0Ip4zi1UFSHezdQ)  
> [Taekwoon & Hongbin](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDDIUPq8PcUVhkrJ_iEuw5Zo)  
> [Hyuk](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDDFc8a-wUHdY0gkUP3Qs2gF)  
> Also, if you find any songs you think suit any of the members, please tell me [here!](https://ask.fm/xfaunalyn) If I like them, I'll add them to the fitting playlist!

Hakyeon looked into his full-body mirror, self-consciously pinching the top of his collar together. He didn’t know whether to button the top button or leave it loose. Really, did it matter? Hakyeon frowned, wondering who he was trying to impress. A pale pink button-up, dark jeans. His eyes hovered over to a photo of Ravi, taken from the album he’d let Hongbin borrow. He had taped it onto his mirror, hoping that perhaps it’d do him good.  
  
 He’d had the photos hidden away for months and months, as if scrapping everything to do with Ravi would somehow mean he wouldn’t… remember him, have to think about him. It hadn’t worked. Of course it hadn’t. So perhaps it was time to take the photos out.

He looked at the photo. It was of both of them; Hakyeon was smiling against Ravi’s cheek as Ravi looked into the camera. Hakyeon’s features softened and his eyes returned to his own in the mirror. Unlike the photo, he was now alone and he wasn’t smiling, and the thought made his breath hitch. His hand loosened around the collar of his shirt, deciding quietly to have the top button undone. He was going to someone’s apartment, not to dinner.  
  
He shouldn’t overthink this.  
  
He really shouldn’t.  
  
He grabbed his keys and his wallet. He had slot a photo of Ravi in there too, to carry him around. He didn’t know how long he could do it for; every sight of the photo made his heart hurt, but perhaps he would be better after the pain. At the moment, Taekwoon wasn’t here to fall back on, so something had to change. He missed Taekwoon.

He had his beta pills before he left the house. They tasted awful, of course. Perhaps it was truly the taste, or perhaps it was the connotation that he had to hide his own caste that made it awful. Either way, he wanted nothing to do with it.  
  
He sunk into the seat of his car, closing his eyes briefly. Driving had always given Taekwoon solace, but he’d begun to find it more stressful than anything. It was a reminder that he wasn’t in the wild for one, but it also meant he was out of his house. His sanctuary.  
  
Luckily, Wonshik’s apartment was easy to find using the GPS. The closer he got, the more jittery he was. Wonshik had simply invited him over. As friends – were they friends? He could only hope so. Otherwise, it’d make this awfully awkward.  
  
He had to stop over-thinking this. He really did.  
  
  
Wonshik certainly lived on a high level, he noted himself quietly. He’d pressed the floor number; an apartment building that certainly went into the twenty story mark. He willed himself to take a breath. Breathe, Hakyeon, breathe. The climb was so long, and he had pressed himself into one of the corners. He fiddled with his satchel bag.  
  
He hesitantly knocked on the door. These kind of apartments were unlocked with a swipe card, and Wonshik had simply told him to knock.  


There was a muffled hollering from the inside. Hakyeon couldn’t help but smile, and after a few moments, the door opened. Wonshik was so tall, and he was dressed much more casually than the past couple of times they had met.  
  
“Hakyeon,” Wonshik breathed. Hakyeon idly wondered why Wonshik seemed breathless. The door was opened for him, and Hakyeon entered the apartment.  
  
Hakyeon gasped.  
  
It was like one of those sleek bachelor pads in movies, with the shiny, black kitchen counters and spacious living rooms. A leather couch and a thick white rug, television on but quiet. Of course, it wasn’t perfectly clean. It was obvious someone lived here. A laptop on the coffee table, amongst a few mugs. He even had paintings on some of the walls. It was a beautiful apartment. “You’re giving all of this up… to live with us?” 

“It’s… it’s nice but… it’s lonely. I’d rather live somewhere… where I’m happy.”

  
Hakyeon nodded, but he couldn’t help but to smile when Wonshik not-so-conspiciously took a hoodie that was slung over one of the arm chairs and threw it into another room.  
  
“Did you clean up for me?” Hakyeon asked as he took off his shoes.  
  
“Only a little,” Wonshik looked coy. Hakyeon smiled fondly. “I-I’m not a messy person, but I didn’t know what you thought about mess, so I… just to be safe…”  
  
“I live in a house with four other boys,” Hakyeon replied easily, waving his hand dismissively. “I’m used to a little mess. Besides, I also lived in the wild, so…”  
  
Hakyeon turned, eyes pulled towards the window. Wonshik lived many stories up, and yet he hadn’t thought about it. The view. “Oh,” he gasped quietly, dropping his satchel. He bee-lined to the window and dropped to his knees as soon as he got to the glass.  
  
He could see the whole city. The beautiful skyscrapers, the traffic, the tiny people below. Yet what was most breathtaking was what was surrounding the city; the mountains, the dense forests he only knew too well. He knew what the soil felt like, how crisp the air was in winter. He could map the valleys and streams better than creases of his hands. Hakyeon hadn’t seen the forest in its entirety like this.

“Oh,” he mumbled again. He realised that he hadn’t been back to the wild since the end of his Bond. Seeing it like this, seeing all the mountains, how green and lush it looked… Hakyeon began to cry silently, his tears hot and running down his cheeks. He wiped them with his hands, ducking his head. He hated crying so much.  
  
“Hey,” Wonshik murmured, his voice low and rumbling. He slowly handed Hakyeon a box of tissues, which Hakyeon gratefully took. He wiped his cheeks.  
  
“Thank you,” he mumbled. He smiled sadly. “And I’m sorry.”  
  
“Sorry?” Wonshik’s brows furrowed. “Why are you sorry?”  
  
“I didn’t come here to cry,” Hakyeon sniffles, blowing his nose. He missed the way Wonshik’s face softened.  
  
“Do you ever go anywhere to cry?”  
  
Hakyeon swallows, replying brokenly, “sometimes.”  
  
Wonshik had meant it as a joke, but his face crumpled a little to hear that. “Come here,” he mumbled, opening his arms. Hakyeon froze, not understanding what he meant, but Wonshik coerced him, and soon he was being held. Hakyeon’s face in Wonshik’s shoulder, he squeezed his eyes shut as arms held him.  
  
It wasn’t as gentle as Taekwoon, but it wasn’t as suffocating as Ravi. Ravi would squeeze him, until Hakyeon was gasping with laughter. He cringed, not wanting to think about another man when he was in someone’s arms. He couldn’t help it. He trembled as Wonshik slowly pet his hair, cradling him to his chest.  
  
“Can you…” He swallowed. “Hug me harder?”  
  
“Hug you harder? Like… squeeze?”  
  
It hurt. It hurt so much. Wonshik complied, crushing him to his chest, and the feeling was so new yet so comforting that Hakyeon sobbed aloud. He’d missed it. He hated being treated like he was fragile. He was a widow, and it was if there was some kind of unspoken rule that he had to be touched and spoken to gently. He hated it. It was a constant reminder that so much had changed, and that he was only half of what he used to be.  
  
Eventually, Hakyeon pulled away, shifting awkwardly out of Wonshik’s lap. Wonshik was obviously still wary, and he felt his gaze even though Hakyeon didn’t meet it.  
  
“What made you cry?” Wonshik asked quietly, as Hakyeon wiped his tears with his arm.  
  
Hakyeon made a gesture to the view. “I just—I haven’t seen the forests in its entirety, like this. I haven’t been—haven’t _seen_ the wild—since Ravi.”  
  
Wonshik followed Hakyeon’s gesture, looking out the the forests and the mountains. He didn’t say anything, and looked as if he were wanting to ask the forest questions. He returned his attention to Hakyeon, who was slowly collecting himself. His trail of sight went back to the forest, too.  
  
“Do you miss it?”  
  
“The wild?” Hakyeon asked, voice sounding a little stronger. “Unbearably. I miss the taste of fresh meat, just after killing it. I miss the feeling of… soil under my claws, how it kicked up behind as I ran down the hills and valleys.” He looked down at his hands, his smooth skin. It was all he had seen in so long. “It’s so liberating. You’re not tied down by money or… societal expectations.”  
  
He lowered his hands. He felt the need to apologize again, but he thought it would be useless to. He looked at Wonshik, and admired his side-profile as Wonshik looked out the window. Wonshik’s nose was a lot straighter than Ravi’s, his teeth were, too. It was mostly his eyes, those sweet, sleepy eyes that gave him a small jolt every time he looked into them. He swallowed when Wonshik looked back, providing him with a small smile.  
  
“Want something to drink?” Wonshik replied, and Hakyeon blinked.  
  
He smiled. “That would be lovely.”  
  
“Do you want a coffee?” Hakyeon blinked, nodding, watching Wonshik get up and walk to the kitchen. Hakyeon noticed he was wearing socks, how he’d rolled his tracksuit pants up. He smiled to himself, turning back to look at the forest. Before he knew it, there was a cappuccino nudged against his fingers, and Hakyeon jolted, taking it from him.  
  
“Ah, thank you.” He mumbled, taking a sip. He watched as Wonshik lowered himself to sit next to him again. It was amusing how they were completely ignoring the couches, or the soft rug. Hakyeon would much rather sit here, in front of the glass. “It tastes nice.”  
  
“I can bring it over to the house—“ Wonshik replied, eyes lighting up. He stopped himself, biting his lip. “If you—if you guys accept me, of course.”  
  
“I’m sure Taekwoon would love you for it,” Hakyeon laughs. “He loves coffee. I’m sure Jaehwan would love it for you too, since it means Taekwoon would stop pestering Jaehwan for one.”  
  
Wonshik smiled against the rim of his mug. He was so handsome, like this. Hakyeon had to look away to stop himself thinking about it. Now was not the time. In his defence, Hakyeon bitterly thought, it wasn’t like Wonshik _wasn’t_ his type. Especially considering Ravi was literally the _perfect_ person for him.

 

“Do you… uh, shift often? Like is there a park you go to and run around?” Wonshik scratched the back of his neck, cheeks a little pink.  
  
Hakyeon could only smile, lowering his drink as he half-laughed a, “a park?”  
  
Wonshik made a garbled noise. “I—I dunno, do you? I thought you and Taekwoon would go out on little … I don’t know, wolf walks or something.”  
  
Hakyeon threw his head back and laughed. When he looked back, Wonshik was rustled and red, though trying to fight a small smile of his own. Hakyeon tried to quieten himself, the sound of his own laughter foreign and strange. “No, no,” he chuckled, before taking another sip of his coffee. “The last time I shifted was…” He remembered, then, being so upset and angry that he’d shifted. He remembered struggling in Taekwoon’s arms. He cleared his throat. “Not a long time ago, but it wasn’t voluntary.”  
  
“I’d like to see it.” Wonshik murmured. Hakyeon turned to look at him, a little surprised. “I’ve—I’ve never been out of the city. Well, I mean—normal suburbia, I guess. I’ve never met anyone with magic like yours or Taekwoon’s… much less seen anyone shift.”  
  
Hakyeon lowered his mug. He frowned a little. “You want to see me shift?”  
  
Wonshik nodded. “If that’s okay,” he then shrugged, “if it’s not, I can just wait until we go camping.”  
  
“I—I’m – when I shift back, I’m naked,” Hakyeon replied softly, and Wonshik blinked in surprise.  
  
“O-oh, well, I mean… I’m sure you’re used to naked people, and—I’ve seen naked people before, so…”  
  
“Yes, it … should be fine…” Hakyeon’s voice sounded a little distant in its awkwardness.  
  
“Yeah,” Wonshik mumbled.  
  
They both remained silent for a beat.

 

And then, Hakyeon shifted.  
  
Wonshik was surprised at how easy, how natural it looked. He was expecting some kind of weird morph, or a poof of smoke, but there was nothing. He supposed humans shifting into wolves was more natural than not being able to shift at all. Wonshik gawked, and he turned himself, lowering his mug to look at Hakyeon properly.  
  
There was something so ethereal about wolves. The way their muscles moved, the way their eyes tracked your movements, how their fur bristled. Wonshik raised his hand, before hesitating.  
  
“Can I touch you?” He asked, and Hakyeon – whose eyes shone so lucid, nodded. It was so strange to see an animal use human gestures. Wonshik leant over, smoothing down the fur on Hakyeon’s head, and found himself smiling when Hakyeon leant into the touch, his tail wagging. Wonshik laughed as he hugged him, the fur a lot denser and rougher than a domestic dog. The colour of Hakyeon’s fur was pretty, the tips shining gold from the light from the window.  
  
“You’re such a nice wolf,” Wonshik replied, and Hakyeon’s eyes were so quizzical, Wonshik had to laugh. “I dunno—I—wolves are pretty animals, I guess. I’m jealous you can shift.”  
  
Hakyeon sat down, lowering his bottom. Wonshik was scratching the fur at his chest, and it was obvious Hakyeon appreciated it. Wonshik pulled away when he saw the wolf gather Hakyeon’s pants in his mouth. He couldn’t help but to smile and look away, taking it as a sign that Hakyeon was going to shift back.  
  
He heard it in the rustling of clothes, when Hakyeon shifted back. Wonshik did his best to non-chalantly sip his coffee as he heard Hakyeon get dressed.  
  
“I’m decent,” Hakyeon said after a few moments, and when Wonshik looked back, Hakyeon was lowering himself down back onto the ground, buttoning his shirt. Wonshik’s face softened to see how ruffled Hakyeon looked. His skin was such a rich colour, and his hair was dark and messy, unlike how neat and clipped he had seen it the previous times he’d seen him. He looked more like himself, Wonshik thought idly. He supposed it wasn’t truly in Hakyeon’s nature to look prim and proper, to have the top button done and his hair perfectly straight. Surely Hakyeon felt better with dirt under his nails, his hair not brushed, without a shirt. Wonshik frowned at the thought. He wondered what Hakyeon was like, before Ravi died.  
  
“Did you... want to talk about anything?” Wonshik asked quietly, watching how Hakyeon’s eyes kept trailing back to the forest. Hakyeon jerked back to look at him.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
Wonshik frowned. “Well, from my understanding… you’re the closest to Taekwoon, right? He’s the one you talk to when you’re not feeling good?”  
  
Hakyeon tilted his head, “yes? But I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”  
  
Wonshik’s eyes were gentle, and he thumbed the rim of his mug in thought. “He hasn’t been around,” and he saw how Hakyeon’s expression shifted to realisation, “you haven’t really… been able to talk to anyone, have you? Do you need to talk to someone?”  
  
Hakyeon was silent, for a few moments, his lips parted and his eyes downcast. Wonshik watched him, and Hakyeon was seemingly mulling something over.  
  
“Sanghyuk kissed me.” Hakyeon said eventually, eyes returning to the forest, and then to Wonshik. “We were arguing, and he said that…  the only way to get over Ravi, to move on, was to take risks,” Hakyeon sighed, “and then he kissed me.”  
  
So that tall Alpha _did_ like Hakyeon. Wonshik blinked, and then he frowned. “Did you kiss back?” _Did Hakyeon like him back?_  
  
Hakyeon frowned deeply. “I don’t know.” Obviously, the answer didn’t really make sense, but Wonshik understood what Hakyeon was getting at. “Regardless, it’s shaken me. I don’t know what to make of it.”  
  
“Have you… ever gone to someone else? Like a rebound?” Wonshik asked quietly.  
  
Hakyeon shook his head silently, though then sighed. “Not romantically or sexually…” He began to fidget with his sleeves. It was obvious Hakyeon was nervous, but Wonshik remained quiet, letting Hakyeon speak when he was ready. Hakyeon exhaled shakily, and then confessed, “… I feel guilty.”  
  
“About what?” Wonshik asked. Hakyeon’s eyes flickered over to Wonshik and then back to his sleeves.  
  
Hakyeon willed himself to breathe. His face crumpled a little. “It was… it was my first heat after Ravi died. And I know—Beta’s don’t experience heats like omegas or alphas do, so it’s hard for you to understand, but…” Hakyeon pressed his lips together, swallowing. Wonshik could see him fighting the tears. “God, Wonshik, it was—it was so painful, I was so desperate. I felt so broken.”  
  
Hakyeon hung his head, and Wonshik wanted to touch him, to hold him, but something told him to leave Hakyeon be and to let him compose himself. Eventually, he did, and Hakyeon sat himself up slowly, face hard. “I asked Taekwoon to help me. Just to—touch me until I came, and I had been screaming and crying so he—obviously complied. I don’t—I don’t blame him, it’s just—I felt so _dirty_ afterwards and I’ve refused help since I—“ Hakyeon inhaled deeply, the sound shrill and devastating, sobbing wretchedly into his hand. Wonshik leant over then, taking Hakyeon’s hand and squeezing it. He let Hakyeon cry. Wonshik knew that saying it was alright didn’t help Hakyeon.  
  
He had a hunch that it was never alright for Hakyeon; not anymore. Saying otherwise was just lying to him.  
  
Wonshik wondered how he could word what he wanted to say. He hesitated, and Hakyeon caught it, looking up with sad eyes. “What?” He croaked.  
  
Wonshik frowned. “You have a lot of love for Ravi,” he said quietly. “I—we haven’t known each other for very long, but I can tell you have a lot of love for the people around you in general.”  
  
Hakyeon frowned, not understanding what Wonshik was saying. Wonshik’s eyes were so deep, as if they hid wisdom and knowledge of a thousand years. “Isn’t it possible to love someone as well as Ravi? You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re abandoning him… when you don’t want to be alone.”  
  
“But I—I’d be betraying him—I feel guilty because—“ Hakyeon swallowed, and he was so grateful that Wonshik simply let him speak, no matter how long it took him to get the words out. “I just—I know Ravi would want me to be happy. I know. I just—I can’t betray him like that.”  
  
“It’s not betrayal if he knows about it. I don’t know much about what happens when we die, but if our souls are anywhere, I’m sure Ravi is watching over.”  
  
Wonshik’s eyes were so kind, but not in the pitiable way people’s eyes usually were.  
  
Wonshik continued, “if he wants you to be happy, like you said, would he be upset for you finding happiness after him? I’m… sure you would be the same if roles were reversed. I would be.”  
  
“I know, that’s what Jaehwan says.” Hakyeon sighed. “I still… feel awful, he’s… all I can think about.”  
  
“He’s your soulmate,” Wonshik replied quietly. “I don’t think you’ll ever stop thinking about him. But that’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad.”  
  
Hakyeon appreciated the fact that Wonshik spoke of Ravi in a present tense. He appreciated it beyond words. Just at the thought, Hakyeon’s lips trembled. “But I don’t want to be sad,” he whimpered.  
  
“I know,” Wonshik replied, his heart aching for him. “But you don’t have to be sad alone. You can share it with others, you know? You have… a lot of love, like I said. I don’t think you’re incapable of loving Ravi and no one else.”  
  
Hakyeon shuddered. He looked down at their hands. Wonshik held his tightly.  It comforted him more than he could express.  
  
Wonshik tilted his head, attempting to look into his eyes. “Do you love Sanghyuk, Hakyeon?”  
  
Hakyeon looked up, and frowned once more. He sighed, and he felt weary down to his bones. “I adore him,” he replied quietly. “And he… feels so young, so naïve. He feels like everything I’m not. I harbour a lot of affection for him, I do, but… I can’t lead him on for feelings that may never exist, let alone equal to the feelings he gives me. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s already lost so much. It’s hard—I—I… truthfully, I enjoyed the kiss, I missed the feeling, but… I can’t lie to Sanghyuk. I felt like I had betrayed Ravi by kissing him, and I don’t love him like he loves me.”  
  
Wonshik nods. It was a difficult situation, and he didn’t know what to do either. There didn’t seem to be a definitive _right_ answer. Their hands broke away, and Hakyeon held himself for a moment.  
  
“I like Sanghyuk, but I don’t… want to be made to feel like I must love him back. Or that he can fix me. No one can fix me, just as I can’t fix him. Love or romance isn’t a magic spell where all our problems go away.” Hakyeon held his head. It hurt, and he felt tired. He felt exhausted. It felt like he had the whole forest on his shoulders. There was a small silence, that Hakyeon did his best to make himself feel a little more collected.  
  
“Do you want to take a nap?” Wonshik asked gently. Hakyeon looked up in surprise; it was almost eerie how well Wonshik could read him.  


 

 

  
  
  
  
Hakyeon woke, and he smelled food. He felt languid when he sat up, and the small blanket that had been thrown over him fell to the ground. He picked it back up, feeling it between his fingertips. It was soft.  
  
Wonshik’s apartment smelled like bacon and eggs, and Hakyeon’s mouth watered. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and that had been very small, for Hakyeon had been too anxious to eat.  
  
Looking at Wonshik, who was still standing in the kitchen preparing something, Hakyeon didn’t know what he had been anxious about. Wonshik was a kind man. He was patient, and a good listener. Hakyeon idly wondered if many of Wonshik’s friends came over to talk things out, to be listened to. Wonshik seemed like the person that would entrance those sorts of people. The people that just wanted to be listened to.  
  
Hakyeon frowned – it wasn’t that Taekwoon, or Jaehwan, didn’t listen… he didn’t know what it was, that made Wonshik magnetizing. He simply hoped it wasn’t the fact it looked like Ravi.  
  
“Oh, you’re up,” Wonshik piped. Hakyeon found that he had been staring, and ducked his head a bit.  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied, going to stand up, but Wonshik was rounding the kitchen with a tray. On it, bacon and egg toasted sandwiches. Hakyeon couldn’t help but to smile. They looked very good. “How long was I out?”  
  
“Just an hour or so,” Wonshik replied, and Hakyeon opened his mouth to apologize, but Wonshik didn’t seem fazed at all. Wonshik took one of the sandwiches gingerly in his hand, wary of the oozing yolk. He collapsed onto the couch next to him, taking a bike. Hakyeon went to do the same. It was messy, and Hakyeon rarely ate things like this, but the novelty made him happy.  
  
“How did you know I needed a nap?” Hakyeon asked quietly. He hadn’t eaten yet. He looked down at the toastie.  
  
“Old people have naps,” when Hakyeon’s head flit up to glower, he was met with Wonshik laughing as he was chewing. He wiped his mouth on a tissue, before he elaborated, “I’m just kidding. I just thought you might want to. You went through a lot today.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded, and bit into his sandwich. It made his insides feel warm. He licked the yolk off his fingers.  
  
“Have you gone on any dates, since?” Wonshik asked quietly, and Hakyeon looked up.  
  
“Dates?” Hakyeon blinked. “No, not really. I can barely—I can’t even kiss someone, let alone—“  
  
“It’s okay, I was just wondering.” Wonshik smiled, “how about therapy?”  
  
Hakyeon frowned. “Yeah, I did therapy,” he replied, but his voice sounded worn. “But if it were anything, it was more like Widows Anonymous. We all sat in a circle, and said our names and… told our stories. It was awful. Everyone had… broken soul bond. Everyone was broken, everyone was just… _dying_. It didn’t take long until… I was one of the only ones left, from the original line-up I started with.”  
  
“What do you mean? Where did they go?”  
  
Hakyeon’s fingers trembled around the toastie. “Most widows… they don’t see a point in living, after their soul mates die. They simply can’t see a future. It’s like losing your sight, hearing and sense of touch all at once. It feels as if there’s no point to living at all.”  
  
Wonshik’s lips pressed together, his features sullen. “Did you feel like that?”  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied, he slowly raised his sandwich, and took a nibble from it. “Of course, I did. And… and I still do, sometimes. It’s the hardest around my heat, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I know I wouldn’t be here without Taekwoon. Taekwoon’s the only reason I have people around me right now. He said, you know, that the pack would be good for me. I didn’t believe him, but,” he looked up at Wonshik then, his smile brittle, but genuine. “I think I understand where he was getting at.”  
  
Wonshik smiled in return, “I’d go to hug you, but I don’t want to get egg on your expensive shirt.”  
  
Hakyeon laughed, the sound loud and clear.  


 

  


 

  
The wind was cold as it blew from Sanghyuk’s window. It was strong, and it picked up his fringe and clattered the blinds. It was about five in the afternoon, and it was downcast. Sanghyuk hadn’t turned the lights on yet, so he sat in the dark wearing a tank top. He was cold, and he was sad.  
  
Hakyeon had left around eleven, saying cryptically that he was going to go visit a friend. But Sanghyuk had never known Hakyeon to have friends outside of the pack. He supposed it made sense, for Hakyeon to have a life outside of Taekwoon. It seemed odd. Maybe he was friends with some of his tutors at his university. His old university, at least. It seemed like an eternity he had dropped out.  
  
Sanghyuk raised his hand to his lips. He could still feel Hakyeon’s mouth there. It’d been so warm, warmer than he’d anticipated. It made him all tingly to remember how Hakyeon’s breath felt fanning against his own lips. It was a bit surreal, but Sanghyuk liked remembering it. Yet he hated remembering the fact that Hakyeon had pushed him away, had run off and had avoided eye contact with him since. It felt awful. Sanghyuk felt awful, and he supposed he should feel awful.  
  
Kissing Hakyeon was a stupid thing to do. He needed to apologize later.  
  
He probably needed to apologize to Jaehwan as well. His face pinched at the thought, he’d been making so many _mistakes_ lately.  
  
It took a few, long breaths to realise his phone was ringing. Belatedly, Sanghyuk reacted, turning to reach across his bed to look at the I.D. He wondered if it was from Hakyeon, or maybe even Hongbin. Maybe he was feeling better. He really missed Hongbin.  
  
Though Sanghyuk’s hands stilled to see the word on the screen, and an accompanying picture of a face he had not seen in years. His father.  
  
Anxiously, Sanghyuk sat up, and even more anxiously, he pressed answer, and brought the phone to his ear.  
  
“Hey kiddo,” his voice sounded the same as it always did. Unbelievably relaxed no matter the situation, no matter the obvious strain on their relationship. However this time, on top of being relaxed, at least his father sounded at least a little… _worried_ this time. Sanghyuk swallowed. It had barely been a week, since his mother died. The wound was still fresh, yet it felt like a lifetime. It felt much too late that his father called. His father should have called when he first heard.  
  
Sanghyuk’s free hand squeezed and bunched up his own shirt when he replied a small, “hey, Dad.”  
  
“I heard the news,” his father began, “are you alright?”  
  
“No.” Sanghyuk replied, voice heavy with emotion. He cleared his throat, tears threatening to spill over. What did his Dad _think?_  


“You at the house? Alone?”  
  
“No,” Sanghyuk repeated. He willed himself to calm, not to lash out. He squeezed his eyes shut. He wished someone was home right now. Anyone. “No, once everything is finalized and handed over, I’m going to sell it.”  
  
“What?” Now, his father sounded genuinely surprised. A part of Sanghyuk relished in it.  
  
“Mum left it to me. She wanted me to have the house.”  
  
“What did she think you were going to do with the house? What about her savings?”  
  
“To me.” Sanghyuk could only bite out a couple of words at once. He felt his hands tremble with rage.  
  
There was a pause. “So where are you now?”  
  
Sanghyuk scoffed. He knew his father didn’t care. Otherwise he would have called five days ago. “I live with a pack now. In the city. I know you don’t care, though, you don’t care about anything.”  
  
“I care about you, Sanghyuk—“  
  
“Bullshit.”  
  
He could practically hear his father swell with anger. It was no wonder where Sanghyuk got his temper from. Sanghyuk hated the fact. “Sanghyuk,” he growled with warning. “Do not talk to me—“  
  
“I don’t think you have the right to tell me to do anything,” Sanghyuk spat. He was shaking. “You don’t care about me, otherwise you would have called me days ago. She died, Dad, she _died_ , and you didn’t even think that calling your mourning son was a priority. It’s not like it was sudden. She was dying, Dad, for ages. But you didn’t _fucking_ care. You didn’t even send us anything. Even if you don’t love her anymore, it doesn’t mean you can just— just—“ Sanghyuk didn’t know when he had stood up.  
  
“Sanghyuk,” his Dad said, quieter this time.  
  
Sanghyuk took a deep breath, his voice low and severe. Alpha. “I’ll tell you what you rang to hear. Mum didn’t leave you anything. She left it all to me. So stop pretending you care about me and fuck off.”  
  
Sanghyuk didn’t know what he expected to hear afterwards. Though when he heard the grim beeping that told him his father had simply hung up, Sanghyuk screamed, throwing his phone into the wall.  
  
He heard the screen of his phone crack, and heard something within it splinter as it bounced along the ground. Sanghyuk had collapsed as if his legs had forgotten to support him. He wheezed with anger and frustration, head bowed onto the carpet. He was so angry, and the feeling ripped through his ribcage like a feral animal. He clutched his face, dragging his nails down his cheeks, though cried in pain, and flinched, sitting up so fast it made his head dizzy.  
  
His hands had changed to claws. Fur had sprouted on his the back of his hands, down his arms. His voice was laboured, terrified, touching his face tenderly to see it was bleeding, his fingers seeped in crimson when he looked at them again. He was bleeding badly, and when Sanghyuk grimaced, it only hurt more. Sanghyuk went to stand up, see if he could run water on his wounds, _something,_ but he stumbled. There was something wrong, very wrong, as if he’d partially shifted somewhere inside, too. He turned to look at his legs; they didn’t want to work. Seeing them, how twisted they’d become in an attempt to shift, Sanghyuk wailed in fright. Trying to hit them with his bare fists, as if they’d go human again.  
  
“Please, please,” he felt so alone. He yelled, but no one was home. “Please, please just—please—“  
  
The door burst open, and soon someone was _there,_ bundling him up into his arms. “Oh god, oh god please--” Sanghyuk cried out, and went to grasp at them, whoever they were, but remembered his hands were sharp. It hurt.  
  
“Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon breathed, holding him tight. He was hoisted up onto the bed, and Sanghyuk shouted in pain.  
  
“Hakyeon, Hakyeon,” Sanghyuk wheezed. “I need an ambulance, I need— please—“ 

Hakyeon pressed kisses against his temple in an attempt to calm him. Sanghyuk was thrashing in pain, so much bigger and broader than Hakyeon, who attempted to hold him down. “No, no, you’ll be fine, listen to me Sanghyuk—“  
  
“No, Hakyeon, my legs—it hurts—“  
  
Hakyeon looked down, biting down hard on his bottom lip to see his legs in an awful angle. Sanghyuk had grown ears too, one of his eyes a threatening gold. There was an awful gash down his cheek, blood running down his neck. It was bad. Really bad. Hakyeon had seen it in the wild with new bloomers, and it was only usually reverted with a prayer to the Gods. But Hakyeon didn’t have the tools. They needed a fire, they needed--  
  
“Please,” Sanghyuk begged, “ambulance, ambulance.”  
  
“Alright, Hyukkie, alright—let me—let me ring them, okay?” Hakyeon swallowed, scrambling to grab his phone from his pocket.

 

 

 

 

 

Hakyeon hadn’t been in a hospital for a long while, and he held himself, sitting in the waiting room. His first call - once he came to the hospital in the ambulance with Sanghyuk - was to Jaehwan, who told him he’d come as soon as he could.  
  
Hakyeon was now in the waiting room, his hands trembling. He hated hospitals. Too proper, too clean. It felt like the person Hakyeon tried to become after leaving the wild. Hospitals – _anything_ that sterile didn’t feel natural. Of course it made sense, it was to keep everyone safe. It simply irked Hakyeon. It also irked Hakyeon because being at a hospital was very rarely a good thing.  
  
There were hurried footsteps, and soon Jaehwan collapsed into the seat next to him. Jaehwan was panting, like he’d run from the car, and he immediately took Hakyeon’s trembling hands in his own.  


“Sanghyuk,” was Jaehwan’s first word, “is he alright?”  
  
“I can only imagine he would be,” Hakyeon said shakily. “It isn’t—life-threatening, it’s something that can be reverted it—I just couldn’t do it.”  
  
Jaehwan was pale, but he nodded. Hakyeon was still trembling so Jaehwan pulled him into a hug. They embraced.  
  
“He’ll be alright,” Jaehwan mumbled. He rubbed Hakyeon’s back. “It—it sounds so scary and painful.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded against Jaehwan’s shoulder. “Did you ring Taekwoon?” asked Jaehwan softly.  
  
“Not yet,” Hakyeon mumbled, pulling away. “I wanted company as I told him.”  
  
“You should ring now.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded, and they held hands as Hakyeon took out his phone, and lifted it to his ear. When Taekwoon answered, he sounded weary. Of course he would be. He was in heat. Hakyeon swallowed.  
  
“Mm?” Taekwoon hummed. Hakyeon could hear rustling of sheets.  
  
Hakyeon breathed in. “Taekwoon, I’m at hospital.”  
  
There was a pause, and Taekwoon croaked a tiny, “what? Why?”  
  
“Sanghyuk – something happened and I came home to him – he’d emotionally shifted, but only half, so his bones in his legs were all… all mangled…”  
  
“Ah…” Taekwoon sounded unbearably sad.  
  
Hakyeon whimpered. “He was so scared, Taekwoon.” He felt Jaehwan stroke his forearm comfortingly.  
  
“Are you waiting for news?” Taekwoon asked softly.  
  
“Yes, I—you—we really need to train him, Taekwoon. I don’t want this to happen again. I can’t see him – like that – again.”  
  
“A week more,” Taekwoon replied, it sounded desperate, like he was begging. “Just one more week I—I want to come to the hospital, but I—we can’t, Hakyeon, I’m—“  
  
Hakyeon grimaced, and he heard a soft wince come from the other end. He didn’t know if it was Taekwoon or Hongbin. “I know, I—I know you can’t come, neither of you can,” Hakyeon mumbled. “Just—I wanted you to know. I’ll keep you updated.”  
  
“Please.” Taekwoon murmured, and there was a muffled noise, before Hakyeon heard Hongbin.  
  
“Tell Hyuk we love him,” Hongbin said. “Tell him we’re sorry we can’t be there.”  
  
“I will,” Hakyeon promised. They said their goodbyes, and Hakyeon hung up. He sank into Jaehwan’s arms again.

 

 

 

 

 

Sanghyuk had been discharged three hours later, and driven home. He had been given prescriptions for pain killers and other pills to keep his bones, well, _human_ for now. He was back on his bed, propped up, and well-fed.  
  
Jaehwan had left the room, after making sure Sanghyuk was cared for, and it left Hakyeon and Sanghyuk alone together. Hakyeon sat on Sanghyuk’s bed, adjusting the bandages that had been wrapped around his head, and the one covering his cheek. It should heal fast; there was specific medication to be used if it was a wound from a wolf. Sanghyuk should be fine – so why was Hakyeon’s hand racing?  
  
“Hakyeon, I’m fine,” Sanghyuk’s voice murmured. His voice was so rich and low, and his eyes were wet with unshed tears. Sanghyuk took Hakyeon’s hand in his, lowering it from his bandages. “Stop touching it.”  
  
Hakyeon didn’t pull away, and so Sanghyuk held Hakyeon’s hand. They stared at each other for a couple of beats. Hakyeon inhaled then, willing himself to breathe. He smiled apologetically.  
  
“Are you alright?” The question was from Sanghyuk, and to Hakyeon, the question seemed ridiculous. He wasn’t the one just at hospital.  
  
“Will you ever not worry about me?”  
  
Sanghyuk’s face softened. “No.”  
  
Hakyeon scowled, though when he looked back at Sanghyuk, he was smiling. Hakyeon wondered if smiling was painful for him; surely it would be.  
  
“Where did you go today?” Sanghyuk asked curiously. Hakyeon’s eyes returned to Sanghyuk, and they met eyes. He realised this was their first conversation since Sanghyuk kissed him, and Hakyeon had to fight not to remove his hand.  
  
Hakyeon hesitated before he said, “I went to Wonshik’s apartment.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s expression didn’t give anything away; rather, he just blinked, raised his eyebrows a little, and sighed, “do you like him?”  
  
_Do you like him?_ Seemed a common question, lately. Hakyeon frowned. “I don’t have to like someone to hang out with them.”  
  
“I know, but…” Sanghyuk sighed, “you know. He looks like Ravi.”  
  
Hakyeon pulled away then, and turned away. He frowned, “I know.”  
  
“Do you only like him because of that, Hakyeon? Do you think you would have given him a chance if he didn’t look like Ravi?”  
  
Hakyeon turned to look at him. He didn’t want to argue with Sanghyuk tonight, not after hospital. A spasm of confliction came across Hakyeon’s face, and went to speak before--  
  
“It’s okay,” Sanghyuk shook his head. “You don’t have to answer. I was just wondering.”  
  
Hakyeon frowned, and looked down at his own hands. “I think he would be good for us. He’s very thoughtful and patient – a lot of us are so emotional, so it’d be nice to… have someone like that in our pack.”  
  
Sanghyuk nodded, playing with the fluff on his blankets. There was a small silence between them, as they both looked away. Sanghyuk raised his eyes to Hakyeon once more, and watched him as Hakyeon looked at the view out the window.  
  
His straight nose, full cheeks, red lips. Hakyeon was so pretty, even now. Sanghyuk frowned then, and supposed now was a better time than ever. “Hey, Hakyeon,” and he tried to suppress how his heart ached when Hakyeon turned to look at him.  
  
“Hm?” He hummed.  
  
“I’m sorry for kissing you,” Sanghyuk said softly, his face crumpling a little. “I’ve been doing a lot of things I’ve regretted after, lately… and even though I’ve hurt you both,” he tearfully gestured where Jaehwan’s room was, “I both woke up to saw you there. Despite it all. I’m sorry for—putting you in that situation, I know that—that would have hurt a lot and I’m sorry.”  
  
Sanghyuk bowed his head, and Hakyeon shuffled closer to hold him.

Hakyeon was warm, Sanghyuk thought to himself. He was warm and his hug was gentle, likely thinking about his wounds. Hakyeon broke away, then, and looked up to wipe Sanghyuk’s tears from his cheeks.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sanghyuk mumbled, unable to meet his eyes.  
  
“I know. I accept your apology.” Hakyeon lowered his hand, taking Sanghyuk and squeezed it. “I know it’s been so hard for you lately. I know there’s – a whole storm of worries and fears inside you, but, Sanghyuk… we’ll always be here.”  
  
His face softened as Sanghyuk nodded. Sanghyuk was getting visibly upset again, his face twisting. Hakyeon lifted his hand to caress his smooth cheek, like a mother might to a child. They met eyes, then, and Sanghyuk felt a pang of longing when Hakyeon pulled away.  
  
“Will you tell me what made you so emotional that you shifted?” Hakyeon asked.  
  
Sanghyuk’s gaze dropped, and his face pinched a bit. “My Dad called.”  
  
“Ah,” Hakyeon nodded solemnly.  
  
“He made me so angry I—I think I even broke my phone.” He looked over towards where he remembered it hitting the wall. Hakyeon nodded with a hum.  
  
“Yes, you broke it. Jaehwan cleaned it up for you.” When Sanghyuk’s face fell, Hakyeon smiled and said, “it’s alright. We’ll pitch in to get you another one.”  
  
“You don’t have to do that.”  
  
Hakyeon’s hand was on Sanghyuk’s. Sanghyuk’s hand was so much larger, so when he curled his fingers around and squeezed, it completely enveloped it. Hakyeon’s face softened. “I want to. We want to.”  


 

  
  


 

  
It was dark, in Hongbin’s room. The room was quiet if not for the sound of Hongbin’s laboured breaths, the sliding of skin. Taekwoon was lost, caught in the feeling of Hongbin riding him, how pretty he looked rolling his hips down in a rhythm they had made for themselves.  
  
Taekwoon’s shaking, hungry fingers travelled up the soft skin of Hongbin’s thighs, thumbs running up against his hipbones. He felt Hongbin’s hips stutter. His skin was feverish. They were both close, deliriously so, and Taekwoon could barely think.  
  
“Taekwoon—“ Hongbin gasped, and Taekwoon wordlessly complied, and there was a tangle of limbs as Taekwoon rolled over him, still inside. Hongbin moaned, and Taekwoon could feel the sweat gathered on Hongbin’s upper lip as he kissed him. It was simultaneously desperate, yet loving and slow, as if they wanted to come now but had all the time of the world.  
  
It was a surreal feeling that Taekwoon couldn’t grasp. He didn’t have anything in his mind other than Hongbin, and the way he cried out as Taekwoon fucked him into the mattress, pinning him down.  
  
“God—Taekwoon—please—“  
  
Taekwoon pressed his face into his claim mark, breathing in deeply. He kissed Hongbin’s neck, his collarbone, panting against Hongbin’s pale skin as they both came to their climax.  
  
They both sighed in unison, feeling warm and loved. It had become so easy now, a second thought. Hongbin had his head tilted up, blissed out, as Taekwoon’s knot grew and locked inside. Taekwoon rested his head on Hongbin’s chest, circling his arms around him.  
  
“I love you,” Taekwoon mumbled, he felt Hongbin wash feelings of contentment and bliss through his mind, and he shivered. “I love you so much…”  
  
As the knot shrank, and Taekwoon could finally pull out, Hongbin grabbed his arm, the motion weak. “Again,” Hongbin mumbled, feeling the need and ache in his bones.  
  
Taekwoon lowered himself, kissing Hongbin’s wanting mouth. Hongbin moaned helplessly, unable to get enough. It was like had never come. “Please,” he begged against Taekwoon’s lips.  
  
“Of course,” Taekwoon replied, and his hand returned to Hongbin’s cock.

 

 

 

 

Hongbin left his room, his body tingling all over. It felt like someone had recently ran their nails down a chalkboard, and he felt jittery and oversensitive. He was warm – he felt his cheeks, fingertips slipping into his hair. He noted to himself how it had begun to curl up a bit. Perhaps he’d have to get it cut – certainly not from Hakyeon.  
  
He stared at his washing machine, registering slowly that it was humming. Ah, Taekwoon must have been doing the household chores while he was asleep – while the magic wasn’t affecting them both. They certainly needed to clean quite a few bed sheets now. They’d almost exhausted all of Hongbin’s.  
  
“Taekwoon?” He called out, following the familiar tug of their bond. Taekwoon was in the kitchen, wearing Hongbin’s clothes as he prepared food. They fit, but only just. The pants were on the shorter side, and the shirt looked a little tight around the chest and shoulders. Hongbin’s face softened to see him. “Taek,” he murmured again, and Taekwoon turned.  
  
They embraced like lost lovers, relaxing into each other.

It had been multiple days into Hongbin’s heat, and a few since Sanghyuk’s incident. Hongbin idly thought that it felt like centuries since he had been in Taekwoon’s arms, when in reality it had only been this morning.

Taekwoon and Hongbin had only seen each other, never left each other, for the past few days. They wouldn’t want it another way. Being this close to Taekwoon had Hongbin’s wolf stir, and with it, his temperature spiked. He suddenly felt bleary, like he’d taken too many shots of alcohol at once. He clung to Taekwoon’s arm when they broke away. “What’re you making?”  
  
“Lunch,” he replied easily, and Hongbin looked up.  
  
“I slept through breakfast?” Hongbin’s eyelashes fluttered when Taekwoon tilted his chin up. Taekwoon pressed a small kiss against his mouth. His gestures and touches were so soft and gentle.  
  
“You did, but I am happy you slept…” Hongbin pressed his face into Taekwoon’s arm, rubbing his face into it. Taekwoon laughed; it was nothing but subconscious scent-marking. He found it amusing. He doubted Hongbin knew what he was doing. “You’ve had broken sleep ever since your heat started.”  
  
“Does that mean I’m getting better?” Hongbin asked hopefully. Taekwoon popped a small piece of carrot into Hongbin’s mouth.  
  
“It means you’re tired and you need it,” Taekwoon chided gently. Hongbin looked up again. Taekwoon was beautiful, his fond and pretty cat-like eyes. Hongbin could stare at them for hours. He chewed the piece of carrot as he thought.  
  
Hongbin hummed in reply. He’d forgotten what they were talking about.  
  
“I’m hungry,” Hongbin blurted.  
  
“I know darling, it’s almost ready.” Taekwoon murmured. Hongbin rubbed his face into Taekwoon’s arm again.  
  
“I want kisses,” Hongbin whined, and Taekwoon laughed under his breath. He’d begun to plate it up, scooping the rice into the bowls.  
  
“After lunch.”  
  
“You promise?”  
  
“Of course,” Taekwoon leant over and kissed Hongbin’s forehead. Hongbin smiled happily and took a bowl, shuffling over to the couch. Taekwoon watched him fondly before taking his own.  
  
He watched Hongbin settle onto the couch, the bowl in his lap, reaching over for the remote. Turning on the telly, he leant back against the cushions, flicking through the channels. Taekwoon lowered himself beside him, and Hongbin immediately shifted into his side. It was cute, how innocently he tucked himself there, like he had never left. Taekwoon’s eyelashes fluttered, Hongbin’s scent so sweet up close. They had to eat first, and so Taekwoon reigned his wolf in and composed himself. They ate together quietly, happy to be so close.  
  
The channel was some sort of drama targeted to the middle-aged homebodies usually home at this hour. It was obviously some sort of petty housewife drama, and Taekwoon had no idea what was happening.  
  
“It’s… it’s a show where… two alpha women are in love with the omega man across the street,” Hongbin’s voice was a little meek, especially when he registered that Taekwoon was surprised. “I-I felt your confusion,” he quickly explained. Taekwoon softened, leaning over and squeezing his thigh.  
  
“Do you like it?” He asked gently. Hongbin looked at him, and he had no concept of how long they stared into each other’s eyes before he replied.  
  
“I just… it’s on, when I’m at home, sometimes,” he confesses quietly. “I don’t sit down and watch it—I don’t really like… alphas seeing an omega as something to be claimed, like a prize, or something…”  
  
He swallowed, face falling. Taekwoon nudged him, and the gesture made Hongbin smile coyly. Taekwoon cupped Hongbin’s face, and the touch made Hongbin shiver. “I am yours,” Taekwoon whispers. “No matter what people might say, what our stereotypes are, I am just as much yours as you are mine, Lee Hongbin.”  
  
They met eyes again, and Hongbin leant in, kissing his mouth. Taekwoon smiled against Hongbin’s lips, trying to hold back a laugh when Hongbin pressed into him, grabbing his shirt. Taekwoon broke away despite Hongbin’s protest, and rubbed his nose affectionately against Hongbin’s cheek.  
  
“Lunch first, kisses later.”  
  
Hongbin made an unhappy noise. He gave him a half-hearted glare before returning to his food, shovelling rice into his mouth like a man starving. Taekwoon giggled at the sight, and ate his at a much more casual pace. They simply enjoyed being in each other’s company as they ate.  
  
Hongbin had a few flecks of rice on his lips when he looked up, and blurted, “I think I’m a lot better. We’re not—bedridden anymore.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face softened. “Yes, I think we’re at the final stages now.”

  
Taekwoon reached over, wiping the rice from Hongbin’s mouth. The way Hongbin smiled so brilliantly when Taekwoon did so had Taekwoon swoon. He leant over to kiss him, which Hongbin eagerly returned.  
  
“I thought you said lunch first,” Hongbin mused. Taekwoon let Hongbin effortlessly slide into his lap. It felt so familiar now, and Hongbin never hesitated like he used to. Taekwoon simply smiled up at him, face fond.  
  
“I did,” He replied, but Hongbin leant down to kiss him. Their lips moved against each other, over and over and over, and Taekwoon was glad they were alone. They had no perception of time when they were like this.  
  
He felt Hongbin burn up again. It wasn’t as bad as before, but it was enough for Taekwoon to know.  
  
“Again?” Taekwoon asked softly, against Hongbin’s cheek. Hongbin rolled his hips, and Taekwoon’s eyes fluttered.  
  
“Again.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i know it had been a little while since i have updated but i hope this is worth the wait(?)  
> please tell me if you liked it!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t know who I am anymore,” Hongbin confessed, and Taekwoon held him tighter.

Taekwoon had woken up early. Too early; Hongbin’s clock told him it was 5:00AM. Considering there was a very faint light shining through the blinds, Taekwoon rather thought he should be asleep. Though, the sky the pale colour of forget-me-nots, he sat up and took the time to look at Hongbin beside him.  
  
Hongbin was curled up and laying on his side, face pressed half into the pillow. His mouth was open, and his caramel hair tousled across his face. His dark roots had begun to show, and Taekwoon idly wondered if Hongbin would get them re-done, let them grow, or dye his hair darker. He looked so tired; bags weighed down his cheeks, his features puffy.  
  
 His heat had been hard for him. Even if Hongbin hadn’t said so, Taekwoon could feel it. He knew Hongbin hated the idea of not being coherent or lucid.  
  
However it gave Taekwoon a feeling of contentment that Hongbin trusted him wholeheartedly with helping him through his heat. He hoped soon that Hongbin was no longer vulnerable and that he didn’t have to worry about having to rely on anyone else. Taekwoon knew that Hongbin’s independence meant a lot to him.  
  
Taekwoon knew that underneath the sheets that Hongbin was naked. Now, he knew every crevice of his body, had kissed every part imaginable, knew how Hongbin keened when he touched certain places. His eyes trailed down the shape of his body that raised the blanket over him. He felt his wolf tremble, and he wondered how he got so lucky.  
  
Perhaps his feelings swelled too fondly, for Hongbin stirred. It was always hard to keep the other asleep when one was already awake. Taekwoon made a small noise of concern when Hongbin lifted himself up. He raised his hand to coerce Hongbin to lay back down, but as always, Hongbin was stubborn.  
  
Hongbin, skin soft with sleep, leant in to touch noses and foreheads with Taekwoon. Taekwoon shuddered down to his toes when feeling the love and warmth Hongbin sent him, and his face pinched. It was overwhelming to experience how much Hongbin loved him. 

Hongbin slumped – his movements lethargic – onto Taekwoon’s chest. His head tucked into his shoulder. “I want to go home.”  
  
_Home._ Taekwoon wrapped an arm around him. His eyes widened. His other hand slid into Hongbin’s hair. “Aren’t we already at home?”  
  
“No.” A warmth that Hongbin hadn’t sent washed through him. Hongbin thought of the _pack house_ as his home. Hongbin looked up. He had felt the spike of emotion from his mate. “No, I… I mean at… your home. With Hakyeon, and Jaehwan and Hyuk. I miss them.”  
  
“My home is your home?” Taekwoon asked softly. He sounded so small, almost nervous. His hand that had been running through his hair cupped his cheek, and Hongbin had to sigh fondly.  
  
“No, Taekwoon,” and Hongbin raised his hand, covering Taekwoon’s hand with his own. “ _You_ are my home. And if your home is back at the pack house, then that is my home too.”  
  
“Oh,” and Hongbin could feel through their touch, how happy Taekwoon was. He grinned, leaning over once more to kiss him. When Hongbin pulled away, Taekwoon looked up and blinked slowly.  
  
“You’re better,” Taekwoon said.  
  
“Yeah,” Hongbin had to agree, but he frowned, “I’m really tired though, why are you up?”  
  
Taekwoon gave a gentle shrug. Fingertips caressed Hongbin’s skin, dragging down his face, to his neck. A touch of longing. “I cannot say. We don’t need to be out of bed, so why don’t we stay like this for a little longer?”  
  
Hongbin leant into the touch. It had been only them for so long, in their own little world. It was as if his apartment was floating in space, and there was nothing to be seen if you were to open the door or look out the windows. The apartment was all that Hongbin had needed, but now that his mind was clearer, he was able to remember the world outside.

 “Sounds nice,” Hongbin whispered. There was no need to raise his voice; he knew Taekwoon would understand him, even if he couldn’t hear. Their souls were one. “I should… go back to sleep.”  
  
Taekwoon hummed fondly, watching Hongbin unwind his muscles. Taekwoon shuffled down onto the bed for him, so Hongbin could curl around his side, his head on the soft of Taekwoon’s tummy.

 “Maybe later today, if you’re feeling better…” Taekwoon told him gently, “we can go back to the house.”  
  
“I’d like that,” Hongbin replied softly.

 Taekwoon knew that Hongbin was content like this. That he adored when Taekwoon thread his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp and the nape of his neck. It made them both happy, to simply be in each other’s presence like this. They were content to pretend that they were drifting in space for a little longer yet.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Taekwoon! Hongbin!” They were greeted with Hakyeon’s exclaims when they opened the door. Hakyeon had raced down the stairs like a puppy excited for his owner’s return.  
  
Hongbin smiled as Hakyeon held Taekwoon first, burying his face into Taekwoon’s non-claim shoulder. Hakyeon seemed to exhale shakily, and Taekwoon held Hakyeon as gentle as always.  
  
“Welcome home,” he heard Hakyeon say, muffled against Taekwoon’s shirt. Taekwoon sighed sweetly, running his hand down Hakyeon’s back. Their embrace felt like one of two lovers, but Hongbin was unperturbed.

 “Oh, you’re back.” He heard Jaehwan from the archway going into the living room, and Hongbin smiled, stepping forward. He still felt weak, like his legs might collapse under him, but he knew that Taekwoon would catch him if he fell.  
  
When he saw Jaehwan, he went to hug him, only to hear the tiny peep of a kitten. He faltered, staring down at Jaehwan’s hands. The kitten was tiny, fit in the palm of Jaehwan’s hand, and Hongbin faltered. “Oh—oh it’s—so—“  
  
“Small?” Jaehwan grinned. His other hand held a tiny bottle. “They’re all orphans. Their mother died and someone found them and gave them to the café. I had my vet look at them and they’re alright. They just need looking after.”  
  
Hongbin carefully pet the kitten, soft grey fur and bright blue eyes. His heart melted, “Taekwoon is going to be happy,” Hongbin whispered, and Jaehwan laughed.  
  
“He always is when I bring kittens home.”  
  
“Hongbin,” Hongbin turned to Hakyeon’s embrace. Hakyeon smelled so comforting, his arms squeezing to the point Hongbin laughed breathlessly. He held Hakyeon back. Perhaps it was Taekwoon’s magic influencing him, but Hakyeon smelled like home.  
  
They were home.  
  
He looked up at Taekwoon from over Hakyeon’s shoulder, and they met eyes. Hongbin loved him so much.  
  
When Hakyeon broke away, he cupped Hongbin’s face, “your magic is stronger. It might be why you feel so drained. But… other than that, do you feel better?”  
  
Hongbin blinked. He stared at Hakyeon, and by Hakyeon’s concerned gaze, Hongbin understood. “Yes,” he murmured. He didn’t feel as awful about who he was, anymore. The self-loathing had turned more to acceptance, perhaps. He hoped so. Hongbin felt exhausted after that conclusion, like all those years of hating who he was were beginning to crash onto land like waves. “Yes I… feel better, I think.”  
  
Taekwoon moved forward, the movement smooth and gentle, running his hand through Hongbin’s hair. What was left of their heat had them craving touch, and in that moment, Hongbin wanted to cry. He settled against Taekwoon’s side instead. “Is Sanghyuk home?”  
  
Hakyeon blinked, face softening. He looked at them both when he replied, “yes,” he motioned up the stairs. “I think he is feeding some of the kittens that Jaehwan brought home.”  
  
Taekwoon perked at that, and looked over to Jaehwan with the kitten. Hongbin smiled, feeling the spike of emotion that Taekwoon had.

 

 

 

Hongbin knocked on the door, and opened it quietly.  
  
Looking into Hyuk’s room, the first thing he noticed was that Hyuk had decorated his room. Had changed his bedspread to one he had owned, rather one of Hakyeon’s. He had books piled on the dresser, and some action figurines, posed dramatically. He even had a map of the world tacked onto the wall. Seeing that saddened Hongbin; he knew how much Sanghyuk loved history, and loved his courses.  
  
“Sanghyuk?”

  
Sanghyuk flinched, looking up. He had a row of kittens on his bed, most of them sleeping or at least snuffling around. The kittens looked way too young to think about doing much else. Sanghyuk’s face was comically surprised, “Hongbin?”  
  
Hongbin laughed as Sanghyuk’s long limbs climbed off the bed, and crashed into Hongbin for a hug. Hongbin laughed when Sanghyuk held him to his chest.  
  
“You’re still warm,” Sanghyuk noted. It still felt quite surreal, to smell that Hongbin was an omega. Strongly, too. He wondered if Hongbin was fully – well, back to normal, for the lack of better term. He squeezed Hongbin as he added, “I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.”  
  
He looked over Hongbin’s shoulder to see Taekwoon staring at him. It was a little unnerving, but Sanghyuk guessed, perhaps, it was because he was an Alpha hugging Hongbin at the end of his heat. He swallowed; Taekwoon’s magic was oppressive as always, and Sanghyuk shrank in a little and broke the hug.  
  
“I missed you too,” Hongbin said, and Sanghyuk shook himself, looking down at Hongbin and smiled.  
  
“The house felt pretty empty without you both,” Sanghyuk admitted, though took a step back when Taekwoon strode forward. He blinked in surprise when Taekwoon hugged him, gentle and secure. It was an odd feeling to be held by another Alpha in this way, but somehow, it was comforting. Like Sanghyuk had someone stronger to rely on.  
  
“I’m sorry we couldn’t be there when you had to go to hospital,” Taekwoon sounded so concerned, and it had Sanghyuk’s eyes widen. He broke away to look into Taekwoon’s eyes. They were so sincere and gentle; a look that he had seen Taekwoon give to Hakyeon or Hongbin, but never Sanghyuk. “Are you feeling alright?”  
  
“Yeah, I—I… I’m better than before.” Sanghyuk murmured. He felt dumbstruck. “The doctor gave me medication.”  
  
Taekwoon nodded. He rested a hand on Sanghyuk’s shoulder, the touch heavy but warm. “Now that we are both back, I can help you with your shifting.”  
  
“T-Thanks, Taekwoon,” Sanghyuk felt small. Taekwoon ruffled his hair, and turned to Hongbin. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few beats, before Hongbin turned to Hyuk.  
  
“Taekwoon has to sell his car,” Hongbin began, eyes sparkling, “and arrange the camping ground, things like that. We’ll also need tents.”  
  
Taekwoon looked amused, and Hongbin nudged him. Sanghyuk didn’t understand where this was going.  
  
“He wants you to come with,” Hongbin supplied. “You know, Alpha bonding time.”

 “Oh,” Sanghyuk warmed at that. Taekwoon’s gaze on him felt like a spotlight.  
  
“You don’t have to, of course,” Taekwoon said softly, grounding Sanghyuk. “But I would like to spend time with you. You are the person I feel like I have spent the least time with.”  
  
Sanghyuk looked at Hongbin, “what… what about you?”  
  
Hongbin deflated. “I have to catch up with assignments, I got extensions because of my heat but now I don’t have an excuse to do them anymore.”  
  
Taekwoon laughed and shook him endearingly, and Hongbin pushed him away. It looked as if their relationship had really come far. It felt like yesterday when Sanghyuk took Hongbin to the café.

 “Would that be alright?” Taekwoon asked softly, gaze kinder than it had ever been.  
  
Sanghyuk had to shake himself, but nodded, “yeah I—I think that’d be nice.”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, and then walked into Sanghyuk’s room, past him. He sat on Sanghyuk’s bed, staring at the tiny kittens. “Can I… pick one up?”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked. “U-Uh yeah, sure. They should be hungry, so you can probably feed it. Here’s the mix I made,” and he hands Taekwoon a bottle, who was so sweetly gentle as he scooped up one of the babies with a single hand, and eased the teat of the bottle into one’s mouth.

 “Darling,” Hongbin murmured, from the doorway. Taekwoon looked up first, and then Sanghyuk after. It felt strange to Sanghyuk for Hongbin to use pet names like that.  
  
“Mm?” Taekwoon hums.  
  
“I’m going downstairs, give me longing if you want me,” and Hongbin turns away, his fingertips brushing against the doorframe as he makes his way downstairs and out of sight.  
  
Taekwoon’s stare lingered, and was roused by whatever thought he had by one of the kittens wailing. He jerked, and his attention immediately shifted to feeding the kitten. He laughed softly to see some of the milk surrounding its mouth.  
  
“What does Hongbin mean by… giving you ‘longing’?” Sanghyuk asked softly, re-positioning one of the kittens.  
  
Taekwoon didn’t look up, but his tone was soft, kind. “Hongbin and I can send emotions to each other. I can send him… the feeling that I love him, and miss him, and he will understand.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s cheeks reddened, feeling flushed down to his neck. “Oh,” he mumbled. “I guess that is a – a soulmate thing, not a normal mate thing.”  
  
“Yes,” Taekwoon said softly, “but… with normal mates, you are certainly more in tune to your mate’s emotions. You are able to read them better. Telepathy in any form is usually reserved for soulbonds.”  
  
It felt like there was so much he didn’t know. Lupology was a field of many questions and little answers. It had always interested Sanghyuk – really, the study of the magic that came from the old animal spirits was interesting to most, but soul-bonds were really… something. “Have you heard about other things that soul-mates could do?”  
  
Taekwoon seemed to consider it for a moment. He removed the teat from the kitten’s mouth, and went on to take another that had been squirming. “Hakyeon and Ravi sent images and memories to each other… but I have heard about soul-bonds where they could speak telepathically… some have been rumoured to even switch consciousness’s.”  
  
“As in—like—Hongbin could go into your body and yours into Hongbin’s?”  
  
“Yes,” Taekwoon replies, looking up for a brief time. “It scientifically makes sense. For once you are properly bonded, you share the same magic. And your soul is—very entwined with that magic. Two threads sewn, tied to the same needle.”  
  
“Is that why… Hongbin smells like an Alpha sometimes?”  
  
Taekwoon hums in affirmation.

  
“I haven’t smelled Omega off you yet. But it could happen, right?”  
  
Taekwoon smiled, still looking down, “you like the sound of that.”  
  
Sanghyuk huffed, “it would—take the ease off for a while.”  
  
“I do not have to be an omega for you to experience that. We will work on it.” And he looked up and smiled. Sanghyuk could only nod, biting down on his lip.  
  
There was silence for a few moments, only for Taekwoon to perk up a bit. “Oh, back in the wild, one of my packmates insisted they met a couple who could predict the future of the other. Would have visions. And that he met another that could tune in to the senses of the other. Could see what they were seeing, could hear what they were hearing. But I doubt the eligibility of his claims.”  
  
Sanghyuk sat in awe. “That’s awesome.”  
  
Taekwoon’s face softened, though his expression was was solemn. “Yes… it is truly something special… but it comes with a great price.”  
  
Sanghyuk leans in. “What do you mean?”  
  
Taekwoon frowned, a tiny crease between his brows, as he looked away. “Look at Hakyeon,” he murmured.

 

 

 

 

 

Hongbin found Hakyeon in the kitchen.  
  
“Wonshik has a coffee machine, so if he moves in, we can have it.”  
  
“Oh thank god, I can stop using those awful sachets.”  
  
“Hongbin!” Hakyeon turned, his smile genuine. Hongbin felt a little startled to be greeted with such love. Hakyeon grabbed his hand, and gracefully pulled him into the conversation.

 Jaehwan snorted, “where’s your shadow?”  
  
Hongbin motioned upstairs with his eyes. “With Sanghyuk.”  
  
Jaehwan and Hakyeon gave each other a sappy look. They both looked indescribably fond at the prospect. Hongbin couldn’t help but agree. There was nothing more they wanted than all of them to get along, and that included their two alphas.  
  
Hongbin turned to Hakyeon, “I wondered if I could talk to you about something,” and Hakyeon’s eyebrows raised. Hongbin felt nervous, all of a sudden. “About Taekwoon’s birthday.”  
  
“Oh,” Hakyeon squeezed Hongbin’s hand. Hongbin hadn’t even realised that Hakyeon was still holding it. Hakyeon lead him away, and Hongbin was glad for it. He felt flushed with embarrassment.  
  
Hakyeon lead him out to the back patio. Their backyard was very small, and most of it had been taken over by Jaehwan growing vegetables and herbs. Though, there were often a lot more bugs here at night, and the lighting was not as good, so the balcony was certainly favoured as an outside hang-out spot.  
  
In the day time it was rather nice, and Hakyeon looked lovely surrounded by the forest greens and autumn oranges. They sat on the edge of the patio. Hongbin felt like a child as he did so. He was even sitting next to Jaehwan’s yellow gum boots.  
  
“I always liked it here.” Hakyeon said softly. “It looks a lot prettier now than when we first moved in. That said, it seems all the plants have begun to wither.”  
  
Hongbin blinked. It was true. Some of the leaves had remained green through the autumn, but they looked brittle, limp.  
  
“Winter,” Hongbin realised belatedly.  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon breathes softly. He looked at the plants, clearly thinking about something that Hongbin was clueless of. There was still so much about Hakyeon he felt he didn’t know well. A small silence fell between them, not uncomfortable, but a soft lull.  
  
“I—I told Taekwoon to spend time with Sanghyuk, because I have assignments, and while I do have assignments – it’s really so… you can teach me that dance.” Hongbin flushed, looking down at his shoes. “We need time, and I don’t want Taekwoon finding out.”  
  
When he looked back up at Hakyeon, Hakyeon was smiling at him. “It should work well. I’ve already asked to rent out one of the smaller dance rooms at the university. Most mid-term performance projects are large groups, so it will be fine.”  
  
Hongbin chewed on his lip. So Hakyeon had really arranged it, and they were really doing this. It must have been obvious how nervous he was, for Hakyeon leant over, cupping Hongbin’s cheek and tilting his face up. They met eyes for a moment.  
  
“You have grown into a fine omega, since we met. You have come a long way,” he said softly. “I’m proud of you.”  
  
“What do you mean a fine omega?” Hongbin stared at Hakyeon for a moment, before removing Hakyeon’s hand. He swallowed. “As in… I’ve submitted to my Alpha?” Hongbin added in disbelief. Hakyeon lowered his hand.  
  
“I wouldn’t… word it like that, but I suppose, that yes. You have gone from hating the prospect of having an Alpha mate to mating with him, it is a big step, Hongbin—“  
  
Hongbin breathed in shakily. Hakyeon’s words made Hongbin seethe, “I’ve mated with him, and so become obedient? That I gave in to my heat and was _bred?”  
_  
Hakyeon sighed, “no, Hongbin, I just meant—“  
  
“But you did mean it, didn’t you? Why—why couldn’t I have just grown as a person? Why put my caste into this?”  
  
“It’s alright to be an omega, Hongbin, there’s nothing wrong with it—“  
  
“Maybe to you! But it’s—it’s not okay with me. It’s never been okay with me,” Hongbin’s heart hurt. His face creased, lip trembling. “I thought maybe it’d be okay now but—it’s not—I’m not—“  
  
“Hongbin, but you were beginning to accept that part of yourself, you’re just running from your problems again.”  
  
Hongbin stood up, and walked back into the house.  
  
He hated being angry with Hakyeon, almost as much as he hated being angry at Taekwoon, but he couldn’t help it. A _fine omega._ Way to tell him that Hongbin had finally became what he had loathed.  
  
That’s right.  
  
Taekwoon had fucked him during his heat, and if he had reproductive organs, he’d be classified as being _bred._ A bred omega, doing their job. Doing their function. But as a man? As someone without reproductive organs? It meant even less. Omega magic was traditionally only for women, but overtime, it bled into other sexes, as well as Alphas. Omega men had heats to be fucked, because the magic was a driving force to reproduce. That’s all he was meant for. To be fucked. Hongbin was shaking. _A fine omega._ What utter bullshit.

 Hongbin was now outside again, but at the front of the house. He needed a walk, to calm down before Taekwoon found him. He knew Taekwoon would have felt the spike of emotion, but he couldn’t deal with seeing him right now. It felt like if he had to say the things he was thinking out loud, he might cry, and that’d cause a scene in the house.

 He wiped his nose, feeling his eyes water.  
  
He had walked down the street before he knew it and the cold air making him shiver. He was only wearing a thin sweater that smelled like Taekwoon, and Hongbin hated thinking about how the smell of Alpha calmed his instincts. Taekwoon was not his _Alpha,_ Taekwoon was not _above_ him, Taekwoon was… his partner. His soulmate. His lover. His best friend. Hongbin’s lip trembled, and his arms curled around himself.

 

His _best_ _friend._

 

There was a café around the corner, if he kept walking. Maybe he’d be able to escape the cold. Luckily he hadn’t taken his wallet out of his pocket when they came back to the pack house.  
  
He was clearly the one most under-dressed. Everyone in the café was wearing thicker jackets. It was late afternoon now.  
  
Hongbin ordered a hot chocolate, and sat in the corner in a booth. He’d never been here before, but it was nice. The café’s colours were rich, deep mahoganies and forest browns, abstract paintings on the wall. The tip jar had been a hand-crafted bowl with a cat etched into it. He could imagine Jaehwan liking it. He could imagine them all here, talking over drinks. Jaehwan would probably buy fondue, Hongbin thought idly. He could see Sanghyuk’s bright smile across the table from him, if he thought about it.  
  
God, he was such a sulk.  
  
There was a small chime at the door, identical to the noise it made when Hongbin entered. He didn’t need to look up to know it was Taekwoon. He just knew: the magic’s butterfly wings had begun to flutter softly under his skin. Hongbin still didn’t look up, and he felt awful. Taekwoon wasn’t the one he was upset at. He wasn’t really upset at anyone.  
  
He was upset at himself.  
  
Taekwoon said nothing as he lowered himself into the seat opposite. Taekwoon was usually taciturn, but he knew being quiet was on purpose, this time. Taekwoon rested something on the table between them, and Hongbin looked up dully at it. A jacket. One of Taekwoon’s, since Hongbin’s jackets were all in his apartment.  
  
Their fingertips brushed when Hongbin took it, sliding it on without a word.  
  
It was warm, and smelled like Taekwoon. He brought his nose to the collar, and his face pinched.  
  
Why did Taekwoon’s smell give him so much comfort? Was it his wolf’s need to feel protected? Safe? Was it that he simply loved Taekwoon? Hongbin’s mouth trembled against the collar, before ducking his head in shame. He felt Taekwoon’s alarm, and felt movement, and then felt Taekwoon’s arms, circling around him.  
  
Taekwoon was now sitting next to him, holding Hongbin who dug his face into his shoulder. Hongbin inhaled, an awful, shaky sound.  
  
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” Hongbin confessed, and Taekwoon held him tighter.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon murmured. He meant it, too, down to his bones. Hongbin could feel the sincerity flow through him, but the emotion was only met with guilt. He knew Taekwoon likely thought that Hongbin wouldn’t be having a crisis if they hadn’t met.  
  
“It’s not your fault,” Hongbin whispered. They broke away. Hongbin’s cheeks were pink and watery, eyelashes wet from tears. “It’s—it’s only my fault. It’s not Hakyeon’s – he just… reminded me of something… that’s ugly within myself.”  
  
Hongbin shook his head when Taekwoon sent him an involuntary feeling of reassurance.  
  
“My self-doubt… is ugly. My self-hatred is ugly, Taekwoon. It’s not like I want it. I don’t like suffering from it.” Hongbin continued to look down, unable to look into Taekwoon’s eyes. He felt he’d only cry again. “I want to be with you, and I want to… be comforted by your presence, and your scent, and your voice… and not have it be because I’m an omega. I want it to be because I’m me. And that I’m in love with you.”  
  
Hongbin’s eyes were wide, lost. “But no matter how hard I try, my wolf isn’t going anywhere. And I hate it, Taekwoon. I hate how reliant it makes me want to be. How dependant. How—how—“ and Hongbin’s voice contorts again. Taekwoon was obviously at a loss – he took Hongbin’s hands in his own. Hongbin’s hands were so small compared, and even the sight of that made him feel upset.  
  
“We are not our wolves,” Taekwoon said softly, “we have said that to each other countless times.”  
  
“But we are,” Hongbin replied, a hushed whisper in the café. “We are, though, aren’t we? Why else would you have the instinct to be in a pack? We wouldn’t even be soul bonded without our wolves. We wouldn’t do half the shit we do, or think, or feel. We are our wolves, Taekwoon. We can do our best that they don’t over-ride our actions, but at the end of the day, they’re pulling the strings.”  
  
Hongbin looked down at his hands, as if he could see the strings, tied to every finger, every knuckle. “I went to self-loathing to—acceptance to—loathing again. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, and that scares me.”  
  
“You were used to who you were,” Taekwoon says softly, wary of the customers in the café. “You had a narrow-minded view of yourself and the world, Hongbin, and now that very world has shaken underneath you, and turned itself over.”  
  
Hongbin stared up at him, at a loss.  
   
“But it also means that now, you have a clear slate. If you do not know who you are, doesn’t that mean it is time to start learning? Perhaps now you will know who you truly are, and who you are meant to be.”

Are _meant_ to be. “An omega?” Hongbin pulls back, though Taekwoon cups his face.  
  
“No,” Taekwoon said firmly. “No, Hongbin. You are an omega. But you are also so much more. Find just how much more you are. There are part of ourselves that would not change no matter what caste we are slotted in. I can see it in you, but it is time you find it for yourself.”  
  
Taekwoon removed his hands from Hongbin’s face, and lowered them to rest in Hongbin’s hands instead. Hongbin did not pull away this time, and they said nothing. Taekwoon sent him a gentle nudge of love, like a broken wave washing up to his ankles.

 

Hongbin fell forward, his head falling on Taekwoon’s shoulder, and exhaled hard. The sound was resigned, and Taekwoon rubbed his hand down his back.  
  
“We should head back,” Hongbin mumbled.  
  
“You haven’t had your hot chocolate.”  
  
Hongbin turned to look at it. He broke away to cup the mug. It was still warm, and Hongbin took a long sip, before handing it to Taekwoon.  
  
“Finish it, if you want,” Hongbin murmured. Taekwoon happily did so, licking his lips after. Hongbin watched him, and couldn’t help but smile. He was so sweet, so endearing, and Hongbin loved him. He truly, truly did.

   
“We should come back sometime,” Taekwoon said softly, a hand slipped into Hongbin’s as they left the café. “Jaehwan likes the fondue here.”  
  
They both shuddered, but not from the magic – from the cold, and Hongbin looked up at the rolling white clouds.  
  
“Looks like it is going to rain,” Hongbin said softly, and Taekwoon came to Hongbin’s side, almost like a child.  
  
“I didn’t bring an umbrella,” Taekwoon moped, and Hongbin could only smile. They walked down the road together, through the suburbia, parked cars. Past a tiny Pomeranian behind a big fence that yapped as they walked past. Taekwoon grinned at it.  
  
They rounded the corner, when Hongbin stopped, staring up at the sky.  
  
“Taek,” Hongbin whispered.  
  
“Mm?” Taekwoon hummed, broken out of his thoughts. He looked down at Hongbin, to see him extending a hand.  
  
“It’s snowing,” Hongbin whispered.  
  
Taekwoon looked up in disbelief.

 Truly, it was: picturesque, the scenery from an old romance drama that Hongbin remembered watching on his grandmother’s VHS. On a road lined with orange trees, traffic signs painted pastel, Hongbin’s nose and cheeks tinted pink in the cold. Snow cascading gently from the heavens, meeting the ground, their skin, their hair, like the soft kiss of a lover.  
  
“The first snow,” Taekwoon whispered. Taekwoon stared down at Hongbin, who was collecting the snow with his hand.  
  
“It’s early November,” Hongbin was saying, but his voice was off, like a dream. “It’s so early for the first snow.”  
  
Hongbin wasn’t able to elaborate, for Taekwoon had kissed him. So gentle, a press of lips, a hand on the small of his back. The magic blanketed them with love, and Hongbin felt dizzy when Taekwoon pulled away.  
  
“I’ve always wanted to kiss someone on the first snow,” Taekwoon murmured breathlessly, “and it’s my soulmate, no less.”  
  
Hongbin bit his lip, trying to hide his smile. He grabbed Taekwoon’s hand, and said with a smile, “Let’s just get home before I catch a cold.”  
  
Taekwoon could only smile fondly as Hongbin half dragged him down the street.

 

 

  
They returned home, and they both felt a sigh of relief at the warmth inside. Someone had definitely cranked up the heaters.  
  
“Hongbin,” rang Hakyeon’s voice quietly. Hongbin turned his head to look over at the alleyway. Hakyeon’s face was more serious despite the soft pink of the sweater he’d slung on.  
  
Taekwoon squeezed Hongbin’s hand. Hongbin frowned, taking a breath, “look, Hakyeon, I’m so—“  
  
Hakyeon raised his hand. A very authoritative gesture, and Hongbin’s voice cut off as if Hakyeon had pulled the words out of his mouth. Hongbin swallowed, as Hakyeon lowered his hand.  
  
“No, I should be the one that should be apologizing,” Hakyeon said slowly, lacing his fingers together at his front. “What I said was… tactless. I did not mean for it to sound how it did. But I… see how it could be taken like that,” Hakyeon’s eye contact dropped, pressing his lips together. He looked troubled, regretful. “I wanted to express that I am proud of you for overcoming your fears… for discovering yourself and taking risks. You have done your best to maintain true to yourself despite your life changing so quickly, and remaining strong. That is—what I meant by a fine omega. My mother had always drilled into me that… an omega was not about being bred, but it was about being a nurturer. Someone who keeps everyone together, and makes sure they are true to themselves—I--” Hakyeon swallowed, and he smiled apologetically. “I’m rambling. I just don’t want you to think that I have ever thought you as weak, Hongbin.”  
  
Hongbin blinked when he saw Hakyeon’s eyes begin to water, and he immediately broke the distance between them to hold him. Hakyeon’s mouth trembled, and he physically hesitated before holding Hongbin back.  
  
“It should be me comforting you,” Hakyeon confessed softly. They broke away.  
  
“No it’s—it’s alright. I over-reacted… I think you just made me realise that I still have a lot of problems with myself, and I reacted badly. I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

 

Hakyeon nodded sadly, his smile wry.

 

 

 

 

Taekwoon sadly looked at his car just as they’d sold it. It didn’t sell for much – hell, Taekwoon didn’t buy it for much – but it had gone through a lot. He’d driven into the city with it, he’d taken Hakyeon to his first job. When he was angry or upset, he’d take it for a long drive to clear his mind. Driving was something he could very rarely do in the wild, and it was something he enjoyed. He sighed loudly.  
  
“We’ll make more memories with our new car. All –“ Sanghyuk hesitated, “six of us, most likely.”  
  
Taekwoon simply nodded, staring at the car with what felt like the last time he’d ever see it. They’d taken everything out of it this morning. Taekwoon had found some old clothes he had been looking for, and had removed the swaying cat from the dashboard. He’d definitely put it on the dashboard of the van.  
  
“If you wish to come with me,” the car salesman directed “we’ve filed in your paperwork, so we can look at our collection of vans.”  
  
Taekwoon seemed reluctant to leave the car, but gave it a sad little pat before following Sanghyuk.  


 

  
“Can you pump the heater up?” Hongbin asked. He was wearing shorts, and he hadn’t thought about it at the time but he should have brought sweat pants instead. Hakyeon gave a small smile and moved to find the remote for the air conditioner.  
  
“Thanks,” Hongbin said, voice shuddering.  
  
Hakyeon was wearing tights and an old t-shirt, and beckoned Hongbin to come over.  
  
“This dance,” Hakyeon said, looking a little nervous. “It’s – there’s actually a lot of circular movements, so it works very well to be taught mirrored.”  
  
He gave a little knowing smile, though didn’t elaborate. “So, what you can do is actually mirror me as we dance. And I’ll help you as we go.”  
  
Hongbin nodded, looking shy. “Do you think… do you think you could do the dance first? So I’ll know what I’ll be learning?”  
  
Hakyeon blinked. He definitely looked nervous then, and turned jerkily, “yes that’s—a good idea.”  
  
“Hakyeon?”  
  
Hakyeon frowned, “it’s alright. I just haven’t – danced at all, since Ra –“ he swallowed, “since he died.”  
  
“Ah…” Hongbin stared down between them, “look, Hakyeon, if it’s going to be painful for you, we can do something else.”  
  
“No,” Hakyeon cut him off, and determinedly walked into the middle of the dance room. “No, I am the only one who can teach you, and this is important for showing your gratitude to the Gods for your bond.”  
  
Did Hakyeon feel gratitude anymore? Hongbin wondered idly, as he sat down onto the ground. Hakyeon positioned himself, and then he moved.  
  
He moved gracefully, like a blossom softly falling from its branch. It was difficult for Hongbin to come up with a way to describe how fluid his movements were, like his bones were wind. Hakyeon was right, he danced in circles as if there were a clear line on the ground he was tracing with his feet. He jumped and spun, and held out his hand as he walked around in a circle as if there was an imaginary person holding it. Hongbin supposed it was all symbolic for the partner he was thanking for.  
  
The dance ended with Hakyeon - for the first time - stepping into the imaginary circle he had drawn, though as soon as he made the movement to step in, there was a flash of gold and white.  
  
Hongbin flinched back and yelled. A humanoid-shape had been made with golden butterflies that had sprouted out of thin air. Hongbin somehow immediately knew it as bond magic, even though he’d never seen it take a physical form. The humanoid shape had been holding Hakyeon’s hands in the mirror image of himself, before dispersing as quickly as it had come. As the butterflies collapsed into the air, Hakyeon slowly took a step back, his hands shaking.  
  
His legs buckled.  
  
Hongbin scrambled over, and slid into Hakyeon, pressing Hakyeon against his chest. Hakyeon had begun to sob into his hands like a child, fingers trembling. “I saw him—I saw his face, he was smiling at me.”  
  
“Ravi?” Hongbin whispered.  
  
“The Gods must have let me see him again, God he’s – he’s right here, Hongbin,” and Hakyeon held his hands to his heart, curling over as if he’d gotten heart burn. “He’s right here.”  
  
Some time past, where Hongbin stubbornly held Hakyeon in his arms. Hakyeon’s crying had stopped, and his shaking had lessened.  
  
“Was that – magic?”  
  
Hakyeon removed himself from Hongbin’s arms. He stood up. “Yes – I – have never seen that before, the magic taking a corporeal form.”

“Do you think—you could do that again? Was that really Ravi?”  
  
Hakyeon took a moment to breathe in. “No—no that—that exhausted me. It felt like all my magic left me to produce that,” he swallowed. “I don’t think it was him. He’s gone...”  
  
“But…”  
  
“No it… I don’t know…” Hakyeon swallowed, staring up at the spot where the golden Ravi had stood. “I’ve never even heard about that happening. I’ll—I’ll need to read about it.”  
  
Hakyeon shakily got on his feet with Hongbin’s help. “Well, you’re not going to learn the dance with me … with me sitting down.”  
  
“Hakyeon, you don’t have to—“  
  
“You think I’m still kicking by not getting up after things like this?” Hakyeon scolded, though the tone was like a mother. He gestured the middle of the circle. "You’re learning this dance no matter what.”

Hakyeon got out a stick of chalk from his bag, and proceeded to draw a circle on the ground with it. Hongbin swallowed, and stepped inside when Hakyeon pointed at it.

 

 

 

Taekwoon snorted.  
  
“And then, when I finally found the tour guide, they’d already gone through the building I really wanted to go into. So I never got to see it.”  
  
Taekwoon’s mouth quirked, his eyes sparkled. “And which one was that?”  
  
“It was the –“  
  
“Hello gentleman, I have the Carnivorous Coyote on wholemeal, and the Steppe Sub on White. With a side of large onion rings.”  
  
Taekwoon lifted his hand at the mention of the Carnivorous Coyote, immediately looking at interest when he saw just how much bacon was just dripping in it. He hoped Hongbin wouldn’t feel the stomach ache he would have after this.  
  
Sanghyuk got his sub, which didn’t have nearly as much salad as he’d hoped. “Did we really have to go to a _wolf_ themed bar? The Arctic Melt? Really?”  
  
Taekwoon tried not to smile, as he popped an onion ring in his mouth. He sat back in his booth seat, relaxed. “I thought it was only fitting.”  
  
Sanghyuk huffed and took a bite of his sub. At least the ingredients were fresh. He picked out the olives, and wrinkled his nose when Taekwoon raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I’m not the head alpha. I don’t have to lead by example.”  
  
Taekwoon hummed amusedly, looking out of the window. Sanghyuk was getting used to that Taekwoon didn’t talk much. That it didn’t mean that Taekwoon was unhappy, but rather than the opposite.  
  
Sanghyuk blinked, lowering his sandwich. “I was talking about something.”  
  
Taekwoon turned to look back at Sanghyuk. “Yes,” He looked away in thought, “you were talking about… the place you wanted to go, but you couldn’t.” Taekwoon reached over to cut his burger in two.

“Oh, that’s right,” Sanghyuk straightened up. “I really wanted to go inside one of the brothels. Have you heard about Pompeiian brothels? They painted different positions on the walls, and some think it was like… an advertisement, you could choose what you wanted.”  
  
Sanghyuk’s cheeks were a little pink. Usually he’d be nervous to talk about this with someone, but he knew Taekwoon wanted to him to trust him. He knew Taekwoon wanted to be his friend. So he might as well be open, right?  
  
“There was a really famous one called the _Lupanar,_ which meant wolf den… and a prostitute was called a _lupa_ which means like a… female wolf... They must have been… really beautiful omegas…” Sanghyuk was definitely blushing now, looking down at his sub. “I-I heard they wrote a lot of graffiti too.”  
  
“Pompeiians… spoke Latin, right?”  
  
“Yeah. As well as a bunch of other languages.”  
  
“You could probably get Hakyeon to translate for you.”  
  
Sanghyuk swallowed. Could they not talk about sex and Hakyeon within the same conversation? He knew Taekwoon could see him blushing.  
  
“I—I know Hakyeon is fluent in Latin.” Sanghyuk replied, shoving an onion ring into his mouth. “He was my teacher.”  
  
“He’s fluent in a couple more languages,” Taekwoon frowned. “He speaks French too, I think. His one true talent, other than dancing, is he can pick up languages like that,” and Taekwoon snaps his finger.

“Hakyeon can dance?” _Hakyeon can speak French?_ Sanghyuk’s mind was reeling. How did Hakyeon have time to learn languages? Was Hakyeon some kind of romance expert? “Does he—do the tango or… swing, or something?”  
  
Sanghyuk was red as a beet now. Hakyeon would look great dancing to something like the tango. His _hips._ Or something fast and graceful like swing. Or—or ballet. God, ballet; he’d be so beautiful. Sanghyuk clutched his face, like the thought was killing him.  
  
“He danced for the Gods.” Taekwoon explained, as if Sanghyuk wasn’t having a mental breakdown. “It is a little like contemporary dance, where you use your body to express yourself. That is, at least, where contemporary dance derives from.”  
  
“I see…” Sanghyuk said quietly. “I didn’t know he danced.”  
  
“Well, he hasn’t danced in some time,” Taekwoon sighed, taking a sip of his water. He didn’t need coffee, the exhilaration of seeing their new van parked right outside – a pale blue, Sanghyuk had picked out – was keeping him on high alert already. His eyes returned to Sanghyuk, “he thinks the Gods have betrayed him.”  
  
Sanghyuk stared down. He took, perhaps, the saddest bite of a sandwich he’d ever taken in his life. He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I guess… I guess I can relate. I lost the will to study when Mum died,” he thought about the posters on his wall, the unread chapters of his textbooks. He wanted to be a historian. He wanted to study, he wanted to teach history, too. He wanted to be a teacher like Hakyeon, some day. Though right now, he couldn’t pick up the pencil. He couldn’t comprehend the complicated words in his textbook, the grammar of a new language. “I just need time, I guess. Maybe Hakyeon needs some too.”  
  
Taekwoon simply nodded. He looked down at his drink.  
  
“You love him very much,” Taekwoon said softly. He took a bite of his burger, before leaning back as he chewed.  
  
“I—“ Sanghyuk slumped back into his booth. “Yeah,” he looked down at his hands. “Yeah, I do. I… I sometimes wished I didn’t.”  
  
“Why?” Taekwoon sounded worried, which shocked Sanghyuk for a moment. He looked at Taekwoon as if it was obvious.  
  
“Well, because it would be simpler for everyone if I didn’t, right? I wouldn’t have to feel bad about it, Hakyeon wouldn’t be bothered by it… we could just be friends without it affecting either of us.”  
  
Sanghyuk could still feel how Hakyeon’s mouth felt on his, if he thought about it. He shook his head physically, as if trying to dispel the feeling. He was blushing again.  
  
“Maybe he’d… just date Wonshik, without feeling pity for me, or something.”  
  
“You do not know that.” Taekwoon shook his head gently. “You do not know that nothing will happen between you. Nor that anything will happen between him and Wonshik.”  
  
“What, why? Did he say something?”  
  
“No,” Taekwoon said truthfully. “As you said yourself, he needs time. This all has happened quickly, Sanghyuk. Suddenly there are more people living in our home. We are a pack, we have a new car… we… there’s more than just the two or three of us, at the dining table.”  
  
Sanghyuk frowned. He took, perhaps, the most frustrated bite of a sandwich he had ever taken. He spoke with his mouth full, “doesn’t mean it’s a great idea for me to—crush over him. To fantasise about -- being with him.”  
  
“Are you a virgin?”  
  
Sanghyuk almost dropped his sandwich. “What?” He spluttered, swallowing.  
  
“Have you had sex?” Taekwoon repeated, as if Sanghyuk had no idea what a _virgin_ was.  
  
“What—I—“ Sanghyuk gave a small, fake laugh, looking down at his sandwich. “Obviously—I have, I mean, tons, I was a… I was a _stud_ in high school.” He cleared his throat.  
  
“Uh huh,” Taekwoon very slowly ate an onion ring. There was the tiniest glint of amusement in his eyes that only grew with his words. “So you’ve never had sex. Is that why you’re interested in Hakyeon? Does an older, experienced man _excite_ you?”  
  
Sanghyuk flinched, fingers trembling, whispering a flustered, “shut up!”  
  
Taekwoon stared, and then he laughed, loud and clear. Sanghyuk almost stood up, trying to silence him. He threw an onion ring at Taekwoon’s face in panic. “I said _shut up_ , Taekwoon!”

When Taekwoon finally quietened himself, “I can give you some pointers with that too,” Taekwoon winked, only to giggle again. Oh god, he _winked._ Sanghyuk really felt like he was going to die.  
  
“I don’t need _pointers!”_ Sanghyuk shrieked. Taekwoon burst into laughter again, and his face was so bright and happy and unrestrained that Sanghyuk had to sit down, and try not to smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hongbin and Hakyeon both flinched when they heard a deafening horn blare right outside the window.  
  
“What the fuck!” Jaehwan shrieked from the kitchen. There was a sharp snap of the oven door closing. Hongbin and Hakyeon watched as Jaehwan tore the oven mits from his hands, throwing them onto the couch as he passed the living room and over to the front door. “If this is another one of those teenagers messing around again I swear to the Beta Gods I will—“ Jaehwan opened the door, and immediately his face lit up and he ran out the door.  
  
Hongbin and Hakyeon looked at each other as they heard Jaehwan exclaim, “I love the colour!”  
  
They both got up, and rounded over to the front door. Hongbin looked out to see Taekwoon leaning at the window of an 8-seater van, his smile bright and dazzling in the late afternoon sun. Sanghyuk, radiant and boyish, was sliding open the door from the inside for Jaehwan to climb through. Jaehwan was clambering into the back seat, and stretching across it. Hongbin and Hakyeon came down the steps of the porch, and Hakyeon followed Jaehwan into the van, climbing over the seat. Hongbin – as exciting as a new car was – only had eyes for Taekwoon, who looked so sweet bundled up in the drivers seat with a beanie pulled over his forehead.  
  
He came up to the window, kneeling down a bit to be eye level. Taekwoon looked up at him, “not coming in? It’s cold. You’re not wearing much.”  
  
Hongbin smiled with his eyes, helplessly so. He leaned in, kissing Taekwoon’s mouth. It felt like he hadn't seen him in so long. “I missed you.”  
  
Sanghyuk and Jaehwan both groaned dramatically, though Taekwoon pulled away, whacking Sanghyuk playfully in the side. It seemed their relationship had improved with even just one day of spending time together.  
  
“Alright, alright, I get it.” Sanghyuk whined, climbing out of the passenger seat and into the back of the van, where Hakyeon was sitting. It didn’t seem to be much of a conscious decision, but now that they were sitting next to each other, Sanghyuk was growing red. As Hongbin walked around the van of the car to climb onto the passenger seat, he saw Taekwoon’s little knowing smile at him in the rear view mirror. He looked stubbornly away.

“Where to?” Taekwoon asked. Everyone turned to look at him. Their leader.  
  
“Wherever you’d like to take us,” Hakyeon said softly, and Taekwoon smiled.

Sanghyuk watched as Hongbin put a hand on the stick shift, and Taekwoon put his hand over Hongbin’s, as they slid the car into Park into Drive together. It felt so natural, like they had done it so many times together. A pang of jealousy swept over him, and he looked over at Hakyeon’s hand.  
  
Maybe one day, Sanghyuk thought to himself. They just needed time. Both of them did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for such a long break between the two chapters! But this one is a bit longer than the others, so I hope it makes up for it! 
> 
> Thank you again, so much, for reading Bonds so far. I think we're about half way in the story now!
> 
> Please leave me comments for me to read and respond to, they really make my whole week!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Soulbonds… we share the same soul, don’t we? You and Taekwoon, technically, you are not different people. To the magic, to the Gods, you are the same. Do you understand so far?”
> 
> “Yeah,” Hongbin replies quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for being so patient with me. i know my updates are so few and far in between, so it makes me feel really grateful that people are willing to wait regardless. 
> 
> i think Hakyeon's playlist ( [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-fdpbkUTbDCAXPb-l0Ip4zi1UFSHezdQ) ) suits for this chapter, so if you like to listen to music as you read, I recommend that! 
> 
>  
> 
> *this chapter has _**trigger warnings ******_ ** **for  
> **  
> **  
>  \- implied mentions of suicide  
> \- heavy angst

 

 

 

 

“Where are we going?” Jaehwan asked, looking out the window. His hair was blown onto his face as the van winded up the mountain within one of the national parks.  
  
Taekwoon switched gears as he said quietly, “just a walk I know of. I thought it’d be nice to get out of the city for a bit.”  
  
Jaehwan tilted his head back on the seat and groaned, “it’s taking forever.”  
  
Taekwoon adjusted the rear-view mirror to look straight at Jaehwan, who was leaning back in agony. “We would have been there if you hadn’t begged me to turn back.”  
  
 Jaehwan shot up in his seat and remarked, “we just… _left!_ We didn’t even get to lock the house! Or put on some shoes!”  
  
Taekwoon gave a huff, and Hongbin laughed. Taekwoon looked over with stars in his eyes, and Hongbin raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Eyes on the road,” Hongbin murmured, and Taekwoon nodded jerkily.  
  
“Maybe Hongbin shouldn’t be on the passenger seat,” Sanghyuk said quietly, “he’s going to distract Taekwoon too much.”  
  
“Taekwoon is a good driver,” Hakyeon said with a smile on his face. Sanghyuk’s heart skipped, “you should trust him.”

 

Taekwoon eventually pulled up on a clearing on the side of the road, where wooden stairs trailed down into the forest. There was a visible path underneath, cutting through the undergrowth of the ferns and large roots winding through the earth. The soil looked damp, and the wood had dark splotches; it had rained earlier in the day.  
  
Jaehwan slid out of the van as soon as Taekwoon parked, stretching with his arms overhead. Sanghyuk clambered out after, limbs much too long for the confines of the car, and stumbled on the step. He turned to help Hakyeon out, but as Hakyeon took his hand, it seemed as if Hakyeon barely noticed the gesture. He was too captivated by his surroundings, and as he stood onto the gravel, he tilted his head back and took a deep breath through his nose.  
  
Sanghyuk watched him, and he said softly, “what does it smell like?”  
  
Hakyeon rolled his head slowly, long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. He looked beautiful, how the breeze ruffled his hair like the feathers of a finch. Sanghyuk wanted to touch it.  
  
“It smells like home.” Hakyeon confessed softly, his eyes opening to look at Taekwoon, who had met Hongbin by his door. Taekwoon had an arm looped around Hongbin, and the two seemed to be in their own little world like always. Hakyeon’s face fell into a sombre expression, and looked jerkily way, eyes lifting to Sanghyuk.  
  
“The boardwalk goes to a river,” Hakyeon explained. “I can hear it.”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked; he looked at Jaehwan, who shrugged. Hakyeon was already walking over to the steps, but found himself stopping before he could go down.  
  
Sanghyuk almost ran into him, hovering behind Hakyeon with concern.  
  
“Hakyeon,” Taekwoon spoke up, and Hakyeon looked back. “Do you want help down?”  
  
Hakyeon nodded, and Taekwoon held his hand gingerly. “I haven’t been to the wild since…”  
  
“I know,” Taekwoon replied quietly, squeezing his hand. “We should change that.”  
  
Taekwoon went down a step as he was looking at Hakyeon, and everyone flinched as soon as they heard Taekwoon’s shoe slip against the wood. He fell, and brought Hakyeon with him, but as they reacted in their panic, they shifted. They tumbled and fell onto the boardwalk as wolves.  
  
Hongbin physically reacted, hands lifting to his hair in fright as he felt Taekwoon’s impact on the side of his own body. He shivered. Sanghyuk went to look at him, but was distracted by the sound of Hakyeon’s laughter. They had shifted back into their human forms, and were now laying side by side on the panels of wood, smiling at each other.  
  
Sanghyuk glowed red.  
  
Jaehwan sighed, looking behind him towards the van before he came carefully down the steps, picking up Hakyeon’s pants which had dropped mid-shift.  
  
“There might be children here!” Jaehwan groaned, whacking Taekwoon with a sock he had picked up. “Don’t sully them!”  
  
They were both laughing as they stood up, collecting their clothes from Jaehwan. Sanghyuk saw Taekwoon look up and smile brilliantly at Hongbin, but his face creased with concern as soon as he saw Hongbin rubbing his side tenderly.  
  
Sanghyuk met eyes with Hakyeon as he took his shirt from Jaehwan, but Sanghyuk looked away abruptly. He jerkily bent down and passed Hakyeon his briefs, which Hakyeon wordlessly took from his hands.  
  
“Are you alright?” Taekwoon asked, side-stepping Sanghyuk to reach Hongbin.  
  
“You must have thought of me as you fell,” Hongbin mumbled, and Taekwoon pressed his fingers against Hongbin’s ribs. “You’re hurting.”  
  
“I’m not.”  
  
“This is your pain,” Hongbin remarked, pointedly put his hand on Taekwoon’s side. Taekwoon didn’t flinch, but instead looked up at him with a kindness Sanghyuk had never seen before.  
  
“You have a lower pain tolerance than I do,” he murmured, and Hongbin’s face twisted unhappily.  
  
“Please put some clothes on, Taekwoon,” interrupted Jaehwan, “think of the children.”  
  
“There are no children here,” Taekwoon replied coolly, without looking away from Hongbin.  
  
“Sanghyuk—Sanghyuk is a child!”  
  
“I’m twenty,” blinked Sanghyuk, but his age apparently did not dissuade Jaehwan. Sanghyuk turned to walk down the steps, and caught Hakyeon with his back turned, buttoning up his shirt. He ended up keeping the last one loose. Hakyeon offered a smile, though it immediately faltered seeing Taekwoon still naked.  
  
“Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said tersely, and Taekwoon sighed, picking up his pants.  
  
Hongbin smiled, lifting a hand to scratch the back of Taekwoon’s scalp in comfort. “You guys go ahead. We’ll catch up.”  
  
Jaehwan made a face, though coerced Sanghyuk further down the boardwalk as Hakyeon laughed quietly. “Quick, if we walk fast we won’t hear them snogging on the steps.”  
  
“Where does this path go to?” Sanghyuk asked as he was ushered by Jaehwan. He was whispering for a reason he didn’t quite understand.  
  
Hakyeon turned his head towards something, the motion not unlike a meerkat. He waited a moment, eyes searching for answers within the forest. “There’s a stream, ahead, if we keep going,” Hakyeon turned back to Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, who stared at him. Hakyeon simply smiled, “shall we continue?”  
  
“How do you know there’s a stream?”  
  
“I can sense it. There’s magic in the water.”  
  
Sanghyuk squeaked. “There’s such thing as _magical water?”  
_  
Hakyeon sighed. “Surely you learnt about Holy places in school? What do they teach in city schools?”  
  
Hyuk looked sheepish. “We learnt about it, I guess, but I didn’t think they were still around. You don’t really think about it, when you live in the city.”  
  
Hakyeon’s face creased unpleasantly, “it is very important to our history, it is sad that… these things aren’t valued as much anymore.”  
  
“It’s those pesky phones,” Jaehwan wailed in his best grandmother impersonation. Judging by Sanghyuk’s laughter, it was pretty good. “Relying too much on technology these days.”  
  
Hakyeon was trying not to smile, mouth twisting. His eyes sparkled with amusement, and Sanghyuk felt himself gravitate towards him, lean closer. Sanghyuk wanted to hold Hakyeon’s hand.  
  
“Can you take us there?” Sanghyuk asked quietly. He flinched when Hakyeon took his hand, cupping it chastely as if Sanghyuk were a child.  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied softly. They continued to walk through the forest, but the air was a chilly cold from the afternoon. Hakyeon shivered. “It is not a Holy place, the magic is not strong enough, but it is there. Perhaps it once was, but because so many people are likely going down this boardwalk, the magic is sifting out.”  
  
“Is that why there are less Holy places? Because people are near them too much?”  
  
“No, there are less Holy places because they had been destroyed as the city was being built, at least, in this region. Holy places will come and go, where one might fizzle out, another may appear, but only in nature. Those that are cared for… will remain for a long time.”  
  
Only the soft sounds of the forest replied to Hakyeon. Sanghyuk looked contemplative, and Jaehwan looked confused.  
  
“I learnt about… parents putting their sick children into Holy streams or lakes so they may heal…” Jaehwan added, looking at Hakyeon. Hakyeon regarded him silently, nodding.  
  
“Yes, the Gods heal the sick and weary,” Hakyeon replied, “most of them.”  
  
What Hakyeon had implied made the conversation lull for a moment. “Could they have helped my mother?” Sanghyuk asked quietly.  
  
Hakyeon frowned, “it is hard to say. Modern doctors don’t like to rely on magic or traditional methods, since modern medicine will work perfectly for most things,” Hakyeon squeezed Sanghyuk’s hand, “I am sorry, Sanghyuk. The Gods themselves are… imperfect. And we will never know what, or how, they think. Perhaps they simply rule, but do not plan how things will happen.”   
  
Sanghyuk’s hand trembled in Hakyeon’s, and Hakyeon slowly entwined their fingers, the grip tight and secure. Sanghyuk felt safe next to Hakyeon. Hakyeon made him feel like he could face anything, and he wondered that was how Ravi felt too.  
  
“I think I hear it,” Jaehwan gasped. He jogged down the side-walk, looking left and right, before stepping off the path and pushing past some shrubbery.  
  
“Jaehwan—“ Hakyeon called, already exasperated. Hakyeon sped up to chase after him, and Sanghyuk stubbornly held onto his hand. He didn’t want to let go just yet. They were having a _moment.  
  
_ Jaehwan had pushed stubbornly through the folage, and they found him squatting in front of, what was indeed, a stream. The water was perhaps glistening too much; the sun which dappled through the trees reflected so strongly against it it made Sanghyuk squint. Hakyeon pulled away, and was already taking his shoes off.  
  
Jaehwan was tentatively poking the water. “It feels carbonated. Like Pepsi.”  
  
“Or, you know, Coca-Cola,” Sanghyuk replied, lowering to his knees beside Jaehwan to dip his hand into the water. He gasped.  
  
“Pepsi is better than Coca-Cola,” Jaehwan replied breezily, and Sanghyuk made a face, splashing him with the water.  
  
“H-hey!” Jaehwan squawked, ducking his head.   
  
“It’s holy water. I’m purifying you of your pepsi sins,” Sanghyuk giggled, and screeched with laughter as Jaehwan kicked him with his bare foot, both of them falling onto their bums. Sanghyuk had fallen half into the water, the tips of his fringe now damp. He looked up to see Hakyeon standing in the water, his pants rolled up to his knees.  
  
“Holy fuck,” Jaehwan gasped, looking down at where the water met Hakyeon’s skin. The water dimly glowed a pearlescent gold, hovering and clinging to Hakyeon’s skin like hundreds of tiny fire flies fighting the current. “How are you doing that?”  
  
“I’m not doing it,” Hakyeon murmured, looking down. “I simply have a lot of magic.”  
  
Jaehwan looked at his own hand, where the water reacted to him like any other, “I must have _nothing.”_  
  
Sanghyuk was looking at his hand too, pressing his whole hand into the water. The water, now that Sanghyuk thought about it, was quite warm compared to how crisp the air was. “I… there’s nothing for me either, I thought I had magic.”  
  
“You do, Sanghyuk, but this water is very diluted. You might have the reaction I am having with water that is more dense.”  
  
Sanghyuk blinked up at Hakyeon, and then down at Hakyeon’s feet. “Does it—feel funny?”  
  
“No,” Hakyeon said softly, the sound a sigh. He lowered himself down, squatting, cupping his hands to scoop some of the water in his hands. He let it fall through his fingertips. “It feels very nice. It feels like home.”  
  
Sanghyuk mouthed the word _home_ without thinking, watching Hakyeon cup the water again and bring the water to his face, washing himself with it. Hakyeon splashed the water up his arms too, rubbing it into his skin like a lotion. Jaehwan and Sanghyuk stared as Hakyeon’s arms glittered.  
  
“Can we—can we go to a real Holy place, one with strong magic, when we go camp?”  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied. He stood up then, walking back onto the soil. “Taekwoon has already found a place that should be near one. He wanted to take Hongbin to one.”  
  
“Oh… do… the Holy places react to Soulbonds?”  
  
Hakyeon simply nods, not looking at them. Jaehwan and Sanghyuk look at each other, and silently realise that Hakyeon didn’t want to talk about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A scream.

Taekwoon and Hongbin jolted awake, bumping against each other’s bodies. They both sighed when they realised neither of them screamed, but someone else.  
  
“You should see him,” Hongbin mumbled against Taekwoon’s jaw. He could barely think straight, sleep still threatening to smother him. Taekwoon’s hand on Hongbin’s back slipped from out of his shirt.  
  
“No, you should. An alpha presence would be awful for him.” Taekwoon mumbled, turning his face to kiss Hongbin’s forehead. He tickled Hongbin’s tummy with his fingertips, and Hongbin twisted unpleasantly, groaning. “He needs you.”  
  
“Okay, okay,” Hongbin rolled over and kicked the sheets away. He was massaging his tummy as he sleepily put some tracksuit pants on, keenly aware Taekwoon was watching him from the bed.  
  
“You’re cute,” Taekwoon mumbled, sounding as if he was drifting off. He probably was.  
  
“Am not,” Hongbin grumbled, tying the drawstrings in a decisive bow in front of his navel.  
  
“Mmm,” Hongbin couldn’t hear what Taekwoon replied, nor did he think Taekwoon know himself, for Taekwoon had pressed his face into the pillow and rolled into it.  
  
Hongbin sighed, though his worry for Hakyeon was creeping in where his sleep crumbled away, and he left the warmth of the room to tip toe across the carpet to Hakyeon’s door. He knocked quietly before he eased his way inside, not waiting for permission.  
  
Hakyeon was sitting up in bed, chest moving in deep shudders as he hugged his shins. He didn’t look away when Hongbin came in, but instead looked forward, barely acknowledging he was there.  
  
“Hey,” Hongbin murmured, climbing onto the bed. He was hesitant to touch, so he started by running his hand down Hakyeon’s spine. His touch was like a spell, for Hakyeon reacted to it immediately, his muscles giving way. He sighed deeply.  
  
“What time is it?” Hakyeon asks shakily. Hongbin grasps the dark blue duvet, and pulls it over their feet. He manages to coerce Hakyeon back onto the mattress with him, and pull the blanket up over them.  
  
“Early,” Hongbin supplies, settling in to Hakyeon’s bed beside him. It was very large, enough for three people. Hongbin wondered he must get so lonely, but he knew that was true regardless. “You can sleep for another hour at least.”  
  
Hakyeon gave a little noise of acknowledgement, and Hongbin’s arms slowly found their way around Hakyeon’s lithe waist, trembling in his hold. Hakyeon’s skin was damp, and he was twitching from the bitter morning cold.  
  
“Did you dream of him?” Hongbin asked eventually, making sure the blanket was over Hakyeon’s shoulders. “You’ve been getting a lot of night terrors lately.”  
  
“Yes,” whispered Hakyeon, as if it were a solemn secret amongst children. “Ever since I danced, I’ve dreamt of the day he died.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hongbin replied.  
  
“No, it’s… it’s not your fault,” Hakyeon sighed, and to Hongbin’s relief, he began to sink into the embrace, and let himself be held. Hongbin pressed a chaste kiss to his head.  
  
“Is there someone you can see about it? Like a professional? What we saw… wasn’t normal, right? And it’s wearing you down, too. Maybe we could find an expert in Soulbonds.”  
  
 Hakyeon sighed, the sound forlorn and weary, “there is,” he says, “but I haven’t seen her in a long time.”  
  
“I think you should book an appointment. It can’t help to ask, maybe you’ll get closure.”  
  
Hakyeon simply hummed against him, and Hongbin took that as a sign to sleep.  
  
Hongbin found he had drifted off too, for he woke, startled, by the door opening. They slowly unravelled, looking towards the sound in tandem to see Taekwoon peering at them by the door. He was dressed in his uniform, a simple blue cotton shirt with the childcare’s insignia on his pocket. He looked much more awake.  
  
Hakyeon sits up, and Taekwoon regards him gently: but he’s frowning. “You haven’t woken up screaming like that for a while,” he pauses, looking at them both, “did something happen?”  
  
Hakyeon’s eyes widen, and he stills. It makes the movement of his head look erratic when he looks away, “yes, something happened.”  
  
Taekwoon looked to Hongbin, who avoided his gaze and rubbed Hakyeon’s back. They both hear Taekwoon sigh, “well, I don’t know what happened, but… I think you should see Heeyeon about it.”

Hakyeon’s chin tips down solemnly, and Taekwoon sighs and enters the room properly, rounding the bed. “I have to go to work,” he explains softly, tipping Hongbin’s face up to him with a finger.  
  
“I don’t like your morning shifts,” Hongbin confesses, eyelashes slanting down towards Taekwoon’s mouth that curled up into a smile.  
  
“Mm,” he hums, “I’ll be back in the afternoon. I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” and Taekwoon closed the space between them, their lips meeting tenderly, held for several seconds. It was ardent, and Hongbin felt an ache in his chest when they pulled away. Taekwoon shifted, leaning over to Hakyeon, and pressing a small kiss to his temple.  
  
“Goodbye, Hakyeon,” he murmurs. He closes the door quietly behind him.  


 

 

 

Wonshik watched his coffee very intently as he swirled it. He added another sugar sachet, laying it gently with the two others once ripped. It wasn’t like him to have sugar, let alone this much sugar.  
  
“Scared I’ll rip you a new one?” Taemin slumped into the chair opposite. He unfastened the two top buttons of his shirt, letting his chest breathe. Wonshik frowned.  
  
“No, it isn’t about you—“ Wonshik said pointedly, sending him a pointed glare that Taemin only smiled playfully at. “I’m meant to go camping with the pack tomorrow.”  
  
Taemin’s lips twisted unhappily. They both knew what Taemin thought about this whole… pack thing. Going to go live with some strangers. Weird strangers. “It’s just… so unlike you,” Taemin sighed, shoulder slumping. He tapped his fingers against the wooden table. “God, Wonshik, you worked so hard for what you have. But you’re gonna just… throw it away? For some people you barely know… let alone… _wild_ people? Wolves? They’re wolves, Wonshik. Wolves.”  
  
Wonshik kept stirring his coffee. The sugar was definitely dissolved by now. “They’re not… _wolves_ ,” Wonshik mumbled. He took the spoon out of the mug and put it carefully down onto the table. He lined it up with the sachets. He looked away a little, as he sipped his coffee – “only… two… of them can shift.”  
  
Taemin rolled his eyes.  
  
Wonshik frowned. He always felt defensive when the topic of the pack being brought up. No matter what any of them said, whether it be his own family, or his friends… he could see Hakyeon, looking through his window at the forests below. The look in his eyes, the way he spoke about it, the way he _cried_ about it. That wasn’t just a _wolf,_ nor was it a _wild person_. It was someone who had seen life, and lived it. Someone who wanted to live it again.  
  
Wonshik couldn’t think of a time he had ever thought about his own life that way. Had he really _lived._ Has he been happy, with the life he’d lived? Enough to look at his past like Hakyeon had looked at his? Wonshik frowned. “I’m getting older now. I’ve… I’ve done what I’m supposed to do, aren’t I? The city boy. I guess it’s… starting to get a bit mundane.”  
  
“You just need to find a nice girl, or guy,” Taemin leans back. He didn’t look as unhappy now, rather, resigned. Wonshik knew that Taemin truly cared about him, despite how brash he could be. “You have such a good work ethic, Wonshik. It’s just… it’s just weird, to see you want to change so much. I thought you were happy.”  
  
“I think I’m complacent,” Wonshik replied glumly. He took another sip of his coffee. There was truly, way too much sugar. “Besides, I… surely you don’t think this is a bad idea? You’re dating Jongin right now. He used to be in a pack in the wild, right?”  
  
“Yeah but,” Taemin sighed, rolling his eyes. He had been looking out the window, but now his gaze rested on Wonshik’s mug of coffee. “Jongin came back because the wild… wasn’t right for him. He saw _shit_ in there. He’s told me about it.”  
  
“L-Like what?”  
  
“Like pack wars. What head alphas do to each other when one is in another’s territory. He saw a wolf get their throat ripped out right in front of him. And he’s just an omega. He still has nightmares about it.”  
  
Wonshik shuddered. “Well, I—“ He thought of Taekwoon. Would Taekwoon do something like that? His thoughts wavered to the shorter, wide-eyed boy. Hongbin. Taekwoon would probably do anything if it meant to protect Hongbin. “It’s not like they’re in the wild, anymore. There’s rules about pack violence in the city.”  
  
“Mm,” Taemin hummed. He leant over, taking Wonshik’s hand. He squeezed it gently, “I just—you’re my best friend, Wonshik. And this was a really… impulsive decision. It’s pretty rash, to be honest. And you’ve got such a sweet bachelor pad. I’m going to miss it.”  
  
“You’re going to miss _my_ apartment?” Wonshik barked a laugh, and Taemin’s pretty lips curled into a smile.  
  
“Yes,” Taemin replied honestly. “I’m going to miss your awesome sound system, and your parties.”  
  
Wonshik snorted. “I guess it’s something I’m going to have to sacrifice.”  
  
Taemin looked a little saddened. “Are you sure this is what you want?”  
  
Wonshik nodded – his phone then vibrated, and Taemin pulled away. Wonshik blinked, taking his phone out of his pocket to see he was being called.  
  
“Unknown number,” Wonshik said dumbly.  
  
Taemin was picking at his earwax with his pinkie. “Probably telemarketer. I just hang up.”  
  
Wonshik frowned, and he answered, bringing the phone to his ear.  
  
“Hello Wonshik,” came the voice of someone Wonshik was unsure of, but had heard before. He tilted his head. “This is Taekwoon, the head alpha.”  
  
Wonshik perked up, spine going straight. Taemin looked up in interest, “oh, must be offering something good,” Taemin chirped with a grin.  
  
Wonshik sent him a glare, “yeah it’s—hello.” Wonshik swallowed. Alphas always made him feel nervous. Other than Taemin, but Taemin had next to no magic anyway.  
  
“Hakyeon has an appointment today,” Taekwoon said quietly. Wonshik had to press the phone against his ear harder to hear him. “I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with us later? I think having you there might make him feel better, and keep his mind off things.”  
  
Wonshik being there would make Hakyeon feel better? Wonshik made a little blubbering noise, and Taemin laughed at him. Wonshik squeaked a, “yeah that will be nice, I’ll come—I’ll come definitely. Uh, uh—when?”  
  
He could hear the smile in Taekwoon’s voice. “Around five? Yes. Five will be a good time. Does that sound alright?”  
  
Wonshik nodded, “yes, yes sir.”  
  
“Taekwoon will do.”  
  
“Yes, Taekwoon.”  
  
Taekwoon laughed, and Wonshik felt miserable.  
  
“I’ll see you soon, Wonshik,” Taekwoon sounded like he was purring, and then hung up. Wonshik lowered his phone, and his throat felt very dry. He reached for his coffee, drinking the rest in one go and trying to simmer the flush on his cheeks.  
  
“Who was _that?”_  
  
“The head alpha,” Wonshik mumbled miserably. “I’m going to have dinner with them tonight.”  
  
Taemin only grinned, “he must be beautiful to get that reaction from you.”  
  
Wonshik cover his face with his hands, his elbows on the table. “They’re _all_ beautiful,” Wonshik groaned, the sound muffled into his palms,  “ _All_ of them.”

 “I suppose that puts things into a new perspective,” Taemin replied thoughtfully, tapping his chin with his finger.  
  
“Shut up,” Wonshik growled, peeking through his fingers.

 

 

 

 

Clocks were always too loud and omnipresent in waiting rooms. He supposed it were only right for clocks to be in a waiting room, but it was a sound he hated.  
  
Hakyeon was immaculately dressed. He’d put on his salmon-coloured coat and the black turtleneck underneath was snug and well-fitting. Shiny shoes and black socks that smelled like laundry detergent. Hakyeon avoided looking in the mirror. He looked like an imposter. This wasn’t him.  
  
He closed his eyes. His heart ached. He hadn’t been here for a long time.  
  
“Hakyeon,” Ravi’s voice always lured him into trances. It was dark, and Hakyeon had remembered how he had shrunk away from the light.  
  
Ravi held a lantern in his hand. He bent down, running his hands through Hakyeon’s fur, ruffling it up a bit. “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”  
  
Ravi’s hand drew back when Hakyeon sent him a montage of memories; Hakyeon tackling a deer down a hill, hunting geese and hearing the snap of its neck to stop its flailing, chasing rabbits through the underbrush. Even now, Hakyeon’s maul was bloody, teeth painted red, a dead foal underneath him.  
  
“I know you miss hunting,” Ravi had told him, his voice so low, but so gentle. They were alone in the forest, but Ravi didn’t like speaking louder than he needed to. “But you need to leave it to the others now.”  
  
Hakyeon growled, bristling. Ravi could feel the anger in the air, the way wolf Hakyeon’s muscles tensed under his hand. Then, he shifted, and Hakyeon flopped onto the dirt. He was dirty, bloody, and his eyes reflected the orange light of the lantern like a jungle cat. He looked up at Ravi with contempt, and Ravi sighed, and fell back onto his bum with defeat.  
  
Ravi had always been able to know what he needed. Hakyeon hated being dragged along, being told to do something.  
  
“The head omega isn’t meant to hunt,” Ravi began, looking down at Hakyeon. Hakyeon looked up at him, saying nothing. He didn’t blink. Ravi looked down at the dead foal between them, several chunks of flesh ripped from it. It wasn’t a clean kill. It was an angry one. “They’re meant to look after the other omegas. The rest of the pack, the alphas, too.”  
  
Hakyeon looked down at the foal, and Ravi heard him swallow. “I know.”  
  
“You know what being with the head alpha means,” Ravi’s face pinched a little, “so why—“  
  
“I never asked for it. To be the head omega.” Hakyeon sat up then, though he didn’t look at Ravi. He looked away, from the foal, from Ravi and the lantern’s light. “We soul-bonded. Neither of us had a choice in that matter,” Hakyeon felt Ravi press the memory of the night they met in his mind. How happy they both were. How Hakyeon ran and jumped into Ravi’s arms and how Ravi twirled him. Hakyeon looked hurt and he sighed, “yes, I know. We love each other. You know I love you, Ravi. This is separate from that.”  
  
Hakyeon head turned, he had so much fire, so much life in his eyes. He looked like a wild animal that had been caged, and Ravi felt a kick of guilt. His face creased, and he looked down. “I’ll—I’ll try and arrange something then,” Ravi had said quietly. His sleepy eyes looked up to see Hakyeon staring at him. His golden skin shifted as he moved closer to Ravi, never giving a thought to how dirty he was, nor his lack of clothes. Hakyeon’s bloody fingers took Ravi’s chin, and Hakyeon kissed him on the mouth with a heat and passion that made Ravi’s heart ache.  
  
“Hakyeon,” Ravi breathed into Hakyeon’s lips, as Hakyeon pushed him down onto the soil, climbing onto his lap. Ravi laughed breathlessly, “Hakyeon—I—“  
  
“Hakyeon.”  
  
Hakyeon flinched. He opened his eyes, a red flush nestling on his cheeks. He stood up jerkily, looking up wide-eyed to his old psychologist.  
  
“It’s been a while,” Heeyeon said softly, opening the door for him. Hakyeon nodded, and obediently entered the room.  
  
Hakyeon settled down on the seat. He looked around, and a lot hadn’t changed. He pressed his lips together, and looked down at his hands. There were crescents in his palms from where he’d pushed his nails into his skin. He had to take a deep breath as he watched her sit down with a small clipboard.  
  
“How have you been, Hakyeon?” Heeyeon said quietly, sliding on her glasses. She was looking down at his records, and Hakyeon felt uneasy. He felt like the foal, with his life ripped out of him.  
  
“Struggling,” Hakyeon managed to not sound terse. He gave a sad little smile before looking down at his hands again.  
  
“In the same way as before?”  
  
“More or less… but… a lot has happened, since my last visit.”  
  
Heeyeon gave a little smile. She crossed her leg over the other casually, leaning back into the chair. An open gesture. “Why don’t you tell me about it.”  
  
Hakyeon nodded. He looked at his hands, how clean they were, but how they trembled.  


 

 

Hakyeon’s hands had stopped trembling by the time he walked down the stairs from the clinic. He felt strangely calm, even though, rationally, he shouldn’t be. Perhaps he was simply tired. Jaehwan was parked just outside, and Hakyeon collapsed into the car with a sigh, pulling his door shut with a sharp click.  
  
“How did it go?”  
  
Hakyeon fastened his seat belt, looking up and around to see Sanghyuk, too, sitting in the backseat. Hakyeon’s voice falters before he proceeds. “… Alright, I suppose. She booked me an appointment to a specialist.”  
  
“Isn’t she the specialist?”  
  
“Yes…” Hakyeon sighed, “but it’s a magic anomaly. She told me what she believes and wants me to do some tests. I can’t say she’d have many clients who lived with their soulmates in the wild.”  
  
“Will you have to take medication for it?”  
  
“Depends. She’s worried about…” Hakyeon hesitated. “She told me something that I… have to wrap my head around. So it’s either… that, or there’s something wrong with my magic. So she wants to be safe. It’s not normal, so…”  
  
Hakyeon’s voice trailed off. He could hear the sharp inhale of Sanghyuk’s breath.  
  
“He’ll be okay, Sanghyuk,” Jaehwan says with a smile, looking up at his rearview mirror.  
  
Hakyeon twists in the passenger seat to look at him properly, “I feel fine physically Sanghyuk, I’ll be fine.”  
  
“My mum felt fine too, for a while,” Sanghyuk said miserably.  
  
Hakyeon could only smile in assurance. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”  
  
Jaehwan clears his throat, “do you want to show him what we got?”  
  
Hakyeon lights up and he eagerly leans forward, craning his neck around the seat to the objects on Sanghyuk’s side. “Ah, yes, show me what you have found on your adventures.”  
  
Sanghyuk shakes himself, turns, and does his best to slide the largest object, still in its tarp casing, across the seat so Hakyeon could see better. It was huge. “It’s a six person tent. It has separate rooms, even.”  
  
“But we also got a two-person tent for Hongbin and Taekwoon so I don’t die,” Jaehwan added, and Hakyeon can’t stop smiling. “We got a portable barbeque too! And some other things that are in the car boot.”  
  
“It’s really happening,” Hakyeon said softly, almost in awe. “It’s really… we’re going to the wild. Together.”  
  
“Yeah,” Jaehwan smiled softly, and Hakyeon could only grin, shaking his shoulder. “Hey! Watch it, I’m driving.”  
  
Eventually, Jaehwan pulled up behind Taekwoon’s new van, gleaming in all its glory. Sanghyuk slid out of the car, announcing he was going to take the groceries inside. Hakyeon went to twist to get out of the car too, but Jaehwan grabbed him by the nook of his elbow. Hakyeon returned his gaze to Jaehwan, who was wide-eyed, eyebrows upturned in concern.  
  
“Did she… ask about me?” He said in a hushed voice. They could hear Sanghyuk lift up the car boot.  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon murmured, “after the session was over.”  
  
“Did you lie?”  
  
Hakyeon nodded solemnly, “yes. I said you were fine. Doing well, in regards to… your heart.”  
  
Jaehwan nodded, gaze dropping between them. His hand slipped from Hakyeon.  
  
“Are you sure you want me to lie?”  
  
“Yeah. It’s – it’s better that she thinks I’m okay.” Jaehwan frowned deeply, an expression that could only be associated with heartache. Hakyeon had seen it on his own face. “It’s better for the both of us. Thank you, Hakyeon.”  
  
Hakyeon simply nods, taking Jaehwan’s hand to kiss his knuckle, before turning to get out of the car and help Sanghyuk with the camping gear.

 

 

 

  


Hongbin thought his subconscious was very smart. It was either that or his wolf. One of them had the idea that broad shoulders were a very nice asset to have on a mate. And they were right.  
  
Hongbin was sitting on Taekwoon’s lap, his head nestled comfortably against Taekwoon’s shoulder. Taekwoon had finished his early morning shift at work.  
  
Taekwoon was napping now on the sofa they both sat on. Taekwoon had showered, and his hair was damp, his skin warm, and Hongbin was happy. They were both bundled up and cozy, floating in their own little space again. Hongbin made a small noise, lifting his face from Taekwoon’s shoulder to press his nose against Taekwoon’s cheek. He shivered, eyelashes slipping shut as he pressed small kisses against Taekwoon’s jaw.  
  
Taekwoon shuddered, his hands tightening, curling around Hongbin’s sweaters. “Bin,” he whispered, turning his head. Taekwoon kissed down into Hongbin’s mouth, and Hongbin moaned almost helplessly. He hadn’t known he needed Taekwoon to kiss him. He hadn’t known he always wanted Taekwoon to kiss him.  
  
“I love you,” Taekwoon murmured against Hongbin’s lips. Hongbin was slipping out of Taekwoon’s lap from the kiss, grasping at Taekwoon’s shirt to keep him sitting upright.  
  
The front door opened.  
  
“Nah it’s okay, I’ve got my closing staff to cover today for me—“ Jaehwan’s screeched to a halt. “Do you two ever _not_ make out?”  
  
Taekwoon and Hongbin reacted drunkenly. Hongbin fell out of Taekwoon’s lap, falling back onto the couch. Taekwoon stifled a laugh, helping him back up.  
  
“What—what time is it?” Hongbin mumbled, “I thought Hakyeon’s appointment finished at three?”  
  
“It did,” Hakyeon said softly, now in view. He was holding a fold-out chair with the tag still on it. “It’s three-thirty now.”  
  
“Shit,” Hongbin blinked hard, trying to wake his brain up from the magic. It felt so all-consuming sometimes. Like he’d taken a narcotic. “I’m going to be late for work if I don’t go now.”  
  
He climbed off the couch, slipping off. Taekwoon caught his hand just as he went to turn around.  
  
“What time will you be back?”  
  
Hongbin frowned, thinking about it. “I—I finish around nine, but… afterwards I have to…” _have a dance session with Hakyeon,_ he wanted to say, but obviously couldn’t.  
  
He looked at Hakyeon, obviously a little exasperated. Hakyeon supplied coolly, “I have to get Hongbin to help me with some things.”  
  
“You are being secretive,” Taekwoon replied, his face molding into something more serious. The three of them ignored how Sanghyuk and Jaehwan shuffled awkwardly out of the room. “You have both been secretive lately. I don’t like it.”  
  
Hongbin’s face fell, and an awful jab of guilt bruised his heart. “I—yes, we are, but—Taekwoon, it’s nothing bad.”  
  
Taekwoon stared at Hongbin, hard. Hongbin’s jaw clenched. “I do not like this, Hongbin. I would rather you tell me.”  
  
They were still holding hands. Hongbin looked down at them, and he inhaled to speak. “I—It’s—It’s for you,” Hongbin almost whimpered out. “But I can’t tell you what it is. Please I… I want you to trust me when I say it’s nothing bad. And there’s nothing wrong. You'll find out when I'm ready to tell you. Trust me, please?”  
  
Taekwoon’s eyes searched for any deceit in Hongbin’s eyes, but he found none. “I trust you,” Taekwoon said eventually. His head turned to Hakyeon, “you will not be home for dinner?”  
  
“No, I have to go to the university. I left my work there, so I might as well do it there.”  
  
Taekwoon frowned, displeased. “Ah. I had invited Wonshik over for dinner.”  
  
Hongbin and Hakyeon stilled. “What?”  
  
“I had called him after I finished work, asking him if he wanted to visit for dinner. He said yes.”  
  
Hakyeon looked hurt. “You didn’t tell me.”  
  
Taekwoon hummed, “I thought it would be a nice surprise. I know you don’t like going to the therapist.”

Hakyeon’s face twisted. Hongbin almost yelped a, “we can postpone it if you want, Hakyeon.”  
  
“No, we can’t. There’s still some things you need to… do.” Hakyeon was obviously conflicted. His nose wrinkled. “Tell me when you invite him, next time.”  
  
Taekwoon gave a small nod, but they both knew that there wouldn’t be a next time. They were going to go camping tomorrow, and after that, Wonshik would be likely moving in anyway.  
  
“I really need to go,” Hongbin blurted. “I’m going to be super late. I’ve never been late before.”  
  
Taekwoon gave a small little smile. “Yes,” he whispered ardently. He stood then, easily a couple of inches taller than the both of them. He tipped his face down to kiss Hongbin on the mouth. “I’ll miss you.”  
  
Hongbin looked into Taekwoon’s eyes as they pulled away. “I’ll miss you too,” Taekwoon smiled at that.  


 

 

 

“Thanks for driving me to work, Hakyeon,” Hongbin said, his backpack on his lap. He waved Taekwoon goodbye as Hakyeon pulled out into the road.  
  
“It’s fine,” Hakyeon offered a small, sad smile. “Can’t have you being late.”  
  
Hongbin nodded with a small smile. His innocent expression gave Hakyeon a moment of realisation that Hongbin was much younger. When he was Hongbin’s age, Ravi was still…  
  
“I need to tell you something,” Hakyeon blurted, knuckles tightening over the wheel. Hongbin saw Hakyeon’s knuckles turn white.  
  
“Is it about the therapy session?” Hongbin asked in a small voice.  
  
“Yes,” Hakyeon replied tersely. He kept his eyes on the road. Perhaps this was easier for him, Hongbin thought, to talk about something that was hard while driving. That way it gave him something to focus on, rather to think solely about something that hurt him. “I… I asked about when we danced, why I would see him…”  
  
Hongbin could see a muscle in Hakyeon’s neck twitch. He saw how Hakyeon tried with every muscle in his being to not let any emotions show, to not let anything out. “My therapist told me about a theory for closure. I have to see another doctor anyway, since what she told me has not been scientifically proven, so they want to check for… other things it could be, but…”  
  
Hongbin stilled, eyes as wide as plates.  
  
“Soulbonds… we share the same soul, don’t we? You and Taekwoon, technically, you are not different people. To the magic, to the Gods, you are the same. Do you understand so far?”  
  
“Yeah,” Hongbin replies quietly.  
  
“So, what the theory is… is that because Ravi is dead _, both_ of us are incomplete. In death, in afterlife, Ravi is incomplete. Half of my soul is in the afterlife. And half of his soul is here on Earth. The theory is that… Ravi is stuck in purgatory. Waiting for the rest of his soul – for me – to join him. So he can… go _on._  We saw him because he can't... he can't be at peace yet. He hasn't become one with the Gods yet. He's been waiting this whole time, for me.” _  
  
_ Hongbin’s eyes watered, his arms hugging his backpack to his chest. He shook his head frantically, “Hakyeon—no, you can’t—“  
  
“I’m not—I’m not—I’m not going to do that,” Hakyeon’s voice broke. “I’m not. I just… he’s suffering. Just as much as I am.”  
  
Hongbin’s lips trembled, “but it’s just a theory… it’s just…”  
  
“Hongbin, it makes sense, doesn’t it? Why I feel so incomplete. Why we saw Ravi, why… why _everything.”_ Hakyeon’s palm hit the top of the steering wheel in anger, his voice pitching. “God, he’s up there. He’s up there, and… he can’t move on. He can’t be happy. I thought -- maybe it would let me sleep at night, if I thought ... Ravi wasn't miserable. He's at peace, up there. But he's not. He's half a soul floating around in-in nothing. In _pain._ ”  
  
He winced. He pulled to a stop, and Hongbin flinched, looking around. He was at the front of his work.

He slowly looked back at Hakyeon, and lowered his backpack to the legroom of the car. He unbuckled his seatbelt, and moved forward to hug Hakyeon as he trembled.  
  
Hakyeon’s eyes were closed, lips in a bitten thin line, tears down his face, head tipped back on the head rest. He barely reacted to Hongbin wrapping an arm around him, lowering his head to his shoulder. Hakyeon’s chest trembled. He inhaled sharply, pushing at Hongbin’s shoulder to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry you had to hear this before work. But I had to get it out and – we have camping tomorrow, so it can’t wait until tomorrow.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Hongbin said tearfully. He looked so glum, and Hakyeon felt like crying again. God, he had even brought Hongbin into his miserable life. Who else would cry because of him?  
  
Hakyeon leant over, pressing a kiss against Hongbin’s cheek. “I love you,” Hakyeon said sincerely, like a mother might to their child. He squeezed Hongbin’s hand, egging him on. “I’ll pick you up so we can go dance afterwards. You finish at nine?”  
  
Hongbin was wiping his tears, and nodding with a small smile. “Yeah.”  
  
Hakyeon just nodded. “See you soon.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re not going to do anything?” Hongbin blurted. Hakyeon looked at him, and his face softened.  
  
“No, you.. and Taekwoon, and Jaehwan and Sanghyuk… I have things to look forward to, now. I’m not lost, when I have you all beside me. I am beginning to understand that.”  
  
Hongbin nodded, tears still framing his lashes. “Okay—bye, Hakyeon. I’ll see you soon.”  
  
“Yeah,” Hakyeon said brokenly, nodding while Hongbin grabbed his bag, and left the car.

 

 

 

  
  
Hakyeon waited until he was in his office. He fell to his knees. He curled over them, forehead on the ground. He screamed.

 

 

 

The pack house’s door opened, and Taekwoon stood before Wonshik. Taekwoon looked a lot softer than he remembered. “Wonshik,” Taekwoon smiled, and Wonshik’s heart made a little backflip. He thought he couldn’t feel magic, but he couldn’t think of what else it could be. Taekwoon must have a lot. A fuck-ton.  
  
“Hey,” Wonshik replied, staring at him from the porch steps. There was a smell, coming from inside. It smelled like a roast. Like he was back home at his family’s house.  
  
Perhaps… this was his new family. His new house. They met eyes again, and Taekwoon leant over, grabbing Wonshik’s hand. Wonshik guessed he must have been gawking, not knowing what to do.  
  
“Dinner isn’t ready yet, so we’re playing board games.”  
  
“Board games?” Wonshik blabbered. He thought about Taemin, and his comment about them being wolves. He looked into Taekwoon’s eyes, and no, this wasn’t a wolf. This was someone who was so, entirely unlike himself, and everything Wonshik wanted.  
  
“Mm,” Taekwoon smiled, and his eyes had the stars – no, - the _universe_ in them. “But… Hakyeon is not here. I did not realise, but he had already made plans with Hongbin without my knowledge.”  
  
Taekwoon lead Wonshik into the living room. It was a lot darker and cozier in here than the time Wonshik had come for his interview. There was a fire crackling by one of the recliners, and Sanghyuk and Jaehwan were curling over a game of kerplunk on the coffee table, wearing woollen sweaters. “So it’s just us.”   
  
“I haven’t played that game since I was a kid,” Wonshik blurted. Taekwoon let go of his hand, a soft smile on his face. “That’s the one where you have to take the sticks out and hope the marbles don’t… fall through the rest of the sticks. Right?”  
  
“Don’t talk to me,” Jaehwan snapped. He was carefully – very carefully – pulling one of the sticks out from the contraption. Sanghyuk was watching him intently, and Jaehwan cried out, “don’t stare at me like that either! You’ll spook me!”  
  
Sanghyuk grinned.  
  
Wonshik slowly sat down, mesmerized by the nostalgia. Taekwoon settled beside him, and Sanghyuk moved to give Wonshik more room. Jaehwan, in one swift motion, yanked the stick out. He waited a second before he exclaimed, “a-ha!”  
  
Before five balls fell through the sticks, and Jaehwan screamed in anguish. They all broke out into laughter as Jaehwan got to his feet, red-faced. “I’m going to go check on the roast!” He squeaked, half-jumping around the couch.  
  
As their laughter was reduced to smiles, Taekwoon nudged Wonshik’s knee. “It’s your turn,” he said softly, and Wonshik could only nod.  
  


 

Hakyeon parked behind Jaehwan’s car. With Hongbin in the passenger seat, they were both certainly more sweaty than when they left. Though, as Hakyeon had pointed out earlier, it meant they had done a good job.  
  
“Do you really think I’ll be able to do it?” Hongbin said, turning in his seat. He stared at Hakyeon nervously. “You think he’ll like it.”  
  
“I think he’ll fall in love with you all over again,” Hakyeon said, and his words were so sincere he saw the blush on Hongbin’s cheeks.  
  
“Well uh, that sounds nice,” Hongbin peeped. Hakyeon could only smile fondly as Hongbin clambered out of the car. Hakyeon followed suit, taking out his work satchel and slinging it over his shoulder. He had just locked the car when Hongbin piped up.  
  
“Wonshik,” Hongbin had called out. Wonshik blinked and turned. He was on the front porch with Jaehwan, who was giving him a lunchbox wrapped in a polka-dotted dish towel. It seemed they had caught him just in time.  
  
“Oh, you’re back!” Jaehwan perked up. “Why are you all gross?”  
  
Hongbin barked a laugh, “you’ll see.”  
  
Hakyeon rounded the car, and he smiled slowly at Wonshik, who seemed visibly shaken up. Hongbin noticed that Wonshik was wearing one of Taekwoon’s sweaters; it seemed that Taekwoon had practically adopted him, then.  
  
“I am sorry I couldn’t be here tonight,” Hakyeon said, walking up the porch stairs to be on the same level as Wonshik. “Did you have fun?”  
  
“Yeah I—“ Wonshik looked a little pink. Hakyeon wondered if they’d been drinking. He could pick up the scent of alcohol on Jaehwan, especially. “I had a really nice time. Too bad I’m really shit at board games.”  
  
Wonshik hiccupped.  
  
“Wonshik is absolute shit at snakes and ladders.”

“Oi,” Wonshik grumbled. He nudged Jaehwan playfully. “Not my fault there’s so many – _hiccup_ – snakes.”

Jaehwan grinned, so did Hakyeon.  
  
“How are you getting home?” Hakyeon said quietly, “I think you’re a little drunk.”  
  
“Cab,” Wonshik said with a dopey grin. “Don’t worry, I have the money.”  
  
Hakyeon tried to suppress a smile. “I’m sure you do. See you tomorrow, Wonshik.”  
  
Wonshik had already been wobbling down the stairs with his packed lunch. “Tomorrow?” He blubbered, wide-eyed. Hongbin was grinning at the bottom step.  
  
“We’re going camping, Wonshik. Be here at eleven am, on the dot, alright?”  
  
Wonshik nods, tapping his back pocket. “Yup, won’t forget. I have it on my phone.”

Hakyeon smiled, seeing the cab pull up onto the road. They all waved Wonshik good-bye, making sure he made it to the cab before they all shuffled inside. It was very toasty inside. The fire had been lit; Hakyeon could smell the fizzling embers.  
  
“Sounds like a nice night,” Hakyeon noted softly. They both looked at Jaehwan, whose pretty face was flushed down to his neck, up to his ears.  
  
“Yeah it was!” Jaehwan chirped, a little too loud. “Other than the Taekwoon and Sanghyuk thing—it was great.”  
  
“What happened.” Hongbin said flatly. Jaehwan frowned grumpily like a child.  
  
“I dunno, Sanghyuk just gets… antsy around Wonshik. Sees him as ‘competition’,” Jaehwan did lazy air quotes, rolling his eyes. “And he was also a little drunk, and Taekwoon didn’t have any of it so… he… told Sanghyuk to go to his room. That was like half an hour ago but—it was really funny, actually… it was like,” Jaehwan began to mimick how Sanghyuk was apparently stomping up the stairs, “it was like that, but a whole lot louder.”  
  
Hakyeon and Hongbin looked at each other. They sighed.

Jaehwan looked at them, squinting as if he was looking into the sun. “Did you have a nice time though?”  
  
They could only smile at him. Hakyeon moved to hug Jaehwan, cradling him in his chest. “Yes,” Hakyeon said softly. Jaehwan was looking over Hakyeon’s shoulder at Hongbin, obviously confused by the hug. “I love you very much, Jaehwan.”  
  
“Love you too,” Jaehwan mumbled, breaking away to look up at him. “Sure you’re alright?”  
  
Hakyeon only smiled sadly, running his hand through Jaehwan’s hair. “Yes. I think I will head to bed now. I think you should soon, too.”  
  
Jaehwan nodded. He smiled dreamily. “G’night, you two.”  
  
“Goodnight, Jaehwan.” Hakyeon and Hongbin said in unison.  


 

 

Hakyeon went to Sanghyuk’s door first, knocking gently before he entered. “Sanghyuk?”  
  
Sanghyuk was at his desk, spinning the atlus boredly perched on it. He tilted his head back on the chair, eyes bored, until he saw who it was. He sat right up, turning  
around in his seat. “Hakyeon!” Though it was obvious spinning in his seat was a bad idea, for he groaned. “ _No spinning while drunk. No spinning while drunk._ ”  
  
“I heard you were banished to your room,” Hakyeon said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
“Word travels fast,” Sanghyuk grumbles, getting out of his seat and shuffling to his bed, collapsing on it. “Getting banished sucks without a phone.”  
  
_We’re working on it,_ Hakyeon thought, watching Sanghyuk curl up on the bed. 

“Want me to read you a bedtime story?”  
  
“Not funny.”  
  
Hakyeon entered, clicking the door shut behind him. He willed his hands not to tremble, to not give anything away, as he sat down on the edge of Sanghyuk’s bed.  
  
“What did you do?” Hakyeon asked, voice low.  
  
Sanghyuk’s eyes flitted up from the bedspread, and then forward at his poster of Augustus.  “I… I might have gotten… angry at Wonshik for beating me at a game. And taking my frustrations out on him.”  
  
Hakyeon hummed. He raised his hand to smooth down Sanghyuk’s shoulder, not liking the angle it was being pulled at. Sanghyuk relaxed under his touch. “He’s nice,” Sanghyuk mumbled. “And it made me angry: how nice and how perfect he seemed. Slow to anger, easy to get along with, intelligent and wealthy. I can see why you like him.”  
  
“I also like you, Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon said quietly.  
  
“Yeah but, not the way… not like I like you.”  
  
“No,” Hakyeon tilted his head, hand rubbing circles into Sanghyuk’s skin now. “No, but I also don’t like Wonshik, the way you like me.”  
  
Sanghyuk was quiet.  
  
“I want you to behave on our trip,” Hakyeon said softly. “This trip… it means a lot to us. And this time, there will be no room for Taekwoon to banish you in. I don’t – I don’t really agree with him doing that, to be honest, but –“  
  
“No.” Sanghyuk shook his head. “No, I deserved it. I’m glad he did it.”  
  
Hakyeon blinked in surprise. “I needed the space to clear my head. I was being an idiot. And I—I trust Taekwoon. I’m learning to trust him. I think he has my best interests at heart.”  
  
Hakyeon gave a small smile, “yes, he does.”  
  
“And he’s also my… alpha. I’ve never had an alpha before. Nor any kind of… older figure. My dad was never really there, and unlike my dad, Taekwoon cares for me. I don’t see Taekwoon as my _dad_ but –“ Sanghyuk was rambling, the alcohol making his tongue slip. Hakyeon listened diligently, “it’s nice, you know? Having someone you can rely on. I feel safe around Taekwoon. It’s nice.”  
  
“You feel like you aren’t lost,” Hakyeon whispered, perhaps mostly to himself.  
  
“Yeah. I… I don’t feel aimless, with you guys.”  
  
Hakyeon leant down, pressing a small kiss to Sanghyuk’s temple. Sanghyuk blinked in surprise. “Goodnight, Sanghyuk. We have to get up early in the morning. Remember to pack all of your warmest clothes.”  
  
“Yeah—goodnight, Hakyeon.”  
  


 

  
  
  
Hongbin came out of his shower, feeling much better, though his bones were achy from all of the dancing. He truly, truly hoped Taekwoon would appreciate it. Though as he came out of their ensuite bathroom, he saw Taekwoon sitting up in bed, his face pink, watching his toes wiggle from under the sheet with a child-like amusement.  
  
“I told you to not wait for me. You should be asleep by now,” Hongbin said tersely.  
  
Taekwoon perked up, looking at Hongbin, “you know I can’t sleep without you. Besides, you didn’t even say goodnight, you just—ran into the bathroom!”  
  
“I was sweaty and gross,” Hongbin whined, wriggling a bit where he stood at the thought. Taekwoon smiled, a cute little thing, his cheeks bunching up. His legs lifted too, making him seem small. Hongbin sighed, “you’re drunk.”  
  
Taekwoon giggled, nodding. Hongbin raising an eyebrow. He moved over to the bed, sitting next to him. Taekwoon watched him, wide-eyed, as if he was seeing Hongbin for the first time.  
  
“You’re so beautiful when you come out of the shower.”  
  
“How much did you have?” Hongbin asked bluntly.  
  
Taekwoon grinned, “not much!”  
  
“I don’t know what game you were playing,” Hongbin was smiling now, it was hard not to when Taekwoon was wiggling his toes, and looking up at Hongbin as if Hongbin had just saved his life. “But did you lose?”  
  
“Nope!” Taekwoon reached over, pulling Hongbin closer. Hongbin wriggled down into the bed with him. “I won!”  
  
“You _won_?” Hongbin exclaimed, incredulous. He blinked in realisation. “Are you—are you lightweight?”  
  
Taekwoon giggled. He had cupped Hongbin’s face, and was leaning in to press kisses against Hongbin’s cheeks.  
  
Hongbin gasped in horror, wiggling at the affection, “oh, gods.”

 

 

 

 

“No one talk to me.” Jaehwan snipped. He wore giant sunglasses, and threw his duffle bag into the van. He followed suit, and collapsed into the back seat. The trunk of the van was now filled to the brim; tents, food, utensils, chairs, the portable stovetop. 

Taekwoon, Sanghyuk and Wonshik were also wearing sunglasses. Sanghyuk was bickering, Wonshik looked ill, and Taekwoon didn’t want to talk to anyone except Hongbin. Sanghyuk already had his earphones in, and was handing Wonshik a paper bag.  
  
“You look white as a sheet,” Sanghyuk exclaimed glumly. Wonshik accepted the bag with a small nod.  
  
Taekwoon went to climb into the driver’s seat, but Hakyeon smacked him away. “Nope. You’re too hung over to drive. All of you should be _ashamed_ of yourselves.”  
  
Taekwoon stumbled back a little, frowning deeply. “Can I sit next to Hongbin.”  
  
“No, Hongbin is sitting next to me. I am not having anyone vomit next to me.”  
  
“Don’t say the v-word,” Wonshik whined. He was now sitting next to Jaehwan, holding the paper bag in front of him. Hakyeon pulled a face at him.  
  
Hongbin smiled as Taekwoon sloppily kissed him in the cheek before waddling back into the van, sliding in next to Sanghyuk. He yanked one of Sanghyuk’s earphones out of his ear, and put it into his own.  
  
“I like this song.” Taekwoon murmured.  
  
“Everyone likes Beyoncé.” Sanghyuk sighed dramatically, though they smiled at each other.  
  
“Ready?” Hakyeon asked, as Hongbin climbed into the passenger seat.  
  
“If you puke on me, you’re going to be evicted,” Jaehwan growled, poking Wonshik in the side. “I don’t care how funny you were last night. I’ll make you regret it.”  
  
Wonshik nodded sadly.  
  
“I’m going to take that as a yes,” Hakyeon sighed, starting the van. It growled and spitted underneath them, and Hongbin felt a spark of excitement in his heart. This was it. He turned in his chair, looking back at Taekwoon, to see Taekwoon already looking at him, with all the love he had for him in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _LOZ navi voice: hey, listen!!_
> 
> i made a twitter, just for my fic stuff. it's on private, but don't be deterred because i'll add you!  
> please find me on[@psithurisma](https://twitter.com/psithurisma)!!! I post like. my feels about bonds and other aus i have but haven't been able to write yet.
> 
> thank you so much for reading this chapter! and i'm sorry for the wait. as always i love comments so much ;u;


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